DISCLAIMER – I do not own any of these characters, they all belong to
Tamora Pierce. Ok? Capiche? You get it? Good. Oh, and I didn't come up with
the "Big Brother" idea, k?
A/N – This is my first humour fic, so please be nice. I started this when I was in a writer's block from chapter nineteen, just to "cool off". Dunno if I'll post it. But anyway…
1 TORTALLAN BIG BROTHER
Hello, one and all! Welcome to Tortallan's first series of Big Brother!!
First, let's introduce the housemates:
Sir/Lady Alanna, King's Champion, Baroness of Pirate's Swoop, heir to Barony Olau! (god that's long)
King Jonathan!
Sir Keladry of Mindelan!
Veraldaine Sarrasri, Wildmage of Tortall!
(from the Realms of the Dead) Duke Roger of Conte!
Sir Nealan of Queenscove!
Neal: its Neal, damnit! Neal! Not Nealan – NEVER Nealan!
Numair Salmalin, (uh, what is he again?), Mage (that'll do) of Tortall!
(From life imprisonment), Delia of Eldorne!
Alanna: "Does she really have to come in?
ME: YES! Don't argue with me, or I'll kick you out.
Alanna: Humph!
Sir Cleon of Kennan!
Baron of Pirate's Swoop, George Cooper!
(Also from the Realms of the Dead), Joren of Stone Mountain!
Dom of Queenscove!
And, last of all, Queen Thayet of Tortall!
Thayet: Why was I last?!
Me: Because you just are.
Thayet: But –
Me: NO!
Thayet: But –
Me: NO!
Thayet: But –
Me: Shut up! Where was I? Oh, yes, and, so now I've introduced the housemates, they will enter the house!
*Conversation as the 13 contestants wait to enter the house*
Thayet: Do they have nail files in the house? What house are we actually living in? Does it have servants in there? Are we supposed to wait on ourselves?!?
Alanna: Oh, Thayet, you've seen worse in Scanra.
Thayet: But it's not Scanra here! I've learnt to be a queen! To take pride in my looks!
*Alanna snorts*
Jon: come, now, my lovely wife, everything will be alright!
Thayet (pouting): it better be.
Cleon (to Kel): So, my dove, the house awaits!
Kel: Yeah, I guess.
Cleon: Why so blue, sunshine of my life?
Neal: Do you have to be so annoying Cleon?
Cleon (bristles up and sticks his chest out): I am not annoying, thankyou Nealan!
Neal: It's NEAL! Neal, not Nealan! Neal, Neal, Neal!!
Kel: Wow, Neal, calm down!
Neal: Well it annoys me when I get called Nealan.
Dom: I just call him Meathead. (Shrugs)
Delia: Could we get out of the 426 era please?! (A/N – I can't remember the year Kel and her friends lived in my friend has the books)
Alanna: Lady Delia, please grace us by shutting up.
Delia: Speak for yourself Lady Alanna (by the way "Lady" is italicised if you can't see it)
Roger: Enough with this petty bickering.
Delia (kneeling): Yes, whatever you say master!
Me: Alright, it's time for you to enter the house!!!!!
Stay tuned for Day One in the Big Brother house!!!
~*~
You like? I promise it'll get better when Day One is written. But anyway…
~*~kaz~*~
oh PS I'm commentator and Big Brother, ok?
A/N – This is my first humour fic, so please be nice. I started this when I was in a writer's block from chapter nineteen, just to "cool off". Dunno if I'll post it. But anyway…
1 TORTALLAN BIG BROTHER
Hello, one and all! Welcome to Tortallan's first series of Big Brother!!
First, let's introduce the housemates:
Sir/Lady Alanna, King's Champion, Baroness of Pirate's Swoop, heir to Barony Olau! (god that's long)
King Jonathan!
Sir Keladry of Mindelan!
Veraldaine Sarrasri, Wildmage of Tortall!
(from the Realms of the Dead) Duke Roger of Conte!
Sir Nealan of Queenscove!
Neal: its Neal, damnit! Neal! Not Nealan – NEVER Nealan!
Numair Salmalin, (uh, what is he again?), Mage (that'll do) of Tortall!
(From life imprisonment), Delia of Eldorne!
Alanna: "Does she really have to come in?
ME: YES! Don't argue with me, or I'll kick you out.
Alanna: Humph!
Sir Cleon of Kennan!
Baron of Pirate's Swoop, George Cooper!
(Also from the Realms of the Dead), Joren of Stone Mountain!
Dom of Queenscove!
And, last of all, Queen Thayet of Tortall!
Thayet: Why was I last?!
Me: Because you just are.
Thayet: But –
Me: NO!
Thayet: But –
Me: NO!
Thayet: But –
Me: Shut up! Where was I? Oh, yes, and, so now I've introduced the housemates, they will enter the house!
*Conversation as the 13 contestants wait to enter the house*
Thayet: Do they have nail files in the house? What house are we actually living in? Does it have servants in there? Are we supposed to wait on ourselves?!?
Alanna: Oh, Thayet, you've seen worse in Scanra.
Thayet: But it's not Scanra here! I've learnt to be a queen! To take pride in my looks!
*Alanna snorts*
Jon: come, now, my lovely wife, everything will be alright!
Thayet (pouting): it better be.
Cleon (to Kel): So, my dove, the house awaits!
Kel: Yeah, I guess.
Cleon: Why so blue, sunshine of my life?
Neal: Do you have to be so annoying Cleon?
Cleon (bristles up and sticks his chest out): I am not annoying, thankyou Nealan!
Neal: It's NEAL! Neal, not Nealan! Neal, Neal, Neal!!
Kel: Wow, Neal, calm down!
Neal: Well it annoys me when I get called Nealan.
Dom: I just call him Meathead. (Shrugs)
Delia: Could we get out of the 426 era please?! (A/N – I can't remember the year Kel and her friends lived in my friend has the books)
Alanna: Lady Delia, please grace us by shutting up.
Delia: Speak for yourself Lady Alanna (by the way "Lady" is italicised if you can't see it)
Roger: Enough with this petty bickering.
Delia (kneeling): Yes, whatever you say master!
Me: Alright, it's time for you to enter the house!!!!!
Stay tuned for Day One in the Big Brother house!!!
~*~
You like? I promise it'll get better when Day One is written. But anyway…
~*~kaz~*~
oh PS I'm commentator and Big Brother, ok?