Ch.2 No witness. No crime.
Bart, with Joe still in his head, walked with Milhouse to the school where Mr.Skinner was validating tardy slips. They were wearing black and edging along the school grounds slowly.
"Wait, Bart. What is our attack weapon going to be?" asked Milhouse.
"Oh yeah. I forgot about that. I'll have to break into the gun store." Replied Bart. They hurried off the school grounds and down "Gun Lane." Bart walked up to a store called Gun-Mart.
"You know how to pick a lock, Milhouse?" Bart asked Milhouse.
"Well…" He replied,
"Never mind. I'll do it myself."
"I can though." Milhouse blurted.
" Then you do it. I can't waste my strength picking locks when I have to pull triggers."
"Well, now that you mention it. I shouldn't waste my str…"
"You can't do it, can ya?" Bart said, "That's what I thought. I'll pick the lock while you stand guard." Bart told Milhouse.
. While Bart looked for a pin or something of that sort, Milhouse said, " Bart, I don't think this is such a good idea."
"What's the matter Milhouse? Chicken?" Bart said in a sly voice.
"I'll stand" Milhouse said in a squeaky voice. Then in a lower, deeper voice he said, I'll stand guard."
"You do you that."
Bart finally picked the lock and got the door open. They went inside to see what they wanted to see for a long time. They were in a gun store (full of guns) and all to themselves. They could steal and not be caught. Milhouse started to walk inside but Bart said, "Wait!"
"What? Who? Why?" Milhouse yelled.
"Don't you know that all these gun stores have laser security systems?" Bart said quietly.
"And you should try keeping it down. Someone might hear us."
"Oh yeah. What are we going to do?"
"Well it's what I'm going to do. I watched this movie where this guy was robbing stores and he could get past laser security systems. Well, cigarette smoke will make all lasers appear. It's really cool." Bart grinned. He knew his plan would work.
"Cool." Bart took out a cigarette and lit it. He took one puff. Then let the smoke come out of his mouth. The lasers appeared near the doorway, crisscrossing. The lasers were only around the feet so they could easily step over them.
Bart walked over to the glass case and saw the best thing he had ever seen. Guns. Tons of them. He started to pick the lock when Milhouse came running in.
"People are coming!" He said quietly though with force.
"Can you recognize who?" Bart asked.
"It happens to be Chief Wiggum!" He replied.
"Hide behind that cabinet and I'll close the door." Bart ran over to the door and softly closed the door. Chief Wiggum walked toward them and stopped and turned to his side. He looked inside the Gun-Mart though didn't see anyone. Then he walked on looking in every store window. It was his usual nighttime store checkup.
"That was close." Milhouse said. Then Bart walked over to the cabinet on the right full of guns.
"I'll take the M6. Milhouse what gun do you want?"
"Uhhh… I'll take a 44 Magnum and hold the unions."
"Would you like that with silk." Bart asked laughing. They both started cracking up. "Well we still have a job to do. Let's go!"
"Hey Bart, What is a M6?"
"It's a gun that shoots out grenades. The grenades are tiny but explode big time. It can shoot 6 grenades per second."
"Wow. Can I use that when you're done with it?"
"No."
"Can… Lenny borrow it?" Milhouse asked.
"No. Only I can use it." They started walking toward the door.
"Wait! Bart! There's something I'm forgetting!"
"What?"
"My hat!" Milhouse walked over to the table and picked up an old baseball hat. They continued out the door and heading in the direction of the school.
Bart, with Joe still in his head, walked with Milhouse to the school where Mr.Skinner was validating tardy slips. They were wearing black and edging along the school grounds slowly.
"Wait, Bart. What is our attack weapon going to be?" asked Milhouse.
"Oh yeah. I forgot about that. I'll have to break into the gun store." Replied Bart. They hurried off the school grounds and down "Gun Lane." Bart walked up to a store called Gun-Mart.
"You know how to pick a lock, Milhouse?" Bart asked Milhouse.
"Well…" He replied,
"Never mind. I'll do it myself."
"I can though." Milhouse blurted.
" Then you do it. I can't waste my strength picking locks when I have to pull triggers."
"Well, now that you mention it. I shouldn't waste my str…"
"You can't do it, can ya?" Bart said, "That's what I thought. I'll pick the lock while you stand guard." Bart told Milhouse.
. While Bart looked for a pin or something of that sort, Milhouse said, " Bart, I don't think this is such a good idea."
"What's the matter Milhouse? Chicken?" Bart said in a sly voice.
"I'll stand" Milhouse said in a squeaky voice. Then in a lower, deeper voice he said, I'll stand guard."
"You do you that."
Bart finally picked the lock and got the door open. They went inside to see what they wanted to see for a long time. They were in a gun store (full of guns) and all to themselves. They could steal and not be caught. Milhouse started to walk inside but Bart said, "Wait!"
"What? Who? Why?" Milhouse yelled.
"Don't you know that all these gun stores have laser security systems?" Bart said quietly.
"And you should try keeping it down. Someone might hear us."
"Oh yeah. What are we going to do?"
"Well it's what I'm going to do. I watched this movie where this guy was robbing stores and he could get past laser security systems. Well, cigarette smoke will make all lasers appear. It's really cool." Bart grinned. He knew his plan would work.
"Cool." Bart took out a cigarette and lit it. He took one puff. Then let the smoke come out of his mouth. The lasers appeared near the doorway, crisscrossing. The lasers were only around the feet so they could easily step over them.
Bart walked over to the glass case and saw the best thing he had ever seen. Guns. Tons of them. He started to pick the lock when Milhouse came running in.
"People are coming!" He said quietly though with force.
"Can you recognize who?" Bart asked.
"It happens to be Chief Wiggum!" He replied.
"Hide behind that cabinet and I'll close the door." Bart ran over to the door and softly closed the door. Chief Wiggum walked toward them and stopped and turned to his side. He looked inside the Gun-Mart though didn't see anyone. Then he walked on looking in every store window. It was his usual nighttime store checkup.
"That was close." Milhouse said. Then Bart walked over to the cabinet on the right full of guns.
"I'll take the M6. Milhouse what gun do you want?"
"Uhhh… I'll take a 44 Magnum and hold the unions."
"Would you like that with silk." Bart asked laughing. They both started cracking up. "Well we still have a job to do. Let's go!"
"Hey Bart, What is a M6?"
"It's a gun that shoots out grenades. The grenades are tiny but explode big time. It can shoot 6 grenades per second."
"Wow. Can I use that when you're done with it?"
"No."
"Can… Lenny borrow it?" Milhouse asked.
"No. Only I can use it." They started walking toward the door.
"Wait! Bart! There's something I'm forgetting!"
"What?"
"My hat!" Milhouse walked over to the table and picked up an old baseball hat. They continued out the door and heading in the direction of the school.