Disclaimer: I do not own the Gundam Pilots or anything else that is affiliated with them. Pretty much anything you recognize. =) I do own the plot. The names I use that don't seem familiar, you can give the credit to my best friends. These were the names of my friends who just came off of the top of my head. I also borrowed the lyrics from "The Rose".
~*~Chapter 5~*~
Hard Lessons in Life
"Relena, I need to tell you this now or I may never have the nerve again. I-I-I," he froze. He couldn't say it. Why couldn't he just say thos simple little words that he knew he was capable of? They were just words. Three little words!
"Heero," Relena was surprised by what she was seeing. There was a look of fear in Heero's eyes as he tried to speak the words that she was meant to hear. She thought that she wouldnever live to see the day when Heero Yuy, The Perfect Soldier, would experience fear.
Heero's frustrations were beginning to take over his fear. He blurted out quickly in anger what he'd been trying to say without even thinking about how it would sound. "OH FOR CHRIST SAKE, I LOVE YOU RELENA." He'd done it, he'd finally said it after all this time. He'd made it out to be harder than it actually was. Then realizing that he'd said it in anger and frustration, not to meantion he'd practically just yelled at Relena, he spoke more softly and with extreme sincerity, "I'm sorry for yelling like that Relena. I love you, though. I left because I didn't know what else to do, I was confused. But I could never forget you, not even if I tried. Dear God, Relena, I didn't know what to do. But," he hesitated, seeing the look of disbelief and almost utter disappointment reflected upon her face, " I knew I was wrong. To leave. I thought the confustions would go away, but it only got worse. I felt empty, like a part of me was missing. I didn't know why at first, but with help,
I now know why. It's because I wasn't with you, I couldn't be by your side." Heero's eyes looked into hers, begging her to understand, He caught her eyes and held them, but only for a moment. She tore her gaze from his imploring ne and looked at her hands as they lay in her lap. Heero felt his heart sink, for this is exactly what he didn't want to happen, This is why he'd hesitated before he hit ENTER. "I'm sorry I had to put you through so much pain Relena. I'm sorry if I still am. I just want you to be happy." His voice trailed off as he looked down himself, trying to hide the threat of oncoming tears. He couldn't forget or hight his emotions any more. Despite the fact that his friends needed him, Relena was one of the things that really made a difference. That's why he kept going, kept fighting, kept going through so much pain and torture. Because of her. It was no use now, she probably hated him for his confession and wouldn't wish to speak to him again. this he
understood, he'd put her through so much already.
Relena sat still, avoiding Heero's gaze. She was the one who was confused now. The countless nights she'd spent awake, crying for him, thinking of him. The times she sat and made herself believe that she'd done something to drive him away. she wasn't sure wheter she should be angry, forgiving, joyful, or wary of Heero. Relena just didn't want to set her heart up again only to be let down. It had broken once before, and she feared this time, should he leave her again, it wouldn't just break. It would shatter.
"I'm sorry Relena, I'll leave you in peace with your new life. I won't bother you again," he said, though to say those words caused him extreme anguish. Trying once more, even if i wasn't any use, he looked up and searched her eyes. There were no emotions hidden in her deep blue eyes, not one hint of caring or love. His vision was now being blurred by the increasing tears that he fought back, for he wasn't his usual self. If he'd had more strength, then maybe, just maybe he could have stopped them from coming.
Relena looked into Heero's face, a stolid mask in place to hid her true feelings. What met her sught was heart-breaking. She could visibly see the tears that mirrored her own hiddend emotions, the regret, longing, and even dispair in the prussian blue depths. A lone tear traced it's path down his pale cheek, Heero not even bothering to brush it away. Her mask nearly faultered, but she didn't lower it. She had to protect herself, didn't she? She couldn't let her heart be broken again. She wanted to be with him, but the question was, was Heero going to stay?
Heero, seeing that she wasn't going to changer her mind, knew what he had to do. He closed his eyes, forcing back the other tears before they fell. Opening them once again, he spoke quietly, "Goodbye Relena, I'm truly sorry." With one final glance at her expressionless face, he turned from the screen and reached for the key that read ENTER. It would end his final conversaton with the one he loved and he would bother her no longer.
Relena didn't know what to do. Was she wrong? Was she right? She didn't know, but what she did know is that she couldn't put him through this. "Heero, I......," she had hesiated a moment too long, for he was gone. Relena's screen faded to black, heero had left her once more.
Minutes after the conversation had ceased, she realized that she was ever so wrong, and only partially right. "Oh no, what have I done? What hae I done?" she cried in disbelief as she reaised her hands to her face. With Heero's departure, she realized that he'd practically sat before her, begging for one more chance, confessing his undying love for her, giving her his heart. And what did she do? She'd basically killed his hope and crushed his love.
