*Disclaimer: For the rest of the story let it be known that I don't own the
turtles. Thanx so much to my reviewers! Your ideas will be put to good use!
BTW, this chapter and most likely the rest of this story will be co-written
by my friend, Carmen.
Hello, and we're back for our first round! Please welcome our contestants… * lights go up and we see four very unhappy turtles chained to the back of the stage*
Leo: You can't make us do this!
Of course I can, I'm writing this fic!
Raph: Of course, your almighty authorness.
Thank you.
Raph: That is NOT what I said!
Yes, I know, I'm just making a point to the wounded bird. *Waves at Leo*
Leo: I swear, you call me that one more time…
You'll hurt me? With what? (She pulls a set of katana from behind her back.) Besides, I thought you weren't allowed to hit girls.
Leo: Where did you get those?
Never question my sources! I may just decide to use these!
Leo: Put them down. Please.
No, I don't think so. I might need them.
Mikey: Can I have my pizza now?
Sure! *Puts the pizza right in front of his feet, just out of his reach*
Mike: *Trying desperately to kick the pizza over to himself* NO! Why would you do that?
It builds character. Now let's see…*a table rises from the ground and cards come out of a slot in the middle* LOL! Ohhh…these are good ones!
Leo: What is?
This. *Snaps fingers* Yep, this is going to work out nicely. *Raph, Leo, Mikey, and Donny are seen on the highest point of the Brooklyn Bridge. Author examines just how far it is to the bottom.* You know, if you didn't have bungee cords, this would hurt if you jumped off.
Leo: But we don't have bungee cords.
*Laughing hysterically* I know! But don't worry, this is just fiction. How bad could it hurt?
Raph: *Looking down, very far down* So, who gets to do this?
Well since you asked…you! And just 'cause I love him, Leo!
Raph and Leo: What?!
Ye! I love how enthusiastic you two are about this! Now, work together and play nice. But just to make sure the rating doesn't change, Raph, you can't cuss.
Raph: What?! What happens if I do?
I don't know, let's find out.
Raph: Fuck you!
*A shrill scream is heard from the Raph's side.* Oh my gawd! It's him! *A blonde girl comes sprinting out from nowhere. Her t-shirt says "I love Raphael" and she is carrying picket signs that say "We love you!"*
Raph, meet the president of your fan club.
Raph: Make her go away!
*Fan girl disappears*
Raph: Now, let's say, hypothetically of course, that I hate Leo. Can I push him off?
Only if he tells you to!
Raph: huh?
Didn't I mention that? You're only allowed to do what Leo says! But don't worry, since you can't cuss anymore, I'm sure we'll have no problems!
Leo: Maybe she isn't so bad after all… Raph, hop up and down on one leg while singing row, row, row your boat.
Raph: (no longer has control over his own body and is immediately singing and hopping.)
Ta Ta boys! Cest la vie! *She takes Mikey and Donnie by the arm and leads them into a room which has appeared out of nowhere. It is completely furnished.* Take a seat! *They both sit down, Donnie on the couch and Mikey in an arm chair. The author takes out a remote and pushes a button. A TV lowers from the ceiling, when turned on, Leo and Raph are on it.*
Mikey: Cool!
Isn't it? But you don't want to watch this…*A second TV lowers in front Mike.* Look Mike, the discovery channel! *Metal wrist locks rise from the chair and close on his wrists.*
Mike: I don't like you!
Oh? Here, let me make it up to you! *A TV dinner stand rises in front of Mike. Author puts his pizza box on it.*
Mikey: But I can't move my arms.
I know that… Look! The ancient Egyptians!
Mikey: You are possibly the cruelest person I've ever met!
Deal with it.
Mikey: Just one slice? Pleaseeeee? *makes his eyes very large*
Fine. *Opens the box and shows the pizza to Mikey*
Mikey: What happened to it?
Nothing. It's sushi pizza.
Mikey: All of it?
*Examines pizza* Crust…sauce…cheese…yep, all of it.
Mikey: Whose idea of a cruel joke is this?!
Relax babe. The Egyptians won't wait for you to rant and rave before the show starts.
Mikey: You can't make me watch it!
*Mike's eyes freeze open* Yes I can. I'm the author.
Mike: But I have to blink!
