Standard Disclaimers Apply.
Confusion… To Love or Not to Love
Kenshin ran as fast as he could after the curtains had closed. I need to get out of here… He exited the theater through the back door and ran towards the park. He kept on running and running to wherever his feet will take him. Stopping to catch his breath, he let out a loud cry, "Aaaaarrrrrgghhhhh!!!!!" as he burst into tears. Why is this happening?!
His breathing was shallow as he felt his heart literally aching. He needed to find a quiet place. A sanctuary or any place where he could think. He turned around, shocked as he found himself standing beside an all too familiar riverbank. Feeling his heart shatter once again, he fell on his knees.
Why does fate seem to play tricks on me? No wonder there was an immediate attraction between Kaoru and I… our love ended before it even began!!! Such an irony! Why am I remembering all these? Is it because it is a sign… a warning maybe… that our love is not meant to be. Kenshin shook his head in utter frustration as he continued, But I love her… I really love her! Even when I was acting in the play, I could feel my heart aching for her. Is that all that happened? I saved her… I left her and when I finally returned… I died? I am so confused!!! Does that mean that Aoshi was the one who killed me? It's possible because of the coldness he always show when he's around, but I thought that it was normal… that he is really like that. Kenshin sighed. Is this everything that I am supposed to remember? If this is it, then why am I still confused? Why is my head still filled with questions? I feel that there are more… that there are more important things that I should remember… but what?
~~~~~
Kaoru's lips were quivering as she looked around the stage, searching for Kenshin. Trying to keep her composure, she stood up and gave the audience a bow.
The audience roared their appreciation as they threw flowers to the stage.
As soon as the curtains closed again, Kaoru rushed frantically off the stage but she was held back by Professor Fujita. He grabbed Kaoru's arm and glared at her, "Where do you think you're going? The curtain call is not over yet."
Kaoru jerked her arm off and sneered, "Let go of me, Saitoh!!!"
Professor Fujita was shocked at her sudden outburst as he watched her ran out of the theater. Che! I guess that tanuki stubbornness will never wear off whatever persona she portrays.
~~~~~
Meanwhile, at the backstage, Misao cradled Aoshi's head on her lap as she stroked his hair. Aoshi-sama… please be okay… why did this have to happen? Now, the pain you held before has returned…I knew it! I had a bad feeling about your fight with Himura. Aoshi-sama… does this mean that your love for me will go back to the sisterly affection you showed me before?
Aoshi slowly regained consciousness as fat drops of water fell on his cheeks. He opened his eyes and saw glassy blue-green eyes staring at him with much worry and sadness. He whispered as he held up his hand to reach her cheek, "…Misao."
"Aoshi-sama! You're alright!!!" Misao exclaimed, pulling him up for an embrace. Wiping the tears from her eyes, she said, "Aoshi-sama!! Do you remember everything now?"
Shaking his head, he said, "No, most of my memory has returned but I don't know if that's everything already." Aoshi used his arm for support as he sat up straight, facing Misao. He tucked a stray her on her ear and cupped her face, "Misao, why are we back to Aoshi-sama? I thought we have already talked about it."
"But Aoshi-sama…" Misao protested.
"Misao, we're not in the Meiji anymore." Aoshi said as he pressed a tender kiss on her nose.
Misao sighed of relief and smiled while fluttering her eyes at him, "I know… But I guess, I love you the same" She placed her hand on the back of his neck as she pulled him down for a kiss. She murmured, "… maybe even more."
Aoshi smiled sincerely at this and whispered in between the kisses, "I'm glad we were given this second chance."
~~~~~
"Tori-chan…"Megumi sobbed on Sanosuke's chest. "I am so confused… it's like the more I remember, the more things get mixed up."
"Shhush kitsune-chan, we don't really need to understand things, we just need to feel things," Sano said as he took Megumi's hand and placed it on top of his heart. He hugged her tightly and whispered into her ear, "Megumi, whatever happened that time… even if we don't understand it… even if we never even remembered them, my feelings won't change… I love you."
"Really?" Megumi pulled back to look into his eyes, "Even if we went our own ways after the Enishi incident?"
"Really. You know what?" Sano asked with mischief in his eyes. "It made me desire you even more now," he said as he pressed a hard and passionate kiss on Megumi's lips.
Megumi surrendered to the sensation and warmth that Sano provided as she responded to his kiss with all the love that she hasn't given him on their past life. To make themselves more comfortable, Megumi pulled Sano down on their floor as they continued their show of affection.
Sano grinned at Megumi's boldness as he allowed himself to be led by her. Snapping back to reality, he remembered that the play had just finished so he reached his hand up the controls to open the house lights as he slowly laid down on top of Megumi.
