Author's notes: To the question of Mary Sues and our plan to save Draco.
Draco's note: And also the murder of Elanor after I am saved.
Disclaimer: Why does everyone hate me? I'm only doing my job. You know that all this really belongs to J.K. Rowling.
Chapter 4: Mary Sue and Reviews 7 to 9
So after that episode with Pansy's letter, Draco and Elanor are very worried.
"It's all your fault Draco. Honestly, as if you reply to her letter that you are going to be married. How thick can you get?" Elanor exclaims, wondering how to get Draco out of this mess.
"Evidently not as thick as you Elanor."
Grrrr.... Maybe Draco can sort everything out himself if he's so stuck up.
"Actually, I was being annoying so that you would killed by me, Elanor."
"What? Huh?" Elanor is very confused that someone being annoying could actually kill her.
"It's in here, this book. It says the first rule to kill a Mocking Elanor is to act smart farty." Draco waves the book he had been reading before in the air. "Luckily, I'm so smart that I don't have to act."
"DO YOU WANT ME TO HELP YOU OR NOT?" Elanor shouts. "OR DO YOU PREFER TO MARRY PANSY PARKINSON."
Draco turns pale at the mention of Pansy and the letter he wrote to her last time. "So, when I get out of here, after about 91 letters, I have to find someone to pretend to be my fiancee."
"Don't worry about that, millions of girls want to marry you anyway. All we do is put up a advertisement in the classified section of a muggle newspaper and that should do the trick."
"Mudblood newspaper? No way," Draco turns his nose in the air.
"Well then what?" Elanor asks in frustration. After 10 seconds, she gets a brilliant idea.
"We can ask the cloud of smoke to write an evil Mary Sue into the story for you when you get back!"
"What's a Mary Sue?" Draco really wants to know this.
Elanor wonders how to describe a Mary Sue without taking a page and a half of description..
"Mary Sue is an stunning beautiful thin girl with dark brown hair and enchanting eyes and has a dark dark secret to turn Hogwarts upside down, can duel better than old Voldie, is best friends with everyone, very smart, has a pet that can talk, automatically learn Gryffindor's secrets, can turn herself into a unicorn and a pureblood and is very nice and sweet and lives happily ever after. The End." Elanor mutters all this in one breath.
Draco's eyes lights up automatically and gives a cold sneer. "Done deal. Let's get the cloud to write me a Mary Sue to pretend to be a wife."
"Don't forget that millions of girls in this world are going to be very disappointed." Elanor warn Draco.
Draco ignores Elanor completely as his 6th and 7th and 9th letters come flying to him.
"All right, 92 more to go before I can get rid of you. Muhahahaha!"
~*~
Draco,
I regret to inform you that due to the fact Goyle and Crabbe were acting stupider then usual (I swear they wouldn't know a
good comeback if it came and bit them in the ass.) They both have been Hexed, and locked in an abandaoned room. Now if
I understand this git muggle right, you have to answer questions to get out of there.
1. Why did you take Pansey to the ball? personally I think you could have done better.
2. Are you going to be able to make it for the start of the Quidditch season?
Morrigan
P.S I'm sending a book about crazy writers and how to deal with them along with this letter. You might be able to use it, I
stoled it from Potter when I was booby trapping his trunk (I also got a free invisible cloak from scarface.)
~*~
Dear Morrigan,
I command you to leave my henchmen along. They have a mission to fulfil for the Dark Lord, mainly to kick Potter and Granger and Weasel's behinds. Goyle and Crabbe may be stupid but they know how to bash Gryffindors up. Sometimes I think that is their only purpose for living.
As for your questions:
Father expected me and I was pressure to take Pansy to the Yule Ball. Besides, can you suggest anyone better from Slytherin. The ball was incredibly boring due to Pansy clinging on to my arm. However, both our parents are rich and evil and Father forced me to go with Pansy. The Dark Lord suggested it too.
Quidditch is my life and I am the best at it. Of course Hogwarts will wait until their best player arrives back to start the season. I am going to win the quidditch cup this year and if I don't, I'll kill Elanor to vent my anger. Muhahahaha.
