THE VERY SECRET DIARY OF DRACO MALFOY
Day 1
Have arrived in Hogwarts and been sorted into Slytherin. Go me! Slytherin is the best House. Daddy sent me some money to buy new friends...he thinks of everything.
Met the head of the House, Professor Snape. Very nice man, offered a bag of Galleons to whoever killed Quirrell first. Think maybe he wants Quirrell's job or something. Also taught us the secret Slytherin handshake and the super-secret Slytherin victory dance, for when we humiliate any Gryffindors. He also offered to teach me some other "secret Slytherin practices" but I declined, since I don't think students are allowed in professors' private quarters after dark.
Day 3
Have basically proven to everyone that I am good-looking, smart and rich. All except stupid three Gryffindors...fuzzy-headed girl, Weasley brat and that jerk Potter. Potter not bad-looking, though of course I'm a much better catch.
Day 5
Stupid Potter made stupid Gryffindor stupid Seeker on the STUPID House team. Am not happy with this. Know that I can be a MUCH better Seeker, but there are no openings on my House team. Asked Snape to change the rules and made two Seekers legal for House teams. He said that rules were meant to be broken...but I think he was referring to the rule about not visiting professors' private chambers after dark. Am thinking of becoming a Hufflepuff.
Day 8
Had a very disturbing private tutoring with House head involving chocolate syrup. Not sure father would approve.
Day 22
Haven't written in awhile because of classes. Get perfect marks in Potions as always but other professors are not as considerate. Think maybe the syrup trick would get me better grades with them as well.
Slytherin biffy broken, had to share shower time with the Gryffindors. Potter not quite as bad-looking as I figured.
Day 24
Tried the syrup trick on MacGonagall and she turned me into a badger.
Day 30
Recovering from the badger incident. Note to self: apparently only Slytherins understand the subtle science of chocolate.
Day 38
Bloody Quidditch match. Lost the game. Not much fun to watch. Was almost interested when Potter seemed to be under a De-Trousering Curse, but that ended pretty quick. Lousy day.
Day 42
Can't seem to talk to Potter alone...his little redheaded boyfriend Weasley is always there. Are they epoxied together or something? Still avoiding Snape after the syrup incident.
Day 49
Tripped Weasley in the hallway, scattering his books. Hung around smirking while Potter helped pick them up. Not too bad-looking when he's bending over.
Day 52
Have written to father about The Head of my House and these private classes of his. Father says I should learn all that I can from Snape about the Dark Arts so I can have an advantage over the other students. On the back of the letter it said "P.S. Don't let him pull the syrup trick on you like he did to me."
Thanks for nothing, dad!
Day 62
Potter and his sidekicks somehow beat out Voldemort to getting some stupid stone. Not that I or anyone else cares. Slytherin lost the House Cup, worse luck. Father sent a check to Dumbledore for the Cup in Slytherin's name but the stupid git had the nerve to hold it til it cleared the bank, which was well after term ended! Am thinking I should switch schools to Durmstrang, which has a much better curriculum concerning the Dark Arts, and hopefully less friendly teachers.
Day 1
Have arrived in Hogwarts and been sorted into Slytherin. Go me! Slytherin is the best House. Daddy sent me some money to buy new friends...he thinks of everything.
Met the head of the House, Professor Snape. Very nice man, offered a bag of Galleons to whoever killed Quirrell first. Think maybe he wants Quirrell's job or something. Also taught us the secret Slytherin handshake and the super-secret Slytherin victory dance, for when we humiliate any Gryffindors. He also offered to teach me some other "secret Slytherin practices" but I declined, since I don't think students are allowed in professors' private quarters after dark.
Day 3
Have basically proven to everyone that I am good-looking, smart and rich. All except stupid three Gryffindors...fuzzy-headed girl, Weasley brat and that jerk Potter. Potter not bad-looking, though of course I'm a much better catch.
Day 5
Stupid Potter made stupid Gryffindor stupid Seeker on the STUPID House team. Am not happy with this. Know that I can be a MUCH better Seeker, but there are no openings on my House team. Asked Snape to change the rules and made two Seekers legal for House teams. He said that rules were meant to be broken...but I think he was referring to the rule about not visiting professors' private chambers after dark. Am thinking of becoming a Hufflepuff.
Day 8
Had a very disturbing private tutoring with House head involving chocolate syrup. Not sure father would approve.
Day 22
Haven't written in awhile because of classes. Get perfect marks in Potions as always but other professors are not as considerate. Think maybe the syrup trick would get me better grades with them as well.
Slytherin biffy broken, had to share shower time with the Gryffindors. Potter not quite as bad-looking as I figured.
Day 24
Tried the syrup trick on MacGonagall and she turned me into a badger.
Day 30
Recovering from the badger incident. Note to self: apparently only Slytherins understand the subtle science of chocolate.
Day 38
Bloody Quidditch match. Lost the game. Not much fun to watch. Was almost interested when Potter seemed to be under a De-Trousering Curse, but that ended pretty quick. Lousy day.
Day 42
Can't seem to talk to Potter alone...his little redheaded boyfriend Weasley is always there. Are they epoxied together or something? Still avoiding Snape after the syrup incident.
Day 49
Tripped Weasley in the hallway, scattering his books. Hung around smirking while Potter helped pick them up. Not too bad-looking when he's bending over.
Day 52
Have written to father about The Head of my House and these private classes of his. Father says I should learn all that I can from Snape about the Dark Arts so I can have an advantage over the other students. On the back of the letter it said "P.S. Don't let him pull the syrup trick on you like he did to me."
Thanks for nothing, dad!
Day 62
Potter and his sidekicks somehow beat out Voldemort to getting some stupid stone. Not that I or anyone else cares. Slytherin lost the House Cup, worse luck. Father sent a check to Dumbledore for the Cup in Slytherin's name but the stupid git had the nerve to hold it til it cleared the bank, which was well after term ended! Am thinking I should switch schools to Durmstrang, which has a much better curriculum concerning the Dark Arts, and hopefully less friendly teachers.