Title: Coming of Age.
By: Sharon Doyle
Started: 18th July 2002
Finished: 19th July 2002
Disclaimer: As per previous parts.
Summary: What dangerous game will Tess have to play to rid herself of recurrent demons?
Author's Notes: Thanks to the lovely Penny AGAIN!!! To Rel, who encouraged me to start any which way I could...just a few words is sometimes all it takes. To Fantasia, who I think is a closet Tess fan!!!
***
Tess looked out over the dark sports oval; the white goal posts were clearly visible under the bright moonlight. She shivered slightly, the night air was cool and in her sleeveless toga, Tess was freezing. Looking quickly at her watch, she stood.
"I'm going back inside," she stated.
"Why?" asked Damien.
"Because I want to, I'm getting cold." What a stupid question Tess thought to herself.
"I'll warm you Tess, baby I can make you so hot," Damien's voice was suggestive.
"I don't think so," Tess started to walk back towards the blaring music.
Before she'd even walked three paces Damien grabbed her shoulders from behind, "Now, now Tess, no need to be such a prick tease, I know you want this as much as I do." Damien wrestled a struggling Tess to the ground.
Tess attempted to fight back, she struggled valiantly, to no avail, Damien had so much more power that she would have imagined. At another time Tess may have marvelled at his strength but not when it was being used to subdue her. "No! Let me go! Get your hands off me, bastard," Tess managed to spit out the words before his hand clamped
down over her mouth.
***
"Tess, it's knock off time," Jonesy called from the door of the station. Getting no response he stepped outside. The air was getting colder and he pulled his jacket closer around his body. "Tess?" he questioned, placing his hand on her shoulder.
"Get your hands off me you bastard," Tess screamed, jumping to her feet her arms flailing around.
"What the .? Bloody hell Tess, what's going on?"
Instantly, Tess regretted her actions, an action borne from her past, an action that she was unable to control but that she wished like hell Jonesy hadn't been witness to. He had caught her unaware, but that was no excuse, her mind wanderings had to stop.
Tess shivered, but she couldn't be sure whether it was the temperature dropping as it did so quickly in Mt Thomas or from memories she'd rather not recall yet again. Looking quickly at her watch, she made her way into the station.
"Tess, wait, what was all that about?" Jonesy once again placed his hand on her shoulder halting her entrance to the station.
"You just startled me, that's all, don't worry," she didn't turn to face him not wanting him to see she was lying.
"Come on Tess, I've startled you before, you don't usually call me a bastard. Is it because of tonight? Are you worried? Maybe you shouldn't be doing this?"
"Excuse me constable, I am well aware of my own capabilities and I'll thank you not to question my judgement," Tess snapped, she shook his hands from her shoulders and stormed into the station. Removing her belt and gun, she signed her gun back in and put it in the safe.
Jonesy followed closely behind Tess all the way back to the watch house. As they both stepped inside, he closed the door, turning to face Tess he asked, "Tess I need to know something."
"Yeah," she replied absentmindedly, already tidying things in the kitchen
"At the brief today, you told the Boss you wouldn't wear a wire," his voice trailed off.
"Yes, that's right," Tess continued to occupy herself in the kitchen, she needed to keep busy, tonight was slowly creeping closer.
"Why? I don't get it, surely you'd want us to be with you."
"Look Jones, if I wear a wire and things get out of control.do I need to spell it out for you." Not once did she look at him, for fear he would see it in her eyes, her acute fear that something might happen that night. She longed to reveal to someone the extent of her fear, maybe then and only then would her pain diminish, but she wouldn't - couldn't. Tess Gallagher did not admit fear to anyone, not when her parents would leave her night after night alone at home, not ever. "Now, I'm going to have a shower and try those clothes of
Jo's." She turned and walked away, she didn't look up as she walked past him; she kept her eyes down and headed straight for her room.
***
Tess sat on the end of the bed staring at her reflection in the mirror. Gently she rubbed at a faint mark at the side of her nose, tracing her fingers round her eyes she brushed a few lines at the corner. Vanity wasn't something Tess was accustomed to feeling, but as she neared thirty she knew life's knocks were beginning to show on her face. She liked the term laughter lines rather than wrinkles, but her life hadn't been one full of laughter.
She looked into her own eyes, eyes now rimmed with eyeliner. Her upper lids were smudged with eye shadow; neutral tones from a compact Hayley had given her for Christmas. How many times had her eyes filled pain? How many times had she angrily quashed the feeling lest anyone could see? Life had hardened Tess on the outside, the visible side, but on the inside she was completely vulnerable.
