* * * * * * * * *
Giles knew that expression. He had seen it before, and it was always the same. Realisation was never a thing of beauty, bad news inevitable. When you are the Slayer you make your own luck; every day you cheat fate.
"It's her. It's got to be her." Buffy's face darkened at the news. "God, I thought she was safe. I took on the big bad. It's not like she hung round for the show."
"The big bad?" Giles queried the expression.
"Yeah, he…em…he had a few inches on me. Definitely ahead in the big stakes. And badder, too. Being a vampire and everything. Vampires, I mean. Lots of. All of them bigger. General big-ness."
Her disquiet confirmed Giles' suspicion of that morning, that the encounter had unsettled her more than she was prepared to admit. But he said nothing, choosing instead to address a different subject. "Will you take Dawn with you?"
"Dawn as in my little sister Dawn? No."
Giles looked surprised. "I thought we agreed that Dawn should be allowed to patrol sometimes."
"Yes, and now is not that time. Dawn is too trusting. Remember Chapter Hallowe'en in the Dawnmeister Chronicles? We have to get over the whole kissing vampires deal before we reach the killing them part." Buffy shifted, uncomfortably, as she said it.
"Buffy, she knew the vampire in question as a boy she'd encountered at a party. She's hardly going to be thrown off her guard by a familiar face round here."
"I'm not taking her, Giles, not here, not now. It's too dangerous." Buffy returned shortly, "This is between me and the evil undead. Undeads. More than one. The whole tribe."
"I think you'll find 'undead' was an adequate plural." Giles volunteered.
Buffy ran her fingers through her hair. "So who do I kill for information around here? Spike has been my route to the demon world for so long. I wouldn't know where to start looking for the man himself."
"I'm not sure it's in our interests to go through Spike, here, Buffy."
"Giles, it is always in my interest to go through Spike. Preferably with something sharp and wooden and not un-stake-y." Only the tiniest flicker at the back of her eyes told how nearly she had slipped up. She looked up, returning firmly to the matter in hand. "I'm good, I have an idea where I might find them." She paused. "Or where they might find me."
It did not take Buffy long to find the place she and Spike had fought the night before. She remembered, and it was not all she remembered. Standing there in the dimly-lit back street, she recalled another night, another street, one glorious, mad moment outside the Bronze. And she felt it, even now, his hand against her shoulder, holding her in a clasp so safe that the more she tried to lose herself in it, the more she knew she was found.
Suddenly she heard a sound behind her, and spun round.
"Slayer. We have something you want. I'm sure we can come to some arrangement."
But they had underestimated her, and in one short, sharp manoeuvre she had their spokesman pinned to the wall. "You wanna play? Fine. Here's the deal. You talk or you die. Where is he?"
"He? I thought you came for the girl."
Buffy shot the vampire a look of disdain. "I did."
"You want the girl back? You'll never get the girl back." He smiled, insidiously. "But you should take her home." He twisted his gaze over her shoulder, and called softly into the darkness. "Lycaena. The Slayer will see you home."
Buffy turned round, and there she was, the same girl she had seen with Spike the previous evening, and yet there was something about her that was somehow different. She flung the vampire to one side as she reached out for Elizabeth, taking her hands in hers as she moved to comfort her. But Elizabeth did not respond, and looking into her eyes, it struck Buffy suddenly she was looking into her own.
Karen and Martin, sleepless and harrowed, met the still silent Elizabeth with unqualified joy. But Buffy brushed aside their gratitude with an unease that Giles noted with concern, and did not forget.
Buffy slept long into the morning the following day, until she was woken eventually by the sound of the telephone ringing. When she appeared Giles reported the news. "It was Karen." He watched the colour drain from Buffy's face.
"Elizabeth?"
"Elizabeth is fine. But it seems we have another missing person on our hands. Karen's been trying to contact a friend of hers, who was staying with her sister-in-law, but it seems he went out last night and didn't return. He was helping Karen investigate the murder of her father, and of the girl - the suspected vampire killing she brought us here for." Buffy nodded, and Giles continued. "Karen's worried he may have found something out and got into some kind of trouble. Anyway, she doesn't want to put Elizabeth through anything more, so I said we would take care of it. We need to try and find her friend, who goes by the name – ironically enough – of Spike."
"Spike?" Buffy gasped.
"It's a common enough nickname."
"Yes, because the world is full of people who make their name torturing other people with railroad spikes."
"Oh, come on, Buffy, what's the chance of running into Spike here?"
