Chapter 2
UNTIL MY LAST SOULI cannot sleep well this night. The bed is comfort for sure, and the blanket is warm, but how could I enjoy them if my mind is tingling with something ? I think about my grandfather. I cannot forget his story, yet I still cannot miss his sad expression when he told sad part of the story. Suddenly, I realize something : if I cannot sleep because of that story, how about my grandfather ? I am sure that he is not in different condition. That was because of me. I made him tell his story, which he really wants to keep on his own. Worried feeling wraps up my mind. I become uneasy about my grandfather. I then get up from bed and wear my sleeping sandals. I have to make sure that my grandfather is all right after all.
When I reach his room, I find his door is shut. I try to open it very carefully, and to my surprise, it is not locked. With slow and careful motion, I open the door and take a peek inside. It is rather dark inside, yet very quiet. Without much effort, my eyes catch a figure of man stands in front of opened window. That is my grandfather in sleeping pajamas. My guess was right. He cannot sleep, just like me. He is still facing the window, gazing to the glittering stars above. I guess he doesn't realize my presence, or does he pretend that ? He seems so quiet. I don't know whether he is still awake because of the story he just told before or because of something else. I just watch him standing solemnly. He stands still, makes no move after all. Sometimes wind blows his white hair. The silence of the night embraces him, as it wants to share its loneliness with that old man. I don't know what comes into my mind, but I am very sure that he feels lonely. I should leave him alone, and with that, I slowly shut the door again and go back to my room.
………………
The old man mumbles something inaudible. He does not care about his surrounding. He is completely alone, physically, and in his heart. His heart is really torn apart to live his life like this. He feels he has done his duty well, as he has promised to someone. He recalls his past. He recalls his dignity, his glory, his love, and his loss. A stream of bitter and lonely feeling flows inside his heart. He bites his lip to fight back his own tears desperately, but he fails. Last time he cried was when his wife passed away, and that has been several years ago. His tears are streaming down through his cheeks. He wipes his tears carefully and looks back to the quiet starry night.
For about an hour, the old man stands still in silence. Finally, he lets out a sigh and feels his old bone needs a rest. He then sinks himself on cozy coach he used to sit on. His eyes still gaze to the night sky through the window. Slowly, he lets his muscles loose, gives him relaxing feeling, and with that, he falls to the embrace of sleep.
While the old man is sleeping, there is a strange phenomenon happens outside. The old man simply does not know nor notice what happened since he has fallen asleep. Somehow, deep inside his lumber, he feels an awareness that tells him to open his eyes. He cannot resist it. Slowly, he opens his eyes with lazy motion. He does not know why he did it and he hopes that he will find nothing out of ordinary in front of his eyes. Nothing. Still the same room, the same quiet night. Finding that there is nothing happened, he starts to close his eyes again, when suddenly his eyes catch something weird outside. The old man stands up from his couch and notices a green sparkling light with tendrils around it comes into him from darkness. It approaches him with high speed. He gasps in surprise and steps back quickly. He has no idea what that thing is, but he feels no threat or danger within the light. Strangely enough, he even feels a warmth sensation is emitted from the light. The green light now stops in front of him as it lets him watch it with awe, and slowly, it forms a ghostly image. He gasps again and seems to be very shocked as he recognizes the form. He looks at the form more carefully. He knows the ghost form well, indeed. His eyes are widened in surprised expression. His mouth is opened. He stands still with disbelief look on what he sees. His tired visage now becomes a mixing of confusion and happiness. He lets no word comes from his mouth.
"Hi…it's been long time…", the ghost image greets him with nice tone. The image is a young beautiful woman, giggling to the old man. The man closes his eyes, then shakes his head to make sure he is not dreaming. No, it's only my hallucination…it can't be...he thinks to himself. After he opens his eyes, he still sees the woman image in front of him. He still does not have any idea how, what, where, and why, but actually, he does have any idea 'who'. He had a slight hope that what he saw was real. Now, his hope becomes true, no doubt about that.
"It's me….it's the real me…honest….", the woman giggles again. Slowly, the old man regains his composure and concludes that this event is real. He smiles back to the woman.
