Remember how I said cooking wasn't the only ridiculous contest us shinobi students would be forced to participate in? Yeah. The next thing Mr. Kiriya was making us do, of course with all four groups including Crimson Squad, was some kind of musical talent showcase. Like we had to form small little groups, and each of those had to perform a song.

Now, instead of Tris being the salty one, it was kinda... me. Like, who was it in charge of us shinobi that was making us do these weird competition things against each other? Was it someone who knew about the whole thing going on with me, and was trying to stoke the flames into an actual fight? And then there was the fact that, well, we had to perform songs. And I wasn't going to sing. If I didn't talk, who thought they could possibly make me sing? Nope. Nope, nope, nope.

"Now you're gonna be the one to complain?" Tris said, when she sensed my obvious pissiness that evening. To be honest, it was probably really easy for her to tell I was pissy. I was just kind of chilling, reading something, but if it was possible to, like, turn pages in a pissy way, I was doing it. But she wasn't having it. "You're, like, super musically talented, bitch. With, like, any instrument you've ever touched, you hear a song once and can repeat it effortlessly thereafter. You've played music on pieces of grass. Grass! And now you're mad we have to sing—"

I nodded, wordlessly. Hopefully the fact that I did it wordlessly, like I did everything else I ever did, would clue her into why I was mad.

"Ah, I gotcha. Well, maybe you and Zelda should do something together, and she can sing for the both of you. You can play the instrument, and she can sing, and you can use your telepathic connection to make it really easy for the two of you to coordinate it together."

I nodded, but started typing into my phone at her.

"Mostly a good idea, but it's gonna be weird if I team up with someone who isn't in the same school as me," I sent to her. "You should have to team up with someone who isn't the same school as us too. That way it won't be weird."

"Me?" she snapped out loud as soon as she read my message. "Are you trying to get me to sing with, like, Ryona, or something?"

I nodded.

"You know how risky that's gonna be," she said. "You're the one who's always worrying about that Ganondorf chick getting too much information, and you basically want me to let her know I'm a thing with Ryona. So then she would be able to use Ryona against us?"

I kept typing.

"That's kinda my point, is that maybe it'd goad her into trying to use Ryona against us. That way, we can actually get somewhere in fighting her, instead of both of us sitting around in a weird stalemate because we're both afraid to make the first move."

"You'd use Ryona as a pawn like that?" She had her arms crossed all huffily.

"Well, yeah, because Ryona likes pain so much that even if I have to beat the crap out of her she'll just like it."

"...You have a point." Tris sighed. "You do a song with Zelda, I'll do a song with Ryona. Fair is fair, I guess."

I nodded as I sent her one more text.

"Good, now leave me alone so I can actually plan something with her."

And as soon as Tris left me be, I bothered Zelda telepathically, right away.

"So, the music thing. I need you to do it with me, so I can play an instrument and you can sing, because there's absolutely no way anyone ever is going to get me to sing. So, what are we doing?"

"I have some ideas for you," she thought back, too fast.

"You already have ideas for me? Were you thinking about this already?"

"Yeah, I was thinking you should do something cute and flirty and obviously targeted at Murasaki."

"No!" I felt myself blushing. "I mean, you're the one who'll be singing it, so it'd be weird if we did it that way. Maybe we should do something that, like, represents both of us. As individuals sharing the same destiny that we have to constantly repeat, or something like that."

"Good, good. Then I know just the thing. Here's what we'll do. I can get a guitar for you, and you can use your weird superhuman ability to learn instruments super quickly, and I'll sing..."

And she gave me the rest of the rundown. It seemed pretty simple to me, so after that, all we had to do was wait for the day to come where we'd perform.

And when that day came, Tris and Ryona volunteered to go first. Damn, I thought that was pretty brave of them. But of course what they performed was something that made me need brain bleach. Those two... their very presence needed to come with a supply of brain bleach. I mean, I knew them. I should've seen it coming. I shouldn't have suggested them perform together. But I did. Ugh.

