Author's notes: Oh, Today we are going to learn about how Draco contacts his dad.
Draco's note: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
Disclaimer: You know that all this really belongs to J.K. Rowling.
Chapter 5 : Reviews 10 to 14
"I wish you never kidnapped me, muggle. This is so boring. You should have got pathetic little Potter to come here and sit and wait for 100 questions with his lovely scar and noble face."
Elanor suddenly has a very evil glint in her eyes and Draco wonders if he shouldn't have just said that.
"Since you're bored Draco," Elanor begins, "I'll make you read a book. Muhahahaha."
Draco's whole face turns whiter than his usual white. "Nooooooo, I hate muggle books."
"I haven't finished yet Draco. If you don't at least read one, I will tear up your letters."
"You won't dare to, mudblood!"
Elanor takes up a chunky edition of Pride and Prejudice and throws it at Draco. Unfortunately, Elanor has the worst aim in the world and ends up chucking the book against the wall."
"Hahaha, you broke your book Elanor, and by the way, you have the worst aim ever."
Elanor, just for once, actually ignores this insult as she is too busy crying over one of her favourite books, which has a dent in it. Elanor then gets up, holding the book preciously and points her finger at Draco. "I sue you for the third- rate attempted murder of Pride and Prejudice."
Draco looks at Elanor as if she has gone mad. "You can't sue me because there's no evidence and you are a muggle."
"You are a wizard and I'll tell the judge that and they'll put you in the loony bin."
"I thought this was the loony bin."
Elanor gives up on Draco.
"You're annoying me Draco, go and answer your letters."
Meanwhile Elanor curls up and reads The Count of Monte Cristo. She gets so caught up with it that she is pretending to be Edmond Dantes.
Mutterings of "insane lunatic Elanor on the loose" can be heard from Draco's corner.
~*~
Honestly, your very insulting at times. To think you even QUESTIONED my loyalty to the Dark Lord. Anyway, what
would your Father have done if we didn't leave poor little Crabbe and Goyle alone? You really shouldn'y go running to you
Father for everything. It dosen't do much for your image at school. By the way, Pansy told me to tell you that the Muggle
Studies room just got a computer, and she read this whole story, with all its responses. I personaly doubt that she knows
anything let alone how to read. Plus, Ive been to the Muggle studies room (I had to run an errand, I have not and will not
ever take that class) And I saw no computer there. She didn't seem to know what she was talking about. Maybeone of her
few friends clued her in. I dont know how you stand her. I can't. For your information I did hex the Weasel back after he
cursed me. Its just that this is such a commen occurance I didn't want to bore you with the details. Must go.
Aylena
~*~
Dear Aylena,
I find it a compliment that I am insulting. I questioned your loyalty due within reasonable foundations. You sound like you are bored of things. I advise you to sound more enthusiastic if you want what's good for you.
As for Crabbe and Goyle, how many times have I told you to leave them alone? In fact, I will contact my father very soon about some pressing matters and you should watch out. I doubt that you would like another taste of the Crucio curse.
My image is very well thank you. I know that you're just jealous. After all, my father is much more loyal to the Dark Lord than yours.
As for Pansy, I don't think she has much friends. Besides, she already received my letter to her explaining that I will soon be engaged. She's so stupid she can't tell a lie from the real thing. All I do is to turn up with Mary Sue, pretend we are about to be married and then hopefully Pansy will ignore me for the rest of her lives. My plan is so good that I don't think she will ever find out.
As for dirty-faced Weasel, what did you mean by a common occurrence? Does Weasel curse you everyday. If that's the case, you should brush up on your duelling skills. I have absolutely no faith in them what so ever.
And as for hexing, you should targeting Pothead first, not his sidekick.
Will you ever learn? Please keep me informed about the next Death Eaters' meeting.
Draco Malfoy.
~*~
"And how is Dracokins going to contact his father?" Elanor sticks her tongue out. "Your house probably does not have a telephone. Besides, you probably won't know how to use one."
"I know how to use one and for your information, the Malfoy residence owns several solid gold studded with diamonds telephones. And I thought you were reading your book Elanor." Draco gives Elanor a death ray.
Elanor hurriedly goes back to her interesting book. She gets absorbed into all the vengeance that she starts play-acting in one corner. "I shall be a count. I shall be the count of Monte Cristo."
Draco shakes his head at Elanor's mad behaviour.
~*~
Draco,
Since you don't seem to know what Booby traps are, I'll say this simply: I was setting up traps and time delayed curses in
and on PotHead's trunk. (To bad no one has been able to time delay an avada kedavra, or I would have put one of them in
the trunk as well.)
As for Crabbe and Goyle, are you sure? I mean its kind of hard to let them out of the abandoned room when you just
watched them play with their socks as puppets. Gotta go curse some Gryffindors.
Morrigan
~*~
Dear Morrigan,
Have you thought it over in your head that cursing Pothead straight away is much more easier and works better? Booby traps? How pathetic, even first years won't use those. But I suppose not everyday can duel as great as I can.
I am positive about letting Crabbe and Goyle go. Why is everyone picking on them so much? You are to immediately set them free or face a Crucio curse from my Father. That is, after I contact him. As for them paying puppets with their socks, believe me, I have seen worse. Very worse.
