Well here it is, the next chapter. I just want to say thank you to all of you who reviewed, it feels good to know someone actually likes something I've written, it makes me really happy (well as happy as I can get) to read reviews. Thanks a lot. And Villain, thanks for looking through all my stuff, as well as the rest of you. I'll say a longer thank you in my next chapter.

I'm sorry it's been taking me so long between updates, I know what it's like. It's damn irritating because you can't really get into a story. Sorry again. I'll try and update more regularly.

One last thing, go to www.mp3.com and check out Her Sunday Best, there's this song called 'Last Night an End' and it is really, really good. I don't know the band so I have no ulterior motive for getting you to listen to it, other than it's a great song.

Anyway I hope you enjoy the story, sorry if this chapter's a bit short.

Chapter Five: Harry's Arrival

That night had been sleepless for Ron. As soon as he got home he went straight upstairs to his room. Mrs Weasley offered him some food, but he declined. He really couldn't stomach anything at the moment. As soon as he got to his room, he grabbed a towel and headed to the bathroom. He started to fill the bath, and as it was filling he stared in the mirror. He really did hate himself. 'Why the hell am I like this. I can't get anything right. I'm not funny like the twins, or smart like Percy or cool like Charlie or good-looking like Bill. I'm just, nothing.' Ron ran his hand down his arm, slowly feeling along each cut. Slowly examining each and every edge. Anger started to grow in him. Anger against his body and all its imperfections. He forced cuts open, breaking the scabs that formed. He needed to feel pain, feel the punishment his body deserved. Once the bath was full, he eased his now thinning body into the hot water. It's amazing how fast you can lose weight when you eat very little. None of his family had realised yet because Ron had managed to keep up the illusion he was eating by taking food to his room. Ron barely noticed either. As he lowered his arm under the water, pain flowed through him as the water touched the open cuts. 'Fuck. I deserve this.' More of these thoughts flooded his mind as he lay down in the bath. His mind was completely confused, all his thoughts were a jumble and he could form any coherence between them. He just lay there for an hour, trying to sort out the mess that was his mind.

Eventually Ron dragged himself out of the bath, dried himself and headed to his room. He had so much on his mind, but he could talk to anyone about it. This really hurt. The only person he could trust in the world, without question or hesitation, was the boy he was in love with. What a mess. He needed to get this off his chest, so he decided to start a diary so that he could pour out all he had to say. He had an old black book, full of blank pages with his initials engraved in gold, which was given to him as a present when he started Hogwarts. His mother thought it would be nice if he kept a diary so he could look on events when he was older. At the time, Ron thought this was a load of rubbish, so the book was relegated to a rarely opened drawer in his room. Now, Ron thought, would a perfect time top start using it. He opened the book, releasing a sort of musky smell that seemed to ooze age. This book was apparently quite old. He left the first couple of pages blank, in case he wanted to make an introduction or something, in the future. For now all he wanted to do was pour out his heart.

Ron was writing long into the night, taking a long time thinking about everything he wrote. Once he finished, he had time to look over the pages of writing. An indescribable feeling spread over him. A mixture of fear, anger, longing and pain. Tears began to well up in his eyes, and as much as he tried to fight it, he had to let them out because he couldn't hold them in any longer. Slowly, but eventually, Ron drifted to a restless sleep.

***

Ron was woken up the next morning by a loud commotion downstairs. Judging by the light getting into the room it was late morning or even early afternoon. Ron couldn't get back to sleep, as much as he wanted to. So he slowly dragged himself out of bed and got dressed. After going to the bathroom to sort himself out, he made his way downstairs to see what all the excitement was about. Once he made it into the kitchen he saw what it was all about. With a look of fear and happiness mixed he ran over to Harry and grabbed him in a firm embrace. "What are you doing here?! Why didn't you tell me you were coming?" he asked, still somewhat dazed.

"Well I thought I'd just drop by, see how my best mate's doing, seeing as how I was in the area. Nah, not really. Dumbledore wrote and said I should spend the rest of the summer with your family because it might be safer. Sorry I didn't tell you, I just wanted it to be a surprise. I had to make your dad promise not to say anything." replied a sparkling Harry rather sheepishly.

Ron seemed to lose is voice temporarily. He was lost in Harry's beauty. His gorgeous and soft skin. His exquisite black hair. His radiant green eyes, shining in the morning light. 'Oh fuck he's perfect. I just want to lean in and hold him forever. I don't want anything else in life.' brooded Ron as he stared at that flawless face.

"Ron! Are you alright?" asked Harry.

"Oh. What?" replied Ron as he came to senses, realising what he had been doing.

"You looked pretty dazed there. Were you on another planet or something?"

"Ha ha. No, I just woke up so I'm still tired." lied Ron, he was on another planet - one where Harry loved him back. "So you wanna come upstairs and put your stuff away? Have you eaten yet? Bet the Dursley's have been starving you again."

"Yes, no and yes. Dudley's still on his diet, so it's been salads and fruit."

"Here let me take your stuff." offered Ron as he single-handedly grabbed all of Harry's belongings.

"Wow, it's ok I can carry some stuff!"

Ron blushed, said sorry and passed some of Harry's stuff back to him.

"It's ok, no need to apologise. Thanks anyway but I hate feeling feeble."

The two boys made their way up to Ron's room. Ron's mind was a hive of thoughts. He was excited and kind of fulfilled to be with Harry again, but then again he wasn't with Harry. He couldn't hold him and tell him how much he meant to him. He couldn't cry away is fears to him. He was trapped. He knew the rest of the holiday would be difficult, being but not being with Harry.