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(a/n: I waaaant candy! *bum badum bum bum bum bum* I waaaant candy! *bum badum bum bum bum bum* Wait a sec, I have candy! I haaaaaave candy! *bum badum bum bum bum bum* Thaaaanks for your reviews! *bum badum bum bum bum bum* Squaaaaall has funky shoes!*bum badum bum bum bum bum* Did I mention this is the ending? *bum badum bum bum bum bum* )
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Chapter Five: Checkmate
" Oh my Hyne!" Selphie screeched, quickly getting off of the floor. She didn't even bother removing the pudding in her hair (an omen that she should clean her room) as she leaned on her desk and punched rewind on her VCR. Yes, she had not been hallucinating. Right in front of her eyes was one of the most disturbing scenes she ever had to witness.
Squall went straight from his CD player to looking around suspiciously. He played a popular Esthar hit at full blast, then ran up to his door and locked it. Once more he directed guarded looks across his room (if only he had known where to look) then he backed slowly to where his gunblade case was. He knelt down and opened the case and -yes, it was true!- pulled out what looked like Rinoa's blue sweater-like over coat. Casually he pulled it on, following with the blue cut off sleeves.
And with that, he began to dance. It was quite disturbing, especially since due to the thinness of the material which showed off every curve of Squall's muscles.
Selphie knew that what was on the tape was gold, pure gold. It was so precious she was afraid to lay her perfectly manicured fingers adorned with sparkly nail polish on it -
What do I do, what do I do, WHAT DO I DO?????????????
- And she was also afraid about what to do with the cassette. She bit her bottom lip and sat down slowly on her bed. She hated thinking -it involved work, which was very despicable. In fact whenever she started to think, that made her hungry, and then sleepy and then she would end up crying.
" I want some pudding!" She whined to no one in particular, then stomped her foot. After she retrieved a cup of the dessert, she wondered about the cassette once more. One question bothering her was how Squall managed to get Rinoa's clothes. Then again, she was rich, so she probably had an entire wardrobe filled with the same outfit. After all, they barely, if ever, wore anything different.
Now concerning what to do with the tape, she was flabbergasted. If she didn't think of something soon, she would begin to chew at her nails, which would take months to grow back. So she decided to take desperate measure and called forth the voices in her head.
Selph, you already know the answer...
She recognised that voice. It was the once that suggested her to blackmail Quistis and Seifer.
" Blackmail Squall, Seifer and Quistis?" She asked.
Hell yeah.
Well, it seemed like the logical idea. Then again, Squall still kept in his possession the incriminating audio cassette. She was as screwed over as the rest of them were. Then again, she could always...
Selphie, haven't you learned your lesson?
Ugh. She knew that voice as well. The high pitched, sweet angelic voice of what she assumed was that little bit of conscience she had.
" Well...you have a point..."
Exactly. I suggest that you talk to Squall about the tape and ask him for an exchange.
" Hey, you're pretty smart!"
I know. And since we're on that subject...maybe you should stop cheating on exams and depend on me--
" Don't push it."
" Who are you talking to?"
Now that was a new voice. It took her a couple of seconds before she realized that Quistis was behind her. Selphie turned around and gave an innocent smile.
" Uhm...you?"
Quistis furrowed her brows.
" You were telling me not to push something?"
" The door. It's broken," Selphie said, walking to her door and pushing the button. The door slid cleanly to the side, and then closed once more. " Oh, I guess you fixed it!"
" Uh huh. Anyway, I should explain why I'm here," Quistis said, walking slowly further into Selphie's room. " I just thought that it would be amusing to watch Squall's face after he discovered the itching powder. May I view the tape?"
In response, Selphie frowned and crossed her arms. This day was draining all of her brain cells for she knew that something was off about the way that Quistis asked to watch the tape. After all, she had burst into Selphie's room, called exactly before Selphie had watched the horrendous part on the cassette and was eager to see Squall scratch himself. It was almost as if Quistis didn't trust Selphie or...
She knew.
Quistis knew that Selphie had found something -now questions remaining were of how she had found out and how Selphie would deploy her.