"Well…at last, you smile…", she still giggles, her voice is full of joy. The man's smile grows an inch broader. He then moves his hand to the woman's cheek, and he only touches an empty air. He is not surprised. However, he is a bit disappointed. The woman gives him a sad look, and says,
"No…you cannot touch me physically…we are on different world…". She stares at the man in front of him and studies him with caring look.
"Your hair…it's not like those days…", she takes a step closer to the old man. The old man only looks back at her, still quiet. He does not know what to say, it was all of a sudden.
"You still look…handsome…even you are getting older…", she smiles to him, " but it's okay, I guess…". The old man only stares at the young woman, his lips are trembling, as he wants to say something.
"I…I…miss you…", these are the words that come from his mouth at first time. The woman is struck by his words. She does not reply, only looks at his eyes to find the truth. There, she finds that his eyes are very deep as they would swallow her. She finds hope, joyful, happiness, and also a glimpse of love beneath his eyes. The woman hangs her head down, pauses for moment, then speaks with faint voice,
"Why…why do you…miss..me…?". She asks him, still hangs her head down.
The old man takes a deep breath into his old lungs. He replies,
"Because…I love you….".
There is a little outburst in his voice. He chokes once, and then keeps quiet. The woman now lifts her head and sees those two eyes in front of her is watering with tears. Even in ghostly form, that woman cannot hide her surprised expression. At second chance, she doubts on what she just heard. The old man notices this change. His expression becomes a concerned one. The woman shakes her head slowly and responses,
"No…you don't….you lied….". Just like the old man, tears are watering her eyes, but for different reason. The old man tries to reach the woman's hair, but he touches an empty air again.
"I don't lie to you…I never lied to you…", the man finally responses with tender tone. He then chokes again to fight his own tears, and adds, "I love you…and what do you think about my tears ? It is tears of happiness, tears of joy, yet tears of …regret…". His voice trails off at the end of his words. He pauses for a moment, then speaks again, "There is one thing I regret at most when I was young, that was….I never tell you how did I feel to you that….".
"No….you would never want someone like me…", the woman cuts off his words quickly. The man seems to ignore her and continues his words,
"I loved you, until now".
The young woman gives the old man a questioning look on what he just said. To the old man, he sees a doubtful expression in front of him. He cannot stand this anymore. He has been waiting too long for this.
"I love you, Aeris Gainsborough !!", he speaks loudly and in rather harsh tone. The woman, Aeris, still looks at him, but this time, the old man cannot understand what her look means. After he sighs, he lets out his words,
"Aeris, I am sorry for being harsh to you, but please understand me…I have been waiting for so many years to say those words, and I start to give up when you suddenly came here. I…I lost you to death once, Aeris…and now, as I am getting older, I don't want to spoil my chance. Here you are, in front of me, even in ghostly form, and I don't want to lose my chance again to say these words to you, so I did it at first chance of this reunion…."
After he finishes his words, he finds Aeris turns her body, now it is her back that is facing the old man.
"A..Aeris, what's wrong ? Did I say something wrong ?", the man's face turns into concerned one. He scratches his head. He has no idea why she acts like this. Aeris does not reply him, instead, she walks closer to the opened window and gazes outside. The old man just watches her.
"The stars are very beautiful from here…", she finally says something. Her eyes are still on starry night. Still ignoring the old man, Aeris continues speaking, "Do you know, those stars reminded me to my living days, and on those days, there was someone came into my life when I was 20 something. That someone was…someone I loved and cared very much. That someone was someone I trusted. When I was alive, I never knew how he felt to me although we faced many dangers and journeys, yet I still loved him, until now. I guessed he never love me, since he had already had a woman who loved him also…and worse thing was, that woman was also my best friend…". Aeris pauses for a moment then continues her story with sad and soft voice, "However, I never give up hope, since true love never ask, true love always gives, right ? And with that, I gave my biggest sacrifice, to the people, to the every living on Planet, and…to the man I loved. I lost him to my death, and I lost him to my best friend, who finally became his wife. Although it hurt me a lot, I still prayed for their happiness…and when my best friend passed away, I mourned for her…She had a pair of beautiful ruby eyes I longed to look at. Inside those eyes, there is strength and love…I know that my someone loved her wife very much, yet I still hope that he has even a little love for me…". Aeris now turns her head and gazes at the old man. The old man still watches her solemnly. Aeris cannot hold her tears anymore, they are now flooding her eyes. With trembling voice, she asks,
"Did you mean what you've just said, that you…love..me…Cloud ?".
