Disclaimers: See the Author's Notes! Rated R for major angst, eventual attempted rape, and sexual innuendo. Not my song; it belongs to Enya! This is an AU! Elvish is in ' '; Common is in " "; Aragorn and Legolas' thoughts are in .

Amin Ai Olin
(My Little Secret)

Part 3. Demad Amin
(Forget Me)

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Who can say why your heart sighs,
As your love flies?
Only time...
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Elessar was incredulous. Why was Legolas acting so stubborn about this? Elessar was not going to let Legolas work himself to death, no matter what he had to do.

'Legolas, this isn't like you. You've never minded before when I tried to help you,' Elessar finally said. 'Why is it different this time?'

Legolas narrowed his cobalt eyes. 'There are other people who are far worse off than me, Elessar. Why don't you help them? I have my son, a roof over my head, and decent food; I need nothing else. I am not a child and I do not need you to treat me like one. I made a decision all those years ago; I knew how hard it would be to raise a child by myself. I have never regretted my decision, for Elleelen has brought joy into my life, and he loves me.'

'You expect me to just walk away and leave you here?' Elessar asked sarcastically. 'I can't do that, Legolas.'

'I'm telling you to, Elessar. Forget you saw me; return to Gondor and take care of Kasia,' Legolas replied sincerely. 'She needs you far more than I.'

Elessar questioned, 'Why did you help her? Since I seem to no longer be your best friend, you had no reason to.'

Legolas raised one of his dark eyebrows slightly. 'Elessar, I would have saved anyone who was being kidnapped like she was. I didn't know she was your daughter.' He sighed and whispered, 'Forget about me, Elessar.'

Elessar grabbed Legolas by the shoulders and fiercely shook him. 'I could never forget you, Legolas! We've been friends for countless years. Why are you suddenly changing that? Did I do something to offend you?'

'Nay, Elessar! I made my bed and now I must lie in it,' Legolas said. Though his love for the Man who stood next to him still remained, even after ten years of exile. The love Legolas felt had, however, slowly died from a burning fire to the faint warmth of a flickering match, which sputtered as it tried not to die.

The former Elven Prince had long given up hope of ever being with Aragorn, even after Arwen had died. He'd had no idea, for he was far away when the news reached him of her death. If truth be told, Legolas could have saved her life, had he been in Gondor. But instead, he had been caring for his son, who had been only one at that time. When he wasn't taking care of Elleelen, Legolas had been working as a waiter in a tavern, until the tavern owner had tried to make him become a prostitute.

Legolas had refused to sell his self-respect, and still possessed it now. Though there was a quieter way about him, for his long, lonely, hard years had taught him just how pampered he had been as an Elven Prince. Begging for food the first two years of Elleelen's life had been degrading, but it had been worth it, to keep his son fed. To see the joy in Elleelen's eyes when they had something good to eat.

After those two years, Legolas had been taken on as an assistant servant by Lord Allen, who had swiftly promoted him up to the head of the servants in his house near Rohan. The Lord was kindly and never raised a hand to him, and more than generous. When Elleelen was ill, Legolas was allowed time off to tend to his child, and he had a very good job.

Legolas had, however, been reluctant to move so near to Gondor, when Lord Allen had asked it of him. But the increase in his wages was too much to pass up; if Legolas worked here for another three years, he would have enough money to buy a house for himself and Elleelen to live in. Now Aragorn was here and he just wanted to control everything.

Elessar snapped, 'Who is his fat- other father? Why isn't he here, helping you to raise your son?'

'Elleelen is my son's name,' Legolas retorted. 'As for his sire. I do not have to tell you. Since when do I have to account to you for anything?'

'Since whoever the bastard is left you to fend for yourself and Elleelen,' Elessar argued. Part of him was jealous. Jealous that Legolas had been with someone else instead of him.

Legolas silently wondered what Elessar would do if he realized he was calling himself a bastard.

'Elessar... the truth is... he does not know. He was to be married at the time, and I didn't want to break up his marriage. Though I loved him dearly, I had to let him go,' Legolas murmured.

Elessar sighed, 'Legolas… A father has the right to know if he has a child, and the child has the right to know his father. And I never knew you were the type to get involved with another's husband.'

