Tales from the Road, Part 2
Early next morning....
Lance Alvers groaned silently as Charlie started singing yet another verse of 'Ironman'.
The man was insane. When he'd woken up, the man had turned to him and said, "I'm Charlie, and this is Jim," pointing towards a plastic skeleton around his neck.
"I'm Lance," He had replied while watching Pietro do the 'crazy' motion near his head. Charlie had then went on to tell him that the butterflies were conspiring against him, and that was why he was roaming the roads, with only Jim and Bob Marley as companions.
"Where's Bob Marley?" Lance had asked, humoring the man. Charlie had reached into his duffel bag, and pulled out a small boa constrictor, which he held up near his ear.
"Bob Marley says hello." Charlie said, and then began muttering, "No waking the dead. No waking the living" over and over. Lance could not figure out why Vic hadn't thrown him out as soon as he'd met him. The only possible answer he could come up with was that Charlie had claimed to have been a roadie for Black Sabbath. Maybe he thought that Ozzy would recognize him. But even that was a weak reason.
"How much longer until we get there?" Lance asked. Charlie was really freaking him out. Why did he repeat, "No waking the dead. No waking the living." over and over?
"We're in north Pennsylvania." Vic growled.
"I thought we were supposed to be in south Pennsylvania by now!" Lance exclaimed. They'd been driving all evening and night, and they only got as far as north Pennsylvania!
"Umm, yeah. I kinda took a wrong turn, yo." Todd admitted. "But we're going the right way now!"
Lance slumped down in his seat. Why? Up front, Charlie pulled a tape out of his duffel bag, and stuck it into the player. The first strains of "Freebird" could be heard.
"What a dumb song." Pietro scoffed.
"Really." Todd agreed. Fred and Lance just nodded in agreement.
*Four minutes later*
"Cuz I'm as free as a bird now...And this bird you cannot cha-a-a-nge!" Everyone in the van sang together loudly, arms flung out dramatically. Then, after some major air-guitaring, the song ended. Everyone dropped their arms and looked around, embarrassed at their singing. But they couldn't help it...its impossible to not sing along with "Freebird."
"Sweet Home Alabama" started to play, but then a high pitched whirrling sound interrupted the guitars.
"That don't sound good, yo." Todd said just as the innocent tapes guts shot out of the player.
"ARG!" Vic yelled as the shiny black tape guts covered him suddenly. Charlie just looked horrified at the tape's sudden, violent demise.
"Robbie!" he exclaimed as he began to gather the tape's remains in his arms, pulling them off Vic and out of the tape player. He then turned to Vic. "Pull over. We must have a funeral."
"I ain't having a funeral for a broken tape." Vic growled in return.
"But we must mourn the passing of this tape, which has done nothing but serve us diligently for its entire, if not shortened life." Charlie cried. Lance was amazed. The man was not being melodramatic, he really believed everything he was saying.
Finally, Vic said, "Fine." and they pulled to the side of the interstate. They all piled out of the van after Charlie, and then stood for a moment on the muddy ground.
"How are we gonna dig a grave?" Todd asked. Pietro paused for a second, and then ran back to the van, and was back with their group in about three seconds, holding out three plastic spoons left over from their Wendy's meal the night before.
A few minutes later, a hole was dug, and the tape's remains were put in it as neatly as possible. Charlie stood at the head of the grave.
"My friends, we are gathered here, in the mud, to mourn the passing of a great tape, that fell victim to a terrible tragedy. Robbie, our dear, dear friend, served our noble cause without complaint, providing us with not only quality entertainment, but priceless memories of pleasant tunes. Robbie, our cassette, will be sorely missed. In reverence of his memory, we are constructing a monument in his honor."
Charlie motioned towards Fred, who scraped the dirt over the mangled corpse of Robbie. Todd then stepped forward, and stuck the Wendy's spoons in the ground, where they wavered slightly in the breeze.
The Brotherhood then solemnly fled back to the van.
