Disclaimers: See the Author's Notes! Not my song; it belongs to Enya! Elvish is in ' '; Common is in " "; Aragorn and Legolas' thoughts are in .This is an AU! Rated R for major angst, eventual attempted rape, and sexual innuendo.

Amin Ai Olin
(My Little Secret)

Part 4. Kel Ereb

   (To Go Away Alone)

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And who can say why your heart cries,
When your love dies?
Only time...

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'What are you doing?' Legolas hissed, anger burning in his eyes. He was careful to keep his voice low enough so that his son did not awaken, though Elleelen stirred slightly.

Elessar merely narrowed his eyes, before asking his own question. 'That scar… You got it from when Elleelen was born, didn't you?'

Legolas muttered, 'Yes, I did. What do you want?' He released Elessar's wrist, but maintained a wary expression on his face. 'I am trying to get some sleep before I have to work in the morning, so if you don't mind…'

'I want to know the truth, damn it!' Elessar retorted, also making sure he didn't wake the boy. 'Who is his sire?'

'I do not have to tell you,' Legolas replied firmly, before sitting up. 'You are not my keeper.' He was stunned when Elessar pushed him back down onto the bed, holding him there hard with his strength.

Elessar warned, 'I am not playing a game, Legolas. Why won't you tell me?'

Legolas remained silent. He had never been able to lie to Elessar, for his friend always knew when he lied. It had been a sign of their deep bond of friendship, because Elessar could tell when he was not being truthful. Though the warm hands on his bare shoulders were intoxicating… so familiar… so distracting…

'Why are you so stubborn?' Elessar snapped.

'Why are you so arrogant?' Legolas returned sharply. 'Must you pry into my private life? Do you see me as nothing more than a child, who must atone to you for every mistake I make? Elleelen and I need nothing from him; we are fine on our own.'

Elessar raised a dark eyebrow ever so slightly. 'You see Elleelen as a mistake?' he questioned. He was unprepared for the harsh slap that he received for that. A red mark appeared on his face, stinging and bright, crimson red.

'I love my son and I could never regret having him. I have only made two mistakes in my life. Now leave me alone,' Legolas bitterly said, furious.

Elleelen stirred again, and blinked his eyes, as they shifted to normal. His grey eyes focused sleepily on his father, and he saw the figure standing next to the bed, saying something that Elleelen didn't quite hear, but whatever it was made his father upset. The young boy looked closer and saw that his father was being held down by a pair of hands.

'Let go of my daddy!' Elleelen cried, instantly coming to his father's defense. He sat up and lunged at the person, who was surprised.

Elessar was stunned when the golden-haired child suddenly jumped at him. He released Legolas' shoulders and easily caught the boy, who twisted and squirmed, before managed to kick him hard in the shins with his bare feet. A flinch crossed Elessar's face.

Legolas said sternly, 'Elleelen, stop!'

Elleelen froze, and looked towards his father, still being held tightly by the other person. 'He was making you upset, Father.'

'Yes, Elleelen, but you know that I do not approve of physical fights, unless there is no other way,' Legolas reprimanded.

Elessar turned the boy towards him, to get a good look at the child. To his shock, wide grey eyes bore directly into his grey eyes, the exact same shade as Kasia's eyes.. Soft, blond hair hung down to Elleelen's waist, flowing freely, and framing a face that was somewhat similar to Legolas', but it was different at the same time.

'Sorry, daddy. I just thought he was hurting you like-' Elleelen was cut off by his father.

'No, my son. We were merely having an argument.' Legolas looked directly at Elessar. 'Release him.'

'Who is your sire, young one?' Elessar questioned, thinking that surely the boy knew. It was too crazy; no… The lack of light was playing tricks on his eyes, he thought.

Legolas sat up and crawled forward, until he was able to reach his son. He stretched his hands out to take Elleelen into his arms, when Elessar stepped back slightly. 'Give me my son, Elessar,' Legolas coldly told his friend.