'It was short-lived; one night,' Legolas muttered. He was more determined now than ever to keep Elessar from knowing that he was Elleelen's father, especially after what he had just said. Nothing Legolas could say would justify his actions to Elessar, at least in his opinion, the beautiful Elf mused. 'Elessar, I have a job I need to do right now. We can talk about this later. And I am not going to Gondor. That's final.'

Elessar silently thought to himself, If you think I'm going to give up so easily, Legolas, you're dead wrong. What are you hiding from me? The handsome Man gazed at Legolas, before slowly drifting out a hand to touch his cheek.

Legolas gasped softly at the hand on his face. A wave of desire swept through him, as he licked his lips. Oh, Elbereth! Legolas silently groaned. How can he still do this to me, even after all this time?

It was as it had always been; one touch from Elessar was enough to make Legolas forget about everything else. Even about the secret he was hiding from the Man who was looking at him wordlessly.

Elessar briefly wondered why this felt so familiar, lowering his gaze to that perfect, inviting mouth, which was slightly parted. As if drawn in by magic, Elessar ever so softly kissed Legolas, and, suddenly overcome with soaring need and heat, the soft kiss turned harder.

Legolas' body responded to it, as his own lips feverishly returned the kiss. Hands swept around his waist, pulling him closer, until they were pressed against each other, greedily kissing the other hungrily.

A betraying moan left Legolas, and it sobered him up. He could not afford to get pregnant by Elessar a second time, which was a very real possibility. Not now, not with Elleelen to worry about.

'No, Elessar,' he stated firmly, trying to step back.

Elessar peered into Legolas' eyes, trying to understand how this seemed like it had happened before. A sudden flashback appeared in his mind.

***********
Flashback
***********

It was fuzzy... hazy. A voice called to Elessar, who could barely make out anything in his blurry vision. Elessar could not see anything clearly, as he lay on the bed.

Something warm and sweet lay underneath him, uttering delicate cries. Sweet kisses… Soft lips… Smooth skin…

His hands seemed to have a life of their own, as they caressed a silky, pale body, though Elessar could not make out who it was. Soft giggles were what he heard, feeling a squirming body pressed against him, as he made love to the person.

It was sweet and tender, accompanied by groans and whimpers for more.

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Elessar shook his head slightly, wondering where that had come from. He took a closer look at Legolas, who had a tense expression on his face. The King of Gondor didn't understand all of this, but he refused to just pretend that he had not seen Legolas.

Legolas jerked free and stepped back from his best friend. 'Leave me be, Elessar. I don't want you to touch me or kiss me.' His voice was cold and matter-of-fact.

'Then why are you trembling? And why did you kiss me back?' Elessar harshly questioned, as he watched the faint trembles with calculating eyes.

"Am I interrupting?" Raid flatly said. He glanced at Legolas, narrowing his dark eyes. "Tis not my place to come fetch a late servant. You'd do well to remember your place, Elf.'

Legolas wordlessly glared at Raid, but said nothing. He silently bowed, slow and deliberately to Elessar, before leaving. He would not pick a fight with the son of Lord Allen. He owed the Man too much for that.

Elessar was angered by the bow Legolas had given him. He knew it was meant to be a slap in his face; a reminder of just how different their positions were now. He was a King, and Legolas was a servant. A servant, yes, but still a beautiful Elf. Elessar might have taken a few moments to think of a might-have-been wistfully, if Raid had not cleared his throat and gestured for him to walk ahead of him.

Elessar disliked Lord Allen's son, because of his condescending attitude. The youth never failed to talk down to those that he considered less than him. Though he did suck up to those who were of a higher rank- like him. Elessar was upset because of what Raid had said to Legolas, about the Elf remembering his place.

The King of Gondor silently walked back to greet his friend, for he knew Lord Allen well. The two had been friends since the day Lord Allen had saved his life from an assassination attempt a few years ago. Elessar had gratefully given Lord Allen an offer of any reward he could name; the only thing he asked for was a permanent home near Gondor, for Lord Allen was a wealthy Man in his own right and did not need money. But he desired to live closer to Gondor, for it was better for his wife.

Lord Allen was pleased to see King Elessar again, as he half-carried his wife into the house. Legolas was instructing the other servants to be careful bringing in the luggage, as he himself carried the two heaviest trunks. He winced slightly, but showed no other sign of pain, as he promptly placed the trunks in the large and spacious room that Lord Allen shared with his wife.

