Sorry this chapter was so delayed. I actually got married during my hiatus. I hope you guys enjoy this chapter!

Chapter 4:

Something snapped within me, who did this man think he was? To try to sex shame me, is it sex shaming if there is a lack of sex? "To be quite honest with you, I didn't tell you because frankly, I don't know you!" I am beyond embarrassed and annoyed. "The fact that you are coming at me with this much attitude over the fact that I don't just put my business on display for everyone and their mother." Christian's eyes widened, I think I'm the first woman to talk to him like this in a long time. I felt powerful knowing that I am probably one of the only people who had a back bone with him. He has deserved every bit of my wrath. "I haven't signed anything Mr. Grey, I don't owe you an explanation for shit."

"Anastasia, I didn't mean to offend you, truly."

"Honestly Christian, I think you did!" I rolled my eyes at him exasperated by this conversation. "Yes Christian, I want you, more than you know." I begin to stand up, "but, this just won't work for me. I already know that this arrangement is better suited for someone else."

"Anastasia, take a couple of days to think about it. We could work something out."

"No, just as this is the only relationship you are interested in. This is a relationship I am not interested in." I knew I wasn't exactly looking for a new life partner but I also am not exactly jumping at the opportunity to be beaten. "I appreciate your time and the wine but I think it's time for me to leave."

He stood with me walking me to the elevator. He grabbed my Verizon bag off the jacket rack and handed it to me. "I will walk you out."

"That's not necessary."

"I want to make sure you make it to your car safely." Christian and I step into the elevator. As soon as the doors close I can feel the tension again. My pride is still injured. That doesn't stop my core from reacting to the lack of space between us. I feel the electricity, the hairs on my arms stand straight up. My panties also begin to dampen. My body keeps betraying me. All I want to do is wrap myself around him. To feel his hand travel up my legs and over my breasts. The ache for need is intense.

"Are you sure this is the decision you want to make?" Christian whispers as the elevator doors open. "Because once you get in that car there is no coming back." I felt sick thinking of the fact that I won't touch him. Did I want to walk away, no, but I don't want to be ordered around. I don't want my next relationship to be one that is destined to end. I can't handle another heartbreak like that, because I will be hurt. Whether that be physically or mentally.

"Yes, we just don't want the same things."

"How do you know if you don't try?"

"Because I don't want to be punished for anything." We stop in front of my car, and I turn to face him. "Thank you anyway for the evening. I do appreciate the company." I walk to the driver's side and throw my bag into the passenger seat.

"Anastasia." He says with a twist of emotions on his face, it is as if he wants to say more.

"Christian." I climb in and shut the door. I put my keys in the ignition and drove away. The pit of almost guilt settled in my stomach. I walk into the apartment, almost slamming the door behind me. I am met with the naked ass of Elliot Grey.

"Jesus, Kate. When did your ass become so hairy?" I tease walking past them, grabbing my door handle. I am pleased someone can be happy with a Grey. Even if it's not me, that realization that it won't be me hits hard.

"Sorry, Ana!" Elliot calls behind me causing Kate to giggle. They made no rush to move from their positions on the couch. I leave the two love birds to continue to taint the couch we both use daily. I fall into bed and into my feelings.

Life continues on like it did before Christian. I am sitting at the kitchen table watching Kate cook, well attempt to cook that is. Elliot joined us tonight for dinner, he and Kate spend a lot of time together lately.

"Food is almost ready!" She calls over her shoulder, Elliot walks into the kitchen to start grabbing bowls to help her dish up. Her infamous macaroni and cheese is on the menu tonight. Kate's secret ingredient is that it's made by Kraft. We eat and laugh a lot. It was nice having him around the apartment. He and Christian are so different it is almost strange. Elliot is all smiles and just carefree. It makes me sad for Christian, my heart aches a bit as I let myself slip back into my head. Stabbing the food in front of me, I look up at the sound of my name.

"I'm sorry, what?" I laugh, embarrassed as I realize I had zone out.

"My family is having a little fundraiser, I was saying you should come." Elliot laughs, bumping my shoulder with his.

"Oh really, what are they raising money for?"

"Starving children." He says nonchalantly, like it's so common. "We have it every year." Which made more sense.

"Of course Ana will come," Kate turns to me with a wide smile. Which I meet with a scowl, "anything for the kids? Right Ana?" If looks could kill Kate would be a pile of ash right now. She didn't know everything that happened with Christian but she knew enough not to be throwing me to the wolves like this. If she knew the full story she wouldn't even be attempting to put us in the same room.

