Other: I am so, so sorry about the lack of updates!! My parents were evil
and banned me from writing anything until my Finals were over, and that's
why I haven't gotten anything up for so long!
Disclaimers: See the Author's Notes! This is an AU!! Not my song; it belongs to Lee Ann Womack. Elvish is in ' '; Common is in " ". This is AU! Rated R for major angst and sexual innuendo.
Amin Ai Olin
(My Little Secret)
Part 16. San- Tuulo' Mela
(To Take From Love)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
After I fall, where do I stand?
After my heart is in your hands
And you've got it all
After I fall, where do I stand?
After I've loved you all I can
Will I still stand tall?
After I fall
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"He's my brother," Kasia repeated, not understanding why her grandfather looked so upset. "Elleelen's all right… for a boy." She wrinkled her nose slightly, but grinned at her brother.
Elleelen scowled and muttered, "Thanks, Kasia…"
Elrond looked at Elleelen in shock, his dark eyes roaming over the young one, checking to see if there was any sign of Elessar in him. Those eyes, Elrond thought… Why had he never seen it before? Elleelen possessed the exact same eyes and ears as Kasia, and Kasia got her eyes from her father, Elessar.
The reason that Elrond was upset was because he knew that Elleelen was Kasia's age exactly… and Elleelen was Legolas' son… which meant that Legolas and Elessar must have been together either right before Arwen's wedding to Elessar, or right after it. Neither option had much appeal to Elrond, for he felt betrayed on Arwen's behalf.
But something was wrong, Elrond knew. Legolas had refused to state who Elleelen's sire was, and Elessar had not known, either. Yet Elessar had never considered the possibility that Elleelen might be his child? The Elven lord could not believe that Elessar would have left Legolas and Elleelen to fend for themselves, so that meant that Elessar had not known the truth. But why wouldn't Legolas have told him? Hadn't he known of the problems that Elessar was facing because he didn't have a male child?
No matter that, Elrond decided. What was important was that Elessar now apparently knew that Elleelen was his son, and that was why Legolas and Elleelen were brought here. And knowing Elessar, Elrond knew that he would be furious with Legolas for not telling him all those years ago, and it was because of Elessar's anger that Legolas had nearly perished.
Elrond groaned aloud; this was a turn of events that he had not expected. "Come with me, Kasia and Elleelen, and we will find your father and Legolas," he told them, more anxious now than ever to find Legolas and Elessar before Thranduil did.
With Elleelen and Kasia each holding onto one of Elrond's hands tightly, the three half Elves ran towards the kitchen, for Kasia had told her grandfather that that was the last place her father and Legolas had been.
Inside of the kitchen, King Thranduil of Mirkwood stared in shock at Elessar. 'You're lying,' he said, shaking his head in denial. 'Legolas would never have lain with you!'
Elessar retorted, 'He did then, and has done so once more.'
'Elessar…' Legolas hissed, highly embarrassed. This was a conversation he did not like at all. A crimson flush was on his face, as he looked back and forth between his father and… his lover. Neither were paying attention to him as they glared at each other. 'Father, please, he's telling the truth; he is Elleelen's sire.'
'If he did sleep with you, then you must have forced him to,' Thranduil accused, ignoring his son as he concentrated on Elessar, anger blazing in his eyes.
Elessar grew furious at those words. 'It seems to me like he actually enjoyed himself, and that would be pretty hard if he was being forced,' the King snapped.
Legolas flinched, Elessar's words having hurt him. Had the Man so conveniently forgotten that he had turned Legolas' own body against him, making him give into his desire against his will for the most part, at least at first? Was it that easy for Elessar to forget how he'd forced him to come here? In the time that had passed since Legolas had arrived in Gondor, only once had he not been touched against his will.
Thranduil saw the wince on his son's face and stated coldly and deliberately, 'Then why does he flinch so at the words you just spoke? Could it be that you have forced him into doing things he did not wish?'