The electronic beat started, and Tris started singing the "na na na na come on" part, and I facepalmed. And kept facepalming through the whole thing.

Of course Ryona was the one singing by the time they got to the chorus. You know the part. "Sticks and stones may break my bones but chains and whips excite me~"

Yeah. That was their song. Because of course it was. And given by the halfhearted applause everyone gave, they all seemed to agree with me about how awkward it was. I was so glad when it was over. Even though, after Tris went to sit back down, Ryona remained on stage. And she started gesturing to the rest of her Hebijo classmates. Was she going to do something else with them?

They all got up. All of them, even Ganondorf. Ganondorf, who looked particularly smug, while Murasaki looked almost more upset than usual. What was happening here?

"Yeah, now it's time for me to do the song I'm gonna do with the rest of my class!" she called out, as excitedly as ever. "We couldn't decide what to do, so we went with the idea that Ganni-chan came up with!"

Oh?

I sat there in morbid curiosity as the rest of the Hebijo class began playing instruments. I didn't know Murasaki knew how to play anything, but then I noticed Ganondorf's weird flower petal shaped pupils were glowing, so it was entirely possible that she was orchestrating everything and forcing them to do her song with her mind control power. It definitely seemed like it, as she started singing... and glaring directly at me.

"The same old boy, the same old house... my, how much you've grown, such a shame you'll die alone... it's been so long, but the time has come... if only I knew, I should've known it would be you..."

"I was young but I had always known, a barren desert that I roam, you could never understand how it feels to be alone... but I was meant to rule this world, you'd best say goodbye, now you're standing in my way and now I need my, I need my room to fly..."

"Now I don't mean to alarm you but these toys are far too much for you, now I aim to take what is mine and there's only one thing left to do now..."

"It resonates, I'll take it all, you're just in time to see the fall, you heed the ever-sounding call, now you've lost it all... called you the hero of our time, you're just a thief, took what is mine, our fates were always intertwined and soon you'll find that I will be your king!"

Well... that was... a thing. A thing that made me irrationally, or maybe rationally, angry. Like, really? She was going to sing that in front of everyone? Something basically telling me I was going to die and she was going to take over, in front of everyone. And I especially didn't know how to feel about the fact that the other shinobi were clapping for this. Maybe they just didn't understand how serious this really was? Or maybe they just wanted to be nice to save their own selves for the time being.

Anyway, it felt like a challenge, a challenge toward me to do something. And unfortunately I still wasn't going to be the one to start this fight. So I guessed that meant it was just my turn to do the song Zelda and I had planned. I told her this in my mind, then stepped up to the stage along with her. I played the guitar exactly as planned, and she sang.

"Look at me, I'm standing here before you with my heart on my sleeve, all you've gotta do for me is open up your mind and receive... I'm gonna tear away the walls around the system, I'm gonna get inside your head and make you listen, I'm the moon, I'm the stars, I'm the sun, from the end of the world I come... I am here to shine a light into the darkness, I am here to pick a fight with all the loveless, now the dawn of the damned has begun, from the end of the world I come... Please believe in me, I'm here, a river to the sea, and I'll stay if you want me to, and one day my vision will be true..."

I hoped our song would get a more positive reaction than Ganondorf's, even though that seemed like a petty thing to want. But it seemed about the same. Still, I didn't make any kind of fuss about it. I went and sat back down, as wordlessly as ever, and listened to everyone else's performances, showing appreciation where appropriate. The rest of the Hanzo class, besides Tris and myself, did a song they seemed to have done before, and I made sure to clap a lot for that one. The only thing that bothered me is that Murasaki looked sad the whole time. I wished I could have supported her more, so it was really unfortunate that she was forced to be part of a song that was literally about me getting my ass handed to me...

However, when everyone else was done, I had an idea. If Ryona could do two different songs, then so could I. Of course I'd need to get Zelda to help me. But I sent her a mental note, and the two of us got back up. On the way, I tapped Murasaki on the shoulder, and tugged her up on stage with me. She followed, even though she looked nervous and reluctant and stuff, and she'd even taken Bebe-tan up with her. I'd sent Zelda a mental note that she should do the same thing for Yumi, but she didn't. I guessed her crush hadn't progressed to the level of doing anything about it yet. So it was three of us. Oh, well. It'd do.

