Pure Insanity – Jeff Hardy
Special Guest Interviewer: Voodoo Fighting Weasel
-The camera fades on to show the three girls again (seeing a pattern? LoL.). Felicia is sitting on a chair, facing a heavily panting Sarah. Tracey moves away from the camera and turns her back to it, looking in Sarah's direction-
Felicia: You all right?
Sarah: -still breathing heavily-
Tracey: Let her catch her breath. She just ran across down chasing him.
Felicia: How'd he get away?
Tracey: -shrugs-
Sarah: -cries at the thought of losing him, even though she can barely breath all ready-
Tracey & Felicia: ……
Tracey: -pats her back and rolls her eyes- There there.
Sarah: -sniffs- Thanks. –sits in a chair, still trying to catch her breath-
Felicia: So..who's next?
Tracey: I dunno, let's see.
-Tracey walks over to the clipboard, which was placed on the ground. She picks it up, looking at the list. Raven's name is now crossed off on it along with RVD. Under their names is the name 'Jeff Hardy'. Instantly Tracey looks even more panicked then when she found out Raven was next.-
Sarah: Yeah, who's next?
Tracey: -quickly- Uhh..uh..
Felicia: Lemme see.
-before Tracey could pull away, Felicia grabs it. She looks at the clipboard and squeals loudly, running out-
Tracey: ……
-Sarah picks it up and instantly goes into her wrestler groupie mode as well, following Felicia-
Tracey: …Sigh. I need new friends.
-The two easily carry in what seems to be a frightened looking Jeff Hardy, who is actually untied. He just seems to surprised at the fact two girls just picked his body up and dragged him in-
Tracey: Put down poor Jeff Hardy!
Felicia: -pout- But—
Tracey: -taps foot impatiently- Now.
Sarah: -pouts too, but lets him down gently with Felicia-
-Jeff instantly stands, moving away from the two girls, who were looking like they were stalking him like he was some sort of prey-
Tracey: -rubs temples- Two in a row. Who's idea was this?
Jeff: -fearfully- Hey..uh..girl..you're normal right? Can you tell them not to look at me like they're going to kill me?
Tracey: Oh, don't worry. They both love you. So they'll kill you in a nice death.
Jeff: -whimpers-
Tracey: -grinning- Kidding. Felicia, Sarah, sit down so we can get the interview over with.
Felicia: ..But I don't want it to..
Sarah: Me neither..
Tracey: …You can hear him talk…
Felicia & Sarah: GASP!!!
-The two quickly sit down like little angels-
Tracey: …Anyway, have a seat, Mr. Hardy.
Jeff: -a little calmer- All right. –he sits down on one of the other chairs-
Tracey: Let's get this interview over with quickly, huh?
Sarah & Felicia: -whimpers-
Jeff: Sounds good to me. –flashes a smile-
Tracey: Since my friends are both in some sort of comatose state, I'll ask the first question. What does it feel like having all the female fans you have?
Jeff: Well, it's great. Everyone is –he glances at Felicia and Sarah who are hanging on his every word- usually really nice and treat me well.
Sarah: -swoons- I love you, Jeff.
Felicia: NO! I LOVE YOU MORE!
-Tracey and Jeff watch wordlessly as Sarah and Felicia have a cat fight in the middle of the room-
Jeff: ...Aren't you going to break it up…?
Tracey: And miss this action? Are you nuts?
Jeff: …That's a good point.
Tracey: Of course it is. Just ignore them, they'll go away eventually.
Jeff: -nods, understanding-
-Tracey turns to face Jeff again, pretending not to notice Sarah and Felicia still fighting over who likes Jeff more-
Tracey: Let's see—the major question right now is your relationship with your brother.
Jeff: -sits back- Matt's always in my business, and I'm sort of sick and tired of it. Acting like he owns me. It's enough to make me real mad.
Tracey: I know exactly how it is. I have an older sister myself.
Felicia: -stops fighting for a second- I KNOW TOO! SHE DOESN'T! SHE'S AN EVIL…-quickly gets pulled back into the fight-
Tracey & Jeff: …
Jeff: Your friends aren't on medication, are they?
