Author's opening message: And yet another chapter! When does the madness end? -NV22
Author's note: Some system or another does not want to support html, so stage directions or whichever are in //'s, word emphasises are in **'s.
Author's feeble request: Please R/R!!!
Disclaimer: Loki and Bartleby were created by Kevin Smith. I am not Kevin Smith. Thank you.
R for language
***
Up above --and by 'above', of course, we mean *way* above, in a little place we like to think of as Heaven, Paradise, etc.-- an ever-patient deity and her surly right-hand seraphim were watching the pair of bumbling would-be angels wandering around the streets of Boston, getting into mischief in ways only they could.
"This is ridiculous," the Voice said with extreme distaste. "We should just send them to Hell, you know. Yesterday, Loki pretended Supermart was Gomorrah. He rained down sulfur in aisle five because he wanted to see if the popcorn would pop."
"Did it?" God asked, and Metatron glared.
"Yes," he said deliberately, "it did. The snack aisle was next to the frozen foods aisle, and everything there melted, which flooded out the fire, but left everything in ruins. Your soft spot for those two will be the destruction of the world as we know it, honestly. It already almost was once."
"You know, I created you to be a subordinate, not a wiseass. So watch yourself."
Metatron sighed deeply. "All right, all right, don't overload your circuitry. What do you propose we do for their next endeavor? They haven't been successful thus far, what with the taller one's violent streak."
"I was thinking we'd enlist some...'outside' help..."
***
//The setting: a bustling city street. Four men are walking down, talking amongst themselves. As they step closer into frame, we see that they are in fact Loki, Bartleby, Rufus, and Azrael. Loki suddenly stops dead in his tracks, eyes alighting on something on the ground. He stoops, and as the others turn to watch, rises to his feet, triumphantly clutching a dollar bill.//
//LOKI: Hey! A dollar!//
//AZRAEL: What are you so happy about? It's just a buck.//
//BARTLEBY: He's got the brain of a singular celled organism, that's why.//
//RUFUS: You know, you can buy a lot with a dollar.//
//AZRAEL: Like hell you can. (beat) Get it?//
//LOKI (to himself): I think I'll get some gum.//
//Loki stares at the dollar as if it holds the secrets to the universe.//
//RUFUS (flashing the camera a fake smile): You can use 10-10-220. All calls up to a minute are only a dollar, and only 20 cents each minute after that.//
//BARTLEBY: You can also take that dollar home and save it, you know. (He's ignored.)//
//AZRAEL: 'Cause I'm *from* hell?//
//Rufus hits him, still wearing the fake smile.//
//RUFUS: Shut up. 10-10-220--//
//No one's paying attention to him. Azrael looks pissed and lunges for Loki's dollar, who puts up a fight by smacking the demon repeatedly in the face. Bartleby is gazing off to the side.//
//BARTLEBY: You know, I have thirty-seven dollars and sixty-three cents in change at home.//
//Azrael and Loki are now each grabbing onto the bill with one hand, having a girly slapping fight with their respective free hands. It's quite pathetic.//
//AZRAEL: Gimme the damn dollar, you stupid angel!//
//LOKI: Get off! That's my gum allowance!//
//Bartleby sees this, dives between the two and tries to hold them apart.//
//RUFUS (desperately): Ten...ten...//
//Loki wails as Azrael gives him an Indian burn.//
//RUFUS: Twenty? I...oh...oh, shit, I give up.//
//Rufus walks off. The dollar rips in two, and Azrael falls backwards, hitting the sidewalk painfully. Loki, rubbing his sore arm, laughs through his pain. Bartleby sighs irritably.//
//BARTLEBY: I'm going to go count my pennies.//
//Fade out.//
***
Back in Heaven...
Metatron shook his head. "Could you make me human? I want to die now."
***FIN***
Author's note: Some system or another does not want to support html, so stage directions or whichever are in //'s, word emphasises are in **'s.
Author's feeble request: Please R/R!!!
Disclaimer: Loki and Bartleby were created by Kevin Smith. I am not Kevin Smith. Thank you.
R for language
***
Up above --and by 'above', of course, we mean *way* above, in a little place we like to think of as Heaven, Paradise, etc.-- an ever-patient deity and her surly right-hand seraphim were watching the pair of bumbling would-be angels wandering around the streets of Boston, getting into mischief in ways only they could.
"This is ridiculous," the Voice said with extreme distaste. "We should just send them to Hell, you know. Yesterday, Loki pretended Supermart was Gomorrah. He rained down sulfur in aisle five because he wanted to see if the popcorn would pop."
"Did it?" God asked, and Metatron glared.
"Yes," he said deliberately, "it did. The snack aisle was next to the frozen foods aisle, and everything there melted, which flooded out the fire, but left everything in ruins. Your soft spot for those two will be the destruction of the world as we know it, honestly. It already almost was once."
"You know, I created you to be a subordinate, not a wiseass. So watch yourself."
Metatron sighed deeply. "All right, all right, don't overload your circuitry. What do you propose we do for their next endeavor? They haven't been successful thus far, what with the taller one's violent streak."
"I was thinking we'd enlist some...'outside' help..."
***
//The setting: a bustling city street. Four men are walking down, talking amongst themselves. As they step closer into frame, we see that they are in fact Loki, Bartleby, Rufus, and Azrael. Loki suddenly stops dead in his tracks, eyes alighting on something on the ground. He stoops, and as the others turn to watch, rises to his feet, triumphantly clutching a dollar bill.//
//LOKI: Hey! A dollar!//
//AZRAEL: What are you so happy about? It's just a buck.//
//BARTLEBY: He's got the brain of a singular celled organism, that's why.//
//RUFUS: You know, you can buy a lot with a dollar.//
//AZRAEL: Like hell you can. (beat) Get it?//
//LOKI (to himself): I think I'll get some gum.//
//Loki stares at the dollar as if it holds the secrets to the universe.//
//RUFUS (flashing the camera a fake smile): You can use 10-10-220. All calls up to a minute are only a dollar, and only 20 cents each minute after that.//
//BARTLEBY: You can also take that dollar home and save it, you know. (He's ignored.)//
//AZRAEL: 'Cause I'm *from* hell?//
//Rufus hits him, still wearing the fake smile.//
//RUFUS: Shut up. 10-10-220--//
//No one's paying attention to him. Azrael looks pissed and lunges for Loki's dollar, who puts up a fight by smacking the demon repeatedly in the face. Bartleby is gazing off to the side.//
//BARTLEBY: You know, I have thirty-seven dollars and sixty-three cents in change at home.//
//Azrael and Loki are now each grabbing onto the bill with one hand, having a girly slapping fight with their respective free hands. It's quite pathetic.//
//AZRAEL: Gimme the damn dollar, you stupid angel!//
//LOKI: Get off! That's my gum allowance!//
//Bartleby sees this, dives between the two and tries to hold them apart.//
//RUFUS (desperately): Ten...ten...//
//Loki wails as Azrael gives him an Indian burn.//
//RUFUS: Twenty? I...oh...oh, shit, I give up.//
//Rufus walks off. The dollar rips in two, and Azrael falls backwards, hitting the sidewalk painfully. Loki, rubbing his sore arm, laughs through his pain. Bartleby sighs irritably.//
//BARTLEBY: I'm going to go count my pennies.//
//Fade out.//
***
Back in Heaven...
Metatron shook his head. "Could you make me human? I want to die now."
***FIN***