Pure Insanity – Kane
Special Guest Interviewer: Satin Frost AKA Kitten
-The camera fades on to a now pathetic looking trio. Sarah and Felicia look like they have been through the jungle, stray leaves up in their hair, scrapes on their exposed arms and face. Tracey surveys them, shaking her head in amusement-
Tracey: So what happened AFTER you chased him through the bushes?
Felicia: -mournfully- Some strange guy in a limo opened the door on the other side and he ran in and drove away.
Sarah: It's like he was scared of us.
Felicia: Which of course is impossible.
Tracey: -still amused- Of course.
Felicia: Oh well. –sighs- One day I will be Mrs. Hardy.
Tracey: …As much as I'm glad you have a goal in life, Felicia…
Sarah: You're lucky I'm marrying Raven, or I'd totally go after Jeff in that way.
Felicia: -ignores Sarah- You were saying something, Tracey?
Tracey: -rolls eyes- Nothing, nothing at all.
Felicia: So who's next?
Tracey: -under breath- I'm sure it'll be the Rock or someone of that annoyance category.
Sarah: -heard her- Rocky's not annoying! He has a nice behind!
Tracey: …I need new sidekicks…
Sarah: Who says I'm your sidekick, bitch?
Tracey: -rubs temple-
-Felicia gets up, grabbing the list. She sits back in her chair, biting the pen's top lightly as she glances over the list. Now three names are crossed off for the people all ready interviewed, and under those names the name 'Kane' is written-
Tracey: Who's up next?
Felicia: -yawns- Kane.
Sarah: MY FIREKITTY?!
Tracey & Felicia: …
Tracey: Do you mark out for everyone?
Sarah: NO! I don't for X-Pac, that Italian Gre—
Tracey: HEY!
Sarah: Well he IS.
Tracey: -glare-
Sarah: -glares right back-
-Felicia sits and watches the two glare at each other. After 5 minutes, she finally seems to have had it and breaks up the glare fight-
Felicia: We have work to do!
Sarah: -glares- She started it!
Tracey: -mumbles something under breath-
Sarah: What was that?
Tracey: -innocent look- Nothing.
Felicia: -breaking into the fight- Bring in Kane!
-Almost on cue, the door suddenly opens and Kane approaches the door-
Tracey: Watch your…
-Kane smacks his head into the door frame. He grabs ahold of his head in pain.
Felicia: …head.
-Kane sighs loudly, ducking down to enter the room. On his arms are ripped pieces of rope. Even though it seemed he broke the bonds he had traveled in, he seemed more or less docile-
Tracey: -looks up- You know, he's—uh—actually taller then I imagined.
Felicia: -hides behind Tracey-
Kane: …
Sarah: MY FIREKITTY! –squeals-
Kane: …-blinks and tilts his head toward Sarah, looking as confused as he could for a guy in a mask-
Tracey: Uh—you can have a seat…Mr. Kane…
-Kane shrugs and sits down on one of the little folding chairs in the room. The chair, not used to all the weight that Kane has, quickly breaks-
Kane: …
Tracey: You all right?
Kane: -shrugs-
Felicia: -whispers to Tracey- Talkative, isn't he?
Tracey: -shushes her quickly-
Kane: -stands up and looks at the twisted broken metal that used to be a chair- …Sorry.
Tracey: -quickly- Oh, it's no problem. You can break as many chairs as you want…
Felicia: -nods-
Kane: -blinks-
Felicia: Maybe we should…well…do this interview.
Tracey: -to Kane- If that's all right with you.
Kane: -shrugs-
Tracey: Right then…first question…
Sarah: Wanna be my pet?!
Kane: -blinks, tilts his head- …
Felicia & Tracey: -groans-
Kane: Why is your friend on my leg?
Tracey: -looks down and sees Sarah has latched herself around his ankle-
Sarah: TAKE ME WITH YOU!
Tracey & Felicia: …
Kane: -under breath- First Vince makes me go to that weird psychiatrist…now this…
Tracey: -perks up- DUDE! I have an idea!
-Felicia, Kane, and Sarah watch her zoom out of the room-
Girl (off screen): Gimme the crayons, Tajiri!
Tajiri (also O.S.): -jabbers angrily in Japanese-
Girl (O.S.): HAH! Got 'em!
Tracey (O.S.): Good job!
-Felicia and Sarah blink, confused. Kane, however, looks panicked. Suddenly a girl walks in with Tracey behind, crayons and a coloring book in hand. She smiles widely-
Girl: COOKIE!