"Given the chance I will be running into Spike right here," Buffy vowed, wickedly, pressing her clenched fist against her heart.
Giles smiled as he turned to go. "Oh Buffy? Lycaena, the name you heard the vampire use for Elizabeth? Apparently it's a species of butterfly. Not very helpful, I know, but I'll see what I can find out about where the name comes from."
* * * * * * * * *
The summer evening brimmed with life and energy. As the clouds raced the surf across the horizon, the sea kaleidoscoped from blue to steel, and, intermittently, the sun broke out across the water in a shower of diamonds. A biting wind chewed at the cliff face, and Spike was glad of the warmth of Martin's jacket, as glad as he had been of it the night before, huddled on the seafront amidst the bright lights of the hotels and the amusement arcades. Eventually he had slept, exhausted, but his sleep had been troubled by dreams: dreams so vivid, and sharp, that he knew they were more than dreams; they were memories. His past had returned to him, battered and broken, like remnants of a shipwreck carried by the tide. He remembered Angelus, and Darla, and Drusilla, and one fight in a New York subway tunnel that played over and over again, as if the girl, the brilliant, angry girl who had come so close to defeating him, was somehow significant. He remembered John Gardener, the journalist who had pushed his luck, the man who had dared to play him at his own game, risk, and fallen prey to the whim of Drusilla and his own, black-hearted joie de vivre.
But he did not remember her.
As he walked along the cliff top, he heard the screams and laughter below, and the words of Karen ran through his head. "That girl was killed by a vampire. You're not a vampire." Damn it, what am I then? he demanded of the sky above him. Suddenly, in amongst the mewing of the seagulls he heard something else, a faint cry barely audible above the sound of the sea.
"Help!"
He followed the path down as the cliff dipped towards the bay, calling out as he approached. "Where are you?"
"Hello? Is somebody there? Please, you have to help me."
He knelt down at the cliff edge, and leaning over saw just below him the crown of a dark, bedraggled head. She was a girl, and she was shivering, and beyond that all he knew was this: he had not saved Elizabeth. He had to save this girl.
"I'm here. Are you OK?"
"I'm stuck. I got cut off by the tide and tried to climb up here, but I got kinda wedged." The faintest tremor in her voice betrayed her anxiety.
Spike gripped the edge of the turf with one hand as he leaned over to offer her his free hand. "Can you reach?"
"Reach what?"
"Hang on." He edged further forward, supporting himself by clutching at a jagged spear on the rock face, as he reached down to take hold of her under her shoulders. "I've got you, alright?" Not far below the sea rocked back and forth at the foot of the cliff. "You're gonna have to use your feet." Spike held the girl tightly as he dug his knees firmly into the ground. Supported by his arms, she inched painstakingly up to safety.
Spike held out his jacket to her. "Here, put this on – you're cold."
She pushed her wet, salty hair out of her eyes, rubbing them in astonishment. "Spike?" She stared at him in amazement. "Spike, what…what on earth? You're here?"
"I get around." Spike answered casually, but inwardly he burned with curiosity.
The girl reached out to take the jacket from him. "Who'd you kill to get this?" She grinned. "I'm joking. Don't look at me like that. We have your coat. The nice one. Well, back in Sunnydale."
Spike longed to ask who she was, and what she meant, but something told him to play along with it, to find out what he could without throwing her off her guard. As they stood there the sun emerged from behind a cloud, flooding the cliff top with amber light. The girl pulled off the jacket hurriedly, and held it out towards him.
"Spike, quick, the sun!" She registered his lack of reaction in surprise. "Spike? Shouldn't you be all smokey by now?"
"I…em…no…English sun. Doesn't count. It's not…em…sunny enough. Unlike em…Sunnydale which is obviously…em…sunny."
"Whatever." She paused for a moment. "Don't let Buffy know you're here. She'll freak."
"Right."
"She told me what happened. Well, Xander did actually."
"He did, did he?" Spike did not have the remotest idea what she was talking about, but he was starting to enjoy himself. "Bloody Xander. Boy should learn to keep his mouth shut."
"What, you thought you could do something like that and everyone would just keep quiet about it and hope it would go away?"
"I…em…"
"You went away, Spike. Did you think you could get away from it, from what you are? You know you can't. Someday when you're least expecting it it's gonna come up and hit you."
Spike raised an eyebrow. "Look, you're not friendly with the little blonde chick are you?"
"Who?"
"Never mind."
"I have to get back." She set off along the path, but stopped, and turned back towards him, suddenly.
