Pure Insanity – Chris Jericho
-the camera fades on, though there is only a glimpse of Tracey leaving the room-
Tracey (O.S.): Look at the mess Kane made!
Felicia: (O.S.): …I hope your school understands about the window…
Sarah (O.S.): Oh, don't worry about it. We'll just blame it on a ghetto kid fight.
Tracey: (O.S.): Sounds like a plan.
Felicia: (O.S.): Wonder if Kitten got out all right.
Tracey (O.S.): I think we should worry more about Tazz. I don't think he'll be announcing anytime soon.
Sarah (O.S.): -smirks- Not until he comes out of his coma, anyway.
-footsteps are heard and the three girls walk into the room-
Sarah: You turn on the camera yet?
Tracey: -nods-
Felicia: I think we should cut out the screams from the last tape.
Tracey: -grinning- Don't worry about it. The kids at our school are used to fights and pain.
Sarah: -laughs-
Felicia: …If you say so.
Sarah: -giggles- Wouldn't it be funny if Kane's running around attacking innocent children and taking their coloring books? Heehee, he's so cute.
Felicia & Tracey: …
Sarah: -beams-
Felicia: Who's the next wrestler?
Tracey: -rubs temples- If it's the Rock I think I'm going to jump out the broken window.
Sarah: -giggles gleefully- And I can finally control this show! Mwahaha!
Tracey: -deadpan- Right. Like that'll happen.
Sarah: -pout-
Tracey: I'd rather let Felicia take over.
Felicia: -beams-
Sarah: -death glare-
-Tracey grabs the checklist and looks it over. Kane's name is crossed off it-
Tracey: -noticing this- I didn't even ask him one question…
-She looks under it and immediately brightens-
Tracey: JERICHO!
-Before Felicia and Sarah can say anything, Tracey zips out-
Sarah: -blinks- …Jericho
Felicia: Oh god…
-Loud muffled cries of help sound out. Off camera, Tracey giggles gleefully and the sound of dragging is heard. Suddenly she appears again on camera, dragging Jericho behind her. His hands and legs are tied, his mouth gagged-
Tracey: It's Jericho! –points-
Felicia & Sarah: …
Sarah: -whispers to Felicia: She was bond to go insane one day.
Jericho: -muffled- Lemme go!
Tracey: -still beaming and pointing- It's Jericho!!
Felicia: -shakes head- And she called us bad.
-Tracey is now hugging the tied Jericho tightly, a little too tightly-
Tracey: I LOVE YOU!!!
Felicia: -coughs nervously- Uh…time to let the nice wrestler breathe, Trace…
Jericho: -gags-
Tracey: -whimpers-
Felicia: Come on…
-Tracey sighs loudly, letting him go. Sadly, she forgot that Jericho was still tied up, thus quickly tipped over and landed on his side-
Jericho: OW!
Tracey: -giggling gleefully- He's so cute when he's hurt...even better when he's bloody…anyone got a razor?
Sarah: -blinks- Uh…mental note, don't give her any sharp objects..
Felicia: -gasp- Tracey don't!
-Felicia grabs the piece of broken window in her hands and she pouts-
Felicia: No blood.
Tracey: -sniffles-
Jericho: Are you crazy? First you kidnap me and now you're trying to mess up my beautiful face!
Tracey: -drools-
Jericho: …
-Felicia unties him finally and he stands up, brushing back his blonde mixed with red hair-
Jericho: I'm the undisputed champion! I don't deserve to be treated like this!
Tracey: -quickly- I'll treat you good!!
Jericho: -rolls eyes- …No thanks.
Tracey: -giggling gleefully- It's Jericho!
Felicia: …We're well aware of that, Tracey.
Sarah: -to Jericho- She's been dropped on her head a few too many times.
Jericho: I figured as much.
Felicia: You can have a seat. –gestures to the empty ones-
Jericho: Those are not chairs fit for a champion.
Felicia: -deadpan- How silly of me. I left my champion chairs at home.
Tracey: But it would be an honor if you sat in them though!
Jericho: -suddenly smiles- Ahh, finally someone who appreciates the greatness that is me.