"Yes," Turing to Elliot, I plaster a big fake smile. "Anything for the kids."

"Great! It's this Saturday at 6pm." He grabs our empty bowls, "You are more than welcome to bring a plus one too." He must know that Christian and I have decided to not see each other. I nod, giving him a thumbs up. Who would I even bring, because I am definitely not going solo.

"Kate!" I slam her bedroom door open after I hear Elliot leave the next morning. "1, I don't have anything to wear for a freaking fundraiser full of rich people!"

"You can borrow one of my dresses." She replies simply as she continues typing on her laptop not even glancing up at me.

"2, who will I even bring? I can not show up to this alone!" I drag my hand down my face. "That will just make me look desperate, like I am there for him."

"You can bring Ethan, he is in town this weekend and he adores you." That was almost a soothing thought, Ethan was also quite nice to look at and like a brother to me.

"I can't believe you volunteered me for this!" I turned away and what Kate said next caught my attention.

"You think this is bad? You don't want to know what I volunteered you to do at the fundraiser." I stopped and thought about asking what she was talking about but I found it best to just leave it alone.

"Stop wiggling!" Kate scolded pinning in the last couple pieces of my hair into my updo. We had settled on a light blue long dress for me. It had thin straps and was a silk material. Kate is wearing a dark red, strapless, heart shaped long gown. She is rocking her elegant 'Ariana Grande' ponytail. She has always been stunning but all dolled up she is drop dead gorgeous.

"Ladies?" Ethan knocks at the door, "the limo is here, are you almost ready?"

"Yes, just finishing up!" Kate tugs me out of my chair making us almost eye to eye. "Repeat after me, I am sexy!" I can feel my face twist as I cringe, feeling uncomfortable by the compliment. "Say it!"

"Kate…" I whine knowing she's trying to do her 'words' of encouragement. If you believe it, you can achieve it. Or some type of bullshit like that.

"I am sexy." I repeat back trying not to be immature and make a gagging noise.

"Christian will fall at my feet tonight and be envious of Ethan being on my arm!" She continues in a peppy slow rhythm.

"I told you I ended it with him, not the other way around." Knowing that she is insinuating that she thinks things changed for him not me. She probably assumes I am just brushing my hurt feelings under the rug to save her and Elliot any type of grief.

"Of course you did!" She hugs me, "I just want to make sure you will be alright tonight!" I hug her back breathing in her Angel by Mugler perfume. "I love you Ana Banana!"

"I love you too Kater Tot."

"Okay, ladies we have to go or we will be late." Ethan says through the door again.

"We are coming!" I follow Kate out the door. Elliot and Ethan sit on the couch, the boys whistle dramatically. Wolf howling as we make our entrance into the living room. We strike our poses showing off how good we look. Laughing as Ethan gets on his knees making a fake camera out of his hands while his mouth mimics camera shutter noises.

"You two are absolutely stunning!" Elliot walks over taking Kate's hands and admires her adoringly at an arm's length before leaning over and kissing her on the nose. They are so sweet I almost rolled my eyes at the sight.

"Beautiful Ana." I feel big arms bear hugging me as he lifts me off my feet. Giggling uncontrollably I swat Ethan's arm with my free hand.

"Put me down you buffoon!"

"Never!" He starts making his way to the door as if he threatens to walk the whole way to the limo like this.

"Ethan! I swear when you put me on my feet again I will kick you in the shin!" I jokingly threaten with my most believable angry voice.

"Empty threats don't scare me, baby." He laughs and I feel it vibrating through his chest. Ethan and I have always been close. We were practically related at this point. Both him and I live to bug one another. Kate locks the door behind us as he continues to carry me this way to the elevator finally setting me on my feet. I was so thankful our friend Jose was able to dog sit for us for the weekend with such a last minute request. I always feel bad leaving her with others but she loves everyone so it's not too bad. "I have the most jaw dropping date." He whispers in my ear, I lightly slap him on the chest.

"Well shucks, little old me." I use my hand as a fan and waltz around like a southern belle.

I can't believe Elliot paid a limo to take us all the way from our apartment to Seattle. We did all get hotels for tonight but still that drive alone must have been expensive. Pulling up in front of a beautiful tall white home. There are lights not only decorating but lighting the way to an extravagant and large white tent. This is no ordinary tent. It is layered with detailed curtains draping the entrance where two large men dressed in black suits escort the guest into the fundraiser. Across the tent a band plays for a few guests who are already dancing. Looking to the ceiling I notice beautiful crystal chandeliers are dimly lit giving just the right ambience.