Elleelen blinked. 'I… I don't know.' He looked at his father and was surprised at the expression on his face. Wariness, slight fear, and apprehension were written there, inside of his father's sapphire eyes.

Elessar frowned at Legolas, a nagging suspicion inside of him, before he released the boy, who went over to his father and hugged him tightly.

Legolas embraced his son, stroking his small, blond head. He held Elleelen closely, as if to keep him from suddenly being snatched away by a breeze.

'We still need to talk,' Elessar firmly said, narrowing his eyes again at the resentful expression in Legolas' azure eyes.

Legolas reluctantly nodded, and told Elleelen to go back to bed, after planting a gentle kiss on his forehead. The child nodded slowly, but still remained suspicious of the stranger that his father did not seem to like.

Elleelen lay back down in the bed, watching as his father climbed out of the bed and silently followed the stranger. True, he did not know who his sire was, but he didn't like him. Whoever it was made his father very sad; Elleelen knew this because when he had been younger, and had asked questions about his sire, a sad look had appeared on his father's face.

The boy had even heard his father crying a few times, always after questions were asked about his sire. So Elleelen had stopped asking, because it upset his father so much, and he loved his daddy more than anyone else in the world. He didn't want anything to change, for his father was wonderful and always made time for him.

It could be said that Elleelen was very protective of his father, because he knew that many liked his daddy, for he was very beautiful. Even Elleelen knew it, and he was determined to keep anyone and anything from hurting his gentle father, who never worried for himself; only for him.

Legolas and Elessar went outside to speak, walking silently until they were out of earshot of any who might be awake in the house.

Elessar glowered at Legolas. 'I am not leaving until you tell me the truth,' he stated flatly.

'Then I fear you will have to spend the rest of your Immortal life here, for I will not tell you,' Legolas said coldly. He glared at the Man, wanting him to leave. Yet, deep inside, Legolas did not want Elessar to leave. This was too hard for him.

'Tell me,' Elessar demanded, before advancing on the Elf, pinning him back against a tree. His hands gripped Legolas' arms, as he used his strength to keep his beautiful friend from being able to leave. Though a strange warmth was in him as he gazed down at the former Elven Prince. He completely forgot why he had come out here with Legolas.

Legolas jerked his arms free and attempted to shove Elessar away, only to have his wrists caught, as Elessar's firm body pressed him against the tree harder. A moan nearly escaped from him at the familiar desire that was building in him. 'Release me,' he said hoarsely.

Elessar felt a stirring in him, at the combination of the lithe and slender body against his and the hoarse note in Legolas' voice. He leaned down and, as if in a daze, kissed the perfect mouth of the protesting Elf.

The sweet kiss was reminiscent of wild honey and lasted for long moments. Elessar pressed the two wrists he held together, in one hand, as he brought his other hand up to cup Legolas' face.

Legolas moaned softly, despising himself for enjoying this… He wanted this…but he didn't… But it felt so good. His lips responded in their own accord, firmly pressing against Elessar's lips.

The two continued kissing, and Legolas didn't even notice when his hands were released, until he felt something messing with his leggings. He shook his head and attempted to leave the haze of desire around him.

'Elessar… stop,' he told the Man, right before a ragged groan left him as a slightly coarse hand entered into his leggings. 'I don't want this…'

Elessar frowned. 'Why are you lying? You know you want me; I can see it in your eyes, Legolas. Why do you hold back?' he huskily asked. His hand continued tormenting the blond beauty, who gasped.

Legolas really hated himself now, for responding like this. But Elleelen… He had to think of his son. 'No,' he moaned. 'Stop…'

'Do you really want me to?' Elessar questioned, pausing his hand for a few moments.

'Yes,' Legolas whispered. 'Elleelen…' Though a tiny whimper of denial left him.

Elessar moved his hand ever so slightly, testing the reaction of the Elf, who arched and nearly swayed. He didn't understand this; it was obvious that Legolas wanted him as much as he wanted Legolas… but why was he holding back like this?

