THE VERY SECRET DIARY OF HARRY POTTER
Day 1
Finally got away from overbearing family and am now at Hogwarts! Big improvement on the cupboard, though just as many spiders. Spooked out by crazy-looking Professor with a layered pageboy. Got Sorted into Gryffindor...hope that's a good thing! Everyone keeps rubbing my head and telling me how adorable I am. What nice people live here!
Day 3
Had to beat some of the nicer people off with a stick.
Day 6
Very busy with schoolwork, which is harder than I thought. Dumbledore is very concerned about my well-being, having been friends with my parents. Keeps reminding me that if I need anything at all, I can come to him, preferably between the hours of eleven p.m. and two a.m. Did need a quill- sharpener the other day, but unfortunately remembered I'm not allowed out of bed that late.
Day 8
Keep getting bad grades in Potions. Sincerely want to mouth off to scary Professor. Also want to punch his favorite student, whom I'm pretty sure he's shagging on the side. Annoying little blonde git. Still the main character though!
Day 12
Want to go home. Am all over in bruises from people pinching me in the halls. Am not so sure being cherubically cute is such a great thing any more. Considered disfiguring myself but decided that if the scar doesn't drive them away, more scars are not going to do the trick.
Day 18
Found a bunch of very advanced textbooks and a couple of detangling combs under Ron's bed. Don't know why in hell he would need such things. Tried to talk my way out a bad grade, but MacGonagall threatened to turn me into a badger. She then held me after class and told me that being a badger is actually quite fun, and would I care to try it? I said no and backed out of the room fast.
Day 19
MacGonagall looking disappointed since yesterday. Am definitely not going to act up in her class anymore.
Day 27
Got a detention from Snape and a NASTY whipping for it in the dungeons. Could have sworn I saw a black cloak hiding behind the door of the dungeon room while I was serving detention. Went to be all sore that night and had highly upsetting dreams about chocolate syrup.
Day 36
Stopped a troll from rampaging in the girls' biffy today! Hermione covered for me and Ron, which was very nice of her. What she made me do afterwards to "pay her back" was not so nice, although very educational. Considering transferring into Hufflepuff.
Day 38
WON THE QUIDDITCH MATCH! Had a bloody hard time keeping my trousers on for some reason, though no one in the stands seemed to have a problem with it. Note to self: Don't put Snitches in your mouth. They taste icky.
Had a great party in the common room with everyone. Kept getting hoisted over people's heads, which was great! I never knew I could be this popular before. Had to eventually go to bed, as people had taken to hoisting me over their heads rather too freely. Somehow wound up with someone's Quidditch glove in the left leg of my trousers.
Day 42
Have had premonition about the Philosopher's Stone. It is said to turn any metal into gold, and also produce the Elixir of Life, which is a chocolate syrup with astonishing powers. Am CONVINCED Snape is trying to steal it. Am also convinced someone or someones have been stealing all of my underwear from my drawer...now down from 12 pairs to 2 in three days.
Day 46
Went sneaking about at night to find my underwear. Found Snape and Quirrell doing something up against a wall. Talking , I suppose. Still no underwear.
Day 52
Am having hard time with finals. Asked to borrow some people's textbooks but apparently can only read them if I sit in the owner's lap. Declined on the fact that I would have no time to study in such a weird arrangement. RIP underwear.
Day 62
Confronted Quirrell, who revealed he was in an abusive relationship with a face on the back of his head. Not surprised. He always was kind of swotty. With Hermione and Ron's help, defeated Voldemort and saved the Stone, plus won the House Cup!! I AM THE BEST BOY WIZARD CHARACTER EVER!!!! GO ME!!
Day 1
Finally got away from overbearing family and am now at Hogwarts! Big improvement on the cupboard, though just as many spiders. Spooked out by crazy-looking Professor with a layered pageboy. Got Sorted into Gryffindor...hope that's a good thing! Everyone keeps rubbing my head and telling me how adorable I am. What nice people live here!
Day 3
Had to beat some of the nicer people off with a stick.
Day 6
Very busy with schoolwork, which is harder than I thought. Dumbledore is very concerned about my well-being, having been friends with my parents. Keeps reminding me that if I need anything at all, I can come to him, preferably between the hours of eleven p.m. and two a.m. Did need a quill- sharpener the other day, but unfortunately remembered I'm not allowed out of bed that late.
Day 8
Keep getting bad grades in Potions. Sincerely want to mouth off to scary Professor. Also want to punch his favorite student, whom I'm pretty sure he's shagging on the side. Annoying little blonde git. Still the main character though!
Day 12
Want to go home. Am all over in bruises from people pinching me in the halls. Am not so sure being cherubically cute is such a great thing any more. Considered disfiguring myself but decided that if the scar doesn't drive them away, more scars are not going to do the trick.
Day 18
Found a bunch of very advanced textbooks and a couple of detangling combs under Ron's bed. Don't know why in hell he would need such things. Tried to talk my way out a bad grade, but MacGonagall threatened to turn me into a badger. She then held me after class and told me that being a badger is actually quite fun, and would I care to try it? I said no and backed out of the room fast.
Day 19
MacGonagall looking disappointed since yesterday. Am definitely not going to act up in her class anymore.
Day 27
Got a detention from Snape and a NASTY whipping for it in the dungeons. Could have sworn I saw a black cloak hiding behind the door of the dungeon room while I was serving detention. Went to be all sore that night and had highly upsetting dreams about chocolate syrup.
Day 36
Stopped a troll from rampaging in the girls' biffy today! Hermione covered for me and Ron, which was very nice of her. What she made me do afterwards to "pay her back" was not so nice, although very educational. Considering transferring into Hufflepuff.
Day 38
WON THE QUIDDITCH MATCH! Had a bloody hard time keeping my trousers on for some reason, though no one in the stands seemed to have a problem with it. Note to self: Don't put Snitches in your mouth. They taste icky.
Had a great party in the common room with everyone. Kept getting hoisted over people's heads, which was great! I never knew I could be this popular before. Had to eventually go to bed, as people had taken to hoisting me over their heads rather too freely. Somehow wound up with someone's Quidditch glove in the left leg of my trousers.
Day 42
Have had premonition about the Philosopher's Stone. It is said to turn any metal into gold, and also produce the Elixir of Life, which is a chocolate syrup with astonishing powers. Am CONVINCED Snape is trying to steal it. Am also convinced someone or someones have been stealing all of my underwear from my drawer...now down from 12 pairs to 2 in three days.
Day 46
Went sneaking about at night to find my underwear. Found Snape and Quirrell doing something up against a wall. Talking , I suppose. Still no underwear.
Day 52
Am having hard time with finals. Asked to borrow some people's textbooks but apparently can only read them if I sit in the owner's lap. Declined on the fact that I would have no time to study in such a weird arrangement. RIP underwear.
Day 62
Confronted Quirrell, who revealed he was in an abusive relationship with a face on the back of his head. Not surprised. He always was kind of swotty. With Hermione and Ron's help, defeated Voldemort and saved the Stone, plus won the House Cup!! I AM THE BEST BOY WIZARD CHARACTER EVER!!!! GO ME!!