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A/N: Sorry, this chapter took me forever to finish! It is very long, isn't it? Thank you SO MUCH for reviewing, you people are wonderful and totally make my day!


Hope Unlooked For
Chapter 4: Guest


Yes, tho' that long dream were of hopeless sorrow,
'T were better than the cold reality
Of waking life."
-Edgar A. Poe



Her assailant leapt to his feet with a feral cry, lifting his primitive blade high-

And fell with a shriek of fury, three arrows in his back. Éowyn did not pause to wonder at this, but picked up her sword and heaved herself back into the saddle. She cut and blocked automatically, fighting with the ferocity and single-mindedness of a machine. She could not afford to rest even half a second-there were too many orcs.

The part of her mind that held itself aloof from the rest of her noticed that elves had surged into the clearing, hacking down orcs with ferocious battle cries; orc arrows and elven arrows flew between the trees. But Éowyn could not stop to think, or be grateful-ever there were more orcs, surrounding her and hacking at her with their foul swords. There were too many of them!

She suppressed a cry of fear as a sword narrowly missed her head. Mayhap this is my time to die, she found the far-off part of her mind wondering. If that is so, I am not afraid: let me die in honor, with as many of my enemy slain as is possible. He that battles with Éowyn Eomund's Daughter will not emerge unscathed! And she leapt forward again, with a terrifying battle cry not unlike her brother's.

She did not know how long the fight lasted; but after many orcs and elves had been slain, a large orc screeched a command, and the demons disappeared as quickly as they'd come. The elves drew off to a corner of the clearing, conferring among themselves; Éowyn dismounted and brought her horse under the shade of a huge tree, catching her breath at last and whispering praises to her horse, her wonderful smart horse that had saved her life.

After a while, an elf with long blonde hair and fair features came apart to talk with her. Who are you, sir? he said. Friend or foe, and what are you doing in this forest?

That distant part of her mind recognized the sir': he thought she was a man, with her hair cut so short. I am a friend, she said, keeping her voice low, merely passing through this forest. I mean you no harm.
What is your name, and whence have you come?
I have journeyed here from Rohan, far south of here. My name is ..... Dernhelm. If he could not guess her sex, she would not enlighten him.

The elf went back to his comrades, discussing her in soft voices. After a while, he came back to her, and spoke again. I am Legolas son of Thranduil, he said. As Prince of this realm, I invite you to stay with us as a guest. Do you accept?

Éowyn almost reeled backwards when she heard his name. He had been one of those travelling with Lord Aragorn! Why had she not recognized him? In this forest, his home, he had a light kindling in his eye, and his face was much merrier than when she had last seen it. Now that she had heard his name she could easily recognize him. But he had not recognized her.

He was still waiting for an answer. Do I have a choice, Prince Legolas? she said, still careful to keep her voice low.

You will surely become lost in this forest if you do not come with us. None (save the elves) can navigate it without being lost, even if he were the greatest tracker and explorer.

Then I accept, and I thank you, prince.

****

Éowyn surveyed her surroundings. These elves were very courteous: the room they had given her was luxurious, and she knew they would take good care of Endumiel.

She still kept the pretense of being male. She wanted these people to treat her as a warrior, not as a maiden-she had received far too much of that treatment in Rohan and Gondor. She wanted to be free of all titles and reminders of her former life here; she wanted to be no one but herself in this house.

She liked these elvenfolk: they were strange, but not alien. They seemed to be both merry and grim at the same time, much like her kinsfolk at home, and the respect they had for their trees was not unlike the respect the people of Rohan had for their horses: both were born of a great and deep love that could not be easily broken.

And it was good to talk with Legolas, someone who had been there and seen the battle of Pelennor Fields, even if he did not know who she was, what she had done on that field. It lightened her heart just to see his face, for he reminded her so much of her home-he reminded her so much of Herself.

