"Scars"

A/N: Yeah intros are continuing to get even shorter. Just sorta seems to be a thing that happens when I write intros, so whatever. Everly is probably the most personality-focused (as opposed to backstory-focused) out of the entire cast though, so I think her personality still shines through even though this intro is shorter than a lot of the others. Also this is 4 months late so I can't afford to wait too much longer to post this lol. It may be shorter, but I still really love how this chapter turned out and absolutely adore Everly, so I hope y'all enjoy!

~I don't wanna know who I am

'Cause heaven only knows what I'll find

I don't wanna know I'm not capable of coming out alive

I don't wanna see what's inside

I think that I would rather be blind

I don't wanna know I'm not capable, I'm capable~

Everly Amata, 18

The creaking of metal echoes throughout the empty room. The chain swings idly, back and forth, the punching bag hanging loosely, dust still hanging in the air leaving powdered trails of motion. My fists are clenched, raw and red and with tape covering the still fresh wounds on the knuckles, evidence of their reopening staining the tape and soaking through so that it's not only sweat that's slick on my hands. A handful of weapons are scattered about the room, a few daggers stuck into sand bags, arrows dotting a dummy's vitals organs, a longsword left laying on the hardwood floor.

Just one more day.

The creaking fades away into silence, the bag still. Blood is trickling out from underneath the tape, and so I reroll the makeshift bandage, yanking tightly on the fresh layer and squeezing until there isn't a single crack for the stream of red to escape through. I pound my fists together. My feet shift in place, aggressively posing myself, fists clenched and ready.

Again.

My fists move on their own accord, thoughtless and instinctual, rhythmically beating into the bag like a stick to a drum. One more day. The news came not all that long ago that I was chosen. The confirmation was a release, relief flooding over me that it wasn't all for nothing. Everything since then has felt surreal. No more having to watch my back for other cadets and what they might try to do to me. Just the wait for that moment of escape. Of honor. Of purpose. Of pride or of glory or something far greater or smaller. Of something, not that I know or understand it. There's that burning fire inside of me, that need to do this that turns any doubt or second guessing to ash before it even formulates in my gut, much less turns into thought.

The question has never been if, but why has been something taking up more and more of my thoughts as the clock keeps ticking down. I have my reasons, I could list them out and feel confidence swelling within me as I state them one by one. I imagine the question being asked at the interview, and watch myself answering a half-dozen different ways.

To bring honor to my district. As an opportunity for me and that broken thing with my dad called a relationship, to mend or to separate or maybe both or neither. To cut myself free. Because it's all there is, all there ever has been. It's for glory, it's for escape, and it's for fear.

I grunt with effort as I shoulder all my weight into my fist, slamming against the bag and watching it go swinging. But it doesn't snap off the chain, my fist doesn't punch a hole into the leather. It sways away, then swings right back, and as it bumps into me I stumble a half-step backwards.

.~.~.~

The pain that shoots in my back is all-encompassing, ripples of seizing pain that turns my legs to jelly and makes my bottom limbs bend forward. There's words too, but there's no focus on that, just the pain. Only the pain. That's all it is. The belt ripping across bare flesh, tearing gashes and lashes and peeling off bits of skin. I can't hear the words, so I wonder why I so clearly remember the sound of dripping blood on carpet.

.~.~.~

Phantom pain echoes across the ribs of my spine, and I step back from the still-swinging punching bag, catching my hand as it instinctively goes to my back and holding it still. I shake my head, banging the sides of my fists against my temple. Stupid.

I circle the room, picking up my scattered weapons and returning them to where they belong on the grand rack of weapons that lines the wall. I save the longsword for last, swinging it in my hands one last time before gently setting it back into place.

The sun is nearly gone, and in the late afternoon a few lazy rays of light are filtering in through the windows, drawing dusty rectangles on the gym floor. I trace my finger against the shape, and almost catching myself smiling as I linger by the exit, my hand hovering over the light switch.

My hand drops down to my side, and light streams into my eyes, sparkling and blinding me as my fingers flip the switch and I watch the lights fade, steel curtains descending to block out the outside world. I turn and walk away, the metal door slamming shut behind me.

The general use gymnasium is more bustling than my private training room, cadets all circled around workout equipment, huddled over meals on bleachers, fiercely sparring on mats while trainers observe with pen and pad, sprawled across benches and laughing.

It feels foreign just watching it, like a world existing right on top of mine and beside me yet still distant and out of reach, beyond understanding. I can't even imagine it, laughing with the girl who's a few spots below you on the rankings, knowing that they'd do anything to climb that one spot higher. Letting them spot you while you bench press, sparring against them with live steel and trusting that if they win they'll set the sword down and give you a hand up instead of driving the blade downwards. It makes my skin crawl.

"Everly!" Jules catches sight of me from across the room and hurries over, an easy smile beneath her wide hazel eyes that seem as if they're shimmering as the harsh fluorescent light fixtures bounce off her irises. Her dark brown hair is knotted back in a ponytail that matches my own, yanking her hair clear of her face, the only exposed skin that's uncovered by the jet black outfits that mark the academy trainers. Boots and gloves tucked into the sleeves nearly cover every inch of them, and Jules is one of the only trainers without a hat and shades to hide them even further.

She plants herself right in front of me, looking expectant as I freeze in place, something tugging at the ends of my lips, twitching in my jaw as I stare back at her with a blank expression. "Jules." My voice is dry, my water bottle sucked free of its last drop long ago.

