Loyalties

Chapter two: Drunken magic

   Obi-Wan wandered around the Temple. It had been almost three hours that he'd spent meditating, and he felt calm again. Next time, he thought, I will not lose my temper like that. He found himself in the same nightclub again, at the same table, watching the young ones dance. He smiled in spite of himself. He used to be a good dancer. Someone- blond, handsome, invisible- walked over and asked him to dance, and he accepted. It was time to start over.

   Anakin yawned and opened his eyes, mildly surprised to find grass tickling his cheek. Why am I asleep out here? he questioned groggily before remembering what had just happened. He smiled. He'd found the solution. No more trying to deal with his feelings for Obi-Wan, no more mourning over his mother, just hating. Hating whatever he felt like hating, and not giving a Xenu's spleen to what happened afterwards. I'm not hurting anyone, so what's the problem? His smile grew broader as he got up and decided to go find Obi-Wan. He had some apologizing to do. But before that, thought Anakin, I have to find something to say about what I'm hiding from him. A simple lie won't do; it has to be detailed, so that he'll fall for it. Anakin walked off into the night, looking for his Master and thinking.

   Obi-Wan downed his fifth drink that night. He grimaced as the sharp alcohol bit his tongue, but stopped when someone far more appetizing did. He felt good. Here there was no judgement, only friends, and beautiful people. He was drunk enough not to be able to tell whether he was dancing with a man or a woman, but he didn't really care who he was dancing with. The point remained that he/she was there, and that he/she loved him. I'm still a good dancer, he reflected happily. He was passed around like a favourite toy, and his mind registered giddily that they all wanted a piece of the incredible Jedi Master.

    And he was giving a hell of a lot more then a piece to a few of these beautiful people. He still had a few moves from his supposed golden age, and he had just liquor in his system to accept when one of them suggested that they take it to a corner. Man, woman, human-he still didn't know.

   This, he thought, is the life.

   Anakin went to his favourite nightclub to get something to eat. This place charged a hefty amount of credits, but it was worth it. He walked up to the bar and took a seat, waiting for his Mon Calamari friend to finish pouring someone else's drink.

   "Hello, Anakin. The usual?"

   "Yeah…and a Sopora drink."

   " Bad day, huh?"

   "You have no idea. First, my Master tells me that he-"

   "Here's your drink, sir," said Malai to someone who'd just staggered up to the bar. She held up a salmon-pink hand, indicating for Anakin to pause while she tended to a customer. Anakin could smell the stench of liquor on the man who'd ordered the drink and he wrinkled his nose. Just some useless drunk. He noticed the drink that Byth gave him and raised an eyebrow. A useless drunk with a large pocketbook.

   "Thanks, Byth…you're an angel. Has anyone ever told you how beautiful you are?"

   Anakin's back stiffened. He knew that voice. He turned around, but he knew who the person was before he saw him.

   "Master, what in the name of the Sith are you doing here?"

   "Ani! Come dance with me!"

   It took a remarkable bit of composure on Anakin's part to refuse this offer, but his accursed conscience was telling him that this was wrong. "You're drunk, aren't you?"

  "Had a little bit to drink, maybe, but I'm not drunk! Now come dance with me!" Obi-Wan sat down on the stool next to Anakin's and pouted, showing off his considerably full lips. He crossed his arms and sat there looking like an overgrown child for almost ten minutes until Anakin thought of a compromise.

   "If I dance with you for one dance, do you promise you'll go home with me?"

   "You are a very, very, very mean little boy, Ani…I don't wanna go home…Oh, fine! Fine… I promise I'll go home if you dance with me! Are you happy now?"

   Obi-Wan pulled Anakin off the stool and pushed him into the crowd. Anakin felt uncomfortable by the heat of so many bodies gyrating around him, and he noted with a small smile that it didn't seem to bother his Master at all. Obi-Wan must have been passed around quite a bit before he became a Master.

   Obi-Wan giggled and blew a kiss to someone behind them taking the classic 'I'm with someone' position by grabbing Anakin's arm. For Anakin, it wasn't disagreeable, to say the least. He's drunk, he's drunk, Anakin said to himself. I can't take advantage of him. It would be wrong, and I'll hate myself forever for it. His Master pulled him up against his own body and pinched him in a squirmy spot. On the other hand, thought Anakin, I'll only hate myself for a few weeks if I let him take advantage of me.

   Anakin let his Master lead. The two of them went surprisingly well together. Absentmindedly Anakin noted that the others around them had quit dancing to watch them, but he was too busy concentrating to care. They stopped when the song did, and smiled at the clapping and cheering that they received from the crowd.

