Lullabies and Nightmares
Part 3
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When my fist clenches,
crack it open
Before I use it and lose my cool
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Once again, the infamous pop machine had eaten his change. Angrily, he punched the button for a Coke continuous with no results. Finally, his frustration reaching a peak, he kicked the machine so hard that several of the patients in the chairs nearby turned to stare at the crazy man fighting with the pop machine.
"Damn son of a..." He began cursing. He was just about to find the paddles to shock the machine into submission when he felt a hand on his shoulder.
"Easy Carter. What did it do to you?" He turned to see Abby Lockhart staring back at him. He caught his breathe and fought to regain his composure.
"Damn machine." He continued, only calmer this time. "You know it never worked for me in eight years." Abby smiled wryly, but averted her eyes from his.
"They can invent machines to take the place of the human heart, yet they can't find a way to make a pop machine work right." She joked. Taking out a couple of quarters she inserted them into the slot.
Minutes later the machine spit out a Diet Coke for her. Carter just looked stunned.
"What can I say? I have the touch." She replied to his silent question.
'That you do.' He thought, but restrained himself from saying it. Abby didn't like him in that way. She'd made that perfectly clear. So why couldn't he accept that?
"Carter? Earth the Carter..." He broke out of his daze to see Abby waving a hand in from of his face.
He shook his head. "Sorry. What were you saying?"
"I asked if anybody called Elizabeth or Jen yet." She paused. "For Rachel." He shook his head again.
"No. As far as we knew Rachel had been living with Jen. And Elizabeth is back in England working with her father. I have Malik working on finding their numbers, I just thought we should give Rachel some time alone before bombarding her with visitors."
"Are you sure that's wise?" Abby asked, head cocked. "What if she runs?"
"Runs?"
"Yea, leaves AMA." Abby looked down, as if in shame. "She's a drug addict Carter. When she wakes up she's going to need a fix."
A look of realization crossed his face and he stood from the chair he'd seated himself in. "I'll see you later Abby." He ran off towards the elevators.
He didn't hear the sound of the pop can dropping in the machine. Abby picked up the can of Coke and studied his retreating form before shrugging and walking off.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When I smile,
tell me some bad news
Before I laugh and act like a fool
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Rachel? Where are you going?"
She froze in place and studied the person standing in the doorway. She hadn't seen him since the funeral, and had been surprised even then at the incredible change in him. He wasn't the clumsy bumbling doctor she'd known as a child anymore. Of course, she wasn't a child anymore either.
"Away." She replied and started to push past him. He stood in her way and managed to maneuver himself inside enough to close the door. "What are you doing?"
"Saving your life." He replied. She rolled her eyes and glared at the tall man.
"Why does everybody want to save me? I don't need saving!" She started for the door again but felt his hands close around her arms.
"Rachel your a drug addict! Your leaving to go to find a hit right now. You obviously can't save yourself."
She pulled back from his grip and backed towards the bed. She could feel her hands beginning to shake and her mouth was quickly becoming dry. She needed something fast.
"Leave me alone! Why do you even care?" She screamed back at him. Screaming was the only thing that could somewhat calm her cravings.
"I care because your father was good to me. He was a very good friend of mine and he would want me to help you. I care because I can't stand by and watch you kill yourself."
"Oh I get it! You want to be the big hero and save the poor little junky! Well I'll save you the trouble. I'm a lost cause! So you can get your gold star for trying but I'm out of here." She pushed past him and started for the door.
"What's his name?" Carter called after her. She turned and rolled her eyes.
"What?!"
"What's your dealers name? Maybe I know him. I know a lot of people in that business. Can get you some great discounts." He said calmly as he sat down on the bed. He crossed his arms and stared up at the frail girl.
"What are you talking about?" She asked, a look of curiosity on her face.
"You know what I'm talking about." He leaned back slightly on the bed and narrowed his eyes at her in a challenge. She slowly made her way closer to the bed, but not obviously. With each step forward she took another two back.
"You do drugs?" She asked in a voice so low it was almost a whisper.