Yours evilly,
The best quidditch seeker in the world,
Draco Malfoy.
P.S: I do not give out signatures to my quidditch fans. Thank you but I think the book "To kill a Mocking Elanor" is enough. It is very to the point. WHAT WERE YOU DOING IN POT HEAD'S TRUNK?!!?
~*~
"Yeah right," Elanor makes vomiting noises, "Potter is the best seeker and for your information, you will be back in time for the quidditch season so I can see Potter beat you."
"Was that just a death wish Elanor?" Draco growls in anger.
Elanor gulps and decides to shut up for a while.
~*~
Draco,
I WAS NOT ASKING, REPEAT, NOT ASKING TO GO OUT WITH YOU. You're an interesting guy, and all I wanted
to do was to meet you to see what you're like. By the way, I pity you for having to put up with Elanor *shudders*.
Medrelina Viqiuna Ravhelinus
A.K.A Medrelina the Weird
~*~
Dear Medrelina the very weird,
I said no and I say nay again. Glad you think I am interesting though. However if I mistook your intentions, I still refuse.
My Slytherin reputation will go down if I even think of meeting a Gryffindor.
I thank you for your pity that I have to stand this insane Elanor.
But I don't need your pity.
If you want to know what I like, let me tell you:
I am the best. I am rich. I am cool. I hate Potter and Gryffindor. Everyone loves me.
Enough for you?
Yours hatefully,
Malfoy the Anti- Gryffindor.
~*~
Draco,
Are you insane? Try to fool the Dark Lord with an ageing potion? Not only is that insane, it's a death wish. Plus, due to my
Fathers extreme loyalty, the Dark Lord already knows my age. In fact, he said he is thankfull that the younger generations of
Slytherin's havn't been corupted by that crackhead fool, Dumbledore. Don't worry, Crabbe and Goyle are fine, though I
might add, Stephen's making quite sure they don't hang with us untill your return. Also, I though you would be pleased to
know that Stephen got a detention for dueling with Potter. He won with flying colors and Potter's been in the hospital wing
for a week. That awfull mudblood Granger is driving me INSANE! I WILL hex her if she dosen't back off soon. Also you
can tell Elanor that Weasel is an ugly git who doesn't deserve to live! He tryed to change his book bag pink in Potions, and
missed his target. Instead he hit my beutiful, long, black hair! Thankfully, Snape had a counter potion at his desk. I don't
think the others will ever let me live it down. I will see you soon.
Aylena
your fellow death eater
~*~
Dear Aylena,
I am not insane. It was your fault for asking the Dark Lord anything. We are too young and powerless to talk to him yet, I suggested the ageing potion to see if you would use it and get into even more trouble. Ha! Ha!
As for death wishes, they have nothing to do with me. If you want to survive and gain power, keep quiet when you are in meetings with the Dark Lord.
I suggest that you remain strictly loyal to the Dark Lord like me.
As for the fool Dumbledore, he will be defeated. I can't stand mudblood lovers. Why he let Granger into Hogwarts remain a mystery.
Glad you left Crabbe and Goyle alone, or I would have told Father. Just let the dumb pair hang around by themselves.
Stephen, tell him I congratulate him. However I am severely disappointed that he did not kill Pot head on the spot. He still should have left everything to me. When I get back, there won't be a Potter anymore. Do me a favour and poison Potter's medicine in the hospital wing if you can.
Granger is very annoying. I hate that foul mudblood and know-it-all. Try to kill her if possible. I wonder if there's another King snake in the Secret Chamber for you to "accidentally" set loose...
Dirty-faced Weasel is just stupid. You should have hexed him back. Professor Snape wouldn't have minded. What was Dirty-faced Weasel doing with PINK anyway? How pathetic.
Yours evilly,
Draco your fellow death eater.
~*~
What Draco does not know is that Elanor is creeping behind him holding a frying pan to hit him in the head.
BANG!
Draco collapses.
"That's what you get for insulting Ronniekins."