   Despite it all, Anakin felt sad. The song was over. Now they were going to go home, and Obi-Wan would fall asleep, wake up badly hung over, and that would be the end of it. No more magic, no more dancing, this was the end. In the few seconds that Anakin's attention had been averted, he saw his Master looking cozy with a young female in a tight silver pantsuit. He rolled his eyes and pulled his Master away, shaking his head slightly at Obi-Wan's sudden promiscuity. He's very drunk, observed Anakin.

    He ignored his Master's small babblings as they strode out of the nightclub to focus on his own misery. If only I wasn't his Padawan, maybe it could have worked…

   "Why you so sad, Ani?" he turned to look at his Master, with his messy hair, flushed face and big, shiny eyes. He looked like an overgrown child who had spent too much time playing. Which, in a sense, was true.

   "Nothing, Master. Let's go home."

    His Master sat down on the dirty ground in an alley and pouted. " I'm not going."

    "Yes, you are."

    "Don't wanna."

    "You promised…"

    "Sometimes I lie!"

    "Master, stop it!"

    "You're being a grumpy-head! You need to get laid!"

    "That's more a part of the problem than you might realise! You can't just-"

   But he was cut off by Obi-Wan, who yanked him down by the collar and kissed him. After about thirty seconds, Anakin could identify every one of the drinks his Master had that evening. That was no small accomplishment, considering the number of different drinks. He tried to pull himself back up, but Obi-Wan used his weight to pull Anakin back down with him.

    Anakin had resolved not to let Obi-Wan's tongue in his mouth, but the resolve broke quickly. Two things to know about Obi-Wan Kenobi: He was relentless and was damn well not shy.

    So they made out. In a filthy alley, with a womp rat crawling up Anakin's leg and a stone digging into Obi-Wan's back. It was a good while before Anakin got his senses together and managed to gather the strength to throw his Master off, but he enjoyed it for a minute longer. Then, he did what any good Padawan would do, and pushed his Master off.

    "Happy now?" asked Obi-Wan gloatingly. He damn well knew from Anakin's response that he was happy now. Obi-Wan settled back into the ally, coyly spreading his arms – and his legs, too – in silent invitation.

   Anakin gathered his willpower. That did him no good; even his willpower wanted to jump his Master's bones. So instead he thought of Yoda. Envisioning the small Jedi Master helped calm him down somewhat. And some calculus homework he had waiting for him. Calm, completely unsexy thoughts.

   "Master, let's go home. Don't be difficult."

   "But I don't wanna!"

    Anakin sighed. He had hoped it wouldn't come to this. He picked his Master up and slung him over his shoulder, looking for an air-taxi. He could fly his own speeder, but he had a feeling that speed was the last thing Obi-Wan needed, on top of all else. He found one easily enough and got in, dragging his Master with him.

    After a half an hour spent trying to keep Obi-Wan in his seat, they were finally home. He threw his Master on his bed and looked for some fresh robes, hoping to get the awful smoky smell out of the ones he was wearing.

    After his quick jump in the fresher, he none-too-gently suggested that his Master have one as well. He pushed his Master in with clean robes and a towel, walked to his room, and sat down on his bed to think. He found he couldn't think rationally. He had a strange vision of the alley, and then a broken white stone. This filled him with fear, and though he did not know why, he was relieved when his Master stepped back into the room.

   His Master stepped out of the shower, shaking his head to dry his hair. It stuck to his face in a most delectable way. I'm just going to lean over, brush it away, and- No! Bad thoughts, bad thoughts! Anakin held his head in his hands, feeling like an idiot. Why could he not control his emotions like the other Padawans could? I'm a failure to the Jedi order, he mused. Damned Jedi order. What's the point of having a stupid Jedi order if no one follows it? He swallowed the thought when he heard the soft brush of robes and felt the comforting weight against his leg.

   His Master was studying him with a frown. He seemed less drunk now that he was clean. Anakin averted his gaze. He suddenly found his boots amazing.

"Your Padawan braid is fuzzy, Anakin. Let me fix it for you."

   Anakin smiled a relieved smile. His Master was saying normal Padawan/Master stuff again. He sat on the floor with his Master on his sleep-couch like they always had, except for the few years when Anakin was so short that he had to sit on Obi-Wan's lap.

