Lullabies and Nightmares
Part Seven
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If I shiver, please give me a blanket
Keep me warm, let me wear your coat
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The nightmares were always haunting her. Every time she closed her eyes she could feel his touch upon her. She could picture his rough hands and the look on his face. As the days wore on, she was able to remember more and more about that day. She remembered the eyes of the man she'd once called her savior. They were green and sparkling with rage and lust. No matter how hard she tried, she could not get those eyes out of her head.
He was strong. So strong. As soon as he laid his hands upon her she was unable to move. In an instant she was immobilized. His large well toned body was on hers immediately. Although her entire memory of the incident was hazy, due to the drug, she could still remember the pain and agony that had torn through her as he violated her. The memory brought tears to her eyes every time.
But she was hanging in there thanks to one person. The doctor from her past who had mysteriously become her new savior. She'd asked him several times why he was helping her. Why did he care? He never really gave a straight answer. It was always something like "I just do" or "why wouldn't I?".
They did argue sometimes though. The most recent argument was over the fact that she wasn't finishing her disgusting hospital meals. Was it her fault that hospitals hired random people off the street to do their cooking? She'd already lost count of the numerous hairs she'd found in her food and water glass.
And the nurses wondered why she didn't have an appetite.
She was just waking up from a small doze when Carter walked into the room. He was holding something behind his back.
"Hey Rach. Did I wake you up?" Carter asked. He set whatever it was he was hiding down on the floor and sat on the edge of the bed. She rolled her eyes.
"Of course you did. Is there anything else to do here except sleep?" She focused on the blanket covering her frail body and picked at a loose thread.
"You'll be out of here soon enough. You should take the time to rest up. The doctors will want you active as soon as your out of here anyway. Take my word for it, enjoy it while you can." His voice had the usual sarcastic tone to it.
"Why do you do that to your patients?" Rachel asked. Suddenly he seemed a bit uncomfortable, and gazed out the window. He slid his hands into his pockets and rocked back and forth. The he turned and faced her again.
"If you mean do I torture my patients and force them to push my car to work when it stalls no. I do give the recommended treatments though. Sometimes physical therapy is part of that."
"Whatever." She rolled her eyes. She knew he was hiding something. He was the worst liar she'd ever met. But she wasn't willing to push him just yet. She was smart enough not to push away her only ally.
He strolled over to the bed and sat back down. "So, I hear you didn't eat lunch again today." He smirked. She hated that smirk. It made her want to punch him sometimes.
"Your point being..." She began.
"Well, I just thought you might be a little hungry..." He held up the bag he'd brought in. The side read the name of her favorite restaurant. "But if you'd rather starve yourself..."
Her head shot up and she held back a wince as pain struck her. The site was not lost on Carter though and his expression turned serious.
"Rachel..." He began, walking towards her.
"Your going to let me have real food? What happened to 'a strict diet is important when your body is healing'?" She repeated, ignoring his concern. He seemed to take the bait.
"Well, rules can be broke every now and then." He shrugged and handed her the bag. She reached in and pulled out a veggie burger and salad. She smiled as much as her bruised face would allow.
"I don't eat meat." She stated.
"I'm aware. I assure you that burger's purely of the vegetable family. No dead cows right?" He winked and she held back laughter. The first real laughter she'd experienced in a long time.
"Right." She replied, and began eating the food. Carter walked over to the window and began looking out again. He got a faraway look on his face, and Rachel studied him for a moment. She didn't remember her father saying much about Carter in the last few years of his life. She wondered what it was he thought about when he zoned out. She as sure it wasn't pleasant though. It never was when you zoned out like that. She knew from experience.
She took another bite of her food and continued watching him.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If I swallow anything evil
Put your finger down my throat
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Looking out at the city street, Carter began to lose himself in his thoughts. Rachel seemed better. At least better then she had been the night before. She talked a bit more, granted it was usually when they were arguing about one thing or another. Still, she seemed to be returning to the old Rachel again.
But still there was the drug problem. The hospital had her on a strict dose of morphine every few hours so her body hadn't had a chance to withdraw from the reckless drug use. When she got home, it would be another story all together.
He had to be prepared. Wet wash clothes. Easy bathroom access. Cold showers. Compozine. Soup for when she was feeling better. And locks on the doors to make sure she couldn't get out and run back to her dealer.
