Author's notes: I am not crazy, simply in love with Riddle.

Draco's notes: Shudder, I hate watching 'JAG'. Shudder, please, I need those 94 questions!

Disclaimer: This is J.K.Rowling's so don't sue me.

Chapter 3: Reviews 2 to 6

"Why does everyone hate me?" Elanor gets very moody after secretly reading Draco's letters and questions.

"Because you are a dumb and scary muggle."

"Well at least I'm not an evil person with a lame name like 'Death Eater'." Elanor retorts back, grinning to see Draco turn into an angry shade of purple.

"You really shouldn't, Draco, purple doesn't suit you at all. Try turning rainbow coloured, I'm sure that would be much cuter."

I think Draco has actually died.

No wait, he merely collapsed.

Elanor shrugs and drags Draco up again.

"Draco, you have letters to reply. Didn't you want to get rescued?"

Draco gets up quickly like a zombie and rushes to his 4 new letters. Elanor gives a nasty grin.

"Hope you like them Draco. Hahahaha."

"They'll be much better than you at least." Draco retorts with another sneer.

Elanor wonders if it is best to kill Draco or to paralyse him for life as a flobberworm.

~*~

Dear Draco,
I think you're one of the most interesting people I've ever heard of! Once you get away from Elanor *shudder* would you meet me at the Three Broomsticks?

Medrelina, 3rd Year Gryffindor

P.S. I promise Potter and Weasley won't be with me when I meet you.

~*~

"Ahhhhhhhhh!"

"Draco, are you okay?"

"Ahhhhhh."

"Look Draco, you have to answer it."

Draco grumbles and picks up his 50 galleon pure gold quill which mysterious arrived.

~*~

Dear Pathetic excuse for a wizard/witch.

Gryffindor suxs and everyone knows I only date Slytherins.

If you like me (shudder), you should have been sorted into Slytherin.

THAT MEANS WE ARE NOT MEANT TO BE.

I HATE POTTER AND WEASLEY AND GRANGER!!!

Yours hope-Gryffindor-dies sincerely,

Malfoy.

P.S: If you kill all your Gryffindor (another violent shudder) friends or hand them over to the dark lord, and get expelled... I might think about it.

~*~

"Well that wasn't very nice." Elanor exclaims.

"I'm not nice." Draco sneers back. "Besides, a third year Gryffindor?" Draco makes choking and vomiting noises.

"Stop paying out Gryffindor, Weasleys all rock." Elanor argues back.

Draco ignores Elanor who starts pulling her hair out in frustration.

"OUCH!"

~*~

hello there draco, your evilness,

what do you think of al the fanfictions that imple, ok, state very definately that you are a) not so bad b) really into wearing leather/dragonhide and c) secretly love potter??

just wondering!

p.s, my granny could hex someone better than you could!

crazy elanors right you know, youre so cute when youre mad! harharharharrrrr

p.p.s. do you like pickled onions?

~*~

"This is going to be one long letter." Mutters Elanor as she sees Draco scribbling furiously. "Oh well, at least he looks cute when he writes."

Draco stops for one second to give Elanor a Death Eaters glare.

~*~

Dear are you sure you are not mental,

Some very insulting questions were put to me and I want to answer them right now and stop all these horrible lame rumours.

I hate fan fictions except those where Potter dies of a terrible death and I rule the world and am married to a perfect and evil and beautiful girl. So, onto your questions.

A) You have a terrible spelling and grammar problem. Please learn to correct it.

B)I am Bad. I am very Bad. BAD BOY FOR LIFE. Muhahahaha. I hate those fictions where I turn into a butter could melt softie and be friend with Potter and all that vile stuff. Those Fan Fictions scare me and are horrible. Stop them. I'm evil. I am not good. I DO NOT LIKE POTTER IN ANY WAY. What would Father and Master think when they sees them. If they did, I would die a very horrible death.

C) Dragonhide? Leather? Is everyone on this Earth as crazy as Elanor?

I wear very expensive and tailor made green and silver robes, thank you very much. Leather? Dragonhide? What is this world coming to.

D) POTTER IS FOUL. POTTER IS STUPID. POTTER REALLY STINKS. POTTER MUST DIE. POTTER IS A POT HEAD. POTTER SHOULD STICK HIS HEAD IN THE LOO. I hope that answers you last foul and crazy question. Please let me tell you, there are many good mental institutions in the world which would gladly take you in.

E)I challenge your grandmother to a death duel the minute I get out of Hogwarts.

D) You are as crazy as Elanor.

F) I do not like pickled onions. Well, I like those expensive rare pickled onions which dirty faced Weasels would never be able to afford.

Yours, please go and check your head,

Draco.

P.S: Are you related to this crazy muggle Elanor by any chance. Both of you are insane.

~*~

"Why does everyone think I am crazy?" Elanor asks Draco after reading his letter.