Tracey: You're my favorite ever!
Jericho: In that case, get me a coffee.
Tracey: OK! –runs out-
Sarah & Felicia: …
Sarah: -whispers- Were we that bad?
Felicia: -shakes head- Nope, the wrestlers didn't order us around 'coz they were scared of us.
Sarah: -nods, understanding- Ooh.
Jericho: Make this quick, I have a hair appointment…
Felicia: -under breath- Hopefully to get that horrible looking red stuff out of your hair.
Jericho: What was that? –raises brow-
Felicia: -innocent smile- Nothing!
-Jericho does a dramatic huff and sits back, looking annoyed-
Sarah: All right, Jericho, just a few questions and we're done. By the way, I'm Sarah and this is Felicia…
Jericho: …Great. Wonderful. This better be over soon…
Felicia: Yeah, it'll be quick.
Jericho: -rolls eyes- Get on with it, then.
Sarah: …Right. Um...question one…who gives you your…interesting fashion sense?
Felicia: -attempts not to snicker-
Jericho: -who is sporting his checkered pants and one of his wild shirts- It's all me, Sandra…
Sarah: That's Sarah, actually…
Jericho: Whatever. Yes, it is all my style. Don't you think it looks good?
Sarah: Oh yeah, the best. –attempts not to scowl-
Tracey: -bounding in- I'm back! –gives Jericho the coffee- Here ya go!
Jericho: -takes a sip and then spits it out- YUCK! What is this?
Tracey: …School brand coffee. –nods-
Jericho: I cannot drink this! It is an insult to my taste buds!
Tracey: I'm sorry Mr. Jericho Sir! –whimpers-
Sarah and Felicia: …
Jericho: You are forgiven.
Tracey: YAY!
Sarah and Felicia: …
-Tracey sits next to Felicia and Sarah and just…stares-
Felicia: How does it feel to be a champion as you are?
Tracey: -drools-
Jericho: How I feel? I feel…powerful. No one can beat me! Sure shows everyone who said I was a loser, huh?
Felicia: -deadpan- But you cheat every match you win.
Jericho: Ha! I don't see any disqualifications on my record.
Felicia: No DQs? But what about…
Jericho: NEXT QUESTION!
Felicia: …
Tracey: -happy sigh-
Sarah: Why don't you ask a question, Tracey?
Tracey: …
Felicia: -waves hand in front of Tracey's face-
Tracey: …
Felicia: She's gone.
Sarah: -groans- All right, let's see...how about this? Of all the people that called you a 'loser'…which one really motivated you to bring out your…true side?
Jericho: -smirks- Easy…those damn McMahons kids…especially Stephanie!
Tracey: !!!!
Jericho: -peers at Tracey- …Why did she suddenly brighten up?
Sarah: -panicked look- No reason!
Tracey: YOU LIKE—
-Felicia tackles Tracey, putting her hand over her mouth. She tries to fight out of the grip but cannot get out of it-
Jericho: -clueless- I like what?
Sarah: -coughs- Nothing. She's not well in the head.
Jericho: …Yeah, but why is Flora tying her up?
Sarah: …erm…-grins innocently- She needs a nap.
Jericho: -unsure- …All right…
-Felicia gets off the now tied Tracey-
Felicia: That won't hold her long.
Sarah: -coughs- Great…er…I think we should end this thing…
Jericho: It looks like she's trying to say something…
Felicia: You don't want to know. Maybe you should go.
Tracey: -wiggling- MFFFH!!
Felicia and Sarah: …
Jericho: -blinks- …All right –gets up and walks off, not noticing Tracey try to crawl after him-
Sarah: -stops her with her foot-
Tracey: -whimper-
Sarah: …
Felicia: I'm kinda glad we're the ones who go nuts. She's just scary.
Sarah: -nods in agreement- …Well, that's the end of that…
Felicia: -horrified realization- But what happens when it's Benoit?
-The two girls look at each other in horror, and as the camera fades, the scary clichéd –dun dun dun!!- sound plays…though it's obviously a recording…they ain't rich, you know…-