Coming of Age # 5
Started: 23rd July 2002 Finished: 23rd July 2002
Disclaimer: Characters you know and love all belong to Channel 7 etc. Characters worthy only of hate unfortunately belong to me. Genre: Drama/Angst Rating: PG, once again, adult content Summary: Tess confronts her past, will she survive?
Author's Notes: I knew this fic was going to be hard to write from the very beginning, what I didn't know was how drained I would feel after the last two parts. Weird hey? Thanks to Penny, Fantasia, Caterina and Rel for all their support and feedback. And to everyone else that has sent feedback..a big thanks to you too!
***
Groggily Tess rubbed her bleary eyes, they hurt like hell and a blinding headache wasn't helping. As the fuzziness cleared she took in her surroundings, she was in a hospital, but had no recollection of how or why she was there. Her agitation became apparent to the nurse standing at the end of her bed, her eyes focused on the charts in her hand.
"It's okay," she said immediately going to Tess side, "Do you know where you are?"
"Hospital," Tess answered softly, her voice husky and barely audible.
"That's right," the nurse said kindly, "you're in Mt Thomas hospital."
"What happened?" Tess asked.
"That's not important right now." She walked to the door, looking out the small window, "there's a young man out here who has been waiting all night to see you, can I let him in?"
"Um, yes, I guess so," Tess hands automatically went to her hair.
"My dear, he isn't going to care how your hair looks, he's been like caged animal all night. He'll just be glad to know you're awake," the nurse opened the door beckoning Jonesy into the room. "I'll leave you to it, don't be too long, she needs to rest."
"What happened Evan?" she asked as soon as the nurse left the room.
He stood near her bed, silently staring at her, slowly he shook his head, "It doesn't matter Tess, not now, you just rest please and we'll talk about this later."
"No," Tess said with as much vehemence as she could muster. "I need to know now!"
***
He watched her, glad that finally she had fallen into an exhausted sleep. He knew he shouldn't have told her, knew that she needed rest, but he also knew that he couldn't refuse her anything. She remembered little of the previous night, the drug having obliterated most of her memories. She recalled talking to a man, but didn't know his name, she remembered walking into Shorties, but not leaving, she had no recollection of the events outside in the lane. At some stage during his vigil, he had no idea of the time, or how long he'd been with her, Jo joined him.
"How is she?" she whispered, fearful she may wake her.
"I don't know Jo. How are women when these things happen? She knows what happened, made me tell her, but she didn't say or do anything?"
"Shock?" asked Jo.
"Yeah, I guess. Jo, can you stay with her, I'm thinking that maybe she might want a woman around. I'm gonna go over to the station, see what's happening with that bastard."
***
Jo twisted uncomfortably in the chair. Shit! she thought, you'd think they'd provide better seating for families. Instantly she realised she had nothing to complain about, she wasn't the one lying in the hospital bed. As Tess stirred, she moved closer to the bed, picking up Tess' hand for comfort. Jo's eyes drifted to her face as she heard a small sigh. Tears streamed down Tess face, silent tears, tears causing Tess' obvious distress. Jo grabbed Tess in her arms, holding her tightly to her, gently rubbing her back in a slow rhythmic action. She rocked her, shushing her like one does a baby. Jo wasn't aware that Tom came to the door; looked in and walked away, she wasn't aware that Dr Mel came into the room and grabbed the chart. She simply gave the comfort that Tess needed.
Her head pounding and her eyes swollen, Tess sobbed till she had no more tears left. Exhausted, she lay back on her pillow, "I'm sorry," she said so softly Jo could barely here her.
"You have no reason to be sorry Tess. I'm the one who's sorry, I shouldn't have left you with him.yeah I know, it was all part of the op but we should've."
"Don't Jo, we can't change it, we just have to deal with it." Tess paused, "Jo would you mind leaving me alone?"
"You sure, Jonesy asked me to stay with you."
"I'm okay, I'd rather you went back to the station, I need you to get him Jo, this time the bastard will pay."
"This time?" Jo asked confused.
"Please Jo, just get him."
***
"We've nailed him Tess," Jonesy called out as soon as he walked through the door of the watch house. "Tess?" The watch house wasn't big, he knew she could hear him whatever room she was in, but for some reason she wasn't answering. Deciding she must be sleeping he quietly opened her door to look in on her.
"What the hell are you doing?" he yelled.
Startled, Tess jumped up from where she sat on the end of her bed, "Nothing, I wasn't doing anything."
"Right and we all hold a pair of scissors to our neck," he grabbed the scissors from where Tess had left them lying on the bed. Beside them lay a tattered photo, a photo of two young girls dressed in Toga's. Jonesy picked up the photo, looking first at it, then at Tess.
"Wow Tess, your hair was so long, when did you cut it?"
"That night," Tess muttered, glancing at the photo Jonesy still held.
