Chapter 3. Curiouser and Curiouser

'Come on, Mon,' called Rachel. 'The guys'll be here any minute.'

'What's the big rush?' called Monica from the bedroom. 'You can get the coffee on, can't you, with all your newfound skills?'

'Well, I can try,' said Rachel a little grumpily. She did not mind helping out, but here was Monica seeming to expect her to do everything. However, remembering all the times Monica had done everything, she admitted to herself that she owed her friend plenty of payback and that it would not be fair to nag her.

'Don't blame me if the coffee doesn't taste good, that's all,' she called.

'You'll be fine,' Monica replied. 'Okay, this is me getting up.' Rachel heard the bathroom door close.

A moment later Chandler and Joey came in. Joey was saying, 'That's all very well, Chandler, but girls generally resent it if you take them for granted. Even Aurora might do that. You should give her some sign that you appreciate her, ya know.'

'Okay, okay,' said Chandler a bit impatiently. His face brightened when he saw Rachel. 'Hi, Rachel, you making breakfast today?'

'Looks like it,' said Rachel. 'Mon seems to be taking things easy, all of a sudden.'

'Well, she has a right to,' said Joey. 'She's been working her ass off at the restaurant and looking after us. Which comes back to what I was saying: we don't appreciate her enough.'

'But she always seemed to like doing it,' Chandler protested mildly.

'That doesn't mean we shouldn't show our appreciation,' said Joey firmly.

' You've become very moral all of a sudden, ' said Chandler. 'So, you're making the coffee, Rach?' There was a distinct uneasiness in his tone.

'Yup,' said Rachel. 'Don't worry, I know what I'm doing – I think.'

A little later she poured some coffee out for them. Chandler looked at his suspiciously.

'What's your problem?' said Joey. 'It's the right colour, and we know she hasn't sneezed in it because we've been right here.'

Rachel giggled. 'Oh, I would never do that, even in Central Perk.'

'Only because you'd do something else,' said Joey, grinning at her. 'I've heard what goes on behind the scenes.'

'But I've got no motive to do anything like that to Chandler,' Rachel protested. 'How is it?' she asked anxiously, as Chandler took a sip.

'I'd say, not bad,' said Chandler, smiling at her. 'In fact, as cups of coffee go, tremendously … not bad.'

'You stole that from Love Story!' she said, giggling again. 'I'd never have thought you'd watch such a romantic film.'

'Oh, I have my moments,' he said, keeping his eyes on hers. 'Sometimes I'm absolutely in the mood for romance.'

Suddenly his voice sounded serious. Rachel gave a little gasp and turned away, feeling suddenly flustered. Was Chandler really trying to start something?

At that moment Monica appeared, looking very relaxed. 'Hi guys!' she said. 'How's the coffee?'

'The coffee's fine,' said Joey. 'Hasn't quite got that Monica zip to it, of course.'

Monica poured herself a cup and tasted it. 'Doesn't seem any different from my own brew, to me,' she commented.

'Well, maybe it's just … anything you make seems to have that extra bit of flavour,' said Joey, grinning at her. She looked back at him, wondering if he was actually coming on to her. At first he held her gaze, still grinning; then he suddenly seemed to go shy and dropped his eyes.

'So who's doing what today?' she said briskly.

'Well, I'm on in the coffee shop for a full shift from opening time,' said Rachel.

'I've got nothing on,' said Joey gloomily. 'Maybe I should go visit my agent again. She's not getting me the parts.'

'I have a thrilling day of data processing ahead of me,' said Chandler. 'I wish I could think of something else to do,' he added dolefully.

'If it's so bad, why do you stick at it?' asked Rachel.

Chandler shrugged. 'You know as well as I do, Rach. Isn't it why you go on waitressing? The money.'

'Well, actually, I'm beginning to get into my job,' said Rachel. 'And that reminds me. Mon, could you spare some time to teach me a bit about cooking?'