"You are... How dare you read my replies Elanor?"

"All the better to know you, my Draco. I didn't know you had a crush on Potter."

"I DO NOT. CRUCIO!"

Elanor dodges a jet of black light.

"Okay, calm down Draco, you have more letters to reply to."

Draco mumbles some indistinct words.

~*~

Draco! Darling!
If you know all of dear old Voldie's relations all the way to his "third cousin twice removed's stepfather's nephew", what if I told you I'm his fourth cousin thrice removed stepmother's niece's second cousin? Would you just laugh and call me a stupid Muggle, a Ravenclaw wannabe, or a frelling liar? I'm leaning towards the second one.

Oh, by the way, you ARE hotter than Potter.

Luv, Hugs, and Nuclear Warheads,
anna

~*~

Dear anna with no capital in front of her name,

I am afraid to disappoint you but my mother's sister is the Dark Lord's fourth cousin thrice removed stepmother's niece's second cousin. It was a very convincing try as it did get my head working trying to think who the person was. Unfortunately, the Dark Lord's relatives are my strongest subject. Pity it's not taught in Hogwarts, bet Granger mudblood would not know one single answer.

So there stupid muggle, Ravenclaw wannabe and frelling (Draco is confused by this word and forces Elanor to check it in the dictionary, but to no avail) liar.

I have bad news for you, the dark legions do not like imposters or wannabes.

Wait, you think I'm hotter than Potter.

HAHAHA! I KNEW IT! THERE YOU GO ELANOR!!!

I RULE! I RULE! I RULE!

Oh yes, where was I? I will write you a recommendation to the dark legion as soon as I get out.

What are Nuclear Warheads? A muggle candy?

Draco, who is hotter than Potter.

~*~

"You are not hotter than Potter," Elanor simple says.

"Oh yeah," Draco gives a smug smile, "I have proof right here in your eyes."

"That's just 0.00000001 percent of the female population who thinks you are hotter." Elanor tries to give an equally smug smile but fails when she sees Draco's pale face as he reads his next letter.

"Draco, what's wrong?"

~*~

Draco! How dare you insult me on the web! I was just wondering how you are! I miss you so much! I cry over your mysterious disappearance everyday! I must go, with love Pansy.

~*~

Dear Pansy,

I am er... visiting our Dark Lord's fourth cousin thrice removed stepmother's niece's second cousin. Yes, that's all. I'll be back next year when I arrive with my fiancee ("Quick, think of some one pretty for me," Draco whispers helplessly. "Okay, what about Mary Sue." Elanor says at the top of her head.) Mary Sue.

She is er... ("Pretty," Elanor whispers) pretty and wonderful and stunning and evil and this is love and I am sorry to say I do not like you anymore and I am going to prepose ("Are you sure that's the word? I thought it was propose," Draco whispers to Elanor) to this Mary Sue. So bye.

Mr. Malfoy.

You will be invited to our wedding.

~*~

"Hahaha," for once in the whole of History, Elanor and Draco laugh evilly together.

"We tricked Pansy. I knew I was always so evil and smart." Draco and Elanor give each other a high five.

"Hey it was my idea!" Elanor exclaims.

"So, I just can't wait to see Pansy's face when I get back and arrive with my lovely ..."

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh." Elanor and Draco give a scream at the same time.

"What have we done Draco? What are you going to do when you get back?"

~*~

How are you? I just wanted to know why you are putting up with that *itch Elanor? I would just curse her. Or hex her, whitchever is more convientiant at the time. Bye the way, you cant deny that you know me, cause you know Im a fifth year Slytherin. You know that very well. And I also want to say, that Crabbe and Goyle are annoying the heck out of me, and the second you get back here, you are helping me hex them. I cursed Goyle yesterday. Also I asked the Dark Lord yesterday, why he had not gone to get you yet. He proptly responded that he didn't care, he was to busy taking over the world. I also got punished for asking him and had to endure the pain of the crusitous curse. (thats probably spelled wrong) He also lectured me about how low we are on his list of supporters due to our extreme youth and said he wouldn't care about you untill you got older. You know owe me.

~*~

Dear Aylena,

Nice to meet you again fellow Slytherin. During the next meeting, please inform the Dark Lord that I will try to get back as soon as possible.

Take an ageing potion with you to the next meeting.

Do not dare to touch Crabbe and Goyle. They may be goons but they always help me to squash Potter and his two friends.

The dark lord is very tired and busy. It is your fault you asked him first.

I cannot curse Elanor right now because I am in trouble with Pansy. (Cough Cough).

I will try to but maybe if she dies, I will stay here forever.

I do not know how I put up with her, my blood pressure is getting very high.

Yours sincerely and evilly,

Draco Malfoy, your fellow death eater.

~*~

"Lets think about how to deal with Pansy later Draco." Elanor yawns.

Draco is reading a book called 'To kill a Mocking Elanor'.