"Elliot!" A taller stunning brunette woman makes her way over to us.

"Mother." Stepping into her embrace kissing her on each cheek. "This is Kate. Kate, this is my mother Grace." She gushes, throwing her arms around Kate.

"Mrs. Grey, it's a pleasure to meet you!"

"Oh no my dear, Mrs. Grey is my awful mother in law! Please call me Grace!" She turns to us and smiles brightly. "Are these your friends?"

"Yes this is my brother Ethan and my best friend Anastasia."

"Thank you for coming, it's so amazing to meet you both as well." Grace kisses both of my cheeks and then Ethan's.

"No, thank you for having us!" I looked from her to the event she was throwing. "This is absolutely breathtaking!"

"I appreciate your kind words. I do love a good party." Grace gives me a wink with a sly smile to join it. "You all have a lovely evening, I will join up with her after I schmooze with some of my other guests." She saunters away, I can tell she's not only stunning on the outside but on the inside too. We continue towards one of the empty tables, each grabbing a glass of champagne off a silver tray being carried around by the wait staff. A young woman in a long silk white gown moved through the people with ease. Making her way toward us, she has elegantly cropped black hair and a delicate black wing liner accentuating her chocolate brown eyes. Throwing her arms up in the air with theatrics.

"Oh, mon grand frère, comme tu m'as manqué!" This mystery woman says in perfect french, I assume not actually speaking it myself, while draping her arms over Elliot, also kissing him on both cheeks.

"Mia, you live in France one year and you would think you've lived there your whole life." Elliot chuckles while turning to face us all. "This is my baby sister Mia, Mia these are my guests." Kate walks up to her first sticking out her hand.

"Mia, I'm Kate, it's so nice to finally meet you."

Mia smacks her hand away playfully with a scoff. "Please we are lovers in this family! Give me a hug! I've heard so many things about you!"

"Hopefully all good." Kate laughs embracing Mia back with just as much enthusiasm. This was a family of such genuine and caring people. It makes me wonder how Christian ended up so closed off and cold. What happened to him to make him so different from these wonderful people? "This is my brother Ethan," Kate interrupts my thoughts when she starts introducing us. Ethan scratches her hand with speed and kisses it lightly. I watch his eyes twinkle with desire when he looks at her. Something in my stomach flutters and then is replaced with sadness. All of my friends are finding love interests with this family but me. I am incredibly happy for them as well but it's almost a tinge of jealousy because they wouldn't even have this opportunity if I hadn't met Christian first. "And this is my best friend, Ana!" I step forward matching her two cheek kisses understanding this is a standard greeting for the Greys.

I find myself mesmerized by her smile. "It is so amazing to meet you all!" She claps her hands and promises to catch up with us after finding her friends amongst the crowd. Looking around the lavish party tent my eye catches Christian making his entrance. Of course he is as jaw dropping as ever. A well tailored black suit and purposely tousled copper hair. His beauty makes me ache with desire. As I run my eyes over him, I meet his intense narrowed gaze. It feels as though I've been electrocuted. I follow his eyes to Ethan, who has my arms folded into his. He's always been great at making me feel as special as any other woman. Ethan is nothing but a true gentleman. Christian clenched his jaw while pulling his eyes back to mine. Our stare is broken by Mia and Grace saying their hellos to him. I couldn't help but notice he came alone to this event but then again I don't know why I'm surprised. He doesn't date so why would he have one? I'm sure he's not bringing his submissives to meet his family. I try to bring my attention back to my group's conversation, smiling as if I have been engaged the whole time. I can feel his presence before I see him. Elliot stands to greet his brother. Christian says his hello to Kate who then introduces him to Ethan. Ethan stands taking Christian's hand.

"Nice to meet you Mr. Grey." As formal as possible and I notice Christian makes no move to tell Ethan to call him Christian.

"Likewise." Looking past Ethan to me.

"Anastasia, lovely to see you again." I swiftly nod.

"Pleasure as always Christian."

"Why don't you sit with us, bro." Elliot calls to him as Christian turns to leave. A shiver of fear went through me. The only seat available at this table is next to me. Right next to me. His eyes meet mine almost asking if it was okay. I give a small smile letting him know I won't bite or throw a fit. Christian takes his spot next to me and my breath hitches as his arm gently grazes mine. The feeling sends a response through my core. Damn it when did I become such a horn dog!