He was reminded of Chase and the days he'd spend detoxing his cousin in his apartment. It hadn't worked. He had to face the possibility that it wouldn't work with Rachel either. But he couldn't let that happen. Not to Mark's daughter. She had too much potential. She wasn't like the other junkies on the streets. She had a mother to go home too, two actually. She had a baby sister to watch over. Rachel had a purpose. She just had to figure out what it was.
He'd been on both sides of the situation. He'd been the doctor and caregiver to his cousin Chase. He'd also been the junky going through withdrawal. He knew how bad it could, and often did, get. Rachel was addicted to heroin and cocaine. Two of the worst drugs to get off of.
There was always rapid detox. The same procedure Doug Ross had gotten in trouble for years before. It was still in use at some hospitals. He considered getting Rachel into one of those programs. It would be easier, true. But in the long run, would it work? There was no way to be certain.
The whole situation was touch and go. But he had to do something. Rachel, as far as he was concerned, was his responsibility. Mark had left the Emergency Department to him. It was the greatest honor ever bestowed upon him. He was determined not to fail. But Rachel was Mark's daughter. She had always been number one in his life, even before saving lives.
Rachel was what Mark lived for.
He couldn't fail. It would be the greatest betrayal of all. Rachel Greene was not just a random patient. She was somebody special who needed him. She needed him, even if she didn't want to admit it just yet.
Maybe he needed her too.
He turned back and noticed that Rachel had finished eating and fallen asleep. The nurse walked in, syringe in hand, and smiled at him. He watched as she injected the morphine into the IV bag and checked the patients vital signs.
"How much longer is she going to be on the pain medication?" Carter asked the nurse.
"You'll have to ask Dr. Hardgrove but I believe she'll be released tomorrow morning. After that we'll prescribe her something for home."
"She's a drug addict you know. The last thing she needs is more drugs in her system." He countered gently. The nurse looked confused.
"Well, with her injuries its standard procedure to administer pain control. If you'd rather we didn't..." She began.
"No no its ok." He shook his head. "For now anyway. Tell Dr. Hardgrove I'd like to speak with him when he's free."
"I'll do that. He'll be by shortly." The nurse left the room and Carter leaned against the window sill. He dropped his head against his back and sighed.
This could quite possibly be the most difficult case he'd ever had to deal with.
TBC
Part Seven
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If I shiver, please give me a blanket
Keep me warm, let me wear your coat
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The nightmares were always haunting her. Every time she closed her eyes she could feel his touch upon her. She could picture his rough hands and the look on his face. As the days wore on, she was able to remember more and more about that day. She remembered the eyes of the man she'd once called her savior. They were green and sparkling with rage and lust. No matter how hard she tried, she could not get those eyes out of her head.
He was strong. So strong. As soon as he laid his hands upon her she was unable to move. In an instant she was immobilized. His large well toned body was on hers immediately. Although her entire memory of the incident was hazy, due to the drug, she could still remember the pain and agony that had torn through her as he violated her. The memory brought tears to her eyes every time.
But she was hanging in there thanks to one person. The doctor from her past who had mysteriously become her new savior. She'd asked him several times why he was helping her. Why did he care? He never really gave a straight answer. It was always something like "I just do" or "why wouldn't I?".
They did argue sometimes though. The most recent argument was over the fact that she wasn't finishing her disgusting hospital meals. Was it her fault that hospitals hired random people off the street to do their cooking? She'd already lost count of the numerous hairs she'd found in her food and water glass.
And the nurses wondered why she didn't have an appetite.
She was just waking up from a small doze when Carter walked into the room. He was holding something behind his back.
"Hey Rach. Did I wake you up?" Carter asked. He set whatever it was he was hiding down on the floor and sat on the edge of the bed. She rolled her eyes.
"Of course you did. Is there anything else to do here except sleep?" She focused on the blanket covering her frail body and picked at a loose thread.
"You'll be out of here soon enough. You should take the time to rest up. The doctors will want you active as soon as your out of here anyway. Take my word for it, enjoy it while you can." His voice had the usual sarcastic tone to it.
"Why do you do that to your patients?" Rachel asked. Suddenly he seemed a bit uncomfortable, and gazed out the window. He slid his hands into his pockets and rocked back and forth. The he turned and faced her again.
"If you mean do I torture my patients and force them to push my car to work when it stalls no. I do give the recommended treatments though. Sometimes physical therapy is part of that."