***
Sophie found her curled beside her car, her toga ripped and bloodied around her waist. Tess didn't say anything, she didn't cry, she just sat passively in the car as Sophie drove home. She didn't ring Tess' mother, there was no need, knowing that she'd be completely drunk, and even if she wasn't, Sophie knew she wouldn't care. Slowly Sophie led Tess up the stairs to the bathroom, she ran the taps getting the temperature just right. No emotion showing, Tess stepped into the steaming water, letting it cover her entire body. She showered till there wasn't any hot water left, then let the cold- water wash over her as she sat in the corner of the cubicle. She didn't feel it, didn't feel the cold seep through her. The cubicle faced a mirror, and as she saw her face, hair lying limp and falling to her waist, she knew. There was one thing she had to do. Turning the taps off, she rummaged in the draws. Finding what she was looking for, Tess viciously hacked at her hair.
***
"But you look like you were going somewhere, why did you cut it?"
"Just because okay, now leave it, and give me back my scissors," she made a move to snatch the scissors from him.
"Fine I'll leave it, but I'm taking these with me," he turned and left the room, pausing at the door. "By the way, we got the bastard Tess, he wasn't working alone, which is why we didn't see him lace your drink."
"How?" she asked.
"We know from the tests, that the other two victims were assaulted by two men, it was the bartender Tess. But we got them both."
Tess sunk down on her bed, tears coursing down her face; they dripped from her chin to fall on her lap. She felt the bed dip as Jonesy sat beside her, draping his arm around her shoulders. "I'm here Tess, always."
"There's nothing you can do. It won't ever go away, I tried, so hard I tried. It's the reason I became a copper, to get bastards like that. I thought if I buried it, then I would forget it, but every time I faced an assault case it all came back. Every time a blonde with long hair walked past, every time Sophie called. She couldn't handle the guilt, felt responsible, I just wanted to forget. I was only seventeen, I had my whole life ahead, I was going to escape my childhood, escape my pain. He was so sweet, and then he raped me, I tried to fight him, tried to say no, but I couldn't, he was so strong. That's the night I cut my hair," Tess buried her head in Evan's shoulder.
Not much of her story made sense to Evan, he had no idea who Sophie was or why she felt responsible. He couldn't understand the pain she was living, a living hell. He knew Tess was strong but was she strong enough to face her demons again.
"Stay with me please," Tess asked, "I don't want to be alone."
"I'm not going anywhere, ever," he answered.
Tess heard his promise, but didn't question his reasons why. She needed him, needed him to hold her, stay with her, tell her that everything was going to be all right. She knew how wrong it was to depend on someone, but in her heart she knew he was different. This time, she knew she had someone to help her fight her demons, fight the nightmares that she knew would ravage her sleep, fight her fear of being alone. In her heart she knew he would never leave her.
Started: 23rd July 2002 Finished: 23rd July 2002
Disclaimer: Characters you know and love all belong to Channel 7 etc. Characters worthy only of hate unfortunately belong to me. Genre: Drama/Angst Rating: PG, once again, adult content Summary: Tess confronts her past, will she survive?
Author's Notes: I knew this fic was going to be hard to write from the very beginning, what I didn't know was how drained I would feel after the last two parts. Weird hey? Thanks to Penny, Fantasia, Caterina and Rel for all their support and feedback. And to everyone else that has sent feedback..a big thanks to you too!
***
Groggily Tess rubbed her bleary eyes, they hurt like hell and a blinding headache wasn't helping. As the fuzziness cleared she took in her surroundings, she was in a hospital, but had no recollection of how or why she was there. Her agitation became apparent to the nurse standing at the end of her bed, her eyes focused on the charts in her hand.
"It's okay," she said immediately going to Tess side, "Do you know where you are?"
"Hospital," Tess answered softly, her voice husky and barely audible.
"That's right," the nurse said kindly, "you're in Mt Thomas hospital."
"What happened?" Tess asked.
"That's not important right now." She walked to the door, looking out the small window, "there's a young man out here who has been waiting all night to see you, can I let him in?"
"Um, yes, I guess so," Tess hands automatically went to her hair.
"My dear, he isn't going to care how your hair looks, he's been like caged animal all night. He'll just be glad to know you're awake," the nurse opened the door beckoning Jonesy into the room. "I'll leave you to it, don't be too long, she needs to rest."
"What happened Evan?" she asked as soon as the nurse left the room.
He stood near her bed, silently staring at her, slowly he shook his head, "It doesn't matter Tess, not now, you just rest please and we'll talk about this later."
"No," Tess said with as much vehemence as she could muster. "I need to know now!"
***
He watched her, glad that finally she had fallen into an exhausted sleep. He knew he shouldn't have told her, knew that she needed rest, but he also knew that he couldn't refuse her anything. She remembered little of the previous night, the drug having obliterated most of her memories. She recalled talking to a man, but didn't know his name, she remembered walking into Shorties, but not leaving, she had no recollection of the events outside in the lane. At some stage during his vigil, he had no idea of the time, or how long he'd been with her, Jo joined him.
"How is she?" she whispered, fearful she may wake her.
"I don't know Jo. How are women when these things happen? She knows what happened, made me tell her, but she didn't say or do anything?"
"Shock?" asked Jo.