They all looked at her in amazement. 'You actually want to learn to cook?' said Monica.

'Sure,' said Rachel. 'Is that so surprising? After all, if I get married and have children, as I want to do, it will be something I ought to know, at least at an everyday level.'

'Well, that's great, sweetie,' said Monica. 'Let's set a time for after you get off shift and have had some rest. I'll be back from the restaurant by then.'

'But won't you be tired?' said Rachel solicitously.

'Just have some coffee waiting, and I'll be fine,' said Monica, thinking to herself that she was really appreciating this new Rachel.

'So my coffee's actually okay, huh?' said Rachel.

'A little less water, perhaps,' said Monica, smiling at her, 'but I have drunk a lot worse, Rach, believe me.' The others agreed, and Rachel looked pleased.

-----

'Hey, Joey, what's your problem?' said Estelle, his agent. 'You don't look so good.'

'I don't feel so good, Estelle,' said Joey. 'It's not just the lack of work, which is why I'm here. My love life has gone to hell.'

She looked at him closely. 'Say, there's something different about you. I think I like it. Sensitive, moody – Joey, if you can keep this up, I can put you in for all kinds of parts where you wouldn't have stood a chance, when you looked kind of happy and confident. Here, take a look at yourself.' She handed him a small mirror.

Joey studied his reflection. There was no doubt about it, he did look different, rather intense and brooding.

'It's not like I'm trying to do something specially,' he protested.

'So, just look at me,' she commanded. When he did so, she nodded. 'Somehow, your natural expression has changed. Oh boy, it's the "melancholy Dane" all right, or maybe the young Brando, or James Dean. Okay, Joey, sit tight, I'm gonna do some telephoning.'

Joey sat tight, almost suffocated by cigarette smoke and deafened by the flow of words, but when he came out he was happy: he had dates for three auditions, two for films and one a long-running drama series. Checking in a store window, he found that his sense of elation did not seem to affect his natural expression. 'Sensitive, huh?' he said, and grinned to himself. That did make him look rather as he used to do, but when he relaxed his mouth, his expression returned to the brooding look.

'Yeah, baby!' he muttered. 'I'm gonna knock 'em dead!'

-----

Phoebe was in full flow at the museum. Having sung her song to a very appreciative audience, she was explaining how she had come to write it, and expanding enthusiastically on her feelings about her new interest. Ross watched her indulgently. He had feared that his colleagues, while they would surely like the song, might find Phoebe a little too offbeat and weird. But not only was that side of her barely in evidence, her blazing enthusiasm seemed to communicate itself to them readily. Even his boss, Dr. Ledbetter, who might have been expected to take exception to her rather "street" manner of expressing herself, was taking a close interest.

'Miss Buffay,' he said when she paused for a moment, 'how long have you been interested in palaeontology?'

'Oh, not very long,' said Phoebe, 'but it's like I've been waiting my whole life for something like this.'

'She's a very quick study, Donald,' said Ross, 'especially for someone who never got the chance of a college education.'

'H'm,' said Dr. Ledbetter. 'Ross, could I speak to you in private for a second?' When they stood aside, he asked, 'Does Miss Buffay have a job?'

'She works part-time as a masseuse, and sings in our local coffee shop some nights,' said Ross, 'but she has no permanent position.'

'I'm thinking, she would make a great addition to our corps of guides, especially for children's tours,' said Dr. Ledbetter. 'She might give good talks, too. I've seldom encountered anyone better able to communicate her love of the subject at a level that most people can relate to. Do you think she'd be interested?'

'I think she very well might be,' said Ross.

Phoebe's reaction to being offered a job, even though it would only be part-time, was little short of ecstatic. She burst into happy tears, then hugged and kissed Dr. Ledbetter, to his rather embarrassed pleasure. 'I can't think of anything I'd like to do more,' she said. 'Just tell me when you want me and what you want. I'm sure Ross will help me out, won't you, Ross?'