The old man, Cloud Strife, replies with trembling voice too, "With all my heart, Aeris, with all my heart….". He spoke his words with desperate expression. Silence comes after that. Cloud only feels a cold night wind blows his hair. Aeris looks back at Cloud as if she studies his feature. Finally, her eyes tell him that she concludes that Cloud was telling the truth. Aeris then smiles. She responses,
"Then…I love you too…always…". Her emerald green eyes sparkle nicely. It is a sign that she is very delighted. Short time after that, she is back to a cheerful woman. Her visage tells Cloud about that. He knows very well her very being, her attitude, her gesture. Knowing that Aeris is not sad anymore makes Cloud feels better. Finally, he did it after long time. He then gives her a lovingly look. Aeris blushes to be seen by Cloud like this. However, she is flattered. She chuckles softly.
"Hey, I remember that you owed me a ride on…what's your airplane's name ? Highwind ? Yes, you owed me that", she teases Cloud playfully, tries to change the subject to suit the situation, "and a more romantic date on Gold Saucer !".
Cloud only shrugs his shoulder and smiles. Aeris giggles and says, "You are not changing very much, still the same Cloud ! Now only older with gray hair on his not-too-spiky-head anymore !"
"Really ?", Cloud asks her, also in playful tone. Aeris only nods, still smiling. Cloud's eyes gives her funny look, a smile is starting to grow on his happy face. They then laugh together. Both of them feel no more pain or burden. They have told each other what they felt for so many years. Cloud feels like he is getting back to his younger years. The difference is, they have confessed their feelings to each other, and they are on different form, different world. Still, it does not matter for them.
"Cloud…", eventually Aeris calls him after she stops her laugh. "Hmm..?", Cloud responses. He looks at Aeris. "Do you still remember our days ?", Aeris asks him. With funny looking, Cloud replies, "How could I forget those days ! Not everyone had such experience !". He then laughs a little. He then adds, "Especially when I fell on church's roof". He gives Aeris a meaningful look. Aeris giggles a little and replies, "If you never fall like that, there won't be story of Meteor ! There won't be story about a group struggled to save Planet ! And…the spiky hair Cloud Strife would be just an ordinary ex-SOLDIER !". She grins after saying her words. Cloud grins to her as a reply. There were too many events happened after they defeated Sephiroth and Holy destroyed Meteor, but Cloud still remembered every single day he and his friends faced when they struggled to save The Planet. He could not forget how they faced dangers lurked on every place they met, the tension around them when things went to the worst condition. He thought that it also took a miracle so they could survive and defeated Sephiroth and Meteor as well.
"Do you still remember what Cait Sith said while we were inside Ancient Cave ?", Aeris asks Cloud, but actually teases him. This surprises Cloud from his daydreaming. Aeris then continues, "He said…that we…um…we were…perfect couple…". Aeris blushes a bit. Cloud chuckles softly, but he says nothing.
"I thought that was true…until…", Aeris' words are cut off abruptly. Cloud understands what Aeris mean. Aeris hangs her head down. An image of Sephiroth stabbed her flashes in her mind. Although it has been many years ago, she still cannot remove that dreadful experience. It still hurts her a lot.
"Don't push yourself too hard, Aeris…", Cloud tries to ease Aeris. His voice sounds concerned. Aeris only nods. She then says, "That was…that was my fate…Nobody could change that…". Her voice sounds so sad, and rather trembling. "Cloud, do you know that I felt sadness and happiness together at that time ?". Now Cloud steps closer to Aeris. He looks at Aeris with concerned look. Aeris looks back at him and finds a caring and loving look from a pair of Mako-blue eyes in front of her. Somehow, she feels better. Whenever she sees Cloud looks at her like that, she always feels better. Without waiting for Cloud's reply, she then speaks up, "Cloud, when you just live your life and you take it for granted, you will never know when you will meet someone who captures your heart and makes your life worth living. That was actually how I was….I…I just lived my life with no aim…until I met you…". Aeris' voice trails off and she continues, "I had a better hope after finding you, Cloud…and I kept my hope everyday…I wished that someday you'd say that you love me…but then I had to give my soul away to save the others…I couldn't be selfish…That was my fate although it meant I had to lose everything, and it was because of you who made me sad…I had to lose you forever…". Aeris pauses for a moment. Cloud studies her face when she keeps quiet. Although Aeris' face shows a sad expression, she can speak as if nothing was happened, although in low voice.
