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titleLetters From Home 3/? "Ai Shiteru"/title
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BRBTitle: Letters From Home 3/? "Ai Shiteru"
BR Author: Oriana Maxwell/B
BR
BR*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
P"Fuck!" Duo searched frantically through the piles of paper on his desk, a forgotten sucker hanging out of the corner of his mouth. "Where is it?!" //I put it here last Friday, I know I did!// "Hey, Wufei, get your ass in here and help me look for something!"/P
PIn the next room, Wufei dragged himself out of bed and staggered into Duo's office/kitchen/crash space. "What?" He mumbled sleepily./P
P"Where is it?!"/P
P"Where is what?"/P
P"That letter!"/P
PThe Chinese boy blinked in recognition. "Ohm, you mean the one addressed to Yuy. I thought you forgot to send it, so I did it for you."/P
P"You didn't."/P
P"You mean you weren't going to send whatever it was you wrote? That's weak, Maxwell."/P
PDuo shook his head, running a shaky hand through his messy hair and then pointing towards the door. "I need to be alone for a little while, okay Wu-man?"/P
PHe shrugged and left the room, supposedly headed for the nearest grocery store -- they were running low on food supplies./P
PAfter Wufei had gone, Duo's legs gave out and he sat down on the floor, hard. "Oh crap, that letter wasn't supposed to be sent... I've got a hundred like it in the desk drawer... I was gonna burn them tomorrow, try to forget about that bastard... now he's going to come after me, and he's gonna hate me for the rest of his life. All I wanted was to be near him... now he isn't even gonna let me do that..." He whispered brokenly to himself, his head falling to rest on his knees. "Maybe... maybe I should just..."/P
PThe doorbell rang, and Duo struggled to his feet, brushing aside the suicidal thoughts for a moment. He opened the door a crack, peering cautiously outside. Even in Preventer headquarters, old habits never died. "Yeah, who is it?"/P
PA timid young woman backed away slightly, holding out a neatly folded envelope that had way too many stamps on it. "You have mail, Mr. Maxwell..." She mentioned nervously as he reached out and took it, face paling when he recognized the handwriting and the return address. "Mr. Maxwell? Are you all right?"/P
PHe nodded briskly, placing some small bills in the palm of her hand and closing the door. Once alone again, he turned the letter over and over in his hands, studying every nuance, every aspect of the handwriting presented to him before he realized that this was the real thing, no forgery involved./P
P//To open, or not to open... that is the question. If I open it, I know. If I don't open it, I'll always wonder what was in the letter... same repercussions for both, though. Both choices could cause the same results.///P
PDuo made his decision, slitting the top of the envelope with practiced skill. He read the letter inside, his hands shaking so badly he thought he would drop the thin paper. /P
PIDear Duo... /P
P...wanted something of you to carry with me...I wanted you with me ...If there's one thing in my life that I regret, it's not telling you how I felt...feel, still./P
P...love your personality and your laughter, they way the room lights up for me when you walk in... /P
P...you're beautiful, absolutely, amazingly beautiful, and I love you all the more for it.../P
P ...Baka, if I had no feelings, would I be writing this letter to you? Kami-sama, words cannot express how sorry I am.../P
P...I know what would make me happy now-- It's you, for you to live. I don't know what I would do without you, without merely knowing that you existed in this world and universe. You are everything to me.../P
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PWith unashamed love, Heero Yuy...I/P
BR
PDuo let out a strangled gasp, his mouth working but unable to utter any words for the time being. Finally, he made it past the lump in his throat. "He...he wants me to live. I finally know what will make him happy." As he read further, his mouth dropped open in amazement. "He.. he loves me?! Oh, Kami-sama! He loves me!"/P
BR
PIDear Heero,/P
PYou'll never have to expect the worst again. I promise to you, just like you asked - I promise never to try to kill myself again. Your letter saved me, Heero. I was about to...y'know. And then the doorbell rang, and there was a letter from you./P
PI hope you aren't mad, and frankly, I don't blame you if you are, because there was stuff in that letter I never meant for ANYONE to see. Hell, I have a whole stack like them that I never sent to you; I was going to burn them. However, I guess fate (AKA Chang Wufei) intervened, because it was sent against my will... I don't regret having you know that I love you, though. You don't know how good it feels to know you feel the same way...or, maybe, you do./P
PI'm not the one that's beautiful, though... you are. And don't you dare deny it! I can see you denying it through the ink... see, now you're smirking, that annoying one where you pull up one corner of your mouth just the tiniest little bit...gotcha, ne Hee-chan? I hope I can see it in person again someday, be in the same room with you like you said in your letter. You did mean that, right? I mean, you weren't joking or anything?/P
PSo... now that I've got the mushy stuff out of the way... What are you doing these days? I'm rooming with Wufei at Preventers HQ , doing some work for them about all of those terrorist attacks that have been popping up. And NO, it's not that kind of rooming, you hentai. Haha, see? I HAVE picked up on some of your language. No more babbling in Japanese for you now, 'cause Duo can understand you! Oh, look! Now you're amazed because I actually sat down and studied something for once! Well, I guess I have changed in the past year or so since I saw you. You probably have too. That doesn't matter to me, though; I'll still love you./P
PI'ved changed a lot, actually. Remember Shinigami? He's all but gone now, only pops up when I get really pissed off. Then, it's time to run for cover, as some of my co-workers have learned. I never will forget the coffee incident. You should have seen the look on Lady Une's face when I accidentally broke her glasses... it wasn't my fault though, honest! I had spilled some coffee on the floor, and was cleaning it up when she walked in and...slipped. Yeah, that's right, she slipped! ^_^/P
PI've also...I guess you would call it matured... a bit. I understand now why my talking annoyed you so much, and why you never wanted me to touch you. It wasn't the mission, it was me. Maybe I'm feeling some delusions of importance here...but then again, maybe not./P
PSo, you're going to come see me now, right? Where are you anyways? Well, actually, Wufei must have known your address, so I'll just ask him before I mail this. That makes sense. See, I'm not the total idiot I used to be. Still slightly a flighty, demented, chatterbox... but not all the time. I do have my moments. Thanks for giving me this chance to show you./P
PAi shiteru, Heero./P
BR
BR~Duo Maxwell.
BR
BR
BR~TBC~
BR*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
BRFeedback and C & C is very much appreciated!!! Please email me at BeckyBast@aol.com
BR
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