THE PHOENIX

Chapter Five: Sonata of Agony

Author's Notes: And here it is at last, chapter five. I know I've said it already in the previous note, but again… I am very sorry to not have updated. I don't think I would have ever gotten it done this soon without friendly reminders and encouragement, and thus I dedicate this chapter wholeheartedly to Atreyu452 and Zycker. Thank you so much for your support.

~~~

Motto shite mita koto mo

Nanka gaman wo shite ita…

~~~

~Sierra~

"Let's go and find Cain."

I nodded in response. The rise in number of Mavericks increased every day… and Commander Sigma himself was nearly irreparable after his encounter with one. I had yet to discover the details of this incident, but it was just icing on the cake… these corrupted reploids were bad enough without being able to take out super-elite Hunters!

Walking down the twisting corridors of Hunter HQ was always a silent experience for me, the robots passing and crossing paths around me a constant reminder of my haunted past.

"You know," X was saying. "Sigma managed to take down the Maverick… Cain's probably studying him as we speak."

That got my attention in less than a normal human's heartbeat, my bionic arm clasping on his shoulder to stop him and myself in our tracks.

"You mean it was captured?!"

The blue robot nodded solemnly. It cost us the entire elite Gamma Unit… and possibly the Commander's life… to do it. That's a pretty big sacrifice for just one Maverick, Angel. You know that better than anyone… you oversaw Sigma's planning…"

"X. I only looked at the schematics," I clenched my fist. "… but I had NOTHING to do with his construction. I swore I wouldn't… I couldn't…"

"Easy Sierra," he soothed, eyes clouded with unmistakable sadness. "I know… I'm sorry I said it."

"No, it's all right," I answered, attempting to regain my composure. My gaze traveled to my left hand-- yet another reminder of all the hells I had experienced.

"Come on," he prompted me gently as he placed a hand over my real one. "Cain's waiting for us."

I nodded slowly, but then a curious thought struck me. "I highly doubt that. Capturing the Maverick most likely made him feel a need to celebrate."

X rolled his eyes while slapping his forehead. "Drunk again." For the first time that day, I truly grinned.

~X~

I walked closely beside her for the remaining few meters to Cain's private lab, ever wary of her turbulent mood. I knew that the old pain never left her for a single moment each day, and not even I was able to ease it. I remember my first moments of activation, the first commands to me were to help her out of the rubble of Doctor Light's laboratory. He had worked furiously to at least complete my basic programming so that I could help to save Sierra… but at the time I uncovered her she was just barely clinging onto life, the entire left side of her body crushed into useless, dead tissue and bone pieces.

Skeptical then, I had every doubt that Light could save her, but somehow he reached whatever elusive life force she had left… forcing her to keep fighting off death…

I pressed on the keypad to the lab, the twin security 'bots stepping back in recognition of my authority. With a curt nod of their heads thy left, going about their business as their duty commanded. Dr. Cain hurled the door open so hard that it nearly shuddered off its hinges. His graying hair was wild and untamed, eyes red from overuse and underlined in deep black.

"Oh, it's you X… and Sierra! Glad you could make it," he slurred in a low voice, but louder in volume than normal. "I have much to relate to you!"

"Dammit Cain. "Sierra growled in annoyance. "That's it. I am taking away your vodka cabinet this week." The old man looked like he'd been shot at the remark, and I struggled (though in vain) to keep myself from laughing. Then he blinked, looking at me as if only then realizing we were there.

"Where's…?" he trailed off, gesturing around us curiously. I stiffened; Sierra glanced over her shoulder at a sudden loss of her former anger.

"He'll be here… when he'll be here. He'd want us to go on ahead… I'll fill him in later if need be, if he's not listening right now."

No one responded. Cain was swaying back and forth due to his inebriation, and I felt great pity fir the Maverick he'd been studying. Sierra meanwhile was staring off behind us as if she was able to see something we could not. Silence lingered for a time until Sierra suggested at last that we see the Maverick.

Cain at last snapped out of whatever dreams he'd been lost in to nod eagerly. A drunken grin pulled at his aged features, not flattered by spittle caught in his beard. "Yes, yes. You must see… this is remarkable!"

Grabbing one arm in each of his, we found ourselves dragged over to an examination table. However, to keep perhaps a sense of suspense a white sheet covered the Maverick, and I raised an eyebrow at the apparently tall form beneath it. Ill-placed computers and entangled wires surrounded the area, as well as numerous shards of broken glass I assumed to be from careless tosses of vodka bottles though the air in drunken frenzy. Out of the corner of my eye, I couldn't help but smile at Sierra's disapproving glances at the glass and her sigh of silent anger.