"But with my death, happiness and joy would come", she continues. "Even I was dead, I could save the others, also The Planet…moreover, I no longer hurt my best friend's feeling…she could give her love to her lover freely, no more awkward feeling between us…". Aeris hangs her head down. "That's why I was happy at that time….strange, isn't it ? I just could not see her suffer…I loved the man she loved, and we both knew that…but she deserved you than I did, and I'd rather hurt myself than to make her cry". Aeris finishes her words. She looks at Cloud again and manages herself to smile. Cloud moves his hand close to her cheeks, but then he realizes that he cannot touch her. Slowly, he pulls his hand back and stares back to Aeris with mixed expression.
"It's okay, Cloud…I know you care about me…", Aeris whispers softly to him.
True happiness…she deserves that after what she had done…Cloud thinks in bitterness. He wants to hold her dearly, strokes her hair gently, but he simply cannot do that. Aeris Gainsborough. The simple flower girl. The one who changed him. The one who saved the world. The one who gave her everything for other's happiness. Unfortunately, fate never turned to good side to her.
"What are you doing there, Aeris ?", Cloud suddenly asks her. Although he only mentions 'there', Aeris gets the point, that is her Promised Land. She stares at Cloud's eyes for a moment, then replies, "I..I am waiting for someone…to meet me 'there'…". She then looks again outside window. Cloud just watches her.
"Just tell me…", Cloud tells her. He gets interested. Aeris responses with a gentle voice,
"Since my duty to save Planet was done, I stayed 'there'…I cannot describe that place…but that place was the place inside your heart, inside your mind…You cannot see it, you just…you just can feel it. There, I lived my days to see if one day, someone I have been waiting for will come…come to meet me…like I said to him in the past….".
Cloud takes a deep inhale. With a low voice he speaks up, "Waiting is the last thing someone can do…". Aeris turns her head to him, trying to understand what he just said. Cloud smiles faintly to her. He shrugs his shoulder.
"Are you waiting for something, or someone, Cloud ?", finally Aeris asks him. Cloud replies by nodding his head slowly. He steps aside Aeris and gazes to the night sky. Wind plays his gray hair. Aeris pays her attention to Cloud as he speaks up.
"Well, you see Aeris, my life wasn't so bad, after all. After we saved The Planet, I thought…I saw you inside Lifestream. That was the last time I saw you with my eyes…but I always see you with my heart, and it took a lot of time to heal my heart because of losing you. It was Tifa who rebuilt my heart again. She…patiently gathered up my life…she…cared me so much although she also felt pain inside her heart to lose you. Sometimes I ignored to be consoled, but she tried and tried again. Slowly I learnt that I had to go on. I had to open my eyes, open my heart to everyone. Of course that wasn't easy thing to do, but I tried. Soon after that, I really realized how Tifa loved and cared me very much, and I…I start to fall in love with her…and that was real love. We got married some years after that, and we had two children, son and daughter, three grandchildren, and also happy life. We raised our children with our best, and now they are mature enough to live their own life. I felt I lived in a perfect world, until one day, Tifa….she…passed away…because of age…". Cloud stops for a moment. He coughs a little, but he actually tries to hide his sudden outburst. Remembering a tearful moment to him hurts his heart, but he cannot cry, he does not want to make Aeris worry. Cloud coughs for the second time, now to fight his own tears.
"Cloud, it's okay…pour your tears if you want to", Aeris tries to ease him with her soft voice. Cloud clenches his teeth, then he continues his story, "I am all right, Aeris…thank you…Well, after those all, I had nothing to do…I had done my duty…I am just waiting for…my time then…That's all I can do". Cloud finishes his story. Silence comes after that. Aeris waits for him patiently if he ever needs to tell his story again.
"Cloud…", she calls him gently, "Are you okay ?". Cloud turns his head and only smiles as if he says 'yes'.