Elessar paled and looked at Legolas, who refused to meet his gaze. The King cursed himself silently; how could he have forgotten, for even a moment, of what he had done to Legolas? What he did to the Elf was little better than rape, and it was a miracle that Legolas had even survived that, especially as he was already unhappy about having been forced to come here against his will.
At that moment, the door to the kitchen was flung open, and Elrond entered, with his granddaughter and Elleelen. All eyes turned to them, and Legolas automatically stepped towards the children, wondering why Elrond was here. Thranduil stared at the little boy with long, golden hair and grey eyes, wondering at how Elleelen looked so much like Legolas. It was stunning to the Elven King, for he had never laid eyes on his grandson before.
Kasia and Elleelen stared at the tall, golden-haired Elf, wondering who he was. Neither had ever seen him before, and they were naturally curious, by nature, so they gazed at him silently. Kasia was the first to look at the stranger, then Legolas, and finally, her brother.
"He looks like you, Elleelen," she proclaimed. "But he also looks like Legolas…"
Elleelen's eyes darted from his father to the unknown Elf, realizing that his sister was right. This must be one of his relatives, Elleelen determined, though he grew worried when he saw the grim look on his sire's face, and the pale, distracted look on his father's face. "Daddy, what's wrong?" he asked. "Who is he?" Elleelen pointed directly at Thranduil, a frown on his face.
"He's my father, Elleelen," Legolas replied softly, as he placed his right hand on his son's shoulder, with his left one on Kasia's. The small girl and boy looked up at him in wonder and shock.
"Daddy, you never said anything about him before," Elleelen protested, knowing that for some reason his father had been estranged from his family, but he didn't know that it was because of him being born. "Why's he here?"
Thranduil breathed, "Tis almost as if I was looking at Legolas, when he was that young, all those millennia ago…" He stared at Elleelen, joy on his face at how the child resembled his beloved son. Yet he was also hurt, to hear that Legolas had not mentioned him to his son.
Legolas told Elleelen, "I know that, my son… And he's here because he wants to take us to Mirkwood, where I was born…"
Elrond stated, "Elleelen is truly your son, is he not, Elessar?" A slight chill was in his voice, an indication of his anger at learning that one he considered a son had betrayed Arwen and slept with Legolas, though the half Elven lord knew that it was not entirely Elessar's fault. Legolas was as much to blame as Elessar himself.
"Yes, he is," Elessar said, disliking the chill in his foster father's voice, but he was not entirely surprised by it. He knew how he would feel if the situations were reversed, though Elessar also knew that he had not been himself when he had slept with Legolas the first time, having been drunk.
Kasia frowned. "You're not leaving, are you?" she asked, looking at her brother first, and then Legolas. Even though Elleelen and Kasia had only learned that they were brother and sister a short time ago, they had become good friends, though not without occasional arguments, and Kasia was already very fond of Legolas, who was naturally caring towards her.
Elessar countered, "No, they're not, Kasia…" automatically. He fell silent when Legolas frowned at him.
"You have no right to tell me what to do, Elessar," Legolas pointed out, a cold note in his voice. But he was truly not into having a verbal spar with Elessar right now, for he was torn. For ten years, Legolas had missed his brothers and father terribly, and now he was being offered a chance to see them once more, with his son. But at the same time, Legolas also knew that Elessar was not invited, and if he went, he would have to leave both Kasia and Elessar behind. But the only other option was to remain, and Legolas feared that he would regret it for the rest of his life if he did, and Elleelen had the right to get to know his grandfather and uncles, as well as his sire. Legolas definitely did not want to leave Elessar, but he also wanted to see his family again.
A staggering pain struck Legolas, directly in his heart. A soft moan escaped from him, as it grew worse, and the blond Elf swayed slightly, a wince on his face. The room began spinning before his eyes, and Legolas' vision began growing dark, when Elessar and Thranduil began arguing again.
"They're not going with you," Elessar snapped angrily, keeping his hand on the hilt of his sword. "You chose to send Legolas away ten years ago, so live with that decision!"