"Used to." She made a circle around the room and ended up back by the door.
"What did you do?"
"A little of everything. Mostly fentynol, morphine. Whatever I could get my hands on around here. What about you?"
She paced the room and chewed her bottom lip. She was becoming more nervous by the minute.
"You can get drugs around here?"
"I asked you a question." He replied immediately.
"Everything. Mostly coke or horse. But I've tried other things." She paused and look him dead on. "Now answer my question."
"Its a hospital. The only place with more drugs is a police evidence locker." He kept her eyes and refused to let her look away.
She was looking more hungry by the minute. She played with her fingers and a sweat was starting to break out on her forehead.
"Can you get me some?" She moved towards him more deliberately now. She held his stare and licked her lips. "I'll pay you back. I'll do anything." She reached out and ran her hand down his arm.
Carter didn't budge, not willing to break the eye contact. "Is this what you do on the streets to get drugs. Sleep around." She suddenly broke the contact and walked to the other side of the room. She turned around with a look of rage in her eyes.
"I'm not a whore!" She screamed. Carter threw up his hands in submission.
"I didn't say you were. I just asked a question."
She swallowed thickly and began chewing her lip again. "Sometimes. I have to. I don't have a lot of money. Its easier then trying to keep a job."
"Easier now maybe. Its not safe though. Do you use protection?" He quizzed. She turned back to him and grew angry again.
"Of course! I don't want a kid right now."
"I'm not just talking about pregnancy. Your dad was a doctor, you know about AIDS and STD's."
"Why are you giving me a lecture on safe sex?" She threw up her hands. "You know what, forget it. Can you get me the drugs or not?"
Carter just shrugged. "I could. But I'd rather get you help."
"I don't want help! I'm outta here." She turned towards the door but Carter stood and stopped her.
"Here." He handed her a bag. "There's some clean needles, condoms, and my phone number. Use them. Especially the last one."
She held his gaze a moment longer and then disappeared out the door.
Carter just leaned back on the bed, hands behind his head, and sighed.
TBC
Part 3
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When my fist clenches,
crack it open
Before I use it and lose my cool
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Once again, the infamous pop machine had eaten his change. Angrily, he punched the button for a Coke continuous with no results. Finally, his frustration reaching a peak, he kicked the machine so hard that several of the patients in the chairs nearby turned to stare at the crazy man fighting with the pop machine.
"Damn son of a..." He began cursing. He was just about to find the paddles to shock the machine into submission when he felt a hand on his shoulder.
"Easy Carter. What did it do to you?" He turned to see Abby Lockhart staring back at him. He caught his breathe and fought to regain his composure.
"Damn machine." He continued, only calmer this time. "You know it never worked for me in eight years." Abby smiled wryly, but averted her eyes from his.
"They can invent machines to take the place of the human heart, yet they can't find a way to make a pop machine work right." She joked. Taking out a couple of quarters she inserted them into the slot.
Minutes later the machine spit out a Diet Coke for her. Carter just looked stunned.
"What can I say? I have the touch." She replied to his silent question.
'That you do.' He thought, but restrained himself from saying it. Abby didn't like him in that way. She'd made that perfectly clear. So why couldn't he accept that?
"Carter? Earth the Carter..." He broke out of his daze to see Abby waving a hand in from of his face.
He shook his head. "Sorry. What were you saying?"
"I asked if anybody called Elizabeth or Jen yet." She paused. "For Rachel." He shook his head again.
"No. As far as we knew Rachel had been living with Jen. And Elizabeth is back in England working with her father. I have Malik working on finding their numbers, I just thought we should give Rachel some time alone before bombarding her with visitors."
"Are you sure that's wise?" Abby asked, head cocked. "What if she runs?"
"Runs?"
"Yea, leaves AMA." Abby looked down, as if in shame. "She's a drug addict Carter. When she wakes up she's going to need a fix."
A look of realization crossed his face and he stood from the chair he'd seated himself in. "I'll see you later Abby." He ran off towards the elevators.