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Early next morning....
Lance Alvers groaned silently as Charlie started singing yet another verse of 'Ironman'.
The man was insane. When he'd woken up, the man had turned to him and said, "I'm Charlie, and this is Jim," pointing towards a plastic skeleton around his neck.
"I'm Lance," He had replied while watching Pietro do the 'crazy' motion near his head. Charlie had then went on to tell him that the butterflies were conspiring against him, and that was why he was roaming the roads, with only Jim and Bob Marley as companions.
"Where's Bob Marley?" Lance had asked, humoring the man. Charlie had reached into his duffel bag, and pulled out a small boa constrictor, which he held up near his ear.
"Bob Marley says hello." Charlie said, and then began muttering, "No waking the dead. No waking the living" over and over. Lance could not figure out why Vic hadn't thrown him out as soon as he'd met him. The only possible answer he could come up with was that Charlie had claimed to have been a roadie for Black Sabbath. Maybe he thought that Ozzy would recognize him. But even that was a weak reason.
"How much longer until we get there?" Lance asked. Charlie was really freaking him out. Why did he repeat, "No waking the dead. No waking the living." over and over?
"We're in north Pennsylvania." Vic growled.
"I thought we were supposed to be in south Pennsylvania by now!" Lance exclaimed. They'd been driving all evening and night, and they only got as far as north Pennsylvania!
"Umm, yeah. I kinda took a wrong turn, yo." Todd admitted. "But we're going the right way now!"
Lance slumped down in his seat. Why? Up front, Charlie pulled a tape out of his duffel bag, and stuck it into the player. The first strains of "Freebird" could be heard.
"What a dumb song." Pietro scoffed.
"Really." Todd agreed. Fred and Lance just nodded in agreement.
*Four minutes later*
"Cuz I'm as free as a bird now...And this bird you cannot cha-a-a-nge!" Everyone in the van sang together loudly, arms flung out dramatically. Then, after some major air-guitaring, the song ended. Everyone dropped their arms and looked around, embarrassed at their singing. But they couldn't help it...its impossible to not sing along with "Freebird."
"Sweet Home Alabama" started to play, but then a high pitched whirrling sound interrupted the guitars.
"That don't sound good, yo." Todd said just as the innocent tapes guts shot out of the player.
"ARG!" Vic yelled as the shiny black tape guts covered him suddenly. Charlie just looked horrified at the tape's sudden, violent demise.
"Robbie!" he exclaimed as he began to gather the tape's remains in his arms, pulling them off Vic and out of the tape player. He then turned to Vic. "Pull over. We must have a funeral."
"I ain't having a funeral for a broken tape." Vic growled in return.
"But we must mourn the passing of this tape, which has done nothing but serve us diligently for its entire, if not shortened life." Charlie cried. Lance was amazed. The man was not being melodramatic, he really believed everything he was saying.
Finally, Vic said, "Fine." and they pulled to the side of the interstate. They all piled out of the van after Charlie, and then stood for a moment on the muddy ground.
"How are we gonna dig a grave?" Todd asked. Pietro paused for a second, and then ran back to the van, and was back with their group in about three seconds, holding out three plastic spoons left over from their Wendy's meal the night before.
A few minutes later, a hole was dug, and the tape's remains were put in it as neatly as possible. Charlie stood at the head of the grave.
"My friends, we are gathered here, in the mud, to mourn the passing of a great tape, that fell victim to a terrible tragedy. Robbie, our dear, dear friend, served our noble cause without complaint, providing us with not only quality entertainment, but priceless memories of pleasant tunes. Robbie, our cassette, will be sorely missed. In reverence of his memory, we are constructing a monument in his honor."
Charlie motioned towards Fred, who scraped the dirt over the mangled corpse of Robbie. Todd then stepped forward, and stuck the Wendy's spoons in the ground, where they wavered slightly in the breeze.
The Brotherhood then solemnly fled back to the van.
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