"Yeah, I guess. Jo, can you stay with her, I'm thinking that maybe she might want a woman around. I'm gonna go over to the station, see what's happening with that bastard."
***
Jo twisted uncomfortably in the chair. Shit! she thought, you'd think they'd provide better seating for families. Instantly she realised she had nothing to complain about, she wasn't the one lying in the hospital bed. As Tess stirred, she moved closer to the bed, picking up Tess' hand for comfort. Jo's eyes drifted to her face as she heard a small sigh. Tears streamed down Tess face, silent tears, tears causing Tess' obvious distress. Jo grabbed Tess in her arms, holding her tightly to her, gently rubbing her back in a slow rhythmic action. She rocked her, shushing her like one does a baby. Jo wasn't aware that Tom came to the door; looked in and walked away, she wasn't aware that Dr Mel came into the room and grabbed the chart. She simply gave the comfort that Tess needed.
Her head pounding and her eyes swollen, Tess sobbed till she had no more tears left. Exhausted, she lay back on her pillow, "I'm sorry," she said so softly Jo could barely here her.
"You have no reason to be sorry Tess. I'm the one who's sorry, I shouldn't have left you with him.yeah I know, it was all part of the op but we should've."
"Don't Jo, we can't change it, we just have to deal with it." Tess paused, "Jo would you mind leaving me alone?"
"You sure, Jonesy asked me to stay with you."
"I'm okay, I'd rather you went back to the station, I need you to get him Jo, this time the bastard will pay."
"This time?" Jo asked confused.
"Please Jo, just get him."
***
"We've nailed him Tess," Jonesy called out as soon as he walked through the door of the watch house. "Tess?" The watch house wasn't big, he knew she could hear him whatever room she was in, but for some reason she wasn't answering. Deciding she must be sleeping he quietly opened her door to look in on her.
"What the hell are you doing?" he yelled.
Startled, Tess jumped up from where she sat on the end of her bed, "Nothing, I wasn't doing anything."
"Right and we all hold a pair of scissors to our neck," he grabbed the scissors from where Tess had left them lying on the bed. Beside them lay a tattered photo, a photo of two young girls dressed in Toga's. Jonesy picked up the photo, looking first at it, then at Tess.
"Wow Tess, your hair was so long, when did you cut it?"
"That night," Tess muttered, glancing at the photo Jonesy still held.
***
Sophie found her curled beside her car, her toga ripped and bloodied around her waist. Tess didn't say anything, she didn't cry, she just sat passively in the car as Sophie drove home. She didn't ring Tess' mother, there was no need, knowing that she'd be completely drunk, and even if she wasn't, Sophie knew she wouldn't care. Slowly Sophie led Tess up the stairs to the bathroom, she ran the taps getting the temperature just right. No emotion showing, Tess stepped into the steaming water, letting it cover her entire body. She showered till there wasn't any hot water left, then let the cold- water wash over her as she sat in the corner of the cubicle. She didn't feel it, didn't feel the cold seep through her. The cubicle faced a mirror, and as she saw her face, hair lying limp and falling to her waist, she knew. There was one thing she had to do. Turning the taps off, she rummaged in the draws. Finding what she was looking for, Tess viciously hacked at her hair.
***
"But you look like you were going somewhere, why did you cut it?"
"Just because okay, now leave it, and give me back my scissors," she made a move to snatch the scissors from him.
"Fine I'll leave it, but I'm taking these with me," he turned and left the room, pausing at the door. "By the way, we got the bastard Tess, he wasn't working alone, which is why we didn't see him lace your drink."
"How?" she asked.
"We know from the tests, that the other two victims were assaulted by two men, it was the bartender Tess. But we got them both."
Tess sunk down on her bed, tears coursing down her face; they dripped from her chin to fall on her lap. She felt the bed dip as Jonesy sat beside her, draping his arm around her shoulders. "I'm here Tess, always."
"There's nothing you can do. It won't ever go away, I tried, so hard I tried. It's the reason I became a copper, to get bastards like that. I thought if I buried it, then I would forget it, but every time I faced an assault case it all came back. Every time a blonde with long hair walked past, every time Sophie called. She couldn't handle the guilt, felt responsible, I just wanted to forget. I was only seventeen, I had my whole life ahead, I was going to escape my childhood, escape my pain. He was so sweet, and then he raped me, I tried to fight him, tried to say no, but I couldn't, he was so strong. That's the night I cut my hair," Tess buried her head in Evan's shoulder.
Not much of her story made sense to Evan, he had no idea who Sophie was or why she felt responsible. He couldn't understand the pain she was living, a living hell. He knew Tess was strong but was she strong enough to face her demons again.
"Stay with me please," Tess asked, "I don't want to be alone."
"I'm not going anywhere, ever," he answered.
Tess heard his promise, but didn't question his reasons why. She needed him, needed him to hold her, stay with her, tell her that everything was going to be all right. She knew how wrong it was to depend on someone, but in her heart she knew he was different. This time, she knew she had someone to help her fight her demons, fight the nightmares that she knew would ravage her sleep, fight her fear of being alone. In her heart she knew he would never leave her.