Oh, right, I forgot about that…oh well Besides, you should enjoy this! After all, you can't watch TV or play video games anymore after this is over!. *Takes a seat next to Donny, he moves farther away.*
Donny: Please, leave me alone.
Mikey: *Crying hysterically* Let me go! I hate this show! I never watch it anyway!
Sure you don't. Now shut up like a good boy before I take away your comic books. *Changes the channel on the TV.* Hey, look!
Donny: *He squints, then his eyes widen* Pauly Shore?
Here. *tosses him the remote.*
Donny: *Flipping through channels* But a different one of his movies is on every channel!!
Well, I guess you could go on the computer. No wait…I don't have one. Silly me!
Donny: *Hyperventilating* No…computer…rest of show…computer…none?
Nope. I don't believe in that advanced technology.
Donny: But you have TV's that lower from the ceiling!!!
Yes, but TV is educational. Look at Mikey learning all about Egypt!
Mikey: I REALLY need to blink!
Oh…and I feel so bad for you too.
Donny: At least I can move. *Metal arm locks come from the back of the couch and lock over his arms.* Never mind.
When will you learn?
*Enter Carmen San Diego.* Carmen: Hi guys!
Mikey: Is she REALLY Carmen San Diego?
Carmen: *looks at him blankly for a moment and then turns to author.* Is he REALLY that stupid?
No…well, yes, but humor him. You aren't all too bright either.
Carmen: *Takes off hat and coat showing long blonde hair and tan skin with a few freckles on her nose and amazing blue eyes.*
Mike: Wow! Are you single?
Carmen: Why, do you want me to be?
Mike: Yes!
Hey Carmen, about time isn't it? I have a very simple task for you. Flirt with Mikey as much as possible.
Mikey: YES!!!!!
Mikey, you aren't allowed to talk to her, touch her, or, what the hell, look at her. If you do, she'll disappear.
Mikey: I hate you!
And I could care less.
Carmen: *sits on the arm of the chair.* So, you're name is Mikey, huh? What a cute name for such a cute guy!
Mikey: I HATE YOU!!
Donny: You can't leave me in here with Pauly Shore, your airhead friend, *and* Mikey!
I can't? Oh wait…you're joking! Ha Ha! I get it! Alright then, I'm going to check on your brothers. Have fun you three! *Author exits through a door in the back. She locks the door behind her and is in a small room with no windows. There is a single computer, yes Donny a computer, in the middle. (Hey, I never said I was telling the truth!) She sits down at it and places a small headpiece around her ear. She can see Raph and Leo on the screen.* Hi guys, how's it going?
*We see Raph and Leo looking very confused as they hear author's voice coming from the sky.*
Leo: Where are you?
Here!
Raph: Where?!
Right here! I see you, do you see me?
Leo: No!
Good! Now, when can I schedule your jump? And please make it soon, some of us have dentist appointments next week!
Raph: There is no friggin' way I'm going to jump off this bridge!
Really?
Rapid Fangirl: There he is again!!! I have to kiss him!!! Come on, girls!
Raph: Leo, jump! Now!!!
*Author laughs to herself and logs off her computer. Then she walks back into the main room, where Donny is hypnotized and Carmen is sitting in Mikey's lap.*
Mikey: Please! Just let me look at her!
Shhh…just for a minute. Besides, that would spoil the purpose of this story.
Two very loud screams are heard, followed by a very loud smack! sound.
Gee, I wonder where those disturbing sounds came from?
Donny: *he shakes his head and his eyes return to their normal color.* Oh, good, it's over!
*Almost simultaneously, the next movie starts, starring…Pauly Shore!*
How are we all doing? *Sits next to Donny and smiles way too sweetly. Then she flips her cards out of her pocket.* Ha, ha! Fluffy bunnies…that's priceless.
(Just then, the door to the room is thrown open, on the other side of it are two very angry, and very wet turtles.)
Raph: You!
Who, me?
Leo: Not only did we just jump off the Brooklyn Bridge, oh no! We were pushed off!
Raph: By rapid Fangirls!!!!!!!
You both seem cranky, here have some towels! *Throws them each a towel to dry off with.* You know, Leo, I believe I can fix your problem of crankiness!
Leo: Oh, do you?
Don't be so bitter! Now, all you have to do, is stop telling everyone what to do!
Leo: Thanks, but no thanks!