~~~~~
When the house lights were finally turned on, Yahiko held Tsubame's hand and said, "Tsubame, let's talk to Sano and Megumi."
Tsubame blushed at his sudden boldness as she nodded.
Yahiko tightened his grip on her hand as he led the way towards the technical room. Tsubame waved at Tae for permission and Tae nodded as she slumped to her seat, waiting until all the information that bombarded her had sunk in.
Before opening the door to the technical room, Tsubame tugged Yahiko's hand causing him to stop. Yahiko turned around and asked, "Is there anything wrong, Tsubame-chan?"
Tsubame shook her head and smiled shyly at Yahiko. She blushed as she pulled him close for a kiss.
Yahiko's face heated up, surprised at Tsubame's audacity.
Tsubame pulled away almost instantly, causing Yahiko to frown. She blushed, "Sorry Yahiko-kun… I didn't know what came over me.
Yahiko gave her a cocky grin and said, "Why are you so embarrassed for? We used to do that all the time." Yahiko placed his arms around Tsubame as he pulled her over for a kiss.
Tsubame blushed even more as she pulled away, breathing heavily, "Yahiko-kun…"
"Tsubame-chan," he said holding her hand. "I'm sorry… but I think we need to clear things up with the others… can we talk about us later?"
Tsubame nodded while smiling.
Turning around, Yahiko slammed the door open, surprising Sano and Megumi, who were in the middle of a steamy session. Sano and Megumi jumped apart upon seeing the two enter the room.
"Teme! Don't you know how to knock!?" Sanosuke growled.
"We're in the middle of this crisis and all that you can think about is gratifying your libido? Sano, what the hell is going on!?" Yahiko demanded.
"Chikuso! You're asking me? How should I know!!" Sano yelled back.
Tsubame took steps back as she muttered, "Kowaii."
Megumi stood up and slapped the two men as she approached Tsubame, "Stupid men! You're scaring Tsubame. You don't need to point fingers because I am sure that none of us has even the slighted idea of why is this happening. Why don't we look for the others so that we could talk about this and sort our memory. If I am not mistaken, most of us still feel confused." She looked at everybody for approval.
Everybody nodded.
Flipping her hair, she said authoritatively, "Well then, let's meet them at the stage so we can talk." Megumi started walking to the front part of the theater. The others looked at each other quizzically but decided to follow Megumi.
~~~~~
Kaoru ran out of the theater and searched the whole town anxiously for Kenshin. Hours had passed, her eyes were sore because of so much crying and her feet were tired because of so much running. She had no plans of stopping but, on her way back to the theater to ask her friends, she stumbled on a pit, twisting her ankle. She bit her lip to prevent herself from crying out in pain. Just my luck! Kenshin, where are you now? She looked up the sky as she felt warm tears spill from her eyes again. Kenshin, why did you leave me? Why do you always leave me? Don't you love me enough to stay?
~~~~~
Sorry, Kaoru… I love you too much… that's why I can't stay… Kenshin sighed as looked up the sky. Kaoru… love, even if I do leave, we'll always be under the same stars… so… I guess, we're never really too far apart, ne? He thought as a consolation for himself. With a heavy heart, he stood up from his seat. He closed his eyes, trying to savor Kaor'us smile but what he saw was a picture of Kaoru's crying face, I'm sorry Kaoru… I won't let myself hurt you the way I did before. Forgive me…
~~~~~
Kenshin opened the door to Kaoru's town house, wary of anybody's presence. Upon the confirmation that the house was empty, Kenshin went straight to his room to pack his clothes. When he had finally finished, he stopped in front of the door to look around his home. He caught sight of Kaoru's picture frames on the side tables. Sorry, Kaoru… I just want something tangible to remember you by…Kenshin lifted the frame and held it to his heart. Shaking his head, he said to himself, "No, I don't need this as a reminder. You'll always be in my heart, Kaoru, wherever I go, whatever lifetime we are in." Before returning the frame on its place, he tenderly kissed Kaoru's lips and whispered, "Goodbye, love." He took a letter he wrote a while ago and left it on the table under her frame. After that, he let out a deep sigh and walked out of the door.
Kenshin had already rounded the corner when the cab Kaoru hired stopped in front of her house. Seeing that all of the lights inside her house were still turned off, Kaoru panicked. She dragged her swollen ankle as she ran awkwardly towards her house. Slamming the door open, her face paled as her heart started beating rapidly, Empty. As if letting it all sink in, she stared into space. After a few seconds, she gave in to instinct as she rushed towards Kenshin's room. She slammed his closet doors open.