"Come on, Aeris, I'll show you something", Cloud suddenly says to Aeris. He then walks to his desk and pulls one of the shelves. Aeris only watches him with no idea look. Cloud takes something from the shelf and with a gesture, he tells Aeris to come closer. After Aeris gets close, Cloud shows her a golden necklace with a heart-shaped pendant on it. Even in ghostly form, Aeris cannot hide her surprise to see there is a picture of her in the pendant. She gasps a little, and this makes Cloud chuckle before he finally coughs.
"Cloud !!! How wonderful this thing is !! Where did you get this and..um…my picture ?", Aeris exclaims. A smile is formed on her face. Cloud only grins. "That's the secret of Papa Cloud…now, take a closer look and find the date on the pendant", Cloud says. Aeris is then doing what Cloud said. She becomes more surprised after that.
"Oh My God !! The year is…it was when we fought Sephiroth together !!", Aeris cries out.
"It's been long time, huh ?", Cloud responses to Aeris with funny look. He then explains, "Actually…I…wanted to give this gift to you….I thought our date at Gold Saucer would be a perfect event, but I…I didn't make it…I…was…well…too chicken, you may say that…but now..it's too late….very very late….I cannot put this necklace on you…". Although Cloud does not tell what he feels, Aeris can see that he is very disappointed.
"Cloud, it's all right…", Aeris tries to comfort Cloud with her words. Her emerald green eyes sparkle nicely as she says, "It's not about that gift, but it's about your affection to me…I really appreciate that, Cloud…thank you….". Aeris finishes her word almost whispering. She has never been treated like this.
"Aeris….", Cloud calls her. He stares directly into her emerald green eyes. He always loves to see them. "I love you….", with a low but gentle voice, Cloud speaks up. Aeris' mouth is opened as if she is going to say something, but nothing lets out from her lips. She can only let her tears run down along her cheeks. This time, it is tears of happiness that hasn't been flowing for a long time.
"I am happy…I am truly happy…after so many years…", she says faintly. Cloud only smiles. He did it. Although it took so long, he finally did it. He made Aeris happy. He gave her happiness. He finally gave her something she deserved so long. Knowing this makes Cloud's heart sing in joy. They look at each other intimately, they share smile to each other. Although they cannot make physical contact, that is enough for them. Their heart have made contact to each other, their heart have warmed each other with love and passionate. Time truly cannot bend their love to each other.
Aeris giggles while wipes her tears from her cheeks. Cloud laughs a little too.
"Thank you Cloud…thank you…and I love you….", Aeris says in middle of her giggle. After her giggle is stopped, she then stares into Cloud's eyes.
"Cloud…I want to meet you…", Aeris whispers her words to Cloud. Cloud's eyes go wide.
"You said that when we were at Gold Saucer…", Cloud replies with hesitant tone. God, it's really been long time…Cloud thinks. Aeris smiles. She then asks,
"Cloud, will you come with me….?"
Cloud stares deeply into Aeris' green eyes. He does not say anything, and neither she does. Aeris feels like time is being stopped by her question. She really hopes that he will lay rest of his life beside her. She prays quietly inside her heart. She puts all of her hopes and dreams she kept so far on this chance. Once Aeris sees an unsure expression on his face, but it only lasts for a while. Slowly, she finds an excited expression on him.
"Yes, I'd love to…", Cloud finally replies and smiles at her. Aeris cannot hold her overjoyed feeling to hear this. She smiles at him nicely. Cloud can see her eyes are watering again along with her dear expression.
"I've been waiting for this moment, Cloud…I am…so happy…that I can meet..you..finally…", she whispers softly.
"Aeris…", Cloud calls her with caring tone. Aeris wipes her tears and looks at Cloud's Mako-blue eyes with intimate look. Aeris and Cloud no longer talk. They just look at each other. They give love to each other through their eyes, they tell how they feel to each other with their unspoken words, and they know that they were meant to be together as true lovers. That is her true gift. Finally, the humble flower girl who had sacrificed herself to save the others finds her happiness through someone she loves all the time. Outside the house, the stars sparkle with their brightest light as they celebrate the long-awaited reunion of two star-crossed lovers : Cloud Strife the ex-SOLDIER and Aeris Gainsborough, the last Cetra.