THE VERY SECRET DIARY OF LORD VOLDEMORT
Day 1
Have successfully graduated from Hogwarts and am looking forward to my new life!
Day 2 Have won a free trip to Albania off the radio. Am going now to be picked up at airport by host-family. Host-father's name is "Blackhanded Argurus." Sounds like a very nice man.
Day 66, 234
Am the most evil entity alive. Am going to kill idiot James Potter and stupid wife Lily tonight, for referring to me as "some kind of ugly lizard guy."
Day 66, 235
Tried to kill the baby and it blew me to bits. Haven't been this mad since Dumbledore stood me up at the Roxbury. Also now disembodied.
Day 71, 202
Met up with some swotty little nancing boy named Quirrell. Stuck myself onto the back of his head for convenience. REVENGE WILL BE MINE!
Day 71, 802
Had to spend the whole day in the self-help section of an audio bookstore. Note to self: next time, pick a hostbody with more self-esteem.
Day 71, 808
Now inside Hogwarts and all is going well. Dumbledore obsessed with Potter kid, like everyone else around here. Stupid traitor Snape chasing after anything in a school uniform. Hate him.
Day 71, 815
Had a little spat with Quirrell and he tied me up in his stupid turban again. Will perform a severe Spanking Curse on him as a soon as I get my own body back. Almost wished MacGonagall had made good on her threat to turn him into a badger if he ever barged in her without knocking again.
Day 71, 816
Wish Quirrell would wash this turban once in a while.
Day 71, 842
Almost got the Stone on Halloween, but Snape interfered. Had to keep Quirrell from jumping down his trousers for THE FIFTH TIME THIS WEEK. Am getting very tired of his insubordination, and also do NOT want to involuntarily become part of an ugly threesome.
Day 71, 844
Told Quirrell to stop drawing attention to himself and be inconspicuous, so the idiot puts a De-Trousering Curse on Potter. Not that I blame him. Still, will shout something very mean at him when we get back to the room.
Day 71, 860
Was rather rudely evicted from Quirrell by idiot Potter. Tried to seduce him to the Dark side by using his parents as bait, while simultaneously keeping Quirrell from trying to seduce him with HIMSELF as bait. Got blown to bits for the second time. Will try to find a much more manly hostbody this time.
Day 1
Have successfully graduated from Hogwarts and am looking forward to my new life!
Day 2 Have won a free trip to Albania off the radio. Am going now to be picked up at airport by host-family. Host-father's name is "Blackhanded Argurus." Sounds like a very nice man.
Day 66, 234
Am the most evil entity alive. Am going to kill idiot James Potter and stupid wife Lily tonight, for referring to me as "some kind of ugly lizard guy."
Day 66, 235
Tried to kill the baby and it blew me to bits. Haven't been this mad since Dumbledore stood me up at the Roxbury. Also now disembodied.
Day 71, 202
Met up with some swotty little nancing boy named Quirrell. Stuck myself onto the back of his head for convenience. REVENGE WILL BE MINE!
Day 71, 802
Had to spend the whole day in the self-help section of an audio bookstore. Note to self: next time, pick a hostbody with more self-esteem.
Day 71, 808
Now inside Hogwarts and all is going well. Dumbledore obsessed with Potter kid, like everyone else around here. Stupid traitor Snape chasing after anything in a school uniform. Hate him.
Day 71, 815
Had a little spat with Quirrell and he tied me up in his stupid turban again. Will perform a severe Spanking Curse on him as a soon as I get my own body back. Almost wished MacGonagall had made good on her threat to turn him into a badger if he ever barged in her without knocking again.
Day 71, 816
Wish Quirrell would wash this turban once in a while.
Day 71, 842
Almost got the Stone on Halloween, but Snape interfered. Had to keep Quirrell from jumping down his trousers for THE FIFTH TIME THIS WEEK. Am getting very tired of his insubordination, and also do NOT want to involuntarily become part of an ugly threesome.
Day 71, 844
Told Quirrell to stop drawing attention to himself and be inconspicuous, so the idiot puts a De-Trousering Curse on Potter. Not that I blame him. Still, will shout something very mean at him when we get back to the room.
Day 71, 860
Was rather rudely evicted from Quirrell by idiot Potter. Tried to seduce him to the Dark side by using his parents as bait, while simultaneously keeping Quirrell from trying to seduce him with HIMSELF as bait. Got blown to bits for the second time. Will try to find a much more manly hostbody this time.