And yet, even as she stood thinking happy thoughts, the Shadow was ever there beside her. She closed her eyes, and could see it on her closed eyelids: a great, cold hand that reached forward to take out her soul. Éowyn shuddered, and for a second she was in the midst of that horrible dream again, helpless, forced to watch her friends and kinsmen die. Damn you, she whispered to this formless thing that lay curled up about her heart. Go to torment someone else, and prithee leave me in peace! In return she received only silent laughter.

Tears laying unshed on her eyes, she sat down on the bed. She would never be free of it; even in this beautiful house it still held her captive. She was a slave to the tortures of her own mind.



****


Legolas stared thoughtfully at the young man Dernhelm. He was sitting at the table opposite the one the elf sat at, and to all appearances the young man was enjoying himself greatly. He was laughing, and talking jovially with elves seated next to him. And yet there was a shadow over him, it seemed to Legolas-his actions were very guarded and cautious, as if he were being careful not to give away any secrets. And there was a veil, it seemed, over his face: he was always merry, but never too merry, and he never let his face show any surprise or expression that was not expected of him. He is wary of us, Legolas thought. And he will not be himself in our home yet.

Legolas frowned as he stared at the lad. Dernhelm! The name was familiar, very familiar, as was the face. Had Dernhelm been some friend of Eomer's or Aragorn's, perhaps? No, they had never mentioned anyone by that name. Maybe Legolas had met this warrior of Rohan on the battlefield? But no, he was certain that he had not seen that face whilst at war.

After a few hours, Dernhelm stood up and excused himself, walking out to the balcony. Legolas, not knowing quite why, stood up and followed him.

I hope you find things to your liking in my home, sir? Legolas said.

Dernhelm turned around to face him, and smiled. They are very much to my liking, Legolas. Your hospitality leaves nothing to be desired.

Then why do you leave our table early, instead of staying to talk with us?

Dernhelm sighed and looked away. I am-heavy of heart. It is no fault of yours that drives me away, I assure you-I merely needed to think, away from such merry company.

What is it you must think on?

The man did not answer at first, but stood looking South, an expression of longing on his face. Legolas wondered what he had left behind him in Rohan-a wife, perhaps, or lover? But now he was speaking. I was at the battle of Pelennor Fields-my lord forbade me to fight, but I disguised myself and fought anyway, for I did not wish to leave my king's side. Once there, I-I fought an enemy so great, so terrible, so- he shuddered and turned away. I defeated him, but even now his shadow lies heavy upon my soul. He turned to Legolas and his eyes were full of pain. I was wounded so heavily that day, and though my body did recover, my soul did not. I walked encased in a dark shadow, and I had to leave my home, for it housed evil memories. But it is no different travelling-I am sick at heart. I have wandered for, I know not how long, searching for something, I know not what- He stopped, and looked south again, his face clouded in thought.

Perhaps you are searching for hope, said Legolas. Dernhelm started and turned back to him, as if he'd forgotten the elf existed; and again, Legolas felt certain that he had seen this man before.

said Dernhelm. Hope is a fickle friend; I have no love for that particular weakness, and I do not search for it. But peace, perhaps, would not be an ill thing to search for; peace and honor, then, are the things that I would hope to find on this quest of sorts-the peace and honor that come with death.

There was a silence. Then: Is death, then, your destination?

If I cannot find peace any other way, yes, I would gladly die than carry this shadow for the rest of my life. You do not know what a burden it is, just to breathe each day with a monster astride your chest. Dernhelm's eyes were dark for a moment, and then he laughed, and said, But come! Such words are ugly in this fair house. I should not burden your fair ears with such thoughts!

Legolas smiled. My ears are not so fair that they cannot stoop to listen to a friend in need. Do not regret that you burdened me with your words. Come, feast and be merry!

Dernhelm smiled sadly. Nay-I am tired now, and will retire to my chambers (Where had he seen this man before?) But I thank you. Then Dernhelm turned, and vanished into the shadows, leaving Legolas confused and with much food for thought.