Legolas' protests died temporarily as his body betrayed him again. Firm hands brought him to the ground, laying him out flat, before a warm body covered his. A soft moan left him when the hand that was torturing him did so even harder, and the other hand roamed over his bare chest, teasing the planes of his stomach.

If Elessar truly believed that Legolas wanted him to stop, he would have. Besides that, Legolas had the strength to stop him if he so desired. Judging from the soft cries that the Elf was making, he was enjoying this too, despite his denial. Though he could not figure out why this was so familiar to him…

Legolas' rational mind was telling him that this was not safe, that he should not be doing this, but his body didn't care. Only one person could affect him like this; Elessar. He thrashed slightly, under the Man who was penetrating all of his defenses and barriers.

Then a nagging voice entered his mind; the voice of reason:

'What of Elleelen? What if you wind up bearing another child by Elessar- what then?'

Legolas instantly pushed at Elessar, trying to free himself. 'Stop,' he cried. When he realized that the Man had not heard him, he repeated it once more. 'Please, Elessar… Stop!' he begged, because if Elessar did not, he would not be able to resist much longer.

Elessar did stop, for he heard the choked sob in his friend's voice. He removed his hands and himself from Legolas, who scooted backwards, away from him.

Legolas refused to look at Elessar, as he struggled to regain control of his breathing and emotions. The beautiful, blond Elf took a shuddering breath, finally relaxing slightly, before he glanced at Elessar.

Elessar silently looked back. 'Why did you change your mind?'

'I cannot… I have Elleelen to think of,' Legolas finally said. 'I would that I did not bring a second child into the world without a sire present.'

'That's why?' Elessar incredulously inquired. 'Because you are afraid of raising a second child by yourself?'

Legolas' eyes narrowed angrily. 'I am not afraid. But I have someone else to think of besides me; my son.'

Elessar shook his head. 'Who is his sire? Why does he have my eyes, and Kasia's?' he suspiciously pressed.

'Are you the only Man with dark grey eyes?' Legolas scornfully retorted, glad now that Elessar had not been able to see Elleelen clearly in the dark, since he was suspicious already of his eyes being the same.

'Another Man sired him? Do I know him?' Elessar was angry and insanely jealous at the thought of Legolas being with another Man. Another Man touching Legolas' perfect, flawless Elven beauty…

Legolas laughed, forgetting his troubles for a few moments. I would hope that you know yourself, Elessar, he thought. 'Yes, Elessar. You do know him; very well, in fact,' Legolas answered, still secretly amused.

Elessar didn't understand what was making Legolas laugh, but the light, happy laugh made him happy. 'Who is he, Legolas? If nothing else, he should be supporting Elleelen.'

'I do not want his money,' Legolas solemnly stated. 'Once I wanted his heart, but it belonged to another.'

'What do you want from him now?' Elessar questioned, seeing sadness in the azure eyes, which were no longer sparkling as they had when he had laughed. Why won't you tell me, Legolas? Could it be that you are afraid, he wondered silently.

Legolas sighed. 'I don't know.' He carefully avoided looking at Elessar as he spoke, closing his eyes. 'I just want to be left alone, to raise my son. My virtue is beyond saving, though Haldir and Elladan wanted to do so.'

'What?' Elessar snapped. 'They knew where you were? How?'

'Yes,' Legolas admitted. 'If Haldir had not found me in that small town the day Elleelen was born, right before I fainted from the combination of my extreme exhaustion and contractions, neither Elleelen or I would be alive right now.'

Elessar paled drastically. 'What happened to you, my friend?' He cared no longer over the matter of the boy's sire, in his horror at learning that his best friend had nearly died.

'I suppose I had better start at the beginning,' Legolas murmured. 'Two weeks after your wedding…'

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Flashback

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Legolas felt very ill, and he struggled not to retch. He lay in his bed, in the room he always stayed in when he visited Elessar in Gondor. The satin and silk blankets were pulled up to his chest.

What's wrong with me, Legolas wondered silently. He was afraid to move, fearful the movement would be his undoing.