"Empty," she whispered to herself as she felt her heart burning. She couldn't believe her eyes so she closed them and held out her hand to feel if her eyes were just playing tricks on her. It's truly empty. Her knees gave up on her as she fell on the floor. She clutched her chest because of so much heartache but not a tear fell from her eyes. The pain inflicted on her was so great that she just felt numb. Numb and devastatingly empty.
She closed her eyes once again and traced Kenshin's features in the air using her fingers, "Kenshin, why did you leave me again? You promised me you won't leave. You promised…"
She opened her eyes, allowing the despair to embrace her. She crawled towards the corner of the room as she pulled the blanket and wrapped it around her. She sat on the corner, hugging her knees while she stared out the bedroom window. She took a deep breath, only to have Kenshin's scent overwhelm her senses. She said sadly, "Oh Kenshin! You even smell the same as before. You never change, don't you?" She closed her eyes to prevent her tears to gush as she whispered in a forced cheerful tone, "You never changed, love. Until now, you still left me." She hugged her knees tighter. Unable to hold back feelings of love, sorrow, emptiness and despair, she broke down. Ken… shin. I love you so much! If only you know… Kenshin? Does this mean that the signs are right… That our love is not meant to be. If this is the right thing… why do I feel as if I am not living anymore… like I am just merely existing because I have lost you. I have lost my heart. Why did this have to happen?!! We were so happy already without this memories coming back to us! Kenshin… I love you… Kaoru moaned in pain as she continued to sob forcefully. She could hardly breathe because of so much heartache but she can't compel herself to stop crying. Why do you have to leave me? Past is past Kenshin… this is the present!!! Ugh! Why did I have to love you so much if we were meant to be apart… Why?
~~~~~~
In the middle of the night, Kaoru woke up, feeling sore all over her body. She crawled on top of Kenshin's bed to prepare herself for sleep. Before finally succumbing to slumber, she wrapped the blanket all over her body, trying to seek comfort for her lost love.
Author's Notes:
The next couple of chapters will be focused on Kenshin and Kaoru's love.
Everyone is asking about the Jinchuu arc. I didn't forget about it. I left it out on purpose. Please bear with me and you'll know soon enough. I am still thinking about my next move. ^_^
Special thanks to all those who left a review! I love you guys!
Claria- oh my, that is sooo sweet!
Omochi- I also hate that, which is exactly why I pretend that its just an angsty fanfics.
Oro101- OMG! I was so gaping when I read your review! That is the longest review I had read in history! It'll go in the record! You rock Oro-dono!
DFourthHorseman- thanks for the wonderful compliment and suggestion! ^_^ I really appreciate it. Actually, this fic is about how they will find out about their past life. It can't really affect them until they find out, right? But in a way, it had already affected them by strengthening their bonds. About using the past to develop the story, I am currently working on that. Keepp on reading! ^_^
Bunny- thanks for that! I, too, can't wait for your update!
M@ry- basically, it ended like that. The way my last scene was. Sob! sob!
Takato Taikashi- I have a plan for Jinchuu arc.
Shin-chan, Manina, Rei2- you got it!
Saiera- thanks I was kindda worried that it might be confusing.
ArtemisMoon- I am glad you see right through me. That was my exact purpose why I chose them.
Hatokirei, Marta- I hope this chap answers your question.
E-chan- sob! I really love that song!
Hana-chan- thank you so much! You helped me a lot in this so I want you to share my success! ^_^
Someone- that fic will be updated next week, finally!
Aki- about the bad guys, I am still planning about it.
JK- ugh! Mandarin is hard! With all those characters to memorize, my friend almost went crazy when she took that.
Chibigreemwizardmon- Thanks for that original cheer! It made me dance along with it!
Kamimura Kaoru- I hope my emails helped you. You can always mail me, ok? ^_^
Yalthestampeded, Lizzie, Gypsy-chan- thanks that was really the hardest chaps I wrote in this fic. I had to watched the series again, pausing every dialogue just to take them down. But it's worth it!
Battousai angel, Blueangel- they already know , but they still need to sort out their memories.
Marstanuki- thanks for the constructive review.
Tan Kimiko- hope this answers your question. ^_^
Kitsunegurl- for the extra effort you guys put in to review, the least thing I could do is to reply, right?
Dementedchris- Yup, if I were in their shoes, I don't know what I'd do.
Midori- more A/M as requested.
Onna- love your website. Wanna get our sites linked?
JML- I am leaving that window open for now. Ugh! No killer diseases here! I hated that! Gah!
Special thanks to Hana-chan for pre-reading.
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