Author's note: Some system or another does not want to support html, so stage directions or whichever are in //'s, word emphasises are in **'s.
Author's feeble request: Please R/R!!!
Disclaimer: Loki and Bartleby were created by Kevin Smith. I am not Kevin Smith. Thank you.
R for language
***
Another morning dawned on the fine city of Boston, Massachusetts, and the sunlight oozed into Bartleby's sparsely furnished bedroom. He opened one eye and squinted at the floor. No Loki. With a contented sigh, he burrowed back under the covers and promptly fell asleep again.
No more than three minutes later, he was awakened by an earthquake. Or so he thought. Yelping like a dog who had just had their tail trodden on by a mean child, he leapt from his bed, eyes squeezed shut and hands hugging his head.
And the room stilled once more. Slowly Bartleby dropped his hands, and looked up.
Loki was kneeling in the middle of Bartleby's queen-sized bed, dressed in light-blue pajamas patterned with happy white bunnies, grinning like it was Christmas morning. Bartleby checked his day calendar. It was not. A good thing, considering he hadn't gone shopping and Loki was quite insatiable when it came to presents.
"What the fuck do you want?" the Grigori said moodily, flouncing on the bed and pushing Loki out of the way. Loki, on his knees, promptly lost his balance and fell off the bed with a resounding thud and a loud cry of "Fuck!"
Bartleby laughed to himself as Loki's head appeared over the edge again, and the Angel of Death stood up and brushed lint particles off his bunny pajamas. "Do you know what today is?"
"No. Let's keep it that way." Bartleby irritably flipped his friend the bird and crawled under the covers again. He wasn't *that* much awake that he couldn't get back to sleep.
"Come *on*," Loki said. "You wake me up at fucking seven in the morning and drag me to the fucking airport so you can watch people make out like some fucking peeping tom, but when I wake you up the *one time*, you flip me off."
"Yes, I did. Unless this is a matter of fucking life and death, I don't care."
"It could be," Loki said with a pout.
"I doubt it," Bartleby mumbled into his pillow. "We're angels. We're neither living or dead."
"I'm well fucking aware of that," Loki said, rolling his eyes and jumping on the bed again. Bartleby rolled over and glared at the other angel. "*Do* you mind?" he said.
"I can wait all day."
"I'm sure you can. Don't you have cartoons or something to watch?"
"They can wait for a few hours."
"What the fuck time *is* it?"
"Aren't you going to ask me what I'm so damn excited about?" Loki pressed.
"Will you go away if I do?"
"For a few hours."
Bartleby sighed. "All right, all right. What the fuck are you so excited about."
"Today is the release of the new Superstation Cube!" Loki said gleefully.
Bartleby stared. "Come again?"
This time it was Loki who sighed. "Don't you *read*? The Superstation Cube is the first system being released by the Slapcom company." He waited a beat, but got no response. "The new video game company?"
"Why does this matter?"
"Because it's fun and new and I want one."
"*Why*?"
"This coming from the guy who owns over two million different pogs."
"Need I remind you about that library of Pokemon cards you own?" Bartleby shot back.
"You have Power Ranger action figures in your closet," Loki answered.
"You carried around three Tamagotchis."
"You did the Macarena. For a fucking *year* after it went out of style because you were convinced it'd be back!"
"You owned Furbies!"
Loki looked around desperately, jumped to his feet, pointed at Bartleby, and shrieked, "YOU HAD BARBIES IN YOUR CLOSET!"
"DAMMIT!" Bartleby yelled, punching the mattress. "Fine. It's not like we're doing anything today *anyway*--"
"'Cause you got us fired," Loki said gleefully.
"--Watch yourself--we'll go down to the mall and buy your damn Super-duper-lame-box-whatever-thing. But we're getting rid of the Coleco! There just isn't enough room."
"Fuck no!" Loki yelled. "That's classic!"
"You have to get rid of something," Bartleby called over his shoulder as he shuffled to the bathroom.