Kane: -squeals and hides behind Felicia…or tries to…dragging Sarah along with him-
Sarah: DUDE! It's Kitten!
Kitten: ^_^ Hi everyone.
Tracey: -nods- Kitten knows how to get Kane talking.
Kitten: -giggles- Cookie…
Kane: -whimpers-
Kitten: I have your favorite coloring book! –waves it enticingly.
-Kane perks up at this and makes a grab for it. She pulls it back and he misses it. He pouts.-
Sarah: …I think I'm getting rug burn…
Kitten: No coloring until you answer Tracey's questions.
Kane: -quickly sits down like a good little boy…the leg that Sarah is still attached to jutting out, as she still hasn't let go-
Kitten: ^_^ There ya go!
Tracey: Thanks! –turns to Kane- All right, Kane, first question—
Sarah: Can I color too?!
Kitten: ;;
Kane: -glare- No! All mine!
Sarah: -big pouty lip-
Kitten: And I thought I was nuts. ^_^;;
Sarah: Hey! Remember who's the guest star and thus expendable here!
Kitten: Eep! –hushes up-
Tracey: …It's amazing how it's all ready halfway through the interview and all we've been doing is fighting…
Felicia: -grins- Innit?
Tracey: -quickly before Sarah can get in the way of her question again- How does it feel to be a…fire kitty? –blank look- Hey, these aren't my questions!
Sarah: -whistles innocently-
Tracey: Sarah, where are my questions?
Sarah: -tries to hide what looks like a ball behind her- What do you mean?
Tracey: -reads down list of her questions- Do you want to be Jewish too? Can't you give me at least one good question?
Kitten: O_o …Jewish…?
Felicia: -quietly to Kitten- Don't ask.
Kitten: …Kay.
Sarah: Number 16!
Tracey: -looks at list- …If you had a choice between Sarah and Sarah, who would you choose? –deadpan- Very normal.
Sarah: -beams- I know!
Tracey: -deadpan- Give me my list back.
Sarah: -whimpers- No! Mine is better!
Tracey: Now.
Sarah: No.
Tracey: If you don't I won't finish my Molly/Raven trilogy. –smiles wickedly-
Sarah: -gasps in horror- You wouldn't!
Tracey: Oh, I would. I would.
Kitten: ^_^ -to Felicia in a whisper- She knows how to get people to listen to her too, huh?
Felicia: -nods- Oh yeah.
Sarah: -grudgingly hands over the crumpled up piece of paper- -plots her death-
Tracey: -uncrumples it- Thanks!
Sarah: -sulks and glares-
Kane: -whimpers- Coloring…
Tracey: -squints and reads the messed up paper- Why do you like red so much?
Sarah: Oh, like that's any better of a question.
Tracey: Wait a second, this isn't mine either! Felicia!
Felicia: -innocent look, quickly taking her hand out of her pocket that now looks like something is in it- What?
Tracey: …My head hurts.
-While Kitten is watching the drama unfolding with the missing questions, Kane suddenly sneaks up and grabs the crayons and coloring book from her hands. She yelps in surprise as he giggles gleefully and starts coloring-
Kitten: O_O;;; Hey!
Felicia, Sarah, Tracey: -looks up from their fight-
Kane: -colors in Big Bird-
Kitten: …
Tracey: Finally! –takes the questions from Felicia- Do you like your brother?
Kane: -looks like he's in a trance as he colors- …
Kitten: ;; Once he gets the book he won't even answer. Silly Cookie.
Tracey: -groans- Say WHAT?
Kitten: ^_^ I didn't say what, Austin does!
Sarah: Yeah!
Tracey: I meant…nevermind.
Kitten: Kay. ^_^;;
Felicia: Maybe if you take it away from him he'll talk.
Kitten: Good idea! –walks over and snatches it from him-
Kane: -looks up and growls- YOU MADE ME COLOR OUTSIDE THE LINES!
Kitten: Eep! –gulps-
Kane: -stands up, looking pissed-
Felicia, Kitten, Tracey, and Sarah: O_O
Sarah: -whispers to Kitten- I think you made him mad.
Felicia: SHE DID IT! NOT US!
-Kane chases Kitten out the room-
Kitten (O.C.): Here Satan! Have a coloring book!
Tazz (O.C.): -muffled- I'm not Satan!
Kane (O.C.): DIE!
-Various screams are heard outside, then after a minute it dies down-
Tracey: -quietly- Cross Tazz off the list too.
Felicia: -nods solemnly-
-Sarah walks over and turns the camera off. The screen fades to black-