   He felt his Master run his fingers through his hair, the callused pads massaging the delicate skin of his scalp. His Master had always made it a point to let Anakin know just how much he loved his hair. He unbraided the thin, crimped-wavy strand of hair and brushed it through, and braided it again with quick, deft fingers, smoothing it over so as to prevent wisps. For a second Anakin forgot what had happened between them, but only for a second. When his Master was done, they both stalled, not quite knowing what to do. Eventually Anakin got off the floor and took his place on the sleep-couch. They sat there silently for a while, neither of them willing to start the discussion.

   Anakin leaned over to brush an imaginary piece of lint off his Master's robes. This seemed to be encouragement enough for Obi-Wan, who leaned over and pressed his mouth against Anakin's.

   This is wrong, reflected Anakin. Shut up! A part of his brain told him, and he listened.

   A raw passion exploded between them. Their two selves seemed to meld into one, their heartbeat synchronized, their breathing shared. It was hard and sweet and delicious and perfect…and wrong. So perfectly, insidiously wrong. This could destroy them both if anyone found out.

   That was part of what made it so sweet.

   None of this was going through Anakin's head just then. There was no thought, there was just do. And so he did. It was Anakin who leaned over first, and with shaking fingers, opened his Master's top and savoured at the sweet softness of the skin he found. He licked and touched and kissed and caressed, encouraged by the small noises Obi-Wan made from above him. It was that moment that would haunt him later- the discovery of his Master as a man, not as a Jedi. It was a picture frozen into his mind, timeless, with his Master's moans, the moonlight falling across them, Obi-Wan's fingers pulling his hair, himself between his Master's legs and a million other things that he could remember but not describe on that on fateful night when they saw the truth of one another. Soon Anakin became restless and stripped his Master bare, and that was when the truth really came out… literally and figuratively.

   They were insatiable; there was just so much that they had to do. It was bright outside when they finally fell into a deep, exhausted slumber. Anakin lay in the crook of his Master's arm, spent, satisfied and sticky, and smiled a darkly content smile before he drifted off.

   Anakin squinted and rolled over. He cursed quietly for not closing the curtains before he fell asleep. He felt fingers playing with his hair and snuggled against his Master happily. Master? thought Anakin, alarmed. Oh, no. What the hell-

Anakin struggled to cover himself with a blanket before he felt his Master's hand stop him. At his Master's touch, the whole night came back to him in a flash, leaving him even more willing to get something over his naked body. Why on earth did I let him- he was drunk- Oh, Sith.

   "Relax, Anakin. It's a bit late for modesty."

   "Master, what the hell did we do last night?"

   "We had some fun."

   "You're not angry?"

    "Ani, why would I be angry? I'm a big boy; I think I can make my own decisions now."

   "But it- we- it-"

   Obi-Wan rolled over and looked at Anakin. Anakin squirmed. His Master had beautiful eyes-eyes that he could drown in if he wasn't careful. "I don't think you hated it all that much, Anakin. I apologise on my behalf, I was drunk and it was unfair to take advantage of you, but I promise that I will keep control of myself from now-"

    Anakin jammed his lips against Obi-Wan's to stop him from making another accursed promise that Anakin didn't want to hear. "No," he whispered against his Master's mouth, "you most certainly not, Obi-Wan Kenobi."

   Obi-Wan looked at his Padawan, surprised that even Anakin would have the courage to do such a bold thing. He saw the shimmering, twisting flame of lust in those dark eyes, and for a second it scared him. There was a longing

in his Padawan's eyes that he had never seen before. Anakin could have anything-anything-his heart desired if he wanted it badly enough.

He had already proven it with his Master.

But it was only for a second, and then he gave in to Anakin. We're going to be late for lunch, mused Obi-Wan as he grabbed his Padawan and pulled him down to the sleep-couch.

   Much later, after a shower, some time with Anakin and another shower, Obi-Wan found himself in Mace Windu's company. They went to a deserted garden and walked around, catching up on recent Temple-related stuff. They sat down and Obi-Wan winced. Thanks to Anakin, he was going to be sore for a while yet. Mace turned around and looked at him before breaking into a delighted grin.

   "You had sex, didn't you?" he said accusingly, poking Obi-Wan on the arm to emphasize his point.

   "Yes…How did you find out? I took a shower…"

   "Well, you have that goofy smile on your face, and the shower did you no good because I can smell him on you." Mace's eyes widened slightly. "Anakin?"

   "Shh! Yes! My Padawan fucked me, and fucked me good! I'm a disgusting old man! You've discovered me!"

   "I can't believe he finally told you. Yoda and I had figured it out a while ago, and we were just waiting for you to find out as well. Damn, you are slow, aren't you?"