" Quistis, how about we go and find Squall instead?" She suggested, hoping that this idea would appeal to Quistis more. It was a known fact that Quistis was hung over Squall. She had been ever since they were children. Well, Selphie didn't blame her. Squall was really hot (for a lone wolf who despised anything happy and attempted to push out all happiness in his life for Hyne knows what reason...) and that also made her wonder about why he wanted everyone to stay away from him. She would expect him to be at the least conceited.
" Find Squall?"
" And spy on him! We can catch him in the act!"
" But Selphie...there will be no evidence..."
" ........"
Think Timlett, think!
Noooo-- you should smack her with a dictionary! That way, she'll pass out and you'll have enough time to run and blackmail all three of their sorry asses!
Why should she use a dictionary? She has Nunchaku. They should be more effective.
Since when are you on my side?
I'm not. It's just that Selphie doesn't even have a dictionary in her room or her Nunchaku. I think I remember that a chocobo flew in her room and ran off with it.
What the hell...?
" Is this the movie?"
" Gaaaaaaaaahhh!"
Selphie darted towards her VCR and shielded it with her body just before Quistis had the opportunity to press the 'play' button. Quistis frowned and folded her arms as she began to tap her toe impatiently.
" Why won't you let me see the tape?"
" Uh...uhm..." Selphie felt that any moment her heart would burst through her chest and probably out the window from the rate that it was beating at. She had to think of something and fast. That way, everything would be over. " ...It's porn."
" Porn?"
" Mhmm!" Selphie gave a wide grin and decided to continue so Quistis wouldn't become suspicious. " I love porn, after all, I have a boyfriend like Irvine. I watch it all the time! And I know how much you hate watching porn , so I decided to stop you before you became scarred!"
Quistis studied Selphie for a minute before smiling herself.
" On the contrary Selphie, I actually enjoy porn."
Selphie's face fell.
" In fact, I'm in the mood for it right now."
" You're kidding..."
" Just let me see the tape."
Groaning, Selphie realized that Quistis was too sharp to fool and she might as well let her see the tape. Besides, if she would have given the tape to Squall without Quistis and Seifer knowing, then the whole blackmailing incident would just continue to go around and around and around and around and...she was dizzy.
Selphie moved aside and gestured for Quistis to turn on the cassette. After viewing it, Quistis sat with a blank expression on her face, as if she couldn't believe what she had seen. Then the dazed look was gradually replaced with a grin and finally, Quistis was keeled over in laughter.
" Squall...cross dressing...Yes...use...this..!" She gasped, attempting to make the pain leave her sides. Once she had gained control of herself, she ejected the tape and held it carefully in her hands.
" Selphie, this tape holds our freedom!" She exclaimed, her eyes glittering and wide. " All we have to do is tell Squall what we know and how we came to know it. Then he'll drop the blackmail threats and we can pretend this never happened!"
" Okay...good enough..." Selphie mumbled, a bit upset that she wouldn't receive anything in return other than her freedom. All that time (in which in reality there really wasn't very much) down the drain.
She sighed.
*&*
They had arranged to meet Squall in the Quad where the exchange of the tapes would take place. Squall had been mortified that the two women had discovered one of his favourite past times, so he more than gladly agreed to the plan. He would become ruined if anyone found out what he really was like, and it had been so tedious to maintain his 'lone wolf/cool' reputation. Besides, the girls liked how distant he was.
He walked faster toward the Quad, glad that it was the last day of the Spring Festival. That way, no one would be in the Quad since they would rather be watching the fireworks and having a great time on the fair grounds. Squall, on the other hand, hated fun.
Once in the spacious room, he ran down the stairs but failed to notice Quistis, who was also not paying any attention to what (who) was behind her. As gravity had it, the two of them tumbled down the marble stairs quite painfully and ended on a heap at the bottom.
" ...Nice entrance..." Quistis remarked, holding onto the side of her head.
" Sorry," He mumbled back. Suddenly, they could hear snickering behind them and they turned their sore necks to see Selphie steadying herself on Seifer while they both were, sadly, attempting to hide their mirth.
" Okay, playtime's over!" Quistis hissed. She leapt up and kicked Squall who was conveniently still on the floor. " Give us the tape -now."
Squall scrambled up and grabbed Quistis's arm then dragged her to the side.
" Quis, how about the two of us forget about this...maybe over dinner?"
