Chapter 2

When they met in Central Perk that evening, the friends had very different things to recount about their day. Rachel was so keen to tell them how much she was learning that she was in danger of becoming boring, but luckily Monica intervened to head her off before too long.

'Rachel, sweetie, this is all very interesting for you,' she said, 'but I for one know a lot about it already. How was your day, Joey? You're looking a little down.'

'I don't know what's the matter with me,' he moaned. 'There I was on this advertising shoot, with all these hot chicks around, and I just couldn't seem to get up the nerve to ask one for a date. And they didn't show much interest in me either, like I was projecting something that turned them off. I can't understand it.'

'Gee, Joey, that's too bad,' said Rachel, with slightly fake-sounding sympathy.

'What makes it worse is the way Chandler's behaving,' said Joey grumpily. 'Suddenly I'm the one without dates and he's all over the place: Aurora this evening, Janice tomorrow, who knows who next.'

'Well, maybe you've used up your dating allowance,' said Ross.

'What's that supposed to mean?' said Joey.

'Don't you think there might be some power that oversees our love-lives, and it's decided, Joey Tribbiani has exceeded his quota for this year?' said Ross.

Phoebe snorted. 'Like that could be possible. I'm surprised at you, Ross, peddling such twaddle. Or are you funning?'

Ross drew in a breath, as if he was about to state loud and clear that of course he was funning, but then he looked at Phoebe in an affectionate way and let it out again. 'Well, I was, actually,' he said mildly. 'Say, Pheebs, do you want to go and look at those fossils?'

'Oh, cool!' cried Phoebe. 'Lead me to them!' Both bade the others farewell and departed.

'So, how about you, Mon?' said Joey. 'How was your day?'

'Oh, so-so,' she said. 'The head chef seemed to be on my tail half the time. I'm beginning to feel that I don't like being pushed that much, but that's the way things are in big restaurants – it's pressure, pressure, pressure.'

Rachel shook her head. Here was Monica going strange again. Only the week before she had been deriding some of her co-workers for bitching about the pressure from the head chef, and saying that that was what it took to be a good chef, you had to be able to cope with pressure and to know how to apply it to your assistants.

'I feel like doing something really relaxing and stupid,' Monica continued. 'Say, Joey, do you know any games we can play, with a minimum of rules and no requirement for brain power?'

Joey grinned. 'I don't know any other kind. Come on upstairs, and we'll see what takes your fancy.'

Rachel went along with some misgivings, knowing how competitive Monica could be, but tonight she did not seem like that at all. When they played one of the boys' crazy ball games and she missed, she just laughed. When they played card games and she lost, she laughed again and derided her own lack of card sense. They spent a very pleasant evening, during which Chandler did not reappear. Evidently his 'date' with Aurora had turned into an extended encounter.

Rachel had also noticed that, in a quiet sort of way, Monica seemed to be coming on to Joey. When they finally returned to their own apartment, she commented on this.

'I suppose maybe I was,' said Monica. 'Don't you think he's much more attractive now he's not Mr. I'm So Sexy any more?'

'Can you really imagine dating Joey?' said Rachel. 'I mean, I love the guy, but he is a bit dumb.'

'I think he's very sweet,' said Monica a bit fiercely. 'You lay off poor Joey. He needs encouragement now.'

'Okay, Mon,' said Rachel hastily. 'If you want him, I'm certainly not going to compete, and I doubt if Phoebe would either. Isn't she getting smart all of a sudden?'

They turned to discussing Phoebe's rather strange behaviour by unspoken mutual consent.

-----

Meanwhile, Ross was finding Phoebe's sudden enthusiasm for fossils almost too much. She had been into all of his drawers and boxes, and he felt quite worn out with her questioning. Just as he was about to say that he was feeling tired, she looked at him closely.

'Oh Ross, I've tired you out!' she said remorsefully. 'I'll stop right here. I'm sorry, but I find this all, like, absolutely enthralling. I must find time tomorrow to drop by your museum and look at the exhibits.'

'Do that, and I'll show you round,' said Ross. 'Say, would you like to borrow one or two of my books? They can tell you everything I can, and probably much better.'

'Would I ever!' said Phoebe with maximum enthusiasm. She left with three books, looking as happy as a kid with a bagful of candy. They were in fact books for older children, which both had agreed would be the best place to start. Ross was delighted that one of his friends should finally begin to share his interests; in fact, talking to her, he found his own enthusiasm reviving. But he hoped the books would take some of the heat off himself.