"Whatever." She rolled her eyes. She knew he was hiding something. He was the worst liar she'd ever met. But she wasn't willing to push him just yet. She was smart enough not to push away her only ally.
He strolled over to the bed and sat back down. "So, I hear you didn't eat lunch again today." He smirked. She hated that smirk. It made her want to punch him sometimes.
"Your point being..." She began.
"Well, I just thought you might be a little hungry..." He held up the bag he'd brought in. The side read the name of her favorite restaurant. "But if you'd rather starve yourself..."
Her head shot up and she held back a wince as pain struck her. The site was not lost on Carter though and his expression turned serious.
"Rachel..." He began, walking towards her.
"Your going to let me have real food? What happened to 'a strict diet is important when your body is healing'?" She repeated, ignoring his concern. He seemed to take the bait.
"Well, rules can be broke every now and then." He shrugged and handed her the bag. She reached in and pulled out a veggie burger and salad. She smiled as much as her bruised face would allow.
"I don't eat meat." She stated.
"I'm aware. I assure you that burger's purely of the vegetable family. No dead cows right?" He winked and she held back laughter. The first real laughter she'd experienced in a long time.
"Right." She replied, and began eating the food. Carter walked over to the window and began looking out again. He got a faraway look on his face, and Rachel studied him for a moment. She didn't remember her father saying much about Carter in the last few years of his life. She wondered what it was he thought about when he zoned out. She as sure it wasn't pleasant though. It never was when you zoned out like that. She knew from experience.
She took another bite of her food and continued watching him.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If I swallow anything evil
Put your finger down my throat
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Looking out at the city street, Carter began to lose himself in his thoughts. Rachel seemed better. At least better then she had been the night before. She talked a bit more, granted it was usually when they were arguing about one thing or another. Still, she seemed to be returning to the old Rachel again.
But still there was the drug problem. The hospital had her on a strict dose of morphine every few hours so her body hadn't had a chance to withdraw from the reckless drug use. When she got home, it would be another story all together.
He had to be prepared. Wet wash clothes. Easy bathroom access. Cold showers. Compozine. Soup for when she was feeling better. And locks on the doors to make sure she couldn't get out and run back to her dealer.
He was reminded of Chase and the days he'd spend detoxing his cousin in his apartment. It hadn't worked. He had to face the possibility that it wouldn't work with Rachel either. But he couldn't let that happen. Not to Mark's daughter. She had too much potential. She wasn't like the other junkies on the streets. She had a mother to go home too, two actually. She had a baby sister to watch over. Rachel had a purpose. She just had to figure out what it was.
He'd been on both sides of the situation. He'd been the doctor and caregiver to his cousin Chase. He'd also been the junky going through withdrawal. He knew how bad it could, and often did, get. Rachel was addicted to heroin and cocaine. Two of the worst drugs to get off of.
There was always rapid detox. The same procedure Doug Ross had gotten in trouble for years before. It was still in use at some hospitals. He considered getting Rachel into one of those programs. It would be easier, true. But in the long run, would it work? There was no way to be certain.
The whole situation was touch and go. But he had to do something. Rachel, as far as he was concerned, was his responsibility. Mark had left the Emergency Department to him. It was the greatest honor ever bestowed upon him. He was determined not to fail. But Rachel was Mark's daughter. She had always been number one in his life, even before saving lives.
Rachel was what Mark lived for.
He couldn't fail. It would be the greatest betrayal of all. Rachel Greene was not just a random patient. She was somebody special who needed him. She needed him, even if she didn't want to admit it just yet.
Maybe he needed her too.
He turned back and noticed that Rachel had finished eating and fallen asleep. The nurse walked in, syringe in hand, and smiled at him. He watched as she injected the morphine into the IV bag and checked the patients vital signs.
"How much longer is she going to be on the pain medication?" Carter asked the nurse.
"You'll have to ask Dr. Hardgrove but I believe she'll be released tomorrow morning. After that we'll prescribe her something for home."
"She's a drug addict you know. The last thing she needs is more drugs in her system." He countered gently. The nurse looked confused.
"Well, with her injuries its standard procedure to administer pain control. If you'd rather we didn't..." She began.
"No no its ok." He shook his head. "For now anyway. Tell Dr. Hardgrove I'd like to speak with him when he's free."
"I'll do that. He'll be by shortly." The nurse left the room and Carter leaned against the window sill. He dropped his head against his back and sighed.
This could quite possibly be the most difficult case he'd ever had to deal with.
TBC