Okay! Oh, by the way, I forbid you to tell people what to do!
Leo: But why?
Hey, you already had your fun with Raph! Now unless you want to end up like this *points to Donnie, who is having a what seems to be a two sided conversation with the wall,* or like this *gestures to Mikey who's eyes are bright red and he is moaning because if looks at Carmen she'll go away, and who's brain is filling up with way to many facts about the Egyptians,* I suggest you give up to my power and surrender!
Leo: Never!
Fine! You wouldn't want to disobey your Master, would-*flips through cards.* Never mind. *evil grin.* Time for the next chapter, where an amazing review is forming itself in my mind.
Leo: (grumbles)
Oh, I almost forgot! Raph, there's someone here to see you! She's in the next room! (gestures to a door.)
Raph: (Raises an eye ridge) She? *He walks towards the door, and with the author's promise that isn't a fangirl in there, enters the room. He should really get to know the author better.*
Raph: 200 fluffy bunnies?!
Correction, 200 fluffy ninja bunnies! Oh, meet there leader!
*A ninja jumps down from it's place on the ceiling, pulling off it's mask.*
Ninja: Hi there!
Raph: Fangirl!!!!! *Starts to claw at door, but it is locked. What a shame…*
No, no Raph. You have to fight her first! But since you have the advantage here, I knew you wouldn't mind a little bet!
Raph: A bet?!
Ninja Fangirl: Yes Raphael, a bet. I win, you're my slave forever! You win, well…hey! You win! Congratulations!
Oh, and I took your sais, it was only fair!
Raph: *Feels his belt, it's empty.* (grumble) Fine! I'll kick you're a-…I mean, butt!
I'm really upset you caught that in time!
Raph: Alright ya obsessed little wimp…come on!
Oh, she also trains! Have fun you two!
Ninja Fangirl: *Pulls out nunchucks and starts to twirl them around dangerously.*
Raph: Get me outta here!
*Alright reviewers, time for chapter two, or three. I don't remember. Those two need some time to work out their issues. (screams are heard coming from the background.) Sorry I couldn't use all your ideas, but I tried to squeeze in at least one from each reviewer! And I will continue to use the ideas throughout the story! Thanks again for all the great reviews! I appreciate them! See you whenever!*
Hello, and we're back for our first round! Please welcome our contestants… * lights go up and we see four very unhappy turtles chained to the back of the stage*
Leo: You can't make us do this!
Of course I can, I'm writing this fic!
Raph: Of course, your almighty authorness.
Thank you.
Raph: That is NOT what I said!
Yes, I know, I'm just making a point to the wounded bird. *Waves at Leo*
Leo: I swear, you call me that one more time…
You'll hurt me? With what? (She pulls a set of katana from behind her back.) Besides, I thought you weren't allowed to hit girls.
Leo: Where did you get those?
Never question my sources! I may just decide to use these!
Leo: Put them down. Please.
No, I don't think so. I might need them.
Mikey: Can I have my pizza now?
Sure! *Puts the pizza right in front of his feet, just out of his reach*
Mike: *Trying desperately to kick the pizza over to himself* NO! Why would you do that?
It builds character. Now let's see…*a table rises from the ground and cards come out of a slot in the middle* LOL! Ohhh…these are good ones!
Leo: What is?
This. *Snaps fingers* Yep, this is going to work out nicely. *Raph, Leo, Mikey, and Donny are seen on the highest point of the Brooklyn Bridge. Author examines just how far it is to the bottom.* You know, if you didn't have bungee cords, this would hurt if you jumped off.
Leo: But we don't have bungee cords.
*Laughing hysterically* I know! But don't worry, this is just fiction. How bad could it hurt?
Raph: *Looking down, very far down* So, who gets to do this?
Well since you asked…you! And just 'cause I love him, Leo!
Raph and Leo: What?!
Ye! I love how enthusiastic you two are about this! Now, work together and play nice. But just to make sure the rating doesn't change, Raph, you can't cuss.
Raph: What?! What happens if I do?
I don't know, let's find out.
Raph: Fuck you!
*A shrill scream is heard from the Raph's side.* Oh my gawd! It's him! *A blonde girl comes sprinting out from nowhere. Her t-shirt says "I love Raphael" and she is carrying picket signs that say "We love you!"*
Raph, meet the president of your fan club.