"He's over here!" Cain was ranting loudly to us, waving his hands and arms around madly over his head as if we were deaf and/or blind. Who could tell what the old man was thinking? Sighing, I turned my attention back to him. With an increasing grin in my direction, he pulled off the sheet, and I froze.

Eyes widened to their fullest, my mouth dropped open in a mix of terror and surprise. Oh, no…

"X?" Cain hissed, his felicity fading fast between hiccups. "You look like you've seen a ghost!"

"What?" Sierra chimed in softly from a few steps behind me. "Let me see." I threw her a warning glance, but sadly, it only served to heighten her insatiable curiosity. "X?"

I stepped aside, and she walked up to my side with a hand delicately placed on my shoulder. "Who is it--"

Her voice died. She was staring at the Maverick with the most complex look I had ever seen in my life on her face. Never tearing her gaze from the reploid on the table, she took a slow step back, then another.

"Angel…" I stammered. "Please tell me it isn't…"

But to my dismay she nodded, rivulets of tears beginning to stream down her face. With a sob she raised one hand to cover her mouth… and fled from the room crying. I wanted to go after her… comfort her as I sometimes did. However, the look on Cain's face told me I had a lot of explaining to do.

~?~

I saw her running down the halls towards me, and curious as I was, I stepped from my hiding place to catch her in my arms. Startled by my appearance as she so often was she looked up in confusion, and it was then that I realized she was crying.

"Sierra?" Only twice had I ever seen her this way… and both times, it had broken my heart.

She stared up at me with those twin pools of sad blue, and in the realization of who I was, her tears ran anew down her flawless face. "Blues…"

In reflex to her pain, I wrapped my arms about her in silence, allowing her to bury her face in my shoulder. She clung to me tightly, as if afraid to let go, and did not answer my unspoken question for some time.

"Zero… Blues, he's awake…" she whispered, a sob choking out as soon as the words were spoken. I froze, lifting her chin with a finger to look deeply into her eyes.

"What did you say?!"

"He's the Maverick everyone's been talking about, Blues… I don't know how… but he's been awakened again. I don't know how it happened!"

"Wait… wait…" I interrupted. "You're telling me ZERO is the one who beat up SIGGY HIMSELF? But that's impossible!"

She frowned, but I noticed a small smile creeping up into her face. "I've told you not to call him that, Blues. But… yes. He is the one. Sigma is currently near-death…"

"But I don't get it. How could he just wake up? Could the Mavericks have found his capsule?"

"I don't know. It's a possibility… but… what now?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean… what do I do now? How will I explain what happened, and… you… me…"

It stung. Gods, how it stung. "So that's it. You're ashamed to tell him."

"N-no!"

I pulled away roughly. "Yes it is, and we both know it, Sierra! You still are in love with him… and I don't blame you for it. Don't misunderstand me. But you regret having to forget about him when you sealed him away… but I see now that I was merely there as someone to run to when he wasn't there."

And with that I turned away from her, and hung my head in shame. Such a fool I was… I'd expected it the entire time that it was the truth… but never had I wished to believe it. I heard her small, choked gasp from behind me and immediately her arms moved to surround my waist, hugging me tightly. I winced; it would only make things worse.

"Do you have any regrets about us, Blues?" she asked in a barely audible whisper, her breath fluttering against the back of my neck.

"I'm beginning to," I admitted through clenched teeth. Why must she ask now, when Zero had returned? I loved my brother dearly as any would their own, but at the cost of one so dear to themselves it would destroy their heart? No, I didn't hate him for any of it, not in the least; he'd had her first and I respected that… but…

"So you would take back everything… just drop me and leave me here alone?"

"Dammit Sierra!" I shuddered at the accusation. "You know I'd never do that no matter what, Zero or no Zero! I don't care if you go running back to him… but…" my voice cracked, "I'd still love you, even if you didn't feel the same. I'm only a reploid; I'm not human. I can live with such pain."

"Liar," she murmured, moving away. "I never thought of you as less than any human being. Look at me."

Slowly I turned, though only enough to gaze from the corner of one eye. She was crying still… and I had no doubt they were meant for Zero.

"Look at me," she repeated, spreading her hands as if to lay her soul bare for all to see. "I'm nothing. What you see in front of you is nothing more than a dead body kept alive by machinery; a soulless creature trapped in a tug-of-war between human and robot with nothing left save for perhaps the mind and personality. I should have died in that explosion, Blues. Grandfather should have let nature run its course with me, instead of fighting against Fate. I…" she trailed off, her voice too swollen with emotion to continue. I stared at her blankly, but inside my mind was churning, my heart nearly stopped in realization. When had she become so cold? So cruelly serious? The words hung in the air like a late frost, echoing through the corridors as an ominous chant. It was all wrong… it had to be!