Legolas took a few moments, glancing around to make certain that everything was in order. Scented candles were lit, giving the finely furnished room a sweet smell. The rug had been swept, and the silk, satin, and velvet blankets on the large bed had been turned down, for the mistress. The bookshelf was freshly polished and the books straightened. The walls had a few tapestries hanging from them, the symbol of Gondor on them.

Legolas gave a satisfied nod and returned to the hallway. His mistress was practically asleep standing up, the Elf noted, so he waited for a lull in the conversation before demurely questioning, "Do you need rest, my lady?"

Lady Marian smiled at the Elven servant, for she was a gentle soul. "I believe I do," she answered, before looking at her husband. She was fond of Legolas, and knew she could trust him with any errand she might have for him, because he had proved his loyalty numerous times.

Many had tried to bribe Legolas away, but he turned them all down. As long as he- and Elleelen- were well treated, he was not going to turn his back on the kindness that Lord Allen and Lady Marian had shown him.

"Please escort her to the bedroom," Lord Allen requested, looking at his wife with concern on his face. Yet he did not want to be rude to the King, either, so he was torn between his love for his wife, and his friendship with Elessar.

Legolas nodded and silently walked over to Lady Marian, who took a hold of his arm. She

apologized to both Elessar and her husband for being such a poor hostess, before allowing Legolas to lead her to the bedroom.

Once there, Lady Marian entered and climbed directly into bed. Legolas removed her shoes and covered her with the blankets when he realized that she had fallen asleep the instant she had laid down. The Elf blew out the candles and left noiselessly, closing the door behind him.

Elessar, Lord Allen, and Raid were now sitting at the fancy, carved, natural wood table, with the King of Gondor at the head of the table, because of Allen's insistence, and the other two seated on his right.

Legolas was officially free for the evening now, so he went outside to fetch Elleelen, who was waiting for him. His young son ran over to him, and was swept up into his father's arms, laughing. The merry laughter of youth echoed around the silence of the evening.

Legolas pressed his face close to Elleelen's, which was a combination of his face, as well as Elessar's. Blue eyes gazed at grey ones, and identical smiles appeared on each.

Elessar had stepped to the doorway, along with Lord Allen, while waiting for the food to finish cooking, and the two watched the father and son.

Elleelen hugged his father closely, with an expression of adoration on his young face. 'I love you, daddy.'

'I love you too, my son. Nothing will ever change that,' Legolas returned fiercely. He enjoyed these moments with his son, who was all he had in the world.

Elleelen saw the sad expression in his father's eyes and began tickling him, to cheer him up. Legolas laughed and turned a doting expression on his son.

Lord Allen was surprised at the strange expression on his friend's face, as Elessar gazed directly at the blond, beautiful Elf. "Do you fancy him, my king?" he questioned quietly.

Elessar looked straight at his friend. "Legolas is-was my best friend, until he disappeared ten years ago. I found out why he ran, but I do not understand why he shuns my offer of help."

Lord Allen chuckled softly. "He is stubborn and does not desire pity. It is enough for him that Elleelen loves him with his whole heart and soul."

"Do you know who his sire is?" Elessar asked, sighing.

"I have my suspicions. But he will not say. He keeps his secrets to himself and raises Elleelen well." Lord Allen met Elessar's grey eyes.

Elessar nodded slowly and looked carefully at the young boy, whose hair and skin coloring matched Legolas' perfectly. "He looks about as young as my daughter, Kasia," the king mused thoughtfully.

Lord Allen looked directly at Elessar. "Elleelen is Kasia's age exactly; they share a birth date. I know this because Legolas requested the day off to spend with his son."

"Interesting," Elessar murmured. His attention was still focused primarily on the tall, slender Elf that was currently carrying his son on his shoulders, heading towards the servants' quarters.

"Yes, indeed," Lord Allen replied, hiding a smile.

Neither of them noticed the youth staring at Legolas, until the cook came to tell them that dinner was ready. The three sat down to eat again, but there was merely silence during the meal.

Lord Allen was pleased, for he knew that Elessar was a good friend of Legolas'. He had not told the Elf when he hired him that he had been aware of his past and who he truly was. Allen had known that if he told Legolas he knew the truth that the former Prince would not have agreed to work for him. He glanced over at the King of Gondor, who was eating slowly, as if his mind was on something- or someone else.