As it turned out, Phoebe did not show up at the museum the next day, but she explained contritely to Ross, when they met that afternoon in Central Perk, that she had been up most of the night reading the books and had slept through the morning.

'I'll come tomorrow for sure,' she said. 'You know, those books got me so excited, I wrote a new song. I'll perform it tonight.'

'Way to go, Pheebs!' said Joey. 'You'll soon be as big a dinosaur freak as Ross.'

'Well, there are worse things to be,' said Phoebe rather sharply. 'Like a date freak, for instance.' She looked at him pointedly, but he shook his head.

'That's not me any more,' he said. 'Seems like I can't get a date to save my life. And you know what? Suddenly I'm not sure I want to, you know, just to have a date. I mean, it's like I'm feeling I have a duty to do it, but my heart's not in it. Maybe I'm ready for a real relationship.'

'You trying to give us heart attacks, Joe?' said Chandler, who had just come in and overheard.

'Ah, the date king!' said Monica. 'How did it go with Aurora, as if I didn't know! When did you get home?'

'Oh, about two in the morning,' said Chandler nonchalantly. 'But I caught up on my sleep at work.'

'And now you're going to romance Janice?' Monica pursued. 'What brought that on?'

'Well, she has her charms,' said Chandler. 'There's no denying it. And she thinks I'm in love with her anyway.'

'Didn't sound like she thought that when you rang her,' Joey observed.

'Oh, that was just her sounding off because I hadn't called her,' said Chandler. 'Seems she was expecting me to. Besides,' he grinned at Joey, 'if things don't work out, maybe she could at least give me Lorraine's phone number. Oh boy, was she hot!'

The others, who knew about the Valentine's eve dinner party to which Joey had invited Lorraine, bringing Chandler to date a friend who turned out to be Janice, expected Joey to display outrage at this breaking of the rule that you did not date your friends' old flames. But he simply shrugged.

'Looks like Chandler's the date freak, Pheebs,' he said. 'But if you're aiming to go out with all my old girlfriends, Chandler, you'd better be prepared to do a lot of sleeping at work, except that you just can't do that, or they'll fire you and you won't have the money to take the girls out with.'

There was general laughter, in which Chandler joined. 'I don't think my ambitions run quite that far,' he said, 'but I'll bear your warning in mind, my friend.'

At that moment Janice arrived, looking perky. 'Hi, everybody!' she said. 'So, Chandler, we have something to talk about?'

'Sure,' said Chandler, getting up and putting an arm around her in a possessive way, 'let's go and grab a drink.' His confident air seemed to disconcert Janice slightly, but she went with him readily enough.

'What's gotten into Chandler?' said Ross. 'He seems to have finally nailed down the art of dealing with women.'

'Well, I hope you don't think that dating several of them simultaneously is "dealing with women",' said Phoebe slightly censoriously. 'I liked Chandler better before.'

They bickered on in a friendly way about man-woman relationships for a while, to be interrupted by Chandler's sudden return. He was looking a bit down in the mouth.

'So it didn't go well with Janice, huh?' said Joey slightly maliciously.

Chandler pulled a face. 'No,' he said. 'She wouldn't listen to any suggestion that she might tone herself down a bit. So …' He shrugged.

'So?' prompted Monica.

'So I had to break it off with her,' said Chandler. 'No sense in putting up with aggravation just for sex, when I can find women who won't provide any aggravation, like Aurora.'

'She'll be back,' said Joey gloomily.

'I don't think so,' said Chandler. 'She really didn't like my comments on her voice and mannerisms, but what could I do? I had to tell her the truth.' He sighed. 'She had a lot of good points, really, but …'

'You were honest with her?' said Monica incredulously. 'Well, that says something for you, I suppose. But did you really want to make it work, with her?'

'I figured it was worth a try,' said Chandler. 'Because we knew each other so well, you see.' He looked around, his eyes crinkling in a smile. 'Almost as well as I know you three, come to think of it.'

'Well, you won't get anywhere with me if you're going to expect to date half of New York as well, buster,' said Monica smartly.

'Yeah!' said Phoebe in emphatic agreement.

'Oh, I wouldn't do that,' said Chandler, looking a bit shocked. 'It's just that, while I'm not committed to someone …'

'Huh,' said Rachel. 'It's so easy for guys. Nobody thinks the worse of you, but if one of us were to start dating several men at once, we'd sure catch it.'

Chandler spread his hands. 'Okay, maybe I have been giving off Joey-style vibes,' he said. 'It was just that … suddenly I seemed to have confidence with women, and I felt I had some catching up to do.You know what they say,' he winked at Rachel, 'None but the brave deserve the fair.'