"Sierra… I…"

"Don't say anything. Please. I want you to know right here and now that even if you regret every single moment you spent with me, I won't and never will. You were the one who was always there for me, even in the darkest of times you remained true to me, never once leaving me alone. You couldn't begin to understand how difficult it's been for me to adjust for these seven years we've been alive, after being in stasis for a century.

"I suppose what I'm trying to say is that I did give my heart away again, but this time to you. Yes, a piece will always remain with Zero, but now… now I'm confused. I don't know where my loyalties lie any more, though it's clear that I love you both, and I don't want either of you to leave… especially you, Blues."

I was speechless; she truly did return my deepest feelings, but was torn in two by an identical pull to Zero. But what a fool I had been, never to have seen it before!

"I've been blind…" I mused, raising my head to hesitantly meet her gaze. "Can you ever forgive my doubt?"

"Do you even have to ask?" I saw that her gaze had never left me, those deep blue orbs radiating with the purest of love. Her face was so close, the beautiful and delicate features brushing against mine by a hair's width as she spoke, her breath washing over the skin of my neck as a summer's breeze. Her eyes pierced into mine even through the thick visor, looking straight into my soul as no one else could ever hope to.

"You don't need to blame yourself for anything, Blues," she continued as she brushed her lips against mine in the softest of butterfly kisses. "It'll be okay."

I nodded, returning the kiss more deeply and feeling her arms wrap around my neck in response. I cherished the moment, storing it in my heart, for something told me that it would be the last in times to come…

"You're forgiven," she finished, sealing the promise with a nuzzle to my cheek. It was then that we heard the scream.

~X~

"Sierra! Sierra! Where are y--YIKES!" I skidded to a halt as I rounded the corner, apparently about to run into Sierra… with Blues. Blushing profusely for interrupting their "moment" (for they rarely had one) I backed off, scratching my head in embarrassment.

"X?" Sierra blurted out, still in Blues's arms. "What was that? Is everything all right?"

It then hit me like a shock to the circuits; now I remembered why I'd come! "Yeah! About that… I mean… you have to come back to the lab with me! He woke up!"

She tensed, eyes widening. "That's not possible."

I shook my head, understanding but all at once acknowledging that which she so firmly denied. "I know…"

"So what was the scream, then? Affect of Cain's drinking spell?" Blues piped up, earning an elbow in the gut from Sierra. I had to laugh at them, reveling in the slight relief, but my composure quickly returned. "No, it was Zero all right. He just suddenly opened his eyes and calmly sat up as if nothing had happened… Then he took one look at me and froze in place! He said something like 'Rock,' and began screaming and shorting out…"

"Dammit," she mumbled, "Tell Cain I'm on my way."

"Gotcha." Nodding once, I scurried back down the way I'd traveled with renewed swiftness. Something troublesome was afoot, and I feared it was only the beginning.

~Sierra~

"What the hell's going on?" Blues grumbled. I looked at him with a grave stare before returning my gaze to X's retreating silhouette.

"I intend to find out."

He gazed at me though the near-opaque visor of his helmet, the concern easily sensed. "Are you okay with this?"

"No, but even so you wouldn't set one foot inside that lab."

Silence.

"You still blame yourself, don't you?"

He growled audibly, low and deeply in his throat as he loosened his hold on me. "Why shouldn't I? I could've saved him, but failed. Not only did I take him away from you, force you to sever your ties with him… I couldn't help you, either."

I understood, and though it would pain him to hear me say so, I too was at fault. I was so weak then, I remember clearly… always in everyone's way, making situations worse with my childlike foolishness; I was worthless an expendable, though an important pawn in the war between my grandfather and Dr. Wily.

"So I'm to face him alone?"

"I don't know if I can face him," he replied, almost coldly.

A smile tried to trace its way over my lips, but it refused to glue itself into place. "I'll go then."

"Who said to leave me out?" Turning back to face him, I noticed he too was attempting to grin. How I longed to see his beautiful eyes as they were, and not hidden behind the helmet I myself had designed. For so long he'd kept to himself, staying within shadows as it suited his fancy. I knew, however, that he would always watch over us all, and knowledge of this always filled me with a warm and secure feeling. Though it hurt to see such moodiness within his impressionable heart, I treasured every smile, every touch… for they were so rare these days.

I peered into that damnable visor teasingly, and he smirked with amusement at my little game. My human hand reached around to push a hidden button on one side of his helmet, and his mask rose to reveal those stormy green orbs that would tell of his love for me soundlessly and without any words. I knew.

"That's better… you ready now?"

He nodded, giving me a chaste kiss before following me back to the lab, where everyone was waiting.

"Will you be all right, Sierra?"

Uncomfortable silence was all the response Blues needed; he grasped my hand and squeezed it reassuringly.