" What the hell?! No!" Quistis shouted, appalled that Squall would go to such lengths. For a moment she felt that it would have been better if they just showed the tape to the entire school body but then again...she also had a reputation to maintain.
"Listen Leonhart, you just give me the tape and I shall do the same," Quistis said slowly, her eyes travelling quickly from the object in Squall's leather clad hand to his steel eyes. Their eyes locked for a moment but Selphie broke their gaze by running up to the two of them, appearing fed up with their antics.
"Just give him the tape!" She shouted. "And that goes for you too, Squall!"
When they both hesitated, Selphie knew exactly what to do to get them going. She motioned for them to come closer to her and in a low voice, she informed the both of them that Seifer had not seen the tape as of yet...but he was beginning to become curious. Squall immediately handed Selphie the tape but Quistis still kept a firm grip on hers.
" I'll have no losses after showing Seifer the tape," She said, a smirk gracing her lips. She lifted the tape and glanced at Seifer who was standing on the second floor of the stairs. He certainly did look intrigued.
" Ah, but Quistis, if he sees Squall doing...you know...he'll never let you live it down!" Selphie said. " Remember, you had a crush on Squall!"
" I absolutely did not!" Quistis protested but the redness in her cheeks falsified her words.
" Oh, don't you lie to me!" Selphie shouted.
In the midst of the women fighting, Squall decided to take advantage of the situation. Quickly, he reached out and pulled the audio cassette from Selphie's hand and began to run out of the Quad.
" He's getting away!" Quistis cried out.
Seifer instantly darted to the direction that Squall was heading and tackled the younger man. Once again, Squall tumbled down the stairs but this time, the tape escaped his grasp and skidded across the floor. Selphie began to run towards it but Squall grabbed her by her boot and she fell flat onto her face. Seifer seemed to have become dazed by the fall because he was wobbling once he had gotten up. Deciding the less of them, the better, Squall jumped up despite the numbness in his legs and punched Seifer in the stomach. The blond man staggered before falling neatly on top of Selphie, thus making escape for her nearly impossible.
The tape was in front of him now. Only a few steps and he would have it. But then he remembered about Quistis and the other tape. The one with him and his...past time. She smirked, quite like Seifer, and waved the video cassette mockingly.
" Quistis, let's just call this even," Squall said, nervously looking from the tape on the floor to the one in her hand. " It's clear that you have the upper hand in this situation but, there comes a day when the right thing must be done."
A flicker of doubt was revealed in Quistis's eyes and she took a step back, not knowing what to do. Behind Squall was an entangled Selphie and Seifer, both of them looking at her expectantly. What would they have done? The answer was simple: resort to violence.
She sighed and took a long look at the black tape. Truth be told, she wouldn't want people to be viewing it. Such a terrible violation on someone's privacy, and she doubted that Squall would have revealed her relationship with Seifer anyway. Well then, there was only one thing to do. Yet before she could extend the tape to Squall, he went running towards the tape on the floor.
Quistis was always a better runner than Squall yet he had obviously been working out for they both reached the small tape at the same time. It was quite difficult to attempt to snatch the tape out of Squall's hands while holding onto the other. After a few more minutes of struggling, Quistis became fed up. She grabbed Squall by the collar and shoved him up onto the marble wall that surrounded the Quad.
" Give me the tape," She growled, and to add emphasis to her words, gave him a little shake by where she was gripping him. But Squall wasn't at all intimidated by her. She had left the video cassette on the nearby ledge and from what he could see, it was sliding slowly towards the ocean where the Garden was parked.
" You know Quistis," Squall said slowly, his eyes directed on the falling cassette. " Sometimes I think you managed to get the job of an Instructor at such a young age because you slept with Headmaster Cid."
" What?!" Although she was appalled by what Squall had said to her, she couldn't help but to think of how strange it was to hear something like that from him. Nevertheless, she still shoved him harshly into the wall. But instead on wincing, a grin spread onto Squall's face, making him appear insane.
" Why are you smiling like that?" Quistis asked apprehensively.
" Because what you had on me is gone." He cocked his head toward their right where Quistis could see the tape rocking back and forth on the very tip of the ledge. She instantly let go of Squall but did not manage to reach the tape before it plunged into the ocean.