Thranduil countered, "You were Elleelen's sire! Why didn't you provide for him- both of them? And what of Arwen, did she even know that you fathered a child with my son? Did you take him to bed the eve before your wedding, or after it?"
Kasia gasped, as did Elleelen. Their mouths hung open slightly as they stared at their father and Thranduil, while they argued. Elleelen's face had gone pale at the words that his new grandfather was saying to his sire. Identical looks of fear were on their faces, until Kasia saw Legolas flinching, an expression of pain on his face. She tugged on Elleelen's arm impatiently with one hand, gesturing to his father, while touching Legolas on the arm with her other hand, trying to make certain that he was all right.
Elrond had been about to intervene in the brewing fight between Elessar and Thranduil when he, too, noticed that Legolas looking like he was about to collapse at any moment. The color had drained out of Legolas' oval face, and he was trembling slightly. Grief, confusion, and despair swirled in his eyes, and despite his anger the Elven lord was concerned. He walked over to Legolas and placed a hand on his shoulder. 'Are you all right, Legolas?' he questioned quietly, temporarily putting aside his feelings of betrayal and wrath in his worry for the younger Elf. However angry he was over Legolas and Aragorn's betrayal to Arwen, Elrond still did not wish to see Legolas die.
The reactions to that question were instantaneous. Elessar and Thranduil turned as one to regard the golden-haired Elf, who was shaking violently now. The remembered pain of what Elessar had done to him, before he'd relented and apologized, combined with Legolas' torn feelings between his family and Elessar and his daughter, and the way that his father and Elessar were yelling at each other now had trigged another overwhelming sense of grief within Legolas. All of his attention was now focused on keeping it from destroying him from within, so he didn't hear the concerned baritone voice that asked him if he was all right, or feel the hand on his shoulder, or even notice when Thranduil and Elessar stopped fighting, looking at him in alarm.
"Legolas?" Elessar asked, stepping towards the one he loved, though he was too afraid to say the words… Afraid of losing his heart once more… But what was even more frightening to Elessar was the thought of losing Legolas, especially since he had lost him once, long ago, and had nearly lost him a second time, to grief. This was the third time the threat of losing Legolas had surfaced, and Elessar could not bear to lose him, not after losing Arwen all those years ago to that raging fever. At the end, all he had been able to do was sit by her side and wipe her brow gently with a cool cloth, easing her pain before she died. The messengers he had sent to Lord Elrond, to tell him of Arwen's illness had been ambushed by bandits, and the Elven lord had arrived too late; gentle, beautiful Arwen had passed away the night before.
Thranduil worriedly questioned, "My son, are you well?" Then the staggering pain of grief within Legolas reached the Elven king, through the bond that Thranduil possessed with all of his children. He sharply sucked in a deep breath, before he walked to his son, who stood as still as stone, his azure eyes showing the intense inner struggle going on within him, the battle to live.
Elleelen watched as his newfound grandfather carefully picked up his father and peered into his eyes wearily, searching for any sign of life. "Daddy?" Elleelen plaintively whispered, fear in his eyes.
Elessar scowled at Thranduil, before he sent a reassuring smile to Elleelen and Kasia, who both looked terrified. "He'll be all right," he said, hoping it was true. Wide, trusting grey eyes blinked, until the children nodded slowly.
Elleelen bit his lower lip, which trembled, watching while his grandfather attempted to bring his daddy back from whatever was wrong with him. Unwilling tears stung in his eyes, because the young boy adored his father more than anything else, having spent most of his short life with his daddy, who was the only family he had ever known, until he had met Elessar and Kasia. The bond was true, and though Elleelen got along well with Kasia, and somewhat with their father, Elleelen tended to seek out Legolas' attention more than Elessar's. He was, however, making a genuine effort to get along with his sire, but Elleelen could not forget what he had seen earlier, when Elessar had pinned his daddy to his bed, refusing to let him go. It came as a surprise to Elleelen when a large, slightly rough but gentle hand brushed his tears away, before tousling his fine, golden hair. Wordlessly, he looked up into the compassionate eyes of his sire, and Elleelen could see that he, too, was worried about his father.