"I'll always be here," he murmured just as the door slid open. X turned towards us, an uneasy and bashful smile alighting his boyish features; Cain remained, to my annoyance, in his semi-coherent state of inebriation. As for Zero… he was currently deactivated, still frozen into his half-raised position on the metal examination table.

Zero… I wanted to flee again, but Blues had anticipated this and steadfastly stood guard at my back. Cain, of course, remained entirely oblivious to this emotional exchange, or so he seemed, by the way a twisted smile was stupidly thrown in my direction. "Shall we re-animate him?"

"Go ahead," I croaked, heart fluttering wildly, and steeling myself for whatever would happen next. Cain began to punch and flip a series of intricate switches -- his efficiency amazed me despite his drunkenness -- and a loud whirring sound filled our ears. Unconsciously I placed my hand over one ear, but jumped suddenly as one finger brushed the metal plates over my face…

Watching through a thick veil of emotion that misted my blue eyes, Zero's emerald ones slowly… oh so slowly… opened and widened. In a seemingly dreamlike state he raised a hand to his face, then his helmet. Sitting up, his gaze met mine with unexpected clarity, and I shrank back in fear beneath his scrutiny.

"Am I dreaming?"

My heart broke at these words, though by some hidden resolve I was able to choke back my bitter tears and shake my head.

"Sierra… but you're dead…" Zero abruptly stood, and I saw that he did not stifle his own coursing emotion, for twin rivulets ran down his dirtied cheeks and spilled down to the floor with light pattering sounds. Fluidly, and with the catlike grace I remembered so well, he moved towards me; a wave of self-consciousness washed over my mind, causing me to panic and back up a step.

"Don't look at me…"

"Sierra…" One gloved hand reached out as if to touch me, but stopped an inch away from my face as if the metal would burn it. "Gods… what happened to you, my love?"

I sensed Blues shifting behind me, and in a single motion he had moved between Zero and myself protectively. The red reploid registered his identity almost immediately, and in a swirling maelstrom of joy and amazement he cried out, "Brother!"

"Yes Zero," he replied with painfully clipped tones, "We're both alive, thanks to Dr. Light… and X, whom you've met already."

Zero either couldn't or refused to respond, running a hand through his golden ponytail in his nervous habit as his eyes fixed onto our blue companion. I knew instantly what he was thinking… for X indeed resembled a long-gone friend…

"Do you remember what happened?" Blues continued, diverting his attention once more. I glanced at him quizzically, curious as to his swift chase to the point… but the robot regarded us all in silence, bowing his head with shame in his heart.

"I think I was dreaming," he mumbled almost to himself. "I awakened, surrounded by a bunch of junk bots led by a creep named Colonel, who tried to shove me back into the capsule… It made me angry, so furious that everything after that is a blur… I don't know what I've done. There're flashes in my memory banks of a tall 'bot wielding a sabre similar to mine, and I messed him up pretty badly. I lost all control, nearly killing him… but that can't have happened, right? Right?" Both hands at this point were clenched into tight fists, as if the pain of nails driving into his mechanical palms would drive away the horrible images.

It was Cain who spoke in response, much to our exasperation. "Well son, it's all very true, I'm sorry to say…"

"What?" Zero's head snapped up, and the doctor nodded grimly.

"You placed that reploid under emergency intensive care… we're still not sure if he'll survive the extensive repairs. You really did a number on him, but don't worry, it wasn't wholly your fault. You see, you are infected with something we call the Maverick Virus, which causes the internal systems of a bio-mechanical life form to lose control of themselves. Thus, they attack everything in plain sight until their bodies fall apart.

"The curious thing is, my friend… Zero was it?… is that the virus has so far disappeared from your systems completely!"

It was my turn to jerk in surprise. "Say that again?"

Cain sighed deeply. "I've told you all I know, Sierra dear. It was on my scanners, then suddenly vanished without a trace a few seconds before he woke himself up. It's rather curious…"

"Wait a second," Zero intervened with a raised hand, his gaze painfully grave. "You mean to tell me that I still have the very virus in my body that has caused my loved ones so much pain… and it's caused me to kill everyone I saw in my nightmare?!" He was shaking uncontrollably, agonizing convulsions of horror overtaking his senses.

Nobody moved. Nobody dared.

~~~

I've bore with

Things I've already seen too much, somehow…

~~~

Author's Notes: More to come very soon! And just a note; the more reviews I get, the faster I write ^_^ Expect an update on Souldance as well in the next couple of days.

Next chapter: Prelude to Darkness -- The truth of the lost past is revealed to Zero as the shadow of new enemies looms overhead. When a powerful Hunter turns renegade under the influence of the Maverick virus, will HQ hold together?