Thank you insane1. You stay there, okay? This is mine!
Notes From Star: Okay, I *know * this has been done, I said so. But mine's funnier! Okay, Joss has miraculously disappeared, taking the bloody pulp that *was * his head out of the carpet with him. Good. On with the show.
Star: right. We're back. Again. (glares at Angel) we wouldn't have been so long(sarcasm here, cos this is the second chapter in a day) except Mr Broody here went phsyco on us!
Angel: Hey, I have reasons. He's ruined my life! And thanks *so * much Insane1. I was looking forward to killing him while Star had her back turned.
Star: you made Angel cry. Thank you for achieving the oh so ordinary since Connor appeared.
Insane1: What's it like knowing you're not the only vamp with a soul?
Angel: It stinks. (sulks) I *used * to be unique. It kinda made up for the *no sex * business. Now he's boinking Buffy, *and * she loves him!
Star: ok ay then! Moving on. More questions. How would you feel if it turned out you weren't the one to Shansu?
Angel: Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?????(gets up, and looks murderous)
Cordy(grabbing his arm) What the *hell * did you ask that for?!
Star: Don't look at me! It was the reviewer! (looks into camera) Consider your questions a little more carefully please? I don't want to have to scrape myself outta the carpet.
Wesley: (under his breath) there *is * no carpet. We're in a basement.
Star: (shoots a look at him) Wes, hon, I can *still * bring Faith here. And I will. If ya don't shut up!
Wesley: staying seated.
Star: good. Next question. Connor, why are the 15 yr olds of the BTVS and AI world so act like brats all the time? Again, from Insane1. (looks straight at her) This is starting to get on my nerves, hon! You keep asking the questions that get them all riled up! (to Connor) Oh, and introduce yourself.
Connor: Hi, I'm Connor/Stephen. I'm the son of that great toddler over *there *(pointing at Angel) and a hell bitch who sired him. Who he slept with. When he had a soul. Why do I feel queasy when I think of my ancestry? And in answer to your question, how the hell should I know? I've only been in this dimension three episodes! And, hey, split personality thing going on here! (looks hurt) it's a problem, alright?
Star: okay hon! (looks coyly) And by the way, you are *really * the better cross between those mixed up vamps you call parents. (looks at audience) What? Has no-one else noticed?!
Insane1: Can Lindsey and Doyle appear please?
Star: Sure they can since you asked so nicely! (muttering) and I stole this from the BTVS version *you * wrote!
Insane!: (hands on hips) Hey! It was *my * really cool idea then!
Star: watch it! I have ultimate power here! I can set Faith on you! And while I'm thinking about it, Faith, why don't you come on down?
(Lindsey, Doyle and Faith appear in chairs)
Wesley and Gunn: Aaaaaaaaaah! (they jump onto their chairs)
Star: Oh come down ya big wussies! (smiles at Faith) Faith wouldn't hurt a fly until I told her to, wouldya Faith? (Faith smiles back, and kills a fly. The AI team gulp.)
Star: Right, that's it. I'm fed up with having my authority questioned. Insane1, back in the audience. Faith, you're going down.
(Handcuffs lock Faith into place, and she is gagged.)
Star: Now, when someone addresses a question to her, she'll be ungagged. Until them (raises one eyebrow) Guys, you can get down now, the scary lady is immobilised.
Gunn: How dya know she won't think that's a scary type a foreplay?
Star: (sweetly and through gritted teeth) I just know, all right?
Star: I'll finish off Insane1's questions, and then the intros of those of you that haven't done so . Lindsey, how ya bin?
Lindsey: well, ya know, evil hand went on a rampage, and kinda killed the senior partner's puppies.( the audience looks stunned) Hey, I have any evil hand, whatcha expect?
Star: That, is enough of *that *! Behave yourself!
Lindsey: Anyway, I'm an evil lawyer from Seasons one and two, who falls in love with Darla, and gets his hand cut off by Angel over there. What can I say? The guy got the girl * and* my hand! (shakes head ruefully)
Audience: Awwwwwwwwwwww!
Connor: Wait a second. *This * guy could have been my father? (looks at Angel) I request a plot change. Lindsey gets the girl.
Audience: (nods heads)
Angel: (indignant) Wait a sec..
Star: Shut up! Doyle, speak a few words to the lady. Lets see if she collapses.
Doyle: Roit. Good. Top o' the mornin' t';ya.
Star: (taps foot on floor) I don't think that was *quite * what she meant, Doyle!
Doyle: What can I do? Angel's massacred the Irish accent while I've been away! It's a laughing stock! (looks over to Angel) No offence, mate.
Angel: No, it's fair.
Star: Finally, Gunn, you introduce yourself.
Gunn: Hi, I'm Charles Gunn, and I'm in charge of a bitchin' street group that kills vamps. For no money. Yet I still wear a different outfit each episode. (holding Fred's hand) Oh, and I'm in love with Fred here.
Star: And who does that make feel sick to their stomach?
Faith:" I know I do;
Star: shut up. Come on, people, did *no one * want to see Wesley *finally * get the girl? I know I was rootin for ya Wes!
Wesley : thank you. Now I sleep with Lilah. How the standards on this show have fallen.
(Gasps from everyone)
Wesley: What?
Star: Now as I choose to waive the question about the stupidity of Gunn and the truck for his soul, yes, we all realised it was a stoopid thing to do, I'll leave you so we can all have a shouting match at Wesley for sleeping with something so disgusting,
(Joins fray, saying 'at least he wasn't thinking about her!')