That knowledge somewhat surprised Elleelen, for he had known that something had occurred between his parents, after the way that they first had seemed to argue a lot, but after his daddy had gone all pale and incoherent, Elessar had pulled away from all of them slightly, immersing himself in the responsibilities of being a king.
Slowly Elleelen offered a smile to his sire, in gratitude for the silent reassurance, and he received a warm one in return. He watched as Elessar looked at his daddy, and was stunned by the emotion in the eyes that matched his perfectly. A shocking realization came over Elleelen; his sire loved his father. Elleelen didn't know why Elessar had never said anything, instead of pulling away like he had.
Kasia was glad to see that her father and her brother were finally being more than just polite to each other, but she was also very worried about Legolas, as she had already become accustomed to his stable presence. With him there, there was no longer any need for a nanny to watch over the children, because Legolas did that freely and showed both Elleelen and Kasia more affection than a nanny could. Kasia had bloomed from the constant attention, for her father was very busy, though Elessar spent as much time with her as he could, and she now radiated a happiness that had not been seen since the advisers had begun pressuring her father to remarry.
Elrond's sharp, dark eyes roamed over the motionless figure that lay in his friend's arms, trying to discern if there was a physical reason for Legolas' sudden paralysis. But no wounds could be seen, and the Elven lord finally murmured, 'Tis grief again, my friend, and until this matter is resolved, it will not fully leave him.'
'I know that, but my son is returning home, at least for a while,' Thranduil replied, giving Elessar a hard look, grim determination in his eyes.
Elessar defiantly shook his head. 'Legolas is going nowhere.'
Elrond silently groaned, as the two stubborn males glared at each other, each determined to get their way on this matter. The Elven lord finally sighed and stated, 'Elessar, Legolas has the right to make up his own mind about this, and he has not seen his family for years. Surely you cannot begrudge him a brief visit home, to reunite with his last two brothers, who have not yet passed over the Sea, not to mention denying Elleelen of his right to meet his uncles and Kin in Mirkwood.' Elrond then looked at Thranduil. 'And you must concede that when Legolas wants to return to Gondor that he will be allowed to leave, with his son. I would remind you both that Legolas is well past his maturity, and he needs no Keeper.'
Thranduil and Elessar bristled, each stubbornly shaking their heads.
'I don't want Elessar near my son and grandchild!' Thranduil yelled, forgetting about the two young children who were standing there, watching the fight. 'The Valar only knows what he did to make Legolas nearly enter the Halls of Mandos, and I will not stand by and watch it happen again! He didn't even claim Elleelen as his own!'
Elessar shouted, 'Well, you didn't exactly help him, either, and I would have claimed Elleelen, had I known. Legolas did not tell me until a little while ago, but what was your excuse for sending him away from Mirkwood in disgrace, because he was going to have a child- my child? You did not claim Elleelen as your grandson then; in fact, from what Legolas told me, you didn't even want him to have Elleelen! When he refused to not have Elleelen, you sent him away!'
Kasia gaped at her father, and then at Legolas' father, her grey eyes darting back and forth as they flung accusations at each other. The young daughter of Arwen might be brave and impish, but she really didn't like it when adults yelled like this, especially when it was her father.
Elleelen immediately felt guilt. He was the reason his father had been banished from his home, because his grandfather had not wanted him? Elleelen lowered his gaze, feeling more tears spill out of his eyes, at that thought. His daddy had done so much for him- sacrificing his own needs to put him first, and now Elleelen knew that it was because of him that his father was forced to leave Mirkwood.
Elrond bellowed at Aragorn and Thranduil, tired of the argument and seeing the stricken look on his granddaughter's face, and the tears on Elleelen's face. They were what counted right now, and nothing else mattered. 'Both of you- shut up!'
To be continued
Disclaimers: See the Author's Notes! This is an AU!! Not my song; it belongs to Lee Ann Womack. Elvish is in ' '; Common is in " ". This is AU! Rated R for major angst and sexual innuendo.
Amin Ai Olin
(My Little Secret)
Part 16. San- Tuulo' Mela
(To Take From Love)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
After I fall, where do I stand?
After my heart is in your hands
And you've got it all
After I fall, where do I stand?
After I've loved you all I can
Will I still stand tall?
After I fall
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"He's my brother," Kasia repeated, not understanding why her grandfather looked so upset. "Elleelen's all right… for a boy." She wrinkled her nose slightly, but grinned at her brother.
Elleelen scowled and muttered, "Thanks, Kasia…"
Elrond looked at Elleelen in shock, his dark eyes roaming over the young one, checking to see if there was any sign of Elessar in him. Those eyes, Elrond thought… Why had he never seen it before? Elleelen possessed the exact same eyes and ears as Kasia, and Kasia got her eyes from her father, Elessar.
The reason that Elrond was upset was because he knew that Elleelen was Kasia's age exactly… and Elleelen was Legolas' son… which meant that Legolas and Elessar must have been together either right before Arwen's wedding to Elessar, or right after it. Neither option had much appeal to Elrond, for he felt betrayed on Arwen's behalf.
But something was wrong, Elrond knew. Legolas had refused to state who Elleelen's sire was, and Elessar had not known, either. Yet Elessar had never considered the possibility that Elleelen might be his child? The Elven lord could not believe that Elessar would have left Legolas and Elleelen to fend for themselves, so that meant that Elessar had not known the truth. But why wouldn't Legolas have told him? Hadn't he known of the problems that Elessar was facing because he didn't have a male child?
No matter that, Elrond decided. What was important was that Elessar now apparently knew that Elleelen was his son, and that was why Legolas and Elleelen were brought here. And knowing Elessar, Elrond knew that he would be furious with Legolas for not telling him all those years ago, and it was because of Elessar's anger that Legolas had nearly perished.
Elrond groaned aloud; this was a turn of events that he had not expected. "Come with me, Kasia and Elleelen, and we will find your father and Legolas," he told them, more anxious now than ever to find Legolas and Elessar before Thranduil did.
With Elleelen and Kasia each holding onto one of Elrond's hands tightly, the three half Elves ran towards the kitchen, for Kasia had told her grandfather that that was the last place her father and Legolas had been.
Inside of the kitchen, King Thranduil of Mirkwood stared in shock at Elessar. 'You're lying,' he said, shaking his head in denial. 'Legolas would never have lain with you!'
Elessar retorted, 'He did then, and has done so once more.'
'Elessar…' Legolas hissed, highly embarrassed. This was a conversation he did not like at all. A crimson flush was on his face, as he looked back and forth between his father and… his lover. Neither were paying attention to him as they glared at each other. 'Father, please, he's telling the truth; he is Elleelen's sire.'
'If he did sleep with you, then you must have forced him to,' Thranduil accused, ignoring his son as he concentrated on Elessar, anger blazing in his eyes.
Elessar grew furious at those words. 'It seems to me like he actually enjoyed himself, and that would be pretty hard if he was being forced,' the King snapped.
Legolas flinched, Elessar's words having hurt him. Had the Man so conveniently forgotten that he had turned Legolas' own body against him, making him give into his desire against his will for the most part, at least at first? Was it that easy for Elessar to forget how he'd forced him to come here? In the time that had passed since Legolas had arrived in Gondor, only once had he not been touched against his will.
Thranduil saw the wince on his son's face and stated coldly and deliberately, 'Then why does he flinch so at the words you just spoke? Could it be that you have forced him into doing things he did not wish?'
Elessar paled and looked at Legolas, who refused to meet his gaze. The King cursed himself silently; how could he have forgotten, for even a moment, of what he had done to Legolas? What he did to the Elf was little better than rape, and it was a miracle that Legolas had even survived that, especially as he was already unhappy about having been forced to come here against his will.
At that moment, the door to the kitchen was flung open, and Elrond entered, with his granddaughter and Elleelen. All eyes turned to them, and Legolas automatically stepped towards the children, wondering why Elrond was here. Thranduil stared at the little boy with long, golden hair and grey eyes, wondering at how Elleelen looked so much like Legolas. It was stunning to the Elven King, for he had never laid eyes on his grandson before.
Kasia and Elleelen stared at the tall, golden-haired Elf, wondering who he was. Neither had ever seen him before, and they were naturally curious, by nature, so they gazed at him silently. Kasia was the first to look at the stranger, then Legolas, and finally, her brother.
"He looks like you, Elleelen," she proclaimed. "But he also looks like Legolas…"
Elleelen's eyes darted from his father to the unknown Elf, realizing that his sister was right. This must be one of his relatives, Elleelen determined, though he grew worried when he saw the grim look on his sire's face, and the pale, distracted look on his father's face. "Daddy, what's wrong?" he asked. "Who is he?" Elleelen pointed directly at Thranduil, a frown on his face.
"He's my father, Elleelen," Legolas replied softly, as he placed his right hand on his son's shoulder, with his left one on Kasia's. The small girl and boy looked up at him in wonder and shock.
"Daddy, you never said anything about him before," Elleelen protested, knowing that for some reason his father had been estranged from his family, but he didn't know that it was because of him being born. "Why's he here?"
Thranduil breathed, "Tis almost as if I was looking at Legolas, when he was that young, all those millennia ago…" He stared at Elleelen, joy on his face at how the child resembled his beloved son. Yet he was also hurt, to hear that Legolas had not mentioned him to his son.
Legolas told Elleelen, "I know that, my son… And he's here because he wants to take us to Mirkwood, where I was born…"
Elrond stated, "Elleelen is truly your son, is he not, Elessar?" A slight chill was in his voice, an indication of his anger at learning that one he considered a son had betrayed Arwen and slept with Legolas, though the half Elven lord knew that it was not entirely Elessar's fault. Legolas was as much to blame as Elessar himself.
"Yes, he is," Elessar said, disliking the chill in his foster father's voice, but he was not entirely surprised by it. He knew how he would feel if the situations were reversed, though Elessar also knew that he had not been himself when he had slept with Legolas the first time, having been drunk.
Kasia frowned. "You're not leaving, are you?" she asked, looking at her brother first, and then Legolas. Even though Elleelen and Kasia had only learned that they were brother and sister a short time ago, they had become good friends, though not without occasional arguments, and Kasia was already very fond of Legolas, who was naturally caring towards her.
Elessar countered, "No, they're not, Kasia…" automatically. He fell silent when Legolas frowned at him.
"You have no right to tell me what to do, Elessar," Legolas pointed out, a cold note in his voice. But he was truly not into having a verbal spar with Elessar right now, for he was torn. For ten years, Legolas had missed his brothers and father terribly, and now he was being offered a chance to see them once more, with his son. But at the same time, Legolas also knew that Elessar was not invited, and if he went, he would have to leave both Kasia and Elessar behind. But the only other option was to remain, and Legolas feared that he would regret it for the rest of his life if he did, and Elleelen had the right to get to know his grandfather and uncles, as well as his sire. Legolas definitely did not want to leave Elessar, but he also wanted to see his family again.
A staggering pain struck Legolas, directly in his heart. A soft moan escaped from him, as it grew worse, and the blond Elf swayed slightly, a wince on his face. The room began spinning before his eyes, and Legolas' vision began growing dark, when Elessar and Thranduil began arguing again.
"They're not going with you," Elessar snapped angrily, keeping his hand on the hilt of his sword. "You chose to send Legolas away ten years ago, so live with that decision!"