Squall was smirking as he ran out but he had apparently forgotten about the heap that was Selphie and Seifer. Selphie, despite still being in pain, sprang up and threw her boot at Squall. It ricocheted off of his head and the tape escaped his grasp. The tape flew from his hand to the floor as if in slow motion.
" Nooooo!"
Squall dived after the cassette but didn't manage to grab the object before it slid underneath Quistis's foot.
" This ends here," She said rather calmly, then sent her heel onto the cassette, smashing it until only small pieces remained strewn across the tiled floor. Squall appeared almost sad but then he checked his watch and left the Quad. Seifer had fallen asleep where he had fallen and the girls simply decided to leave him there.
Selphie and Quistis, on the other hand, were ecstatic. Selphie had raved on for about an hour regarding how cunning Quistis was, and Quistis herself was simply glad that the whole ordeal was over and done with. But something was bothering her, and that was how on the tape she had there was a blue label, yet she was positive that the tape Selphie had shown her that day in the dormitory had a red label.
She shook her head, trying to dispose of all negative thoughts. It was over. Besides, if she continued to worry, she would look like a mess for her date with Seifer tomorrow night.
***Not So Many Days Later - And No, I DON'T Know When That Is!***
" Don't worry. We'll be out of here soon..." Irvine muttered as he continued to rummage through Selphie's closet. An hour ago, Rinoa had asked to borrow the movie Selphie had made when they had been celebrating Ultimecia's defeat. Irvine, being the kind and ever helpful boyfriend/fiance that he was, offered to retrieve the cassette for Selphie but he never thought that Selphie's closet would be even more disorganized and messy than her room was.
" Whatever man," Zell responded, leaning back in Selphie's swivel chair and continuing with his half circles.
" Hey, are these yours?" Irvine asked, pulling out a pair of boxers.
" No."
The both of them stared at one another and then at the boxers. After a few moments of silence, Irvine tossed them over his shoulder and continued to dig through the abyss that was Selphie's closet. It was not like there wasn't random girls bras residing in his closet. Besides, judging from the mould growing on the fabric and the holes, it must have been in there for a while, so there was no need to start fighting with Selphie about it.
He flung out a few empty pudding cups and finally came across a video cassette with a red label on it.
" I think I found it..." He said, getting up and stretching his legs.
" You think?"
" No writing on the label."
After throwing the cassette to Zell, Irvine walked towards the VCR to plug it in. He wanted to see the cassette before he gave it to Selphie, knowing well that Rinoa never returned things for at least a year. Zell threw the cassette back and Irvine slid it into the slot. Then he pressed 'play'.
In first few minutes, both of the men were speechless. They witnessed Squall pulling on his girlfriend's clothing, they witnessed the dancing -there was even a part where Squall had paused and began to put lipstick on.
" What...the...hell?" Irvine managed to utter, watching Squall dance around his dorm to what sounded like pop music. " Is that Squall?"
" ...Are those Rinoa's?" Zell asked, squinting his eyes and leaning forward. " I'm confused and my head hurts..."
They watched for a few moments more until Squall took off his shirt and swung it around in circles. That was when Irvine and Zell both rushed forward to shut off the VCR, but not before smacking their heads onto one another.
" ...So? What should we do about this tape?" Zell asked, bouncing the tape up and down in his hand. Irvine began to pace, not knowing what to do. He was scarred from that tape (Squall in drag?) but at the same time amused, almost like he had heard a dirty joke. Hyne, Squall must have been crazy to allow Selphie to tape him doing that, or whoever was holding the camera. Then again, it was taken from a low angle, as if it was on the floor.
Suddenly, he realised something.
" Zell...what do you think Squall would do to keep this tape out of the public's eye?"
And simultaneously, they both faced one another and grinned.
" Anything."
***The End***
The moral of this story is never to blackmail someone, or you'll pay the price. Or if you're like me, then this story has no moral and you can go ahead and blackmail whomever's ass and then laugh --laugh long and hard. ^_^
(a/n: Noooooo!!! The links didn't work! Well, if you go to rpgamer.com you'll be able to find the same pics. Plz review, even just to tell me if you were disturbed by how I portrayed Squall. *grins evilly* Ok, so I had too much time on my hands in summer school! Math is soooo boring!)