"Legolas?" Arwen called, an excited note in her voice. She searched for her husband's best friend through the hallways, for she was very, very happy, and he was a close friend of hers as well.

Legolas weakly answered, and Arwen stepped into his room, to share her joyful news with him. However, the smile died on her face, when she saw how pale Legolas was.

'What's wrong, dear friend?' Arwen quickly walked over to him, placing her gentle, soft hand on his forehead, checking to see if he had a fever. "Elessar!" she called, hearing her husband's voice.

Legolas could only shrug, for he was afraid to speak. The movement nearly made him retch, but he suppressed it.

Elessar entered the room, and was concerned to see the pallor of Legolas's face. 'Are you ill, my friend?' He joined his wife beside his best friend, his dark grey eyes showing how worried he was. Legolas was rarely ill.

'I feel…weird,' Legolas admitted, before he covered his mouth with his hands.

Arwen looked at Elessar worriedly. 'His forehead is cool and clammy, my love.'

Legolas hid his own inner pain at Arwen calling Elessar her love, but he shook his head and tried to sit up. The color blanched even more from his face and he would have fallen forward onto the floor if Elessar had not caught him.

'Legolas!' Arwen cried.

'You're going to the Healer,' Elessar sternly informed his obviously ill friend, as he scooped the light Elf into his arms.

Legolas muttered, 'I'm all right; I don't need to see the Healer!' He went silent at the sight of the two frowns aimed directly at him… Or it might have been the sudden nausea that crept up on him again.

Arwen followed her husband, who easily carried Legolas through the hallways, heading directly to the white room, with blue tapestries. This was the Healer's room, and Legolas was placed on one of the many beds that took up most of the room.

The blond Elven Prince tried to sit up, but Arwen gently placed her hands on his shoulders, to keep him from sitting up.

Elessar spoke to the Healer for a few moments, before the male Healer walked over to the Elf who lay there silently. He poked around Legolas, asking a few questions, before turning to the King and Queen.

"May I please speak to him privately for a few moments, your majesties?" the Healer requested.

Arwen and Elessar exchanged a slightly puzzled look but nodded, before they left the room. The two went to their room, to wait for the Healer to finish.

Legolas was confused as to why his friends had been sent away, until the Healer looked down at him.

"Tell me, when was the last time you were with anyone intimately?" he questioned.

Legolas frowned. "Why?" He didn't like revealing his private life to anyone… and besides, he hadn't been with anyone, male or female, since before he had gone on that journey with Elessar before his friend had wed Arwen.

The Healer said, "I believe that you are carrying a child." His voice was serious and calm, but his words got a definite reaction.

"What? Is this a joke or something? I'm a male Elf," Legolas scoffed. "Male elves can't have children!"

"You are a Silvan male Elf?" the Healer questioned, receiving a nod as an answer. "It is rare- but not impossible for Silvan male Elves to bear children."

Legolas blurted out, "But I haven't been with anyone since…" A wisp of a memory tugged at him; the memory of a warm body against his, coarse hands roaming over him, and slight pain that quickly turned to pleasure.

Oh, Elbereth, what have I done, Legolas thought, initially horrified. He brought his hand up to cover his mouth in shock. That night… that forgotten night, before he had woken up beside Elessar in the morning, with his clothes off…

Legolas was stunned. It…It wasn't a dream? We must have… Oh, Elbereth… What do I do now?

He'd forgotten what his father had sternly warned him of; Silvan Elves could have children, male or female. Legolas told himself that he should have recognized the signs; morning sickness, increased appetite, and the fact that he had begun sleeping in later.

"I see that this has come as a shock to you," the Healer mused. "This was not planned?"

"No," Legolas cried. He needed time to think of what he should do… He could not stay here in Gondor, not like this. What was his father going to say, Legolas suddenly wondered. Thranduil would not be happy about this, and that was an understatement.

The Healer awkwardly patted the Elf on the shoulder, seeing the stricken look in the sapphire eyes of the blond, beautiful Elven Prince.

To be continued