'Of course,' said Ross. 'Glad to help in any way I can. Now, do you want to see around the museum?'

'Great,' said Phoebe, 'but don't let me keep you from your work.'

'Don't worry about it,' said Dr. Ledbetter. 'Introducing you to the museum can be Ross's work for the day, and when that's done you can take off, Ross, as a reward for turning up this addition to our team  – that is, unless there's anything really urgent you should be doing?'

Ross could truthfully say that nothing in his In tray was all that urgent, and so Dr. Ledbetter waved them off with a benevolent smile.

'I think he likes you,' said Ross. 'Pheebs, it's going to be great having you work here.'

'It's going to be great working with you,' said Phoebe. 'Oh Ross, this is all thanks to you,' and she suddenly gave him a hug and a hearty kiss on the cheek. For a moment they looked at each other seriously; then Phoebe smiled, let go of him, and turned away, seeming a little embarrassed. Ross was struck by the feeling that, all along, he had been underestimating Phoebe. Apart from being very attractive and lively, she had a good brain, which, the way he saw it, she had only just begun to put to use. Somehow, beautiful though she was, Rachel just did not have the same attraction for him. Maybe it was because she was wholly uninterested in anything intellectual, while Phoebe, for all the weird theories that she espoused, at least thought about things other than fashion and dates. All of a sudden he remembered the time when she had tried to comfort him, just after he had discovered that Carol was having a lesbian affair. Then they had kissed seriously, and might have gone even further if they had not been thrown by the difficulties of making love on a pool table. He had never been that close to Phoebe since, and he did not know how she felt about him, really, but he was beginning to feel that it would be worth finding out.

-----

'Joey, this is so much fun!' said Monica, her eyes sparkling. When she had got back from the restaurant, she had arrived at the same time as Joey, who wanted to do something to celebrate getting his auditions. She had willingly allowed herself to be enticed away from the apartment, since Rachel was still not in, and into playing silly games, which she found that she enjoyed even more than the first time. Joey's sense of fun was completely infectious. In fact, she was beginning to find him more and more attractive, now that he was no longer so impressed with himself as God's gift to women.

For his part, Joey was also finding the new laid-back Monica extremely attractive. He had never seen her as relaxed as this before, but it suited her. Her killer smile, ready laugh and general output of happy feelings were doing strange things to him. Was he really falling for her? He had a feeling that he might like to.

'Say, Mon,' he said, 'why don't we take a break and go have a drink in your place? It's so much nicer than here.'

She winked at him. 'In the mood for some lemonade?'

'Aw, are you still hung up on that?' he said, chagrined. 'I'm not like that any more.'

'Is that so?' she said, and giggled. 'That's a pity.' She flashed him a wicked glance, then led the way to her apartment. He followed, feeling suddenly excited. Did he dare take her seriously, as he would have done without a thought when they had first met? But any thought of following this up disappeared when they found Rachel in the apartment, plumping up cushions.

'Geez, Rachel, relax!' said Monica. 'Everything looks okay.'

Rachel put her hands on her hips and looked ready to dispute this for a moment. Then she looked around. 'Yeah, I guess it does, at that. Sorry I'm late, but Gunther asked me to cover for a while because another waitress hadn't got in. Turned out she was delayed on the subway. So, shall I make coffee?'

'I'd prefer something cold,' said Joey.

'So would I,' said Monica. 'We've been playing games, and some were quite active.'

'Playing games, huh? Active games, huh?' said Rachel insinuatingly, and giggled. 'Well, whatever you were really doing, it certainly agrees with you: you have a good colour.' She went to the fridge and got out some Snapples. 'So, how was your day, before the games?'

Joey excitedly told her about his auditions and what his agent had said.

'Isn't that great?' said Monica enthusiastically when he had finished. 'Our Joey may finally be on his way to the top.' She tousled his hair playfully. He gave her one of his best grins in response. She started dramatically and put her hand on her heart.