She heard the door open, someone walk in, and the door shut right behind her, but paid it no mind. The tears of sadness she'd held off for so long, fell from her eyes, falling onto her new ankle-length skirt.
Milliardo stepped into his sister's study, only to find that his little sister sat at her desk, upset. He crossed over the room and kneeld by her side. He instantly became worried when he saw tears streaming down his younger sibling's face. "Relena, what happened? Are you all right?"
"I drove him away again, Milliardo. I drove himaway and he's not going to come back. Heero's not going to come bakc." She sobbed, letting her elder brother draw her into an understanding hug. Even his strength gave her no comfort, so she continued to cry, harder than she'd ever cried in her lifetime.
"Shhh, everything'll be all right, it'll be all right." He rubbed her back in a soothing motion as he would do when his little sister was scared as a child. Relena hadn't been very old at the time, not even old enough to talk, but he was her big brother and it was his job to take care of her. "I'll take care of you now."
"It's not going to be all right, he probably hates me now. He said he loved me and I just rejected him. How could I be so stupid?" Relena cursed herself for her pride and uncertainty.
Milliardo, not being able to see his sister in such a state, replied with confidence and a new mission. "Don't worry, I'll make everything all right, you'll see."
~*~
Heero closed the lid of the screen, placed it on the bed next to him, and fell back onto the pillows. An emptiness unlike any other he'd felt before filled his entire being. A deep sadness overwhelmed him and he succomed to despair. His foolishness had ruined everything, and now this was the price he was to pay. "She can be happy now. I can't hurt her any longer." Heero was so deep in hopelessness that he didn't hear the light tapping on his door.
Duo strolled in, only thinking that Heero had finished his conversation with Relena and he was too tired to answer. "Hey lover boy, how'd it go?" He saw his brother's envious and saddened eyes stare at him, and he knew he'd said something wrong. "What happened buddy?" Duo leaned against the pole at the foot of his four poster bed.
"What do you think? Relena's happy with her new life and she hates me. I just hurt her when I called and told her what I felt. My stupidity ruined everything and if you don't mind, I'd like to sit her in self pit and fell like becoming more aquainted with death."
"Maybe you misinterpreted her. Maybe you just surprised her and she hadn't had time to take it in," he thought optimistically.
"Duo, I didn't misinterpret, and she had plenty of time to take it in. I messed it up, and now I feel like dying." He closed his eyes and sank into a state of depression, no longer caring.
"Hey, we can fix things. Don't give up yet." Duo didn't know what else to say. Heero was going through a lot, but he wasn't taking it like Duo would have expected. He walked over and sat next to his brother.
"Duo, it's not gonna work. I envy you and Hilde, you can be with each other and have a happy life." He looke dat Duo with forlorn eyes. He didn't care about anything any longer, so he let the tears of sorrow fall. He didn't even try to control his emotions. "Duo never, no matter what, think of ever letting Hilde go. Stay happy and keep her happy. You both have true love, something I'll never experience. But once you lose it, most don't get it back." He closed his eyes and turned from Duo, sulking in his misery.
"Heero, I........," he did't know what to say. Heero'd just given up, something he'd never done. At a loss for words and uncertainty, he placed his hand upon Heero's arm in and attempt to give him some hope. "If you love Relena, you can't give up. You have a greter and truer love for her than any other person could ever hold. You can't just give up on it, this is just an obsticle in your way. Missions don't always go as planned, but you've pulled every one of them off, haven't ya?" He hesitated a moment. "This is just another mission in life, one you've accepted and can complete, just don't give up on yourself or Relena."
Heero was silent, he didn't feel like talking. Maybe there was some truth in what Duo said. He just didn't have the strength to keep going ater something so far out of his reach. He felt the bed move as Duo rose, ten heard him walk to the door, then hesitate.
"All hope may seem to have been lost for now buddy, but that doesn't mean things don't change. You've never failed or given up, even when the rest of us wanted to. I'm not gonna let you give up, not after we've come so far and for all we've sacrificed." With that Duo left the room leaving his brother with some time to think in peace. He walked down the hall towards Hilde's room and knocked upon her door.
"C'mon in," replied a cheery, female voice. As soon as Hilde saw Duo's distraught look, she immediately knew that things hadn't gone well with Relena and Heero. "What happened Duo?"
"I don't know. Things didn't go as planned. I swear Hilde, I will never make you unhappy or leave you. I only pray you'll never leave me." Hilde had risen from the bed and now walked toward the American. He embraced Hilde in a hug and held onto her, never wanting to let her go, swearing to himself that he wouldn't let their love go, he wouldn't let things end.
"I'll never leave you Duo." Hilde said in an exasperated tