Chapter Seven: More Time-Wasting Inanity
Disclaimer: Blah, blah, blah, as if, I wish, you've heard it all before
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Pippin and Merry went back with Moss Man and had a slumber party at his house. They stayed up late telling scary stories, though Moss Man's weren't that scary-they were all about termites.
The next day, Merry and Pippin noticed that Moss Man was being very secretive. He was wearing a black suit and dark glasses and muttering to himself as he moved about nervously. When they asked him what was going on, he only replied "That's classified information, gentlemen," to which they always responded "Oooookaaaaay…"
Later on, though, Moss Man revealed his secret: All Ents were actually undercover FBI agents, and they would be having a meeting in their secret headquarters later that night. He brought Merry and Pippin along for Show and Tell.
~*At the Entmoot*~
"Item Number One: The Headquarters," a random Ent said. They had said the pledge, gone over the minutes of the last meeting, had a snack, done arts and crafts, and were now getting down to business "Continue with the Entmoot: yes or no?"
He received a few 'yes's but more 'no's.
"I hate this place…it has squirrels," another Ent uttered, pulling a squirrel off his back.
"Okay! Disband!" The Ent checked a box. "Item Number Two: Those Professional-Wrestling Orc-thingies. They keep running into us," the Ent said, pointing to several cartoon-style outlines of Uruk-Hai in his bark. "Should we go kill them?"
"YEAH!"
"OKAY! That concludes the meeting!" The Ent threw the paper over his shoulder. Then the Ents all rushed out of the clearing, singing "When the Ents Go Marching In". Merry and Pippin were left to stand around and blink awkwardly. Or rather, Merry was left to stand around and blink awkwardly. Pippin ran after the Ents, singing, "On the Road Again" (AGAIN!! Doesn't he know ANY other songs?! Jeez…)
***
DaRum! DaRum! DaRum! They were making pretty good time…
"I'm in my happy place…my happy place…" Gimli was trying to imagine he was underground.
"GIMLI! I'M GOING TO PASS OUT IF YOU DON'T LET GO!" Legolas' face was turning a very attractive shade of blue. Gimli just whimpered and held on tighter.
"I have my own horse, I have my own horse," Aragorn taunted as he rode past, blowing a raspberry at Legolas.
"Shut up, you immature mortal!" Legolas yelled.
"YOU shut up, you prissy pretty boy!"
"YOU shut up, you unwashed scum!"
"CHILDREN! STOP BICKERING OR I'LL SEND YOU TO TIME-OUT!" Gandalf was getting pretty pissed. He had already taken away their dessert, computer, AND PlayStation 2, INCLUDING their LOTR game, and they STILL wouldn't stop fighting. So Gandalf, being much wiser than he looked (At least…we THINK so…), pulled out some earplugs and stuffed them in his ears and hummed happy tunes, leaving Legolas and Aragorn to duke it out.
"YOU shut up, you prissy pointy-eared thing!"
"YOU shut up, you hairball!"
"YOU shut up, you Gap commercial sell-out!"
"YOU shut up, you greasy monkey!"
"YOU shut up, you bleached-blonde sissy!"
"I am NOT a sissy!"
"Are too!"
"Am not!"
"Are too!"
"Am not!"
"Are too!"
"Am not!"
This continued all the way to Rohan, trust me, it's boring and neither one takes off his shirt to fight, so we'll continue next chapter.
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Sample of Next Chapter: M.E.M.!
Upon entering the hall, they caught their breath. Inside, everything was made of gold.
"GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLD!!!!!!!!!" Gimli screamed, throwing his arms around the nearest pillar. "Hey, yo yo, no touchin' the merchandise, man!" a familiar voice called across the hall. Legolas, Gandalf, and Aragorn looked over, but Gimli was too busy hugging the golden pillar. Standing further down the hall was Éomer with a young woman who immediately fell for Aragorn. Hard.
Disclaimer: Blah, blah, blah, as if, I wish, you've heard it all before
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Pippin and Merry went back with Moss Man and had a slumber party at his house. They stayed up late telling scary stories, though Moss Man's weren't that scary-they were all about termites.
The next day, Merry and Pippin noticed that Moss Man was being very secretive. He was wearing a black suit and dark glasses and muttering to himself as he moved about nervously. When they asked him what was going on, he only replied "That's classified information, gentlemen," to which they always responded "Oooookaaaaay…"
Later on, though, Moss Man revealed his secret: All Ents were actually undercover FBI agents, and they would be having a meeting in their secret headquarters later that night. He brought Merry and Pippin along for Show and Tell.
~*At the Entmoot*~
"Item Number One: The Headquarters," a random Ent said. They had said the pledge, gone over the minutes of the last meeting, had a snack, done arts and crafts, and were now getting down to business "Continue with the Entmoot: yes or no?"
He received a few 'yes's but more 'no's.
"I hate this place…it has squirrels," another Ent uttered, pulling a squirrel off his back.
"Okay! Disband!" The Ent checked a box. "Item Number Two: Those Professional-Wrestling Orc-thingies. They keep running into us," the Ent said, pointing to several cartoon-style outlines of Uruk-Hai in his bark. "Should we go kill them?"
"YEAH!"
"OKAY! That concludes the meeting!" The Ent threw the paper over his shoulder. Then the Ents all rushed out of the clearing, singing "When the Ents Go Marching In". Merry and Pippin were left to stand around and blink awkwardly. Or rather, Merry was left to stand around and blink awkwardly. Pippin ran after the Ents, singing, "On the Road Again" (AGAIN!! Doesn't he know ANY other songs?! Jeez…)
***
DaRum! DaRum! DaRum! They were making pretty good time…
"I'm in my happy place…my happy place…" Gimli was trying to imagine he was underground.
"GIMLI! I'M GOING TO PASS OUT IF YOU DON'T LET GO!" Legolas' face was turning a very attractive shade of blue. Gimli just whimpered and held on tighter.
"I have my own horse, I have my own horse," Aragorn taunted as he rode past, blowing a raspberry at Legolas.
"Shut up, you immature mortal!" Legolas yelled.
"YOU shut up, you prissy pretty boy!"
"YOU shut up, you unwashed scum!"
"CHILDREN! STOP BICKERING OR I'LL SEND YOU TO TIME-OUT!" Gandalf was getting pretty pissed. He had already taken away their dessert, computer, AND PlayStation 2, INCLUDING their LOTR game, and they STILL wouldn't stop fighting. So Gandalf, being much wiser than he looked (At least…we THINK so…), pulled out some earplugs and stuffed them in his ears and hummed happy tunes, leaving Legolas and Aragorn to duke it out.
"YOU shut up, you prissy pointy-eared thing!"
"YOU shut up, you hairball!"
"YOU shut up, you Gap commercial sell-out!"
"YOU shut up, you greasy monkey!"
"YOU shut up, you bleached-blonde sissy!"
"I am NOT a sissy!"
"Are too!"
"Am not!"
"Are too!"
"Am not!"
"Are too!"
"Am not!"
This continued all the way to Rohan, trust me, it's boring and neither one takes off his shirt to fight, so we'll continue next chapter.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Sample of Next Chapter: M.E.M.!
Upon entering the hall, they caught their breath. Inside, everything was made of gold.
"GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLD!!!!!!!!!" Gimli screamed, throwing his arms around the nearest pillar. "Hey, yo yo, no touchin' the merchandise, man!" a familiar voice called across the hall. Legolas, Gandalf, and Aragorn looked over, but Gimli was too busy hugging the golden pillar. Standing further down the hall was Éomer with a young woman who immediately fell for Aragorn. Hard.