'Oh Joey, don't do that!' she protested. 'It makes me want to …' She stopped, blushing.

'To what, Mon?' he asked, his voice serious.

She looked at Rachel, who was observing them with great interest, then whispered in his ear '… to kiss you.'

He looked at her, startled. 'Really?'

She nodded, her eyes meeting his with an intent expression. An expression of delight appeared on his face. 'Oh wow!' he said, but before he could get any further, the phone rang.

Looking rather irritated, Monica picked it up. 'Monica Geller speaking … oh, hi mom! … Oh, fine, you know.' Her expression changed to a resigned look. 'No, not just at the moment, but … look, it's not something I want to discuss in front of my friends … well, sure, why wouldn't they be here? … Rachel and Joey … Mom, I'm not interested in making new friends, and least of all because … ' She paused for a while, evidently letting her mother run on, rolling her eyes and sighing increasingly loudly.

'What was that?' she said eventually. 'Yes, I sighed … you want to know why? …You really want to? Okay, mom, here goes, and it would help if you didn't interrupt.' She looked at the others, whose attention was now riveted on her, and grinned a little, then took a deep breath. 'I was sighing because I was wishing that just once you would ring me up to pass on some family news or simply chat or something and not get on my case, going on and on about my not being married and my life not going anywhere and favouring me with your interpretation of the reasons, which either tells me stuff I already know or concerns things on which our tastes differ – and there is absolutely no reason why I should have to give your tastes preference over mine.'

She took another breath and said emphatically, her voice rising, 'Mom, I'm not done! I've had to listen to you all these years; it's time you listened to me. I'm all grown up, Mom, and you really are going to have to accept that I have a right to make my own decisions. When I want your advice, I'll ask for it, okay? Remember what you were saying to me about Nana at her funeral? Do you want me saying something like that to my daughter at your funeral? If not, then lay off. I'll find it so much easier to love you. Bye, mom.'

She closed the connection and looked at Rachel and Joey, who were open-mouthed. 'I finally did it,' she said, with a degree of triumph in her voice.

'Wow, Mon!' Rachel breathed. 'I didn't know you had it in you. I've ben wanting you to stand up to your mom for the longest time.'

'Yeah, way to go, Mon,' said Joey.

Monica smiled broadly. 'Ooh, I feel so much better.' She looked at the phone. 'Funny – I was expecting her to ring back. I hope she hasn't had a heart attack.' She didn't sound very concerned.

'Your mom is tough,' said Rachel. 'If she could survive Ross and Carol breaking up, she's not going to drop dead just because you finally find the nerve to talk back to her.'

Monica giggled. 'Oh, I feel so great.' She actually danced around the room for a moment. 'You know what would make me feel even greater?' She looked at Joey. 'A kiss from you.'

Joey felt an intense wave of happiness. She did mean it. He walked across, took her in his arms confidently and gave her his best "tender" kiss, with just a little sexiness. She responded so eagerly that he found himself becoming aroused and drew back, feeling embarrassed.

'Would … would you go out on a date with me, Monica?' he said rather hoarsely.

'Sure, Joey,' she said at once. 'I'm so glad you asked.' She threw her arms round his neck and hugged him.

'Well!' said Rachel, who had been watching them with an indulgent smile.  'Am I in the presence of the real thing?'

Joey and Monica did not reply at once, but just looked at each other. Joey took Monica's hand.

'I'd like to think so,' he said softly. 'Shall we see, Mon?'

She nodded. 'It's a pity we didn't get into this before Mom rang.'

'But if you had, you wouldn't have had a reason to give it to her the way you did,' said Rachel.

'And she might really have had a heart attack, at hearing that you were dating an unemployed actor,' said Joey.

'An actor who may soon find work worthy of his talents,' said Monica, hugging him again. They gazed into each other's eyes lovingly.

'Ahem,' said Rachel pointedly. 'Talking of talents, what about my cookery class?'