Elessar was still trying to figure out a way to get Legolas to come to Gondor with him, along with his son. He was still surprised that Legolas was vehemently refusing his offers of help. Legolas might be stubborn, but he was even more stubborn. If he had to, Elessar would order his soldiers to drag the two Elves to Gondor.

Raid was still pondering over how he could not have noticed the Elven servant before, along with the small boy. Both had a strange beauty to them, in his opinion. If he failed with one, there was always the other.

Legolas readied his half asleep son for bed, in his small room. Elleelen yawned sleepily, leaning against his father, as his little shoes were removed. He brought his hands up and rubbed his eyes, before he stretched out on the bed that they shared.

After tenderly placing the blanket over his child, Legolas walked to the other side of the bed, blew out the candle, and removed his own shirt and shoes. He then climbed into the bed as well, careful not to wake his son. A thin sheet covered him partially, and Legolas himself fell asleep. Sometime while he was asleep, Legolas stirred and the sheet slipped, showing the scar he had. Elleelen curled up next to his father, who, in his sleep, reached out and hugged him. Both had their eyes open, though they were vacant, as sleeping Elves' eyes were.

After finishing up the admittedly good meal a few hours later, Elessar pushed his chair back.

"I must speak with Legolas again," he told Lord Allen, who nodded.

"He is probably sleeping," Lord Allen replied. "Elleelen will be asleep by now." He told Elessar where to find Legolas' room. As the king walked away, Allen let out a sigh. He knew Elessar was not going to be pleased with the state of Legolas' room, but the Elf had refused better accommodations for himself and Elleelen.

Sure enough, when Elessar finally found Legolas' room, the candles were blown out. He nudged the door open and stepped inside, giving his eyes a few moments to adjust to the darkness.

He was easily able to figure out which Elf was Legolas, because his bare skin showed clearly. Elessar walked over and peered down at him silently, and gasped at the thin scar he saw stretching across part of Legolas' lower waist.

Legolas stirred in his sleep, at the same time as Elleelen. The two now slept the same; with their right hands outstretched over their heads, and their left hands across their chests. Their legs were outstretched.

Elessar frowned and turned to inspect the boy who slept next to his best friend. It could not be denied; Legolas truly was Elleelen's father and, judging from the scar, he truly had given birth to the child.

Elleelen slept with his mouth slightly open, curiously similar to Kasia. Elessar's frown deepened slightly at the slightly pointed ears. Again, it was familiar; Kasia had the same ears. He cast his mind back again, trying to figure out who might be the boy's sire. A memory did surface, though he didn't understand its relevance.


************
Flashback
************

Elessar awoke with a major headache, only to find someone sleeping next to him.

'Arwen?' he questioned, wincing.

Legolas stirred and blearily opened his eyes. His head hurt terribly, and he decided to never drink again, not if it brought on this much pain. 'I'm not Arwen,' he muttered, irritated at the voice that seemed to echo through his mind.

Elessar froze when he realized that his clothes were not on. He tried to focus on the Elf next to him, who was groaning softly.

Legolas did the same, when he came to the same realization. 'Elessar?' he moaned, weakly sitting up.

'What is it, Legolas?' the king questioned, as he started trying to find his clothes. His head fiercely ached, throbbing in agony.

'What happened last night?' Legolas searched for his clothes as well, ignoring the splitting pain inside of his head.

Elessar frowned and winced. 'I don't know. I think we came up here and fell asleep. Both of us must have been drunk.'

Legolas finally found his leggings and grabbed them, before swiftly pulling them on. 'All right. Just wondering.' Though the Elf was sore slightly, but he decided it was because of the alcohol he'd consumed. 'I had the weirdest dream.'

'So did I,' Elessar muttered, as the two friends finished dressing.

Both had dreamed of soft kisses, warm lips, and sweet caresses, though neither told the other of their dreams. They were both too focused on the pain from their hangovers to notice anything else.
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Elessar reached out to touch the faded scar on Legolas, only to have his hand caught in a strong grip, by a slender hand that was no longer smooth. Calluses pressed against Elessar's own calluses firmly.

Sapphire eyes blazed directly into grey eyes angrily.

To be continued