I need more questions.
Notes From Star: Okay, I *know * this has been done, I said so. But mine's funnier! Okay, Joss has miraculously disappeared, taking the bloody pulp that *was * his head out of the carpet with him. Good. On with the show.
Star: right. We're back. Again. (glares at Angel) we wouldn't have been so long(sarcasm here, cos this is the second chapter in a day) except Mr Broody here went phsyco on us!
Angel: Hey, I have reasons. He's ruined my life! And thanks *so * much Insane1. I was looking forward to killing him while Star had her back turned.
Star: you made Angel cry. Thank you for achieving the oh so ordinary since Connor appeared.
Insane1: What's it like knowing you're not the only vamp with a soul?
Angel: It stinks. (sulks) I *used * to be unique. It kinda made up for the *no sex * business. Now he's boinking Buffy, *and * she loves him!
Star: ok ay then! Moving on. More questions. How would you feel if it turned out you weren't the one to Shansu?
Angel: Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?????(gets up, and looks murderous)
Cordy(grabbing his arm) What the *hell * did you ask that for?!
Star: Don't look at me! It was the reviewer! (looks into camera) Consider your questions a little more carefully please? I don't want to have to scrape myself outta the carpet.
Wesley: (under his breath) there *is * no carpet. We're in a basement.
Star: (shoots a look at him) Wes, hon, I can *still * bring Faith here. And I will. If ya don't shut up!
Wesley: staying seated.
Star: good. Next question. Connor, why are the 15 yr olds of the BTVS and AI world so act like brats all the time? Again, from Insane1. (looks straight at her) This is starting to get on my nerves, hon! You keep asking the questions that get them all riled up! (to Connor) Oh, and introduce yourself.
Connor: Hi, I'm Connor/Stephen. I'm the son of that great toddler over *there *(pointing at Angel) and a hell bitch who sired him. Who he slept with. When he had a soul. Why do I feel queasy when I think of my ancestry? And in answer to your question, how the hell should I know? I've only been in this dimension three episodes! And, hey, split personality thing going on here! (looks hurt) it's a problem, alright?
Star: okay hon! (looks coyly) And by the way, you are *really * the better cross between those mixed up vamps you call parents. (looks at audience) What? Has no-one else noticed?!
Insane1: Can Lindsey and Doyle appear please?
Star: Sure they can since you asked so nicely! (muttering) and I stole this from the BTVS version *you * wrote!
Insane!: (hands on hips) Hey! It was *my * really cool idea then!
Star: watch it! I have ultimate power here! I can set Faith on you! And while I'm thinking about it, Faith, why don't you come on down?
(Lindsey, Doyle and Faith appear in chairs)
Wesley and Gunn: Aaaaaaaaaah! (they jump onto their chairs)
Star: Oh come down ya big wussies! (smiles at Faith) Faith wouldn't hurt a fly until I told her to, wouldya Faith? (Faith smiles back, and kills a fly. The AI team gulp.)
Star: Right, that's it. I'm fed up with having my authority questioned. Insane1, back in the audience. Faith, you're going down.
(Handcuffs lock Faith into place, and she is gagged.)
Star: Now, when someone addresses a question to her, she'll be ungagged. Until them (raises one eyebrow) Guys, you can get down now, the scary lady is immobilised.
Gunn: How dya know she won't think that's a scary type a foreplay?
Star: (sweetly and through gritted teeth) I just know, all right?
Star: I'll finish off Insane1's questions, and then the intros of those of you that haven't done so . Lindsey, how ya bin?
Lindsey: well, ya know, evil hand went on a rampage, and kinda killed the senior partner's puppies.( the audience looks stunned) Hey, I have any evil hand, whatcha expect?
Star: That, is enough of *that *! Behave yourself!
Lindsey: Anyway, I'm an evil lawyer from Seasons one and two, who falls in love with Darla, and gets his hand cut off by Angel over there. What can I say? The guy got the girl * and* my hand! (shakes head ruefully)
Audience: Awwwwwwwwwwww!
Connor: Wait a second. *This * guy could have been my father? (looks at Angel) I request a plot change. Lindsey gets the girl.
Audience: (nods heads)
Angel: (indignant) Wait a sec..
Star: Shut up! Doyle, speak a few words to the lady. Lets see if she collapses.
Doyle: Roit. Good. Top o' the mornin' t';ya.
Star: (taps foot on floor) I don't think that was *quite * what she meant, Doyle!
Doyle: What can I do? Angel's massacred the Irish accent while I've been away! It's a laughing stock! (looks over to Angel) No offence, mate.
Angel: No, it's fair.
Star: Finally, Gunn, you introduce yourself.
Gunn: Hi, I'm Charles Gunn, and I'm in charge of a bitchin' street group that kills vamps. For no money. Yet I still wear a different outfit each episode. (holding Fred's hand) Oh, and I'm in love with Fred here.
Star: And who does that make feel sick to their stomach?
Faith:" I know I do;
Star: shut up. Come on, people, did *no one * want to see Wesley *finally * get the girl? I know I was rootin for ya Wes!
Wesley : thank you. Now I sleep with Lilah. How the standards on this show have fallen.
(Gasps from everyone)
Wesley: What?
Star: Now as I choose to waive the question about the stupidity of Gunn and the truck for his soul, yes, we all realised it was a stoopid thing to do, I'll leave you so we can all have a shouting match at Wesley for sleeping with something so disgusting,
(Joins fray, saying 'at least he wasn't thinking about her!')
I need more questions.