Raph: Make her go away!
*Fan girl disappears*
Raph: Now, let's say, hypothetically of course, that I hate Leo. Can I push him off?
Only if he tells you to!
Raph: huh?
Didn't I mention that? You're only allowed to do what Leo says! But don't worry, since you can't cuss anymore, I'm sure we'll have no problems!
Leo: Maybe she isn't so bad after all… Raph, hop up and down on one leg while singing row, row, row your boat.
Raph: (no longer has control over his own body and is immediately singing and hopping.)
Ta Ta boys! Cest la vie! *She takes Mikey and Donnie by the arm and leads them into a room which has appeared out of nowhere. It is completely furnished.* Take a seat! *They both sit down, Donnie on the couch and Mikey in an arm chair. The author takes out a remote and pushes a button. A TV lowers from the ceiling, when turned on, Leo and Raph are on it.*
Mikey: Cool!
Isn't it? But you don't want to watch this…*A second TV lowers in front Mike.* Look Mike, the discovery channel! *Metal wrist locks rise from the chair and close on his wrists.*
Mike: I don't like you!
Oh? Here, let me make it up to you! *A TV dinner stand rises in front of Mike. Author puts his pizza box on it.*
Mikey: But I can't move my arms.
I know that… Look! The ancient Egyptians!
Mikey: You are possibly the cruelest person I've ever met!
Deal with it.
Mikey: Just one slice? Pleaseeeee? *makes his eyes very large*
Fine. *Opens the box and shows the pizza to Mikey*
Mikey: What happened to it?
Nothing. It's sushi pizza.
Mikey: All of it?
*Examines pizza* Crust…sauce…cheese…yep, all of it.
Mikey: Whose idea of a cruel joke is this?!
Relax babe. The Egyptians won't wait for you to rant and rave before the show starts.
Mikey: You can't make me watch it!
*Mike's eyes freeze open* Yes I can. I'm the author.
Mike: But I have to blink!
Oh, right, I forgot about that…oh well Besides, you should enjoy this! After all, you can't watch TV or play video games anymore after this is over!. *Takes a seat next to Donny, he moves farther away.*
Donny: Please, leave me alone.
Mikey: *Crying hysterically* Let me go! I hate this show! I never watch it anyway!
Sure you don't. Now shut up like a good boy before I take away your comic books. *Changes the channel on the TV.* Hey, look!
Donny: *He squints, then his eyes widen* Pauly Shore?
Here. *tosses him the remote.*
Donny: *Flipping through channels* But a different one of his movies is on every channel!!
Well, I guess you could go on the computer. No wait…I don't have one. Silly me!
Donny: *Hyperventilating* No…computer…rest of show…computer…none?
Nope. I don't believe in that advanced technology.
Donny: But you have TV's that lower from the ceiling!!!
Yes, but TV is educational. Look at Mikey learning all about Egypt!
Mikey: I REALLY need to blink!
Oh…and I feel so bad for you too.
Donny: At least I can move. *Metal arm locks come from the back of the couch and lock over his arms.* Never mind.
When will you learn?
*Enter Carmen San Diego.* Carmen: Hi guys!
Mikey: Is she REALLY Carmen San Diego?
Carmen: *looks at him blankly for a moment and then turns to author.* Is he REALLY that stupid?
No…well, yes, but humor him. You aren't all too bright either.
Carmen: *Takes off hat and coat showing long blonde hair and tan skin with a few freckles on her nose and amazing blue eyes.*
Mike: Wow! Are you single?
Carmen: Why, do you want me to be?
Mike: Yes!
Hey Carmen, about time isn't it? I have a very simple task for you. Flirt with Mikey as much as possible.
Mikey: YES!!!!!
Mikey, you aren't allowed to talk to her, touch her, or, what the hell, look at her. If you do, she'll disappear.
Mikey: I hate you!
And I could care less.
Carmen: *sits on the arm of the chair.* So, you're name is Mikey, huh? What a cute name for such a cute guy!
Mikey: I HATE YOU!!
Donny: You can't leave me in here with Pauly Shore, your airhead friend, *and* Mikey!
