Filia: Sometimes Theres More
By Lady Cailin
I sigh, watching as Val beats his small wings wildly, raising in the air with an excited gurgle. He had only just begun to learn to use his wings, but it wouldn't be long before he would be fluttering around my small shop. He was growing up so fast. Who would have thought that just a year ago he was trying to destroy the world. I smile at the thought. It still seems strange to me, that this laughing child could be the reborn Valgaav. How can those bright eyes be the same ones that looking into mine as he tried to end it all. I still find myself crying for that man he had been at night. Crying for the anguish in his eyes, the dark cry of his soul that shattered through us all at the last moment. The pain my race had caused the day they destroyed his people.
I reach out and take my son in my arms, holding him close as he laughs in triumph at his short flight. My son, thats what he is now. He isn't an ancient or a masuko in my eyes, although at times I can sense the power of both in him. He's just my son, my little Val. I know I will never be able to take back the pain Valgaav had to live through. The blood my people spilled will never wash away, but maybe. . .
If I can give Val the life he should have had, the happiness he deserves, then just maybe I can heal those terrible wounds on Valgaav's soul. Maybe that will be enough to keep me from crying at night. Maybe then I wont feel this terrible guilt that claws at me whenever I look into his aqua eyes. Maybe then I can find redemption.
I smile down at Val as he wiggles in a demand to be put down. As soon as he hits the floor he begins to crawl off, eager to explore the new shop. I have finally managed to make enough to open the second end of my business, my tea shop. I turn back to the list of different teas I have to order for my grand opening, but not before another thought strikes me.
I have a son.
I admit that as a Priestess of the Fire Dragon King I never expected to have children, and after I left. . .I didn't really have time to think about what I would do with my life after the quest, I only wanted to make sure their would be an after. I like it though, and to be honest I wouldn't mind having another child someday. The only problem is. . .well I haven't met anyone I've had any strong emotions for.
Well there is Xellos, he can bring out so many strong emotions in me. Rage, hate, frustration. Those aren't love though. I could never feel anything possibly resembling love for Xellos. He is an evil masuko who has nearly gotten me killed countless times and. . .and. . .
And why do I blush when he teases me like he's always doing? Why did he save me in the cave? Why does he continue to visit me even after all this time? It's true that we all try to meet when we can, and Miss Lina and Mister Gourry come to visit whenever they are passing through, but it's that naginami I see the most. . .
What is between us? There is the natural competitiveness and the almost constant fighting, but sometimes I see more in his smile. . .sometimes theres. . .theres . . .companionship.
I shake my head a dismiss the thought. Companionship springs most often from loneliness and I'm not lonely. I have Val and Jiras and the shop. . .And even if I was lonely then that would have to mean that Xellos visits me either out of pity or his own loneliness. The idea of Xellos being lonely was almost as ludicrous as the idea of him finding it in his black little heart to pity me!
I sigh as I hear that special gurgle from Val that announces Xellos' presence better than even my dragon's senses can. I glance into the back room from my seat at the counter. Two smiling faces look back at me and I find myself shaken. . .because sometimes I see more in his smile.
By Lady Cailin
I sigh, watching as Val beats his small wings wildly, raising in the air with an excited gurgle. He had only just begun to learn to use his wings, but it wouldn't be long before he would be fluttering around my small shop. He was growing up so fast. Who would have thought that just a year ago he was trying to destroy the world. I smile at the thought. It still seems strange to me, that this laughing child could be the reborn Valgaav. How can those bright eyes be the same ones that looking into mine as he tried to end it all. I still find myself crying for that man he had been at night. Crying for the anguish in his eyes, the dark cry of his soul that shattered through us all at the last moment. The pain my race had caused the day they destroyed his people.
I reach out and take my son in my arms, holding him close as he laughs in triumph at his short flight. My son, thats what he is now. He isn't an ancient or a masuko in my eyes, although at times I can sense the power of both in him. He's just my son, my little Val. I know I will never be able to take back the pain Valgaav had to live through. The blood my people spilled will never wash away, but maybe. . .
If I can give Val the life he should have had, the happiness he deserves, then just maybe I can heal those terrible wounds on Valgaav's soul. Maybe that will be enough to keep me from crying at night. Maybe then I wont feel this terrible guilt that claws at me whenever I look into his aqua eyes. Maybe then I can find redemption.
I smile down at Val as he wiggles in a demand to be put down. As soon as he hits the floor he begins to crawl off, eager to explore the new shop. I have finally managed to make enough to open the second end of my business, my tea shop. I turn back to the list of different teas I have to order for my grand opening, but not before another thought strikes me.
I have a son.
I admit that as a Priestess of the Fire Dragon King I never expected to have children, and after I left. . .I didn't really have time to think about what I would do with my life after the quest, I only wanted to make sure their would be an after. I like it though, and to be honest I wouldn't mind having another child someday. The only problem is. . .well I haven't met anyone I've had any strong emotions for.
Well there is Xellos, he can bring out so many strong emotions in me. Rage, hate, frustration. Those aren't love though. I could never feel anything possibly resembling love for Xellos. He is an evil masuko who has nearly gotten me killed countless times and. . .and. . .
And why do I blush when he teases me like he's always doing? Why did he save me in the cave? Why does he continue to visit me even after all this time? It's true that we all try to meet when we can, and Miss Lina and Mister Gourry come to visit whenever they are passing through, but it's that naginami I see the most. . .
What is between us? There is the natural competitiveness and the almost constant fighting, but sometimes I see more in his smile. . .sometimes theres. . .theres . . .companionship.
I shake my head a dismiss the thought. Companionship springs most often from loneliness and I'm not lonely. I have Val and Jiras and the shop. . .And even if I was lonely then that would have to mean that Xellos visits me either out of pity or his own loneliness. The idea of Xellos being lonely was almost as ludicrous as the idea of him finding it in his black little heart to pity me!
I sigh as I hear that special gurgle from Val that announces Xellos' presence better than even my dragon's senses can. I glance into the back room from my seat at the counter. Two smiling faces look back at me and I find myself shaken. . .because sometimes I see more in his smile.