Disclaimer: All the BTVS characters are owned by the WB and Joss Whedon, who is great except for the fact that his show Firefly kicked Dark Angel off the air L . Please do not sue.

My family is a strange one. Normally families are a group of people who are related to one another by blood, the only two people related by blood in my family are me and my father but the others are family just the same. My birth mother died giving birth to me. I'm not sure that anyone really regrets this; she was dangerous, killing hundreds, perhaps thousands of people, she was a vampire. My Dad's a vampire as well only he has a soul so he doesn't kill people actually he helps people he's a private investigator who specializes in cases involving the supernatural, the firm's called Angel Investigations cause my Dad's name is Angel. He quit for a while but eh firm was never renamed because none of the others could agree on one. Dad rejoined the firm later but let the others be the bosses, though in reality I think he still is. The rest of my family are Wesley, Cordy, Fred, Gunn and Lorne. Wesley and Cordy knew my father when he lived in Sunnydale before I was born, when he helped the slayer, Buffy. Wesley was officially Buffy's watcher but she refused to listen to him, Cordy says it was because he had a stick up his butt. Wesley's cool know though he's the brains, he's always doing research in his demonology books to identify the demons that Cordy sees in her visions. Cordy and Dad are in love with each other I think. Cody's part demon because that was the only way that she could receive the visions from the Powers that Be without having them kill her. She can float. She got the visions from Doyle who gave them to her just before he gave up his life to save all these people. Dad said Cordy used to be a rich airhead back in Sunnydale, Gunn says that she still is an airhead sometimes, Cordy hit him when he said that. Gunn's from LA, he and his friends lived on the eh streets fighting vampires but his sister was turned and he joined the AI team, he's really cool and knows all about LA's hidden streets. Gunn and Fred are together which is really neat except that they're always kissing. But they also always creating new weapons or toasters. Fred's real name is Winifred and she's amazingly smart, like a human computer, She's a little strange but that might be because she was trapped in the demon dimension Pylea for five years as a slave. Dad and the others went there to rescue Cordy who had been sucked through a dimensional portal. She had been crowned queen though because of the visions but they managed to rescue Fred and made it back. Lorne is from Pylea but he hated it there because there was no music so he was thrilled when he was sucked through the portal and he ended up here. He runs a demon karaoke bar which is also a sanctuary which means no one can physically hurt one another in it. Lorne says it doesn't work with Dad because all Dad has to do is sing and everyone would run out screaming in pain. Dad didn't think that that was funny. Lorne can read their destiny, he says that I'm going to be an important in preventing the end of the world.

Dad and I live in an old hotel which use to be possessed by a paranoia demon which Dad, Cordy, Wesley and Gunn killed by electrocuting it. Sometimes the others crash at our place after a really tough fight and they all have there own rooms. Dad says Cordy should just move in which would be cool because Cordy's the best but Cordy says that she loves her apartment to much, its rent controlled and besides Phantom Dennis who's a ghost haunts it, would never forgive her if she left. Dad says its because Phantom Dennis is spending his unlife obsessing over her. But he doesn't say that when Cordy is near.

I have other family who live in Sunnydale California who aren't blood relations either but are like a whole group of Aunts and Uncles. There's Buffy who's the vampire slayer, Willow and Tara who are really powerful witches, Spike who's a vampire but he has a chip in his head so he can't hurt humans. Dad is actually his grandsire, so sometimes to annoy him I call him my nephew, he's funny and calls Dad, Peaches to irritate him. There's also Xander who's a really good fighter, he's married to Anya who's a thousand year old ex-vengeance demon, Dad says that their wedding was the weirdest thing that he had ever seen and that's saying something because he's over two hundred years old. Xander and Anya have a daughter called Hope who is one of my best friends. We get to visit each other at least twice a year and sometimes our other best friend Xand, who lives in New Mexico come too. The final person is Dawn who's Buffy's sister and a writer, she's also special like Hope, Xand and me.

My family is really neat and there's no other family life it in the world."

"Conner what was the assignment for today?"

"To present an accurate description of our families."

"And did you do that?"

"Yes."

"No Conner. I want you to write a truthful account of your family, no vampires, demons of ghost and present it to me tomorrow. All right."

"But.."

"Conner."

"Yes Mrs. Partage."

"Good. Class dismissed." The twenty-three members of Mrs. Partage's 1st grade class rushed out of the room scrambling with jackets and bags. The school yard was filled with parents chatting as children rushed about.

"Conner, Hey Conner." Conner pushed his red hair out of his bright green eyes. Alanna, a girl from his class ran up to him.

"That was so cool, your family story. So much better than everyone else's. Mrs. Partage is dumb." Alumna's indignation over the teacher was strident and Conner smiled.

"Thanks."

"Is your dad really a private investigator."

"Yup. He's really good at it too." Conner beamed at Alanna, his family as his favorite subject.

"Cool, my dad's a historian." Alanna looked disgusted

"I think that's neat. Dad says that history's really important and Wesley's always doing research into the history of stuff."

"I guess." Alanna brightened slightly.

"Conner, ready to go?"

Alanna turned to look at a tall woman with dark hair and really cool cloths.

"Yup. Oh Alanna this is Cordy."

"Nice to meet you." Alanna looked carefully Conner had said that Cordy was part demon and could see the future but Cordy looked normal.

"See you Alanna." Conner waved and the two walked over to the black convertible. Alanna suddenly stared at Cordy's feet, none of the leaves under them moved, like her feet never actually touched the ground.