Rachel looked away, but Monica noticed that she smiled a little.

'How about a bite to eat before Phoebe's set?' she said. 'I've got some cold cuts and stuff in the apartment.'

This met with general approval, and they quickly decamped. When they got in, Monica looked around, then sidled up to Rachel. 'Did you tidy up in here?' she muttered.

Rachel swallowed. 'Well, yeah, a bit. It's okay, isn't it?' She looked at Monica with a certain apprehension. 'I mean, I know you like things to be arranged in a very particular way, but I tried my hardest …'

Monica waved her hand. 'Don't worry about it,' she said. 'It's just … this is so not you.'

'What do you mean?' said Rachel, her brow wrinkling.

'I've gotten so used to you not doing anything much around here unless I nag and nag, and now …'

'Well, I'm sorry I've been like that,' said Rachel, frowning a little. 'Anyway, this is okay, isn't it? I mean, if there's anything really wrong, tell me and I'll put it right.'

'Everything looks fine to me,' said Monica, 'and thanks very much for doing it. What does it matter if something's a little out of place, anyway?' She beamed at Rachel, who looked really startled for a moment, then beamed back.

-----

They returned to Central Perk with just a few minutes to spare before Phoebe was on. Although Rachel was off-shift, she not only cleared stuff from the table in front of the couch but stacked it neatly in the right place, waving away the thanks of the other waitress. Then she offered to bring the rest whatever they wanted. Again the others looked at each other in surprise at this unusual behaviour, but before they could comment on it Phoebe was announced.

'Hi,' she said. 'I've got a new song which reflects a great new interest of mine. I hope you'll all like it.'

After playing a few chords in a cheerful way, she began, with a twinkle in her eye:

'Did you ever wonder how Tyrannosaurus Rex … Had sex?'

and then had to pause, because not only her friends but the whole coffee shop cracked up. She looked at Ross slightly apprehensively, but he was laughing as loudly as any of them. When the laughter and applause died she went on,

'Or how an Iguanodon … Got it on?'

then she shot a sly glance at Rachel,

'Was fashion ever "classic"… In the Jurassic,

And how did Triceratops … Do without shops?'

Rachel shrieked with laughter and clapped her hands together. 'Way to go, Pheebs!' she cried. Grinning, Phoebe continued,

'How d'you think a Deinonychus …Would strike us?

Do you think a Stegosaurus …Would bore us?

How would a Diplodocus …Get focus?

And what would a Velociraptor … Clap for?'

She struck a final chord. By this time Ross was practically helpless with laughter, and the others were not much better. There was louder applause than she had ever gained before, and she was practically forced to encore the song before moving on to others of her compositions.

When she took a break and went over to the others, Ross grabbed her hand and shook it warmly.

'Phoebe, you have got to come and sing that at the museum,' he said. 'I absolutely insist. They'll love it.'

'That's even better than Smelly Cat,' said Rachel, and the others agreed.

'Thanks, you guys,' said Phoebe. 'I wish I could have come up with more rhymes, but so many of them are sauruses of various kinds, and there's no way you can rhyme some that aren't with anything, like pterodactyl.' She turned to Ross. 'They won't think it's, like, disrespectful, at the museum? Because I don't mean to be disrespectful. It's just, the first line came to me, and I had to write it.'

'Pheebs, it's marvellous,' said Ross in complete sincerity. 'It's a sign of a bad scientist to take oneself too seriously.'

'Well, there's a change,' commented Joey. 'Headline: Mr. Science in Amazing Reversal Maneuver.' Chandler looked at him in a way that suggested that he wished he'd come up with that.

'Oh, maybe I used to come on a little strong,' said Ross, 'but it seems to me, we should be ready to laugh at ourselves, just as we should admit that we don't know everything. A whole lot of what we give out is just the best available hypothesis at the moment, and one new piece of evidence might falsify it.'

There were several intakes of breath.

'Or there's stuff we just don't know, because we don't have the evidence,' said Phoebe confidently, 'like how come the dinosaurs got so big in the early Jurassic and spread all over.'

'Right, Pheebs,' said Ross, smiling at her warmly. 'You're a quick study.'

She smiled back at him in a shy sort of way, and seemed to blush slightly. 'Those books were great,' she said. 'But do you have anything more adult that is not, like, impenetrably scientific?'

'Sure,' he said. 'Come round with me after you're done here.'

Monica and Rachel caught each other's eye, sharing a thought: was something developing between Ross and Phoebe?