A/N: This is a story I wrote with the inspiration of a story in YM. I hope you like it!
Disclaimer: I do not own CLAMP or CCS, only the characters that I have made up.
The Plank We Walked For Reality
Chapter Two
Just seeing her over his grave is enough for me to brake down inside. I know I don't have much time left myself for I am letting go of this cruel word and giving into temptation of death though I know Sakura wouldn't allow it. She didn't allow it from the one she truly loved, she will not allow it from me.
I haven't told her yet about my illness. She has been through too much for me to tell her and make her worry about me. Sometimes I think back when we were ten when the whole crew were together laughing and having such a great time even though most of the time it was just Meiling and me. I grew accustomed to it after a while though knowing that Sakura was happy with who she was with. I couldn't help but feel a little down inside for I knew she would never be mine. Though, now I look back and notice that my feelings for my best friend were only mutual I just can't help but think that there might have been something there. Something more than just mutual friendship.
When we were eleven I knew that Sakura would have her true love because she was just so nice and perfect. She had everything that anyone would want: a smile 24/7, perfect personality, athletic, spontaneous reactions, beautiful eyes, everything. But the only thing she didn't have was a mom and that is why I don't want to let her know what is happening to me. She lost her mother, Syaoran, and now almost me. I just couldn't bare her suffering from all of this. I know that if I don't say anything it will only hurt her more but I think she will understand and hopefully she won't suffer.
And now that I think back, I couldn't help but make Sakura happy every step she took. I know she probably thought that I was a burden of some sort but it doesn't matter to me. Just as long as she is happy then I am happy.
And now I'm looking out of the Li family mansion watching every step she takes to the grave to send a letter to the unknown for Syaoran. He's lost. I know it. For some time now I have been receiving messages from the dead and confused asking me for help, to try and get them on the right path after death. Most of them are suicidal like Syaoran. I hate to call him that but that is what he is now that he is in between Heaven and Hell. He was confused when he thought of his decision without Sakura. He told me one night in my dreams and that's when I told Sakura to write him. I told her to cast a spell to send the letter to him to help him get through this. I hope it helps.
The day we found out that he left this world called Earth Sakura nearly broke to pieces. She wouldn't talk to anyone, wouldn't eat, couldn't sleep. I don't know how she got through it but she did and without anyone's help, that I know of. Lately she has been acting very odd. When you mention ghost, she isn't scared. She isn't even scared of the dark anymore. I think it's because Syaoran might be here somewhere looking after her but how? He isn't in Heaven to have the power to do so and in Hell you burn for eternity so how could he be back? He can't. I just wish Sakura would talk to me once in a while now.
Even though sometimes I can feel the presence of ghost I know that these are angels looking after us. They know I'm about to go and they know Sakura is having a rough time. Some time after Syaoran's death is when I started to get these visions of lost souls and betrayed feelings. I was dreaming or I thought I was. I was in a dark corridor filled with floating souls but I wasn't scared. It was almost as if I was intended to go into the unknown and help lost ones. Maybe it's because I'm one of them. One of the lost souls. That's what I think.
Outside, everything is black and it's in the middle of the day. I can see Sakura hovering over the grave of her beloved chanting the spell to send him the letter. I never knew that something this simple could be so harsh on someone. A glistening tear I see. She must be crying and I want to help so much but I know she will only push me away; she wants to do this alone.
So now I guess I'm signing off. I feel a little faint. That illness of mine is really getting to me. So until later...
Love,
Tomoyo
P.S.- In case I never get to tell you, I love you so much you just don't know. If anything should happen to me be sure to comfort Sakura for me will you? Later, Eriol.
______
Disclaimer: I do not own CLAMP or CCS, only the characters that I have made up.
The Plank We Walked For Reality
Chapter Two
Just seeing her over his grave is enough for me to brake down inside. I know I don't have much time left myself for I am letting go of this cruel word and giving into temptation of death though I know Sakura wouldn't allow it. She didn't allow it from the one she truly loved, she will not allow it from me.
I haven't told her yet about my illness. She has been through too much for me to tell her and make her worry about me. Sometimes I think back when we were ten when the whole crew were together laughing and having such a great time even though most of the time it was just Meiling and me. I grew accustomed to it after a while though knowing that Sakura was happy with who she was with. I couldn't help but feel a little down inside for I knew she would never be mine. Though, now I look back and notice that my feelings for my best friend were only mutual I just can't help but think that there might have been something there. Something more than just mutual friendship.
When we were eleven I knew that Sakura would have her true love because she was just so nice and perfect. She had everything that anyone would want: a smile 24/7, perfect personality, athletic, spontaneous reactions, beautiful eyes, everything. But the only thing she didn't have was a mom and that is why I don't want to let her know what is happening to me. She lost her mother, Syaoran, and now almost me. I just couldn't bare her suffering from all of this. I know that if I don't say anything it will only hurt her more but I think she will understand and hopefully she won't suffer.
And now that I think back, I couldn't help but make Sakura happy every step she took. I know she probably thought that I was a burden of some sort but it doesn't matter to me. Just as long as she is happy then I am happy.
And now I'm looking out of the Li family mansion watching every step she takes to the grave to send a letter to the unknown for Syaoran. He's lost. I know it. For some time now I have been receiving messages from the dead and confused asking me for help, to try and get them on the right path after death. Most of them are suicidal like Syaoran. I hate to call him that but that is what he is now that he is in between Heaven and Hell. He was confused when he thought of his decision without Sakura. He told me one night in my dreams and that's when I told Sakura to write him. I told her to cast a spell to send the letter to him to help him get through this. I hope it helps.
The day we found out that he left this world called Earth Sakura nearly broke to pieces. She wouldn't talk to anyone, wouldn't eat, couldn't sleep. I don't know how she got through it but she did and without anyone's help, that I know of. Lately she has been acting very odd. When you mention ghost, she isn't scared. She isn't even scared of the dark anymore. I think it's because Syaoran might be here somewhere looking after her but how? He isn't in Heaven to have the power to do so and in Hell you burn for eternity so how could he be back? He can't. I just wish Sakura would talk to me once in a while now.
Even though sometimes I can feel the presence of ghost I know that these are angels looking after us. They know I'm about to go and they know Sakura is having a rough time. Some time after Syaoran's death is when I started to get these visions of lost souls and betrayed feelings. I was dreaming or I thought I was. I was in a dark corridor filled with floating souls but I wasn't scared. It was almost as if I was intended to go into the unknown and help lost ones. Maybe it's because I'm one of them. One of the lost souls. That's what I think.
Outside, everything is black and it's in the middle of the day. I can see Sakura hovering over the grave of her beloved chanting the spell to send him the letter. I never knew that something this simple could be so harsh on someone. A glistening tear I see. She must be crying and I want to help so much but I know she will only push me away; she wants to do this alone.
So now I guess I'm signing off. I feel a little faint. That illness of mine is really getting to me. So until later...
Love,
Tomoyo
P.S.- In case I never get to tell you, I love you so much you just don't know. If anything should happen to me be sure to comfort Sakura for me will you? Later, Eriol.
______