Tracey: I wonder sometimes.
Jeff: -nods, understanding-
Tracey: Are you and Matt going to go your separate ways?
Jeff: Who knows? I mean, I'm sure we'd both benefit from an arrangement like that, if even it was only for a little while.
Tracey: -pauses- You know, I need someone else to help me with this interview. Excuse me a second.
-Jeff nods, and Tracey walks past him and out the door. Felicia and Sarah stop to look what she's doing. Suddenly she walks in, dragging Voodoo Fighting Weasel, or VF for short, into the room. She stands up, looking confused-
VF: -scratches head- Where am I?
Tracey: Hey VF! Welcome to the interview files!
VF: The what what?
Tracey: You know, I kidnapped wrestlers with my friends and now I'm interviewing them.
VF: -understands- Ooh. Cool!
Tracey: But the other two—
-Tracey gestures toward Sarah and Felicia, who had started their fight again-
VF: Oo! So you need my help?
Tracey: Well, you're the only one who doesn't go all drooly with Jeff.
VF: Jeff? –turns and suddenly notices the blue hair- Oh. That Hardy guy.
Felicia & Sarah: WHAT?!
-Both girls stop to stare wide-mouthed at VF and her lack of enthusiasm with seeing Jeff. They actually jump her. She squeals and tries to get away-
Tracey: -turns to Jeff- Can I borrow one of your arm things?
Jeff: -shrugs- Sure. –takes one off and puts it in her hand-
Tracey: Thanks, I appreciate it. –suddenly dangles it- Oo! Lookit girls! Lookit what I got!
-Sarah and Felicia quickly see the item and leave VF alone-
Tracey: Go get it!
-Tracey throws it to another corner of the room and the scuffle between them begins again. Jeff helps VF up, who looks dazed-
VF: Ow.
Tracey: They'll be busy for a while. –nods to them as they continue fighting over it-
VF: -mumbles- Good. –more upbeat- So! What do I gotta do?
Tracey: Ask a question.
VF: That it?
Tracey: Yeah. It's amazing how something so simple seems to be getting so many good reviews.
VF: People are easily amused.
Tracey: Don't I know it! Give me a quarter and I can play with it for hours.
VF: -chuckles-
Jeff: -sits, amazed at how one little item can have two girls fighting as much as Felicia and Sarah are- I wonder what would happen if I threw in my hat—
Tracey: Wouldn't try it, Jeff. They might get a little crazy on us.
Jeff: Understood. –grins-
VF: Can I ask a question now? –excited-
Tracey: Sure thing.
VF: Ok—um—what singles title would you want to have if you and that icky Matt guy broke up?
Jeff: Any title is good, but I'm really looking to end RVD's reign.
VF: He's gonna kick your ass.
Tracey: …
Jeff: …Well, I'll get a few scratches on him too.
VF: -shrugs and sits down-
Tracey: Right. Ne—
VF: What's it like knowing you beat up poor innocent Spike Dudley!?
Jeff: …Huh?
VF: Don't play innocent with me!
Jeff: But—
VF: You hurt SPIKE! You beat him!
Jeff: But—
VF: -sniffles, looking mad- He didn't do nothing to you!
Jeff: It wasn't anything personal.
VF: Yes it was.
Jeff: No it wasn't.
VF: Yes it WAS.
Jeff: No it WASN'T.
VF: YES IT—
Tracey: All right, it's been nice seeing ya VF, call ya back when Spike's back on.
-Tracey quickly takes VF out, who is still steaming-
Jeff: I hope that was the last question. My head hurts.
Tracey: As does mine. I would say this would be time for word association, but I think I've had enough questions with you for an interview. Thanks for—uh—well, thanks.
Jeff: No problem. –waves- Bye girls.
-Felicia and Sarah turn at the same time. They gasp, seeing that he's leaving, and quickly take chase. Tracey watches them zoom by-
Tracey: Wonder how long it'll take for the wrestler to get away this time.
-Tracey moves to the camera, turning it off. The camera fades to black-