There was a keyboard remaining on the stage from the rest of the Hanzo class' performance, and so I started playing that. And Zelda started singing. And Murasaki stood there, clutching Bebe-tan, not knowing what to do. I pulled her close next to me before continuing to play.

"I'm a street fighter, I'm a ninja, no matter what it takes I'mma getcha, I am a samurai from the east side, oh oh oh, oh oh oh~ I'm a delinquent, swords on my back, I am the problem, and I know where you at, I am shameless in my awesomeness, oh oh oh, oh oh oh~"

"Love is my weapon, I'm gonna kill you with kisses, love is my weapon, and it never misses, I'mma spin you 'round 'round, I'mma knock you down down, I'mma take you out out, I'mma take you out out, with weapons of mass creation~"

"I'm an angel, got super-fast wings, I can save you with my angel bling, so amazing, blazing, oh oh oh, oh oh oh~ I'm anime, I got big eyes, I got that sharp steel flying through the sky, I am it yo in the video, oh oh oh, oh oh oh~"

"Unlock my arsenal and take out what you like, hope for a miracle 'cause I know how to fight... love is my weakness, love is my sickness, love is my cure... love is my weapon, I'm gonna kill you with kisses, love is my weapon, and it never misses, I'mma spin you 'round 'round, I'mma knock you down down, I'mma take you out out, I'mma take you out out, with weapons of mass creation~"

And at that part, I grabbed Murasaki, and kissed her on the cheek before shoving her playfully. Of course, she turned super red, but then... she leaned in and kissed me on the cheek back. That was something. Something good, something to make her feel appreciated. To make her feel better after being wrapped up in that... other song. Still, I skittered off the stage immediately, before everyone could react too harshly. And she dashed along with me. She only lingered up there for a moment when she noticed how many people were clapping for her, more than before.

And that was that humiliating activity.

While we were all leaving, Hanzo exited first, but Kat took an extra moment to linger behind with me. She had a weird smirk on her face I didn't quite like the thought of at the moment. But she gave me a more sympathetic gaze.

"What the hell was up with that one song? What's her problem anyway?"

I shrugged, only mildly concerned again when the smirk came back. I should've known what she was gonna do. She continued to linger, even as I passed, even as the Hebijo students started to exit. And as soon as Ganondorf walked past her, not suspecting anything, still even looking a little smug about how she was able to manipulate Murasaki against me... Kat struck with her typical Kat behavior. It was seconds before she reached around Ganondorf from behind, put her hands on Ganondorf's boobs, and was rubbing and squeezing and fondling all over the place.

"What are you doing, you little—"

"It's a rite of passage!" Kat played it off like it was nothing. "You're new here, so it's okay if you didn't know. But I've done this to, like, everyone. So it wouldn't be fair if I didn't do it to you. And you have such nice ones! Like, yours are bigger than mine, even. Even bigger than Linkle's." I cringed at this. "I really like 'em. They're so fun."

She was still groping. I guessed Ganondorf was too stunned to fight her off for a moment. But then she flung herself backwards, tossing Kat right off her and onto the ground. I scampered over to help Kat up. To be honest, I had to try hard not to smirk at this, or I'd probably get my ass handed to me early. And I did not feel like dealing with that kind of conflict today.

At the end, it occurred to me that no one was awarded anything, not like the cooking contest. It seemed as though the powers that be were only doing this to humiliate all of us somehow. Mostly me, because the powers that be really liked to humiliate me for some reason. I wondered if we'd maybe get some kinds of results later. Maybe another scroll that granted wishes again. That'd be helpful. But even if not... at least it was over.

There better not be anything else. What's next, like, some kind of prom queen thing? If that happened, I would have to cut a bitch. I really should've cut a bitch this time, but I'm too nice for that. Sometimes, it sucks being the nice one.