"Spike I…I think she understands. Why."
And she hurried away, as if she was afraid she had said something she shoudn't.
Dawn's return to Sylvia Newport's guesthouse was met with what, try as it might, wore admonishment only as a very transparent cover for relief. Buffy greeted her sister with a severity undermined by the warmth of her hug. "Dawn, where have you been? We've been here like, three hours, and already we can't account for two of them?"
"I went to the beach. You knew that."
Buffy put her hands on her hips in a gesture Dawn knew better than to oppose. "You didn't say you were moving in. What took you so long?"
"I got cut off by the tide." Dawn saw the alarm registered by both Buffy and Giles and put in quickly, "It's OK, really, I'm fine." She paused, unsure whether or not to share the rest of her story, but the temptation was too strong. "You will never believe who came to my rescue."
"Surprise us." Buffy prompted.
"You're not gonna like this." Dawn bit her lip. "It was Spike." She glanced at Buffy, anxiously. "Don't get mad."
Giles was astounded. "Spike? Here? In daylight? Are you sure?"
But to his surprise it was Buffy who answered, in a voice strangely matter-of-fact. "It was him, Giles. I…em…it was Spike. The vamp I fought the night before last. All unchipped and evil."
"And you tell us this now?" Giles felt entitled to a little mild indignation.
Dawn was surprised. "He didn't seem evil."
Buffy shrugged. "That's Spike. He likes to play the bloodlust kinda cool. Ask Will. Or Spike, for that matter."
"He seemed kind of confused," Dawn persisted.
"Spike? Confused? Well that's weird because I remember Spike being Mr Nice-And-Straightforward guy." Buffy smiled as she turned back to her sister. "Dawnie, you should go get changed out of those wet things."
As Dawn left the room Buffy turned to her watcher with renewed seriousness in her eyes. "Giles, this is bad. You don't think the Gem of Amara – "
Giles shook his head firmly. "It was destroyed, Buffy. Angel took care of that."
"Well what is this then? You're telling me they do Factor Vampire in the sun protection range now?"
"I'm as puzzled as you are, Buffy. And why would he be here?"
Buffy tossed her hair back from her face in exasperation. "Why do you think he's here? Why was he in London? What was he doing in Sunnydale in the first place? Come on Giles, this is Spike we're talking about. Remember Spike? You Slayer, me kill. Predictable, but you have to give the guy credit for consistency."
"Buffy, I think we can be fairly certain that killing you has fallen some way down Spike's list of priorities over the last year or so. And his behaviour to Dawn this afternoon suggests – "
"- That he's still the same twisted game player he's always been?" Buffy interrupted, her voice smouldering with sudden fury. "So he infiltrated, Giles, he led us all to believe he wanted something he didn't, to get what he really wanted, which has always been the one, same thing. Me, dead."
"But Buffy, I was there. When you…when you died. He wept, Buffy. He begged us to bury you after sunset so he could be there, did Dawn ever tell you that?"
"Of course he'd want to be there. He'd lived half his life for that moment."
Giles persevered. "Yours was the best guarded grave in all of California. He never said a word about it, but we knew. After we'd finished patrolling, when he wasn't watching Dawn, he would go and sit there, sometimes the whole night."
"And I would be touched, if it hadn't always been his greatest wish to dance on my grave."
"Buffy,
he fought side by side with us when you were gone. He took care of Dawn –
"
Buffy turned to Giles almost fiercely. "Why are you
defending him?"
"I'm not defending him. I'm just pointing out that Spike has been a useful ally in the past."
"Yeah, and with useful allies like Spike who needs enemies?"
Giles did not reply immediately, and when he did, he seemed almost reluctant to do so. "Buffy, have you considered the possibility that Spike may, somehow, be human?"
"What?"
"It's not impossible."
"Giles, I think I know a vampire when I come across one. Particularly this vampire. Besides, he had the whole super-strength thing going for him still."
"Are you sure?"
"He got away, didn't he?" And she walked over to the window.
Giles paused, before venturing, "Buffy, do you remember what you said about Glory? She told you she could squash you in a second, and yet she didn't. And you remember why?"
Buffy had her back to him, and did not answer.
"Because you had power over her, Buffy. You had power over her, because ... because you had something she wanted."
A palpable silence hung in the air. Giles turned to leave. He paused, briefly, as he took hold of the door handle.
"Buffy, is it so very preposterous that you might need something from him?"
But she was staring intently out of the window, and did not turn round, even when the door clicked shut behind him.
To be continued…