As the "men" fought each other over the privilege of calling Meghan their own, she was making out with Frodo in a bush.  Sam and Patty wandered their innocent way over to the bush and screamed at what they found.

"MR. FRODO?!"

"MEGHAN?!"

In the meantime, Christine had pulled Legolas away from the fighting to ask an important question the had been plaguing her mind.

"Is that a mini skirt?"

His face turned bright red. "It is not a mini skirt and ELVEN HAIR DOES NOT TANGLE!" He yelled, pointing a finger at Lauren.

"Hey!  I didn't say anything!" She complained.

"BUT YOU THOUGHT IT!" The angry elf screamed. 

Lauren just shrugged and muttered, "I didn't know elven males could have PMS…" before walking away.

Both Frodo and Meghan hadn't noticed their observers until Lauren came up behind them.  She cleared her throat a few times waiting for Frodo to dislodge his tongue from it's activity.  Lauren didn't have to wait long because Christine and Legolas walked up too.

"NOOO!!!" he screamed and ripped Frodo up from his position next to Meghan. "I'M  GOING TO KILL YOU, YOU THREE-FOOT MORON!  MEGHAN IS MIIIIINE!" Boromir and Aragorn looked up from beating the other's face in and lunged for Frodo when his 'betrayal' to them registered in their brains.  The four of them started yet another brawl while Meghan sat on a nearby rock fixing her hair.

Lauren whipped out a rope from behind her and lasso-ed the tallest three, leaving the hobbit ample time to run away screaming bloody murder.  "Baaaad!  Didn't your mother's ever teach you NOT to pick on people smaller than you?  Now if you'll excuse me, I think Patty and Sam have gone into a state of shock so I must bring them back to reality and explain a few things…"  She put an arm around each one of them and walked off a bit for a chat.

"I'm soooo cooo-uhl!!  Meghan wuuuunts Leggy and Gandy!  Ooo la la!  Wauren is ah hobbeet!" Haley yelled at the top of her lungs.  All action ceased as they looked to her, Merry, and Pippin.

"I didn't think the hobbit weed would have that bad of an effect!  Honest!" Pippin explained hastily as Haley danced around in circles following her "pooty wooty bugs" with a joint in her mouth. 

Merry who also had smoked a bit started to sing. "Fishin' around with nothing to do…" causing the lasso-ed men to squirm in their restraints. Once they were free they proceeded to pummel Merry's head into the ground along with all memories of that damn song.

Meghan ran up and pulled them apart. "You almost killed the cute one!" The faces of the men dropped, but the hobbit strutted off happily.

Lauren came back from her 'birds and the bees' chat with Sam and Patty.  She wandered off again to find Frodo, leaving the dumb-struck two behind.

"People DO that?!" They asked incredulously.  When Aragorn rubbed his forehead and nodded they screamed "EEEEEWWWWWWWW!!!"

After Sam and Patty emerged from their state of shock, the Fellowship of the Petulant Three-Year-Old left on their way to Lothlorien.