How many Gryffindors have you cursed already? Remember to leave them paralysed for life so you can have the pleasure of watching them suffer in their later lives.
Draco Malfoy.
~*~
"Fernand, of my hundred names I need only tell you one to overwhelm you! But you guess it now; do you not?-or rather you remember it? For notwithstanding all my sorrows and my tortures, I show you today a face which the happiness of my revenge makes young again- a face you must often have seen in your dreams since your marriage with Mercédès, my betrothed!" Elanor is acting out another scene from her book.
"Edmond Dantes!" Elanor is now pretending to be fencing.
"Would you mind keeping it quiet there Elanor?" Draco says.
Elanor stops in mid air dramatically, "Do you mind Mr. Evil guy, I'm reading here."
~*~
I'm back! Sooooooo....Do you have a girlfriend? Or at least have a crush on someone? If so, who are they?
Medrelina Viqiuna Ravhelinus
A.K.A. Medrelina the Weird
P.S. Don't worry, I don't want to be your girlfriend.
~*~
Dear Medrelina the Weird,
I was hoping you weren't going to be back. Oh well, life isn't always perfect. No I do not have a girlfriend, I have not met anyone who is as evil, rich and popular as I am. And a crush, sorry to say- No. Malfoys never have crushed on people. Crushes are what weak peace loving people have.
If there was someone who looked like an evil veela, I would ask them out. I have to say that Fleur Delacour looked positively stunning and I liked her for a long long time. Of course, I always have girls chasing after me (Shudder Pansy shudder shudder).
I am not worried about anything except that you might keep writing to me.
Yours hatefully still since you are in Gryffindor,
Draco Malfoy the Best.
~*~
"Yeah right. You forgot to put modest there with your other great qualities." Elanor mutters.
However, Draco does not quiet hear this as he is busy reading his next letter with a blue face.
~*~
Dear Draco,
I am Salazar Slytherin's FIRST (YES FIRST!!!) daughter (looking no more than a day over 16)
i'm a vampire which totally explains for my wonderful aging. Voldy's looking for you. He says that you forgot about your
duties to keep him informed about what going on with HP (the freak), and i'm looking for you cause you forgot that you
promised to watch out for my friend Dawn (she's like a mary-sue but way cooler).
Anyways...hurry back before i have permission to drink your blood,
Gaz Destiny, the fair silver haired and eyed madin
(Lady Gaz Destiny finacee to the one the only Dark Lord...and don't tell me i'm lying cause i'm not!!!!! and if you say i am
i'll just kill the dark lord).
~*~
Dear Gaz Destiny,
The Dark Lord has already be informed of my absence and knows that I will get right back to my work the minute I am out. I thought that Aurors killed the last remaining vampire in 1497 AD with a stake at her heart.
Salazar Slytherin was not a vampire so I presume that you were bitten.
Unfortunately, I always wear a Holy Cross pendant so you may never be able to drink my blood.
Sorry for everything but I am very busy now.
Yours, shudder shudder,
Mr. Draco Malfoy
~*~
"That was really scary," Elanor is somehow looking over Draco shoulder.
"I know."
Draco starts up on his last letter of the day. He looks at it, and immediately starts swearing and screaming. Unfortunately, due to ratings, we can only show one of the swear words, which is "bloody".
~*~
Hallo Draco the ferret!
I'm a fellow student from Gryffindor and I just want to tell you some (at least for you) annoying news.
Pansy has cried since she recieved your letter but she plans evil revenge. (Mary Sue! Run for it!) You've been warned!
Snape gave detention to Crabbe and Goyle this morning because they spilled their potion on his new robe. Snape looked like
he would explode anytime soon!
I think it's the first time he gave detention to a Slytherin AND deducted 50 points from Slytherin. All Gryffindors (me
included) laughed so hard about them!
Oh, Harry's well again and trains for beating your miserable excuse of a Quidditch - Team!
Bye, ferret boy!
Yours,
Felicia A.K.A Wolfy from Gryffindor
P.S.: Die, Voldemort, die!
~*~
Dear Felicia,
100 points have been added to Slytherin for the brave actions of Draco Malfoy under crazy Elanor muggle captivation. I have made sure of that and Professor Snape agreed to it happily.
I do not care about Pansy crying. I invited her to my "supposed" wedding. What more does that girl want? And since when do you know about people in Slytherin? Knowing Gryffindors, you probably made it all up.
Pothead sucs and will be in the infirmitory very soon. Lets just say that special dementors will be paying a visit soon. Not to mention the fact that the Chamber will be reopened.
You suck. And did I tell you that you are really stuck- up?
We rule.
Please get that into your head.
A wolfy from Gryffindor? Please spare me.
Yours,
Get Lost.
~*~
"I need the phone now." Draco's hair falls limply across his face in anger.
Elanor thinks Draco has gone insane too but hands him the phone. After five hours of "Please Father"and "Yes Father", Draco gets off the phone.
"And I thought I was bad with the phone. Now there's someone who talks longer than me," Elanor mutters.
Meanwhile, Draco has a triumphant gleam to his eye. "Everything is sorted. Muhahaha.