"Say goodbye to Malibu Barbie then!"
***FIN***
Author's feeble request: Please R/R!!!
Disclaimer: Loki and Bartleby were created by Kevin Smith. I am not Kevin Smith. Thank you.
R for language
***
Another morning dawned on the fine city of Boston, Massachusetts, and the sunlight oozed into Bartleby's sparsely furnished bedroom. He opened one eye and squinted at the floor. No Loki. With a contented sigh, he burrowed back under the covers and promptly fell asleep again.
No more than three minutes later, he was awakened by an earthquake. Or so he thought. Yelping like a dog who had just had their tail trodden on by a mean child, he leapt from his bed, eyes squeezed shut and hands hugging his head.
And the room stilled once more. Slowly Bartleby dropped his hands, and looked up.
Loki was kneeling in the middle of Bartleby's queen-sized bed, dressed in light-blue pajamas patterned with happy white bunnies, grinning like it was Christmas morning. Bartleby checked his day calendar. It was not. A good thing, considering he hadn't gone shopping and Loki was quite insatiable when it came to presents.
"What the fuck do you want?" the Grigori said moodily, flouncing on the bed and pushing Loki out of the way. Loki, on his knees, promptly lost his balance and fell off the bed with a resounding thud and a loud cry of "Fuck!"
Bartleby laughed to himself as Loki's head appeared over the edge again, and the Angel of Death stood up and brushed lint particles off his bunny pajamas. "Do you know what today is?"
"No. Let's keep it that way." Bartleby irritably flipped his friend the bird and crawled under the covers again. He wasn't *that* much awake that he couldn't get back to sleep.
"Come *on*," Loki said. "You wake me up at fucking seven in the morning and drag me to the fucking airport so you can watch people make out like some fucking peeping tom, but when I wake you up the *one time*, you flip me off."
"Yes, I did. Unless this is a matter of fucking life and death, I don't care."
"It could be," Loki said with a pout.
"I doubt it," Bartleby mumbled into his pillow. "We're angels. We're neither living or dead."
"I'm well fucking aware of that," Loki said, rolling his eyes and jumping on the bed again. Bartleby rolled over and glared at the other angel. "*Do* you mind?" he said.
"I can wait all day."
"I'm sure you can. Don't you have cartoons or something to watch?"
"They can wait for a few hours."
"What the fuck time *is* it?"
"Aren't you going to ask me what I'm so damn excited about?" Loki pressed.
"Will you go away if I do?"
"For a few hours."
Bartleby sighed. "All right, all right. What the fuck are you so excited about."
"Today is the release of the new Superstation Cube!" Loki said gleefully.
Bartleby stared. "Come again?"
This time it was Loki who sighed. "Don't you *read*? The Superstation Cube is the first system being released by the Slapcom company." He waited a beat, but got no response. "The new video game company?"
"Why does this matter?"
"Because it's fun and new and I want one."
"*Why*?"
"This coming from the guy who owns over two million different pogs."
"Need I remind you about that library of Pokemon cards you own?" Bartleby shot back.
"You have Power Ranger action figures in your closet," Loki answered.
"You carried around three Tamagotchis."
"You did the Macarena. For a fucking *year* after it went out of style because you were convinced it'd be back!"
"You owned Furbies!"
Loki looked around desperately, jumped to his feet, pointed at Bartleby, and shrieked, "YOU HAD BARBIES IN YOUR CLOSET!"
"DAMMIT!" Bartleby yelled, punching the mattress. "Fine. It's not like we're doing anything today *anyway*--"
"'Cause you got us fired," Loki said gleefully.
"--Watch yourself--we'll go down to the mall and buy your damn Super-duper-lame-box-whatever-thing. But we're getting rid of the Coleco! There just isn't enough room."
"Fuck no!" Loki yelled. "That's classic!"
"You have to get rid of something," Bartleby called over his shoulder as he shuffled to the bathroom.
"Say goodbye to Malibu Barbie then!"
***FIN***