Thranduil countered, "You were Elleelen's sire! Why didn't you provide for him- both of them? And what of Arwen, did she even know that you fathered a child with my son? Did you take him to bed the eve before your wedding, or after it?"
Kasia gasped, as did Elleelen. Their mouths hung open slightly as they stared at their father and Thranduil, while they argued. Elleelen's face had gone pale at the words that his new grandfather was saying to his sire. Identical looks of fear were on their faces, until Kasia saw Legolas flinching, an expression of pain on his face. She tugged on Elleelen's arm impatiently with one hand, gesturing to his father, while touching Legolas on the arm with her other hand, trying to make certain that he was all right.
Elrond had been about to intervene in the brewing fight between Elessar and Thranduil when he, too, noticed that Legolas looking like he was about to collapse at any moment. The color had drained out of Legolas' oval face, and he was trembling slightly. Grief, confusion, and despair swirled in his eyes, and despite his anger the Elven lord was concerned. He walked over to Legolas and placed a hand on his shoulder. 'Are you all right, Legolas?' he questioned quietly, temporarily putting aside his feelings of betrayal and wrath in his worry for the younger Elf. However angry he was over Legolas and Aragorn's betrayal to Arwen, Elrond still did not wish to see Legolas die.
The reactions to that question were instantaneous. Elessar and Thranduil turned as one to regard the golden-haired Elf, who was shaking violently now. The remembered pain of what Elessar had done to him, before he'd relented and apologized, combined with Legolas' torn feelings between his family and Elessar and his daughter, and the way that his father and Elessar were yelling at each other now had trigged another overwhelming sense of grief within Legolas. All of his attention was now focused on keeping it from destroying him from within, so he didn't hear the concerned baritone voice that asked him if he was all right, or feel the hand on his shoulder, or even notice when Thranduil and Elessar stopped fighting, looking at him in alarm.
"Legolas?" Elessar asked, stepping towards the one he loved, though he was too afraid to say the words… Afraid of losing his heart once more… But what was even more frightening to Elessar was the thought of losing Legolas, especially since he had lost him once, long ago, and had nearly lost him a second time, to grief. This was the third time the threat of losing Legolas had surfaced, and Elessar could not bear to lose him, not after losing Arwen all those years ago to that raging fever. At the end, all he had been able to do was sit by her side and wipe her brow gently with a cool cloth, easing her pain before she died. The messengers he had sent to Lord Elrond, to tell him of Arwen's illness had been ambushed by bandits, and the Elven lord had arrived too late; gentle, beautiful Arwen had passed away the night before.
Thranduil worriedly questioned, "My son, are you well?" Then the staggering pain of grief within Legolas reached the Elven king, through the bond that Thranduil possessed with all of his children. He sharply sucked in a deep breath, before he walked to his son, who stood as still as stone, his azure eyes showing the intense inner struggle going on within him, the battle to live.
Elleelen watched as his newfound grandfather carefully picked up his father and peered into his eyes wearily, searching for any sign of life. "Daddy?" Elleelen plaintively whispered, fear in his eyes.
Elessar scowled at Thranduil, before he sent a reassuring smile to Elleelen and Kasia, who both looked terrified. "He'll be all right," he said, hoping it was true. Wide, trusting grey eyes blinked, until the children nodded slowly.
Elleelen bit his lower lip, which trembled, watching while his grandfather attempted to bring his daddy back from whatever was wrong with him. Unwilling tears stung in his eyes, because the young boy adored his father more than anything else, having spent most of his short life with his daddy, who was the only family he had ever known, until he had met Elessar and Kasia. The bond was true, and though Elleelen got along well with Kasia, and somewhat with their father, Elleelen tended to seek out Legolas' attention more than Elessar's. He was, however, making a genuine effort to get along with his sire, but Elleelen could not forget what he had seen earlier, when Elessar had pinned his daddy to his bed, refusing to let him go. It came as a surprise to Elleelen when a large, slightly rough but gentle hand brushed his tears away, before tousling his fine, golden hair. Wordlessly, he looked up into the compassionate eyes of his sire, and Elleelen could see that he, too, was worried about his father.