Hair fluffed up more than usual Tess stood, checking her body in the mirror. Jo's top was low cut, revealing more of Tess' cleavage than she felt comfortable with. Tess knew she wasn't ugly, but she didn't consider herself beautiful either, why would she, no one had ever told her so. Tess fiddled with the hem of the pink lace top; her black bra was clearly visible beneath. The black pants were her own, they clung to her body like a second skin, sitting neatly around her hips and showing a vast expanse of her stomach, they skimmed to her calves before gently flaring to her ankles. She felt like changing but knew that tonight she had to play the game, a game she had never felt comfortable with - even as a teenager when with hormones raging most were so eager to play.
Tess didn't want to leave the safe confines of her room, didn't want to feel like she was on display. And she would be - there would be people at Shorties she would know, people she knew would be shocked at her appearance. Her biggest hurdle though would be getting past Evan. It didn't matter how many times she tried to deny it, she was attracted to him and she was unsure as to what his reaction would be when he saw her. Desperately she wanted him to ignore her and yet she yearned for his approval.
Reaching into her cupboard she pulled out her black heels - strappy things that rarely saw the light of day. She did up the tiny gold buckle at her slim ankle before taking one last glance in her mirror. Summoning her inner courage Tess opened her bedroom door and walked out.
Jonesy sat on the sofa, head buried in a newspaper. He'd showered and changed whilst Tess was in her room. He didn't look up until he heard Tess' heels clicking on the tiles near the kitchen. His silence unnerved Tess.
"Well say something, damn you," she snapped.
"I don't know what you want me to say Tess. You look.sensational," his eyes roamed her body lingering a little longer than necessary on her lace-clad breasts.
"I look cheap," she muttered under her breath, "why don't you say what you really mean?"
"Don't try and pick a fight Tess. So it may not be what you'd normally wear, but hell woman, you sure look hot."
Tess flushed at his words, her pleasure hidden within her sarcastic response, "right, whatever you reckon," she mumbled, turning away from his eyes.
"Not buying into it Tess, you asked me to say something I did, I told the truth, if you don't like it then that's your problem. C'mon it's nearly time to meet the others." He paused, deep in thought before continuing, "Umm Tess?"
Tess turned to see him holding out her black leather jacket, she put her arms through the sleeves as very gently he placed the jacket around her shoulders. His hands remained softly on her shoulders, a gentle weight meant only to reassure, "It's gonna be fine, Tess."
Tears filled Tess' eyes as she realised the extent of her feelings for this man. He knew her so well, had picked up on her discomfort, and to some extent, he had recognised that fear was her closest companion tonight. She blinked rapidly to clear her eyes, before
softly saying, "Thank you. I really mean it."
By: Sharon Doyle
Started: 18th July 2002
Finished: 19th July 2002
Disclaimer: As per previous parts.
Summary: What dangerous game will Tess have to play to rid herself of recurrent demons?
Author's Notes: Thanks to the lovely Penny AGAIN!!! To Rel, who encouraged me to start any which way I could...just a few words is sometimes all it takes. To Fantasia, who I think is a closet Tess fan!!!
***
Tess looked out over the dark sports oval; the white goal posts were clearly visible under the bright moonlight. She shivered slightly, the night air was cool and in her sleeveless toga, Tess was freezing. Looking quickly at her watch, she stood.
"I'm going back inside," she stated.
"Why?" asked Damien.
"Because I want to, I'm getting cold." What a stupid question Tess thought to herself.
"I'll warm you Tess, baby I can make you so hot," Damien's voice was suggestive.
"I don't think so," Tess started to walk back towards the blaring music.
Before she'd even walked three paces Damien grabbed her shoulders from behind, "Now, now Tess, no need to be such a prick tease, I know you want this as much as I do." Damien wrestled a struggling Tess to the ground.
Tess attempted to fight back, she struggled valiantly, to no avail, Damien had so much more power that she would have imagined. At another time Tess may have marvelled at his strength but not when it was being used to subdue her. "No! Let me go! Get your hands off me, bastard," Tess managed to spit out the words before his hand clamped
down over her mouth.
***
"Tess, it's knock off time," Jonesy called from the door of the station. Getting no response he stepped outside. The air was getting colder and he pulled his jacket closer around his body. "Tess?" he questioned, placing his hand on her shoulder.
"Get your hands off me you bastard," Tess screamed, jumping to her feet her arms flailing around.
"What the .? Bloody hell Tess, what's going on?"
Instantly, Tess regretted her actions, an action borne from her past, an action that she was unable to control but that she wished like hell Jonesy hadn't been witness to. He had caught her unaware, but that was no excuse, her mind wanderings had to stop.
Tess shivered, but she couldn't be sure whether it was the temperature dropping as it did so quickly in Mt Thomas or from memories she'd rather not recall yet again. Looking quickly at her watch, she made her way into the station.
"Tess, wait, what was all that about?" Jonesy once again placed his hand on her shoulder halting her entrance to the station.
"You just startled me, that's all, don't worry," she didn't turn to face him not wanting him to see she was lying.