"Hello, hello, hello." I turn my attention to the stage where Grace stands in front of her guests. "Thank you everyone for joining us tonight." She is a presence on that stage. "We are so appreciative of your support and donations to our charity. I, as a mother of three beautiful adoptive children, understand just how important this work is. Not every child out there gets a chance to be with a family who loves them unconditionally or who can afford to care for them the way they deserve." I am stunned, I forgot Christian was adopted. When researching Grey Enterprises and Holdings I remember reading it but it slipped my mind. Maybe that's why he's so guarded, maybe he didn't have the initial love and support the way Elliot and Mia did. "My very own child, Christian." She directs her arm to where he is seated and all eyes in the room turn to him. Including me, shifting in my seat to look at him. He nods his head slightly, an awkward smile forming on his lips. "He has stated many times before, but he also knows what it is like to go hungry. When we first adopted him I couldn't imagine how that beautiful baby boy could have ever experienced such a thing. I have made it my mission to help as many children as possible." The room erupts into applause. "Now for our auction tonight, we are, as my daughter says "mixing it up"." She laughs using air quotes. "We have 5 beautiful women who have volunteered to auction off their first dances." Then it hits me, whipping my head to Kate who is smiling at me widely. "The ladies who have volunteered for tonight's event please come up on stage?" I watch Kate stand and she gestures for me to join her. My head starts shaking viciously from side to side. This will not be happening, I feel Ethan pinch me lightly under the arm. Making me jump in surprise. People's eyes are on me instantly, making it to where I can't back down now. That would look rude. Sheepishly I follow Kate, Mia, and two stunning redheaded twins in almost identical olive dresses. We all stand in a straight line shoulder to shoulder. Grace walks up to one of the twins with the microphone. "Say your name, age, and then something fun about yourself." A wide smile spreads across her freckled face.

"My name is Jacqueline Thomas, I am 27 years old, and I specialize in special effects makeup." I start to panic as I realize that I have to talk about myself in front of people. My breathing starts to quicken, I will soon start hyperventilating if I can't calm down.

"My name is Naomi Thomas, I'm 27 years old, and I am a 3 time Bikini Olympia Champion." Jesus these women are doing amazing things. What am I supposed to say, hi I'm Ana and I sell phones.

"My name is Katherine Kavanaugh, I am 25 years old, and I'm a reporter." We are getting so close to me.

"I'm Mia Grey, I am 23 years old, and I'm a wiz in the kitchen!" FUCK, I can't do this. Before I can catch my breath the microphone is in my face.

"I um…" I swallow the lump forming in my throat. Terror seizing me as I look out at all these strangers. "My name.." looking through the crowd I find a pair of calming grey eyes. I know they should have a different effect on me but my nerves ease a bit. "I'm Anastasia Steele," I trace my tongue over my lips adding moisture to them. "I am 25 and.." I say the first thing that comes to my head. "I'm a college drop out." Everyone is dead silent. There is no applause for me like there was for the other girls. Just a bunch of uncomfortable stares. I look to Christian and see a slight smirk dancing on his lips. Ethan and Elliot are doubled over in laughter. "I'm also socially awkward." I shrug.

"Alright," Grace says lightly, touching my shoulder. "We will start the bidding with Jacqueline."

"$150"

"$250"

"$300"

I listen as each woman on stage with me gets high bids. Elliot of course won a dance with Kate and Ethan won one with Mia. Then the bidding on me starts, surprisingly someone calls, "$1,000."

"Wow, so generous, Anastasia's first dance goes to Christian Grey! Each pair can now make their way to the dance floor, come collect your prize." Though it's for a good cause, I don't know how I feel about being called a prize or that I was something to be won. I follow the women off the stage as they go to find their dance partners. Christian stands at the bottom of the stage waiting for me. He takes my hand and his lips lightly brush over my knuckles causing butterflies in my stomach. My nipples harden in response to his mouth on me. Imagining him on his knees, my thighs resting on his shoulders. My fingers locked in his copper hair, his mouth teasing my pussy.

I follow him to the middle of the dance floor. He puts his hands on my waist. I clench my core with the heat of his hands causing my breath to hitch. I drape my arms around his shoulders and necks. I feel him stiffen a bit at the contact. Maybe he is as affected by me as I am by him. "How is your evening?" I ask, trying to fill the silence.