I can't? Oh wait…you're joking! Ha Ha! I get it! Alright then, I'm going to check on your brothers. Have fun you three! *Author exits through a door in the back. She locks the door behind her and is in a small room with no windows. There is a single computer, yes Donny a computer, in the middle. (Hey, I never said I was telling the truth!) She sits down at it and places a small headpiece around her ear. She can see Raph and Leo on the screen.* Hi guys, how's it going?
*We see Raph and Leo looking very confused as they hear author's voice coming from the sky.*
Leo: Where are you?
Here!
Raph: Where?!
Right here! I see you, do you see me?
Leo: No!
Good! Now, when can I schedule your jump? And please make it soon, some of us have dentist appointments next week!
Raph: There is no friggin' way I'm going to jump off this bridge!
Really?
Rapid Fangirl: There he is again!!! I have to kiss him!!! Come on, girls!
Raph: Leo, jump! Now!!!
*Author laughs to herself and logs off her computer. Then she walks back into the main room, where Donny is hypnotized and Carmen is sitting in Mikey's lap.*
Mikey: Please! Just let me look at her!
Shhh…just for a minute. Besides, that would spoil the purpose of this story.
Two very loud screams are heard, followed by a very loud smack! sound.
Gee, I wonder where those disturbing sounds came from?
Donny: *he shakes his head and his eyes return to their normal color.* Oh, good, it's over!
*Almost simultaneously, the next movie starts, starring…Pauly Shore!*
How are we all doing? *Sits next to Donny and smiles way too sweetly. Then she flips her cards out of her pocket.* Ha, ha! Fluffy bunnies…that's priceless.
(Just then, the door to the room is thrown open, on the other side of it are two very angry, and very wet turtles.)
Raph: You!
Who, me?
Leo: Not only did we just jump off the Brooklyn Bridge, oh no! We were pushed off!
Raph: By rapid Fangirls!!!!!!!
You both seem cranky, here have some towels! *Throws them each a towel to dry off with.* You know, Leo, I believe I can fix your problem of crankiness!
Leo: Oh, do you?
Don't be so bitter! Now, all you have to do, is stop telling everyone what to do!
Leo: Thanks, but no thanks!
Okay! Oh, by the way, I forbid you to tell people what to do!
Leo: But why?
Hey, you already had your fun with Raph! Now unless you want to end up like this *points to Donnie, who is having a what seems to be a two sided conversation with the wall,* or like this *gestures to Mikey who's eyes are bright red and he is moaning because if looks at Carmen she'll go away, and who's brain is filling up with way to many facts about the Egyptians,* I suggest you give up to my power and surrender!
Leo: Never!
Fine! You wouldn't want to disobey your Master, would-*flips through cards.* Never mind. *evil grin.* Time for the next chapter, where an amazing review is forming itself in my mind.
Leo: (grumbles)
Oh, I almost forgot! Raph, there's someone here to see you! She's in the next room! (gestures to a door.)
Raph: (Raises an eye ridge) She? *He walks towards the door, and with the author's promise that isn't a fangirl in there, enters the room. He should really get to know the author better.*
Raph: 200 fluffy bunnies?!
Correction, 200 fluffy ninja bunnies! Oh, meet there leader!
*A ninja jumps down from it's place on the ceiling, pulling off it's mask.*
Ninja: Hi there!
Raph: Fangirl!!!!! *Starts to claw at door, but it is locked. What a shame…*
No, no Raph. You have to fight her first! But since you have the advantage here, I knew you wouldn't mind a little bet!
Raph: A bet?!
Ninja Fangirl: Yes Raphael, a bet. I win, you're my slave forever! You win, well…hey! You win! Congratulations!
Oh, and I took your sais, it was only fair!
Raph: *Feels his belt, it's empty.* (grumble) Fine! I'll kick you're a-…I mean, butt!
I'm really upset you caught that in time!
Raph: Alright ya obsessed little wimp…come on!
Oh, she also trains! Have fun you two!
Ninja Fangirl: *Pulls out nunchucks and starts to twirl them around dangerously.*
Raph: Get me outta here!
*Alright reviewers, time for chapter two, or three. I don't remember. Those two need some time to work out their issues. (screams are heard coming from the background.) Sorry I couldn't use all your ideas, but I tried to squeeze in at least one from each reviewer! And I will continue to use the ideas throughout the story! Thanks again for all the great reviews! I appreciate them! See you whenever!*