Say Huh? Karaoke II Chapter 4: THE WHEEL OF CERTAIN EMBARRASSMENT, a wrestling fanfic

Say Huh? Karaoke II
THE WHEEL OF CERTAIN EMBARRASSMENT

Disclaimer: Revert to chapters one and two. Also, the song "I'm A Genie in A Bottle" belongs to those Christina Aguilera people. The song "I Want Your Sex" belongs to George Michael.

Author's Note: I will go Hell. Most definitely.

--*

-The SHOWGIRLS push out a large multicolored wheel, much like THE WHEEL OF ALMOST DEATH ™, except this one has dares written on the little blocky-things!-

JADYN: Welcome back. It's time for…THE WHEEL OF CERTAIN EMBARRASSMENT!

AUDIENCE: Gasp!

SHOWGIRLS: Gasp!

CHRIS JERICHO: Gasp!

ROCK: Gasp!

ZIM: Gasp!

GIR: Gasp!

SNAPE: Gasp!

KITTEN: Gasp!

PIERRE, THE FRENCH MAN: Le gasp!

JASPER, THE AUSTRALIAN MAN: Gasp, mate!

BUCKBEARD, THE PIRATE: Ahoy matey, gasp!

ELIZABETH, THE BRITISH WOMAN: Pip pip cheerio and all that rubbish, gasp!

PACO, THE SPANIARD: Ay yay yay, gasp!

EIN, THE DOG (who magically popped in): Bark bark, gasp!

SHELLY: Mooooo.

JADYN: Okay then. Anyway, you spin this wheel and you have to do whatever it says. If you do it better than your opponent, than you win this…

MAN'S VOICE DUBBED OVER: Used band-aid.

JADYN: Okay, Chris, you go first.

-CHRIS JERICHO spins the wheel-

JADYN: Okay, the wheel has landed on "SCRAPE FISH SCALES INTO YOUR PANTS WHILE SINGING CHRISTINA AGUILERA"

CHRIS JERICHO: What? No!

JADYN: Okay, then I guess Rock will win…

CHRIS JERICHO: Fine! Give me the fish!

-JADYN hands him a large, slightly rotting fish. It smells. Can you not smell the fish?!-

CHRIS JERICHO: Eww. Okay, here goes…

It feels like I been locked up tight for a century of lonely nights,

Waiting for someone to release me…

(CHRIS'S pants are beginning to fill with fish scales…)

You're licking your lips and blowin' kisses my way,

But that don't mean I'm gonna give it away,

Baby baby baby

(KITTEN screams "Work it! Work it!")

Oh oh oh

My body's sayin' let's go

Oh oh oh

But my heart is sayin' no

(JADYN helpfully empties a tin of anchovies down the back of his pants)

If you wanna be with me

Baby, there's a price to pay.

I'm a genie in a bottle

You gotta rub me the right way

If you wanna be with me,

I can make your wish come true.

Just come and set me free, baby

And I'll be with you

I'm a genie in a bottle, baby

Gotta rub me the right way, honey

I'm a genie in a bottle, baby

Come come come on and let me out

(TAJIRI-KUN begins to sniff the anchovies…)

The music's fadin', the light's down low,

Just one more dance and then we're good to go

Waitin' for someone who needs me

(TAJIRI-KUN bites down)

Hormones racin' at the speed of light,

But that don't mean it's gotta be tonight

Baby baby baby

(JADYN gives him a sombrero - which she takes the liberty of putting on his head)

Oh oh oh

My body's sayin' let's go

Oh oh oh

But my heart is sayin' no

(Oops! Was that cooking oil on the floor?)

(SHELLY licks his cheek)

I'm a genie in a bottle, baby
You gotta rub me the right way, honey
I'm a genie in a bottle, baby
Come come come on and let me out

I'm a genie in a bottle, baby
You gotta rub me the right way, honey
I'm a genie in a bottle, baby
Come come come on and let me out

(SHELLY does a sacrificial dance around him)

Oh oh oh

My body's sayin' let's go

Oh oh oh

But my heart is sayin' no

(KITTEN is sitting on the sombrero)

(SHELLY has tied CHRIS JERICHO to a pole. The fish has been forgotten.)

If you wanna be with me
Baby, there's a price to pay
I'm a genie in a bottle
You gotta rub me the right way.
If you wanna be with me,
I can make your wish come true.
Just come and set me free baby
And I'll be with you

I'm a genie in a bottle baby
Come come come on and let me out

JADYN: Well, that was great! Judges, what do you think?

ZIM: Eight.

SNAPE: Five.

KITTEN: Ten.

JADYN: Okay, that makes Chris's score…-counts on her fingers- forty-five! Rocky, your turn!

-ROCK spins the wheel very hard, hoping to land on something not-so-bad…-

JADYN: Okay, Rock, the wheel has landed on "WRESTLE BROCK LESNAR WHILE SINGING GEORGE MICHAEL'S "I WANT YOUR SEX""

-ROCK collapses. JADYN revives him-

JADYN: Come on out, Brock!

-BROCK LESNAR comes out, ready to wrestle the first person he sees. This is because we kept him in a small cage for three weeks-

JADYN: Ready, Rock? Go!

ROCK: Oh, so much love that you've never seen

Let's make love, put your trust in me

(BROCK and ROCK begin to wrestle)

Don't listen to what they told you

Because I love you

Let me hold you

Oh

(BROCK clotheslines ROCK)

I'm not your father

I'm not your brother

Oh, will you ever change your mind?

I'm a gentle lover with a heart of gold

But, baby, you've been so unkind

Oh

(BROCK pins ROCK for a two-count)

Come on,

I want your sex

Come on, I want your sex

That's right, all night

Oh, I want your sex

I want your… sex

(BROCK does an inverted spine-buster)

Sexy babies (sexy babies)

Sexy body (sexy body)

Keeps me guessin'

With a promise

(ROCK rock-bottoms BROCK)

I know we can come together,

But the question is,

Will we ever?

(ROCK pins BROCK 1… 2 … 3!)

Together - you and me

JADYN: Woohoo! And the winner is…Rock!

CHRIS JERICHO: Hey!

JADYN: I meant of the match. Judges?

ZIM: Eight.

GIR: wOOt!

SNAPE: Seven.

KITTEN: Ten.

SHELLY: Let's make biscuits!

JADYN: That makes Rock's score…fifty! This makes Rock the winner! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!!!

CHRIS JERICHO: Oh, no, you don't, assclown!

JADYN: Hold on, Mr. Jericho, there's a runner-up prize.

-JADYN whispers in his ear. CHRIS'S eyes grow wide-

CHRIS JERICHO: 'Kay! Meet ya there!

KITTEN: Hey, you stole my man, bee-yatch!

JADYN: Heh heh. Here ya go, Rocky. Here's your

MAN'S VOICE DUBBED OVER: Used band-aid.

JADYN: Gotta go!

KITTEN: Come back here, you man-stealing ho!

SNAPE: I'm going back to Hogwarts.

ZIM: Finally! I can take over! Mwuhahahahaha!

GIR: I miss my cupcakes.

SHELLY: P-O-R-N-O, P-O-R-N-O, P-O-R-N-O and Bingo was his name-o…

SHOWGIRLS: We're goin' back to Vegas!

-Join us next time!-