"It just got interesting."

"Thank you for saving me from embarrassment by the way." I look up at him under my lashes, feeling his eyes on me the whole time. I've been glancing around the room to avoid this part.

"Embarrassment?"

"Yeah, after saying I'm a college drop out I figured most men wouldn't be jumping at the bit for a dance with me." Shrugging with an uneasy laugh.

"Well, it so happens Ana," his eyes are burning yet soft. It's almost eerie how he dances the fine line of making me feel unsettled and safe all at once. "I too am a college drop out, and I would say I still am successful." Wow, his bio said he went to Harvard but it didn't mention he never graduated. I can feel my smile widen, this knowledge did relax me a lot. "Also, any man would feel lucky to dance with you. You look stunning tonight, that's why I had to start my bid high. So no one could out bid." His mouth now centimeters from my ear. "I was not risking another man's hands on you." I stopped breathing for a second. Heat pooling to my core, my pussy throbbing at his words. They shouldn't, who was he to think no man could be with me. I should feel appalled at the display of toxic masculinity. It was probably the lack of sexual attention over the years but I couldn't feel anything but heat. "I can feel the tension in your body Ana." I clench my hands together around his neck so he doesn't feel them tremble. "I know you want it as much as I do."

"Christian." It comes out fainter than I wanted. "Yes, I do want you. Everytime you walk into the room my body responds. My body craves you like it craves water on a summer's day." I can almost feel his smug smile, he's thriving off being right. "But, we do not actually want the same things. Though, I do not want love, as you have also stated your detest for it. I also do not want to be beaten in the bedroom." I whisper the last part knowing that this is a sensitive subject to be talking about in public.

"Anastasia, that is what the contract is for. We can negotiate terms." Wow, he must really want to fuck me. I would be stupid to think it was anything but sex for him. This man is practically pleading for me to reconsider. Look at him. He could pick any girl from this crowded room. I could guarantee not one would say no to him.

"So what happens when I break the "rules", I am bound to. If we ixnay all the punishments, how do you have any actual control over this situation?"

"Miss Steele." He chuckles a bit at my question. "I have other ways I can punish you or control the situation besides hitting you." Fuck this man just knew how to talk. It wasn't what he was saying. It was how he was saying it.

"Okay, punishments aside. Though, I don't want a long term commitment. I also would like to get to know the man who wants to, as the kids say, dick me down. You don't do anything besides "fucking hard" if I recall correctly."

"We can negotiate dinners or movies. Whatever you need to feel comfortable with me, dicking you down." He mocks back to me. Before I know it the song is over. He releases my waist and raises one eyebrow at me waiting for my response. Following him off the dance floor and back to the vacant table.

"What made you change your mind?" I turned in my chair so we were face to face. "I thought if I walked away that was it."

"To be completely honest, I can't stop thinking about you." I am stunned, it was probably just a line. I am almost sure of that. I scoff not on purpose just out of sheer disbelief. Annoyance dances on his features as his eyebrows raise, completely caught off guard by my response.

"Christian, let's be real. You can get any woman you want. You only want me because I turned you down. What happens when you realize that I don't provide what you need?"

"I want to try at least before we write this feeling off as a lost cause." A chair leg scratches as our table guests return back from dancing. I hadn't noticed that dinner was being served. Plates are being set by the wait staff. What looked like pan seared chicken, oven roasted potatoes, and vegetables were set in front of me. I say a quiet thank you to my server. Happy chatter happening all around me as people dig in. I was too deep in my racing thoughts to start eating. Something lightly brushes my knee. I side eye Christian as I realize it's his hand, he places the whole hand over my knee with a firmer touch. I start panting as he slowly rubs his thumb over my thigh. My eyelids flutter closed, he starts dragging his hand up my thigh slowly. The sensation is torture. Sweet, sweet torture. A dull ache starts to pulse through my clit. I can feel myself slicken between my things as his hand starts to stroke me over my dress, right where my hip and my thigh v. I bite my lower lip to stop myself from moaning. "Come home with me tonight." His voice coated in lust, the sexual torture his hand is inflicting was driving me to act crazy. My head nods before my brain fully understands what I am agreeing too. His hand cups my sex and palms me over my dress. The mixture from the warmth of his hand and the silk material against my panties has my legs shaking under the table. I need him and fuck a good orgasm too.