"Come on Tess, I've startled you before, you don't usually call me a bastard. Is it because of tonight? Are you worried? Maybe you shouldn't be doing this?"
"Excuse me constable, I am well aware of my own capabilities and I'll thank you not to question my judgement," Tess snapped, she shook his hands from her shoulders and stormed into the station. Removing her belt and gun, she signed her gun back in and put it in the safe.
Jonesy followed closely behind Tess all the way back to the watch house. As they both stepped inside, he closed the door, turning to face Tess he asked, "Tess I need to know something."
"Yeah," she replied absentmindedly, already tidying things in the kitchen
"At the brief today, you told the Boss you wouldn't wear a wire," his voice trailed off.
"Yes, that's right," Tess continued to occupy herself in the kitchen, she needed to keep busy, tonight was slowly creeping closer.
"Why? I don't get it, surely you'd want us to be with you."
"Look Jones, if I wear a wire and things get out of control.do I need to spell it out for you." Not once did she look at him, for fear he would see it in her eyes, her acute fear that something might happen that night. She longed to reveal to someone the extent of her fear, maybe then and only then would her pain diminish, but she wouldn't - couldn't. Tess Gallagher did not admit fear to anyone, not when her parents would leave her night after night alone at home, not ever. "Now, I'm going to have a shower and try those clothes of
Jo's." She turned and walked away, she didn't look up as she walked past him; she kept her eyes down and headed straight for her room.
***
Tess sat on the end of the bed staring at her reflection in the mirror. Gently she rubbed at a faint mark at the side of her nose, tracing her fingers round her eyes she brushed a few lines at the corner. Vanity wasn't something Tess was accustomed to feeling, but as she neared thirty she knew life's knocks were beginning to show on her face. She liked the term laughter lines rather than wrinkles, but her life hadn't been one full of laughter.
She looked into her own eyes, eyes now rimmed with eyeliner. Her upper lids were smudged with eye shadow; neutral tones from a compact Hayley had given her for Christmas. How many times had her eyes filled pain? How many times had she angrily quashed the feeling lest anyone could see? Life had hardened Tess on the outside, the visible side, but on the inside she was completely vulnerable.
Hair fluffed up more than usual Tess stood, checking her body in the mirror. Jo's top was low cut, revealing more of Tess' cleavage than she felt comfortable with. Tess knew she wasn't ugly, but she didn't consider herself beautiful either, why would she, no one had ever told her so. Tess fiddled with the hem of the pink lace top; her black bra was clearly visible beneath. The black pants were her own, they clung to her body like a second skin, sitting neatly around her hips and showing a vast expanse of her stomach, they skimmed to her calves before gently flaring to her ankles. She felt like changing but knew that tonight she had to play the game, a game she had never felt comfortable with - even as a teenager when with hormones raging most were so eager to play.
Tess didn't want to leave the safe confines of her room, didn't want to feel like she was on display. And she would be - there would be people at Shorties she would know, people she knew would be shocked at her appearance. Her biggest hurdle though would be getting past Evan. It didn't matter how many times she tried to deny it, she was attracted to him and she was unsure as to what his reaction would be when he saw her. Desperately she wanted him to ignore her and yet she yearned for his approval.
Reaching into her cupboard she pulled out her black heels - strappy things that rarely saw the light of day. She did up the tiny gold buckle at her slim ankle before taking one last glance in her mirror. Summoning her inner courage Tess opened her bedroom door and walked out.
Jonesy sat on the sofa, head buried in a newspaper. He'd showered and changed whilst Tess was in her room. He didn't look up until he heard Tess' heels clicking on the tiles near the kitchen. His silence unnerved Tess.
"Well say something, damn you," she snapped.
"I don't know what you want me to say Tess. You look.sensational," his eyes roamed her body lingering a little longer than necessary on her lace-clad breasts.
"I look cheap," she muttered under her breath, "why don't you say what you really mean?"
"Don't try and pick a fight Tess. So it may not be what you'd normally wear, but hell woman, you sure look hot."
Tess flushed at his words, her pleasure hidden within her sarcastic response, "right, whatever you reckon," she mumbled, turning away from his eyes.
"Not buying into it Tess, you asked me to say something I did, I told the truth, if you don't like it then that's your problem. C'mon it's nearly time to meet the others." He paused, deep in thought before continuing, "Umm Tess?"
Tess turned to see him holding out her black leather jacket, she put her arms through the sleeves as very gently he placed the jacket around her shoulders. His hands remained softly on her shoulders, a gentle weight meant only to reassure, "It's gonna be fine, Tess."
Tears filled Tess' eyes as she realised the extent of her feelings for this man. He knew her so well, had picked up on her discomfort, and to some extent, he had recognised that fear was her closest companion tonight. She blinked rapidly to clear her eyes, before
softly saying, "Thank you. I really mean it."