That knowledge somewhat surprised Elleelen, for he had known that something had occurred between his parents, after the way that they first had seemed to argue a lot, but after his daddy had gone all pale and incoherent, Elessar had pulled away from all of them slightly, immersing himself in the responsibilities of being a king.
Slowly Elleelen offered a smile to his sire, in gratitude for the silent reassurance, and he received a warm one in return. He watched as Elessar looked at his daddy, and was stunned by the emotion in the eyes that matched his perfectly. A shocking realization came over Elleelen; his sire loved his father. Elleelen didn't know why Elessar had never said anything, instead of pulling away like he had.
Kasia was glad to see that her father and her brother were finally being more than just polite to each other, but she was also very worried about Legolas, as she had already become accustomed to his stable presence. With him there, there was no longer any need for a nanny to watch over the children, because Legolas did that freely and showed both Elleelen and Kasia more affection than a nanny could. Kasia had bloomed from the constant attention, for her father was very busy, though Elessar spent as much time with her as he could, and she now radiated a happiness that had not been seen since the advisers had begun pressuring her father to remarry.
Elrond's sharp, dark eyes roamed over the motionless figure that lay in his friend's arms, trying to discern if there was a physical reason for Legolas' sudden paralysis. But no wounds could be seen, and the Elven lord finally murmured, 'Tis grief again, my friend, and until this matter is resolved, it will not fully leave him.'
'I know that, but my son is returning home, at least for a while,' Thranduil replied, giving Elessar a hard look, grim determination in his eyes.
Elessar defiantly shook his head. 'Legolas is going nowhere.'
Elrond silently groaned, as the two stubborn males glared at each other, each determined to get their way on this matter. The Elven lord finally sighed and stated, 'Elessar, Legolas has the right to make up his own mind about this, and he has not seen his family for years. Surely you cannot begrudge him a brief visit home, to reunite with his last two brothers, who have not yet passed over the Sea, not to mention denying Elleelen of his right to meet his uncles and Kin in Mirkwood.' Elrond then looked at Thranduil. 'And you must concede that when Legolas wants to return to Gondor that he will be allowed to leave, with his son. I would remind you both that Legolas is well past his maturity, and he needs no Keeper.'
Thranduil and Elessar bristled, each stubbornly shaking their heads.
'I don't want Elessar near my son and grandchild!' Thranduil yelled, forgetting about the two young children who were standing there, watching the fight. 'The Valar only knows what he did to make Legolas nearly enter the Halls of Mandos, and I will not stand by and watch it happen again! He didn't even claim Elleelen as his own!'
Elessar shouted, 'Well, you didn't exactly help him, either, and I would have claimed Elleelen, had I known. Legolas did not tell me until a little while ago, but what was your excuse for sending him away from Mirkwood in disgrace, because he was going to have a child- my child? You did not claim Elleelen as your grandson then; in fact, from what Legolas told me, you didn't even want him to have Elleelen! When he refused to not have Elleelen, you sent him away!'
Kasia gaped at her father, and then at Legolas' father, her grey eyes darting back and forth as they flung accusations at each other. The young daughter of Arwen might be brave and impish, but she really didn't like it when adults yelled like this, especially when it was her father.
Elleelen immediately felt guilt. He was the reason his father had been banished from his home, because his grandfather had not wanted him? Elleelen lowered his gaze, feeling more tears spill out of his eyes, at that thought. His daddy had done so much for him- sacrificing his own needs to put him first, and now Elleelen knew that it was because of him that his father was forced to leave Mirkwood.
Elrond bellowed at Aragorn and Thranduil, tired of the argument and seeing the stricken look on his granddaughter's face, and the tears on Elleelen's face. They were what counted right now, and nothing else mattered. 'Both of you- shut up!'
To be continued