A/N:
To Raven, it's fiction, and I doubt that child has EVER been hit, so spanking
her might just result in a lawsuit. Peace!
Just at that very moment another chicken strutted into the mine, and on its leg
was the golden ring.
"How many chickens are in this place?" asked Gandalf as Haley wandered behind
him. "I think I'll just turn her back, less hassle."
"Or, you could just kill her, take the ring and leave," said Patty
sarcastically. Christine agreed, but they almost got their asses kicked by Nicki's
glare, and her exerting physical force might not be something they'd ever want
to see. As they made their way through the mines they came across a Balrog.
"Kitty!" Haley squealed and ran to it.
"HOW MANY TIMES WILL YOU MAKE ME SAY 'DAMNIT', DAMNIT?!" Gandalf screamed as he
ran after her.
The Balrog reached for Haley and she screamed a scream that will never be
matched. The "kitty" was startled and fell as Gandalf reached them. He hugged
her and she shrieked again. The old wizard was so startled that he fell of the
cliff into darkness.
"DAMNIT!" Everyone yelled to honor the old bastard. Then they all ran for their
lives even thought there was nothing to run from, it just seemed appropriate.
They found themselves outside, and Lauren went to talk to the Hobbits.
'What is she doing talking to my Hobbits?' thought Christine. "Hey slag!"
"OOOOO, what the hell did you call me, slag?" yelled Lauren in a fury of anger.
"You heard me you dirty slag."
"You are the slaggiest of all slags." yelled Lauren. By this time they had
collapsed in a fit of laughter.
During all of this, the other members of the Fellowship of the Petulant
Three-Year-Old were deep in thought…
'Damn, Meghan is one FINE human. Her ears are so pointy. She must be an elf!
She's far too beautiful to be mortal!' Legolas was thinking.
'How dare Legolas gaze longingly at Meghan! She's mortal! She's MINE!' Aragorn
thought.
'How dare the two of them look at Meghan that way? She's a lady and
deserves—whoa! Nice buns, sweetie!' thought Boromir.
Patty, who could tell what they were thinking from the looks on their faces and
the drool on the floor, thought, "Damn, too much slaggish behavior…"
After catching the others staring at 'his girl' Legolas went after them. "You
stupid men! SHE'S MINE!"
"Never! She's mine! She'll never love you, you prissy nitwit!" Aragorn yelled
at him.
"The thought of a such a beautiful creature loving either of you is ludicrous!"
Boromir screamed.
The three of them proceeded to beat the living shit out of each other as Meghan
filed her nails on a nearby rock.
"SLAG!" They yelled back and forth. Upon hearing this Christine and Lauren got
pissed.
"WE STARTED THE SLAG FIGHT, DAMNIT! YOU COPYCAT FREAKS!" The two girls jumped
into the brawl.
Meanwhile, Meghan was making out with Frodo behind a bush…
A/N: Yes, we know that Meghan was originally screwing Gimli, but Meghan got a lil' miffed at us! So now it's her and Frodo making out, k?