"You been practicing all day then?" She asks, leaning against the wall and flashing a smirk.

"Yes." I fiddle with the wrappings around my knuckles, focusing my gaze on them as my eyes flutter around every one of my surroundings that isn't her.

"I feel bad for anyone who has to fight you in that arena, can't remember the last time I've seen a fighter like you." She smiles cheekily. "Scary stuff."

"Yeah." I wince as I tighten the tape around my knuckles.

We both stand in silence for a while, me continuing to pull on the tape even as it refuses to go any tighter while she looks at me with some sort of look that I don't understand.

"What is it?" She finally asks, her smile dropping as it's exchanged for an exasperated sigh.

"What?" I ask her, my voice coming out quiet and breathless.

"You did it. You're volunteering tomorrow. I just-" She cuts herself off, her mouth contorting as if she's grasping for the words. "I expected you to be happy for once maybe."

"Sorry." I lower my head and turn to walk away.

"No, don't, I-" She takes a step towards me, starts to reach out, and when I instinctually pull away we both stop, frozen still with her hand reaching outwards as I recoil from it. She sighs, bringing her hand up to her temple. "No, I'm sorry. I just want to see you smile a bit. I thought that this is what you wanted. It is what you want, isn't it?"

I swallow a lump in my throat, eyes glued to my shoes as I nod my head. "Of course it is."

She takes a hesitant step toward me, then when I don't back away, another step. "Then why do you still look like you're in pain?"

I hold up the back of my hands, showing her the bloodied bandages. "I have more I can show you if you want."

She winces. "You know that's not what I mean."

I sling my bag higher up on my shoulder, my voice calm and devoid. "Then I don't know what you mean."

"I just-" She sighs, and she takes another small step forward that has me clamping down on my foot, forcing myself to not squirm away. "You're going into that arena a week from now, and I know you're more ready than anyone I've ever seen, and I know that you know that. But I can still tell just looking at you that you don't know that you're going to win, and I just don't get how you can be anything but a-hundred-percent sure that you're going to go in there and win."

"I'm going to win," I say, and I try to muster as much confidence into those four words as I can. For honor, for glory, for my district or for me or for him, whatever it needs to be in order for those words to be said with my chest puffed and my brain quiet, no nagging disagreements or arguments.

She hardly looks any more convinced, but she smiles all the same, the type of smile that someone would accompany with the words oh, honey. "I believe you." She says. She takes another step, and my heart skips a beat, but I keep myself from backing away. "I just hope you do too."

Jules is close now, so close that I could lift my hand and reach out and the air would give way to her. My throat has been dry for hours now but I suddenly feel so much more aware of that feeling. I try to swallow the saliva in my mouth but my throat is blocked shut, as if my heart is pounding so hard, so loudly, that it's expanded all the way into my throat and sealed it closed. My palms are sweating, and my feet tingle with nervous energy that work on barely held back instinct, fighting against me and attempting to turn and run, or at least backpedal away, far enough so that I could hold out that longsword of mine and the tip would still be touching nothing but air.

"Or at least, I hope you realize that real soon," she says softly. "Maybe when you come back home, I can see you smiling for once?" She smiles sadly, and I'm not sure if she's asking a question or not.

My fingers are curling and uncurling anxiously by my side, sweat coating my palms along with dust and dried blood. My limbs feel stiff and locked, like weights have been tied near my elbows, dragging them down and cutting the circulation away from my hands so that my blood goes cold even while my skin blazes with heat from those painfully bright fluorescent lights.

For a moment, it's like the sea of pressure collapsing all around me has parted, lifting so that my limbs are free and the overbearing weight is lifted, my limbs light and my feet able to balance on their toes. I reach out, awkwardly and clunkily and too quickly, my hand clasping around hers for a moment and squeezing. She looks up at me, surprised but not in a bad way, a different sort of smile forming on her lips. I can feel something tugging at my own lips, and almost answer her question, but that primal reaction holds back, my face twitching back to a neutral expression as I hastily drop her hand and bring mine back.

I look away, and my feet follow my eyes, turning my back to her and taking a few steps without knowing where I'm being led.

"Where are you going?" She calls out, her voice calm and masked behind an unreadable, or at least not understandable, voice.

I clench my fists, lowering my head as I pause for a moment. "I'm gonna get some more training in," I say stiffly. My feet move back into action, forwards and backwards to the empty training room. "I have to be ready."

A/N: And there's Everly! Thank you so much to Ali for this absolutely stunning character, she's such an amazing career with so many unique aspects to her that I can't wait to continue to unravel in more explicit detail as she starts interacting with the rest of the pack. Like I said earlier, she's probably the most personality-focused of our characters and so I'm super excited to dive more into Everly once the pre-games begin. Big thanks again to Ali for an awesome character to round out our career pack. With her addition we've now met the entire pack, and I'm hype to start showing their amazing dynamic in the coming chapters once intros are wrapped up with Vesta next chapter!

I hope y'all enjoyed this chapter, and I'll hopefully not take 3 and a half months to give y'all Vesta's intro. I actually have a new format gimmick idea for her intro so unlike Everly's intro I won't waste 3 months tryna figure out a new intro format only to just give up after coming up with 0 ideas lol.

Trivia: Now that the career pack has been fully introduced (aside from Pierre I guess) what are the interactions/relationships that you're most interested in seeing?