He didn't hear the sound of the pop can dropping in the machine. Abby picked up the can of Coke and studied his retreating form before shrugging and walking off.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When I smile,
tell me some bad news
Before I laugh and act like a fool
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Rachel? Where are you going?"
She froze in place and studied the person standing in the doorway. She hadn't seen him since the funeral, and had been surprised even then at the incredible change in him. He wasn't the clumsy bumbling doctor she'd known as a child anymore. Of course, she wasn't a child anymore either.
"Away." She replied and started to push past him. He stood in her way and managed to maneuver himself inside enough to close the door. "What are you doing?"
"Saving your life." He replied. She rolled her eyes and glared at the tall man.
"Why does everybody want to save me? I don't need saving!" She started for the door again but felt his hands close around her arms.
"Rachel your a drug addict! Your leaving to go to find a hit right now. You obviously can't save yourself."
She pulled back from his grip and backed towards the bed. She could feel her hands beginning to shake and her mouth was quickly becoming dry. She needed something fast.
"Leave me alone! Why do you even care?" She screamed back at him. Screaming was the only thing that could somewhat calm her cravings.
"I care because your father was good to me. He was a very good friend of mine and he would want me to help you. I care because I can't stand by and watch you kill yourself."
"Oh I get it! You want to be the big hero and save the poor little junky! Well I'll save you the trouble. I'm a lost cause! So you can get your gold star for trying but I'm out of here." She pushed past him and started for the door.
"What's his name?" Carter called after her. She turned and rolled her eyes.
"What?!"
"What's your dealers name? Maybe I know him. I know a lot of people in that business. Can get you some great discounts." He said calmly as he sat down on the bed. He crossed his arms and stared up at the frail girl.
"What are you talking about?" She asked, a look of curiosity on her face.
"You know what I'm talking about." He leaned back slightly on the bed and narrowed his eyes at her in a challenge. She slowly made her way closer to the bed, but not obviously. With each step forward she took another two back.
"You do drugs?" She asked in a voice so low it was almost a whisper.
"Used to." She made a circle around the room and ended up back by the door.
"What did you do?"
"A little of everything. Mostly fentynol, morphine. Whatever I could get my hands on around here. What about you?"
She paced the room and chewed her bottom lip. She was becoming more nervous by the minute.
"You can get drugs around here?"
"I asked you a question." He replied immediately.
"Everything. Mostly coke or horse. But I've tried other things." She paused and look him dead on. "Now answer my question."
"Its a hospital. The only place with more drugs is a police evidence locker." He kept her eyes and refused to let her look away.
She was looking more hungry by the minute. She played with her fingers and a sweat was starting to break out on her forehead.
"Can you get me some?" She moved towards him more deliberately now. She held his stare and licked her lips. "I'll pay you back. I'll do anything." She reached out and ran her hand down his arm.
Carter didn't budge, not willing to break the eye contact. "Is this what you do on the streets to get drugs. Sleep around." She suddenly broke the contact and walked to the other side of the room. She turned around with a look of rage in her eyes.
"I'm not a whore!" She screamed. Carter threw up his hands in submission.
"I didn't say you were. I just asked a question."
She swallowed thickly and began chewing her lip again. "Sometimes. I have to. I don't have a lot of money. Its easier then trying to keep a job."
"Easier now maybe. Its not safe though. Do you use protection?" He quizzed. She turned back to him and grew angry again.
"Of course! I don't want a kid right now."
"I'm not just talking about pregnancy. Your dad was a doctor, you know about AIDS and STD's."
"Why are you giving me a lecture on safe sex?" She threw up her hands. "You know what, forget it. Can you get me the drugs or not?"
Carter just shrugged. "I could. But I'd rather get you help."
"I don't want help! I'm outta here." She turned towards the door but Carter stood and stopped her.
"Here." He handed her a bag. "There's some clean needles, condoms, and my phone number. Use them. Especially the last one."
She held his gaze a moment longer and then disappeared out the door.
Carter just leaned back on the bed, hands behind his head, and sighed.
TBC