   "Told me what?"

   "Didn't he- if you two already had- you don't know?"

   "No! Tell me! You and Master Yoda had already figured out that…"

   "Anakin loves you. More than that, he's in love with you. It's been this way for a long time now, Obi-Wan, my dear idiot of a friend!" Mace drawled, taking a bite of an apple.

   Obi-Wan felt as if he'd just been slapped across the face, and other unmentionable places. I have been slapped in other unmentionable places, he thought, happily remembering. No- back to the point. How could he not have seen it? He thought that these few days had simply been driven by lust, but now that he remembered it, he could feel Anakin's love pouring over him like a wave. It astounded him that this boy could be capable of such a powerful love. It was hot, enigmatic, a swirling fog of emotion that revealed no more than Anakin wished it to reveal. It was unlike anything Obi-Wan had seen before in its sheer inexplicability and power. He sat down and cradled his face in his hands, wondering how he could have been such a bumbling idiot.

   "I know," said Mace quietly, resting his hand on Obi-Wan's shoulder, "that you must be confused. One thing to remember, Obi-Wan: you're playing with fire; watch that you don't burn yourself. And don't let that fire spread where it can hurt people. If your Padawan is really the one who will bring balance to the Force, you have to be very careful not to tip him in the wrong direction, or he just might fall. It would be a dark day if Anakin turned."

   "Why does everybody say that he's going to turn? He won't turn! He's a good kid!"

   "That may be, but you overlook the fact that he is powerful. You feel that love, that passion he's showing you right now? Right now, it isn't hurting anybody. But think what he could do with it…"

  Obi-Wan shuddered as a cold vision ran through his mind. No way that could happen to my Ani, he thought. There is just no way. But still…"I will be careful, Mace."

   "That's all I ask."

**

   Anakin whistled happily as he wandered down the corridor to a poetry class. He felt a contradiction of emotions; anger, satisfaction, happiness, but over it all a thirst for more. Now that he knew what he had been missing for so long, he was not about to give it up easily. He smiled. Obi-Wan would be his, he would see to that.

**

    Obi-Wan had no idea what he was to do now. He was walking in one of the Jedi gardens, having left Mace a few minutes ago. He loved being with Anakin. His passion was contagious, intoxicating. Obi-Wan could feel an absence from not having any of it, and it had only been a few hours since they had last- explored. The only love Obi-Wan had ever felt that could compare was Qui-Gon…Qui-Gon! Obi-wan stood up and started pacing restlessly. Have I  forgotten my Master so quickly? Obi-Wan felt tears prickling his eyes. We had such a beautiful relationship for three years and I'm comparing it to this…this twisted, lustful game I'm playing? How can I stand touching anyone after I promised that there would be no one after you, Master? "I'm so sorry, Master. I've- I've cheated on you," he choked out amidst sobs. It would seem strange that he was making promises to his dead Master, but no one saw him, so no one cared.

   Obi-Wan realised that he had to stop playing this game with Anakin. It was destroying him…and yet he did not want to let go.

   "So this is what they call tainted love," said Obi-Wan hollowly. He laughed, and he sound echoed mockingly back at him. It seemed to ring in his head, and he could not take it. Slowly, he reached for the brandy on the table behind him. "Jedi don't cry, Obi-Wan. Jedi don't cry."

 He raised the bottle to his lips and took a deep draught. And another. And yet another, as he tried to forget about Anakin.

But it wasn't quite as easy as that.

**

Obi-Wan turns to alcohol for comfort…bad sign. What will he do- leave Anakin? Does he dare, after what Mace told him? This is starting to sound like a soap opera…Tell me what you think about my fanfic so far in a review.

I will post chapter three on Monday.

Read and review!

Here are my notes to those who reviewed chapter one:

Celestia Vitaria: Thank you for the flattery. Anakin should remember who saved him, but he is, after all, a teenager.

Don't mind me: I hope my e-mail cleared things up. I'm sorry you don't like serious slash, but I posted a clear warning, and if you chose to read it, I guess you don't hate the idea so much after all. And I would like to add that as I am Canadian, I don't know my IQ, and don't care either.

JulesK: Well, if you hate the idea of an evil Anakin, you might not want to see EP III, because it will be all about an evil Anakin. I don't think I made him too evil, he's just a naughty fifteen-year-old.

SaraC: Thanks! Here's more! I'm glad you like my story. I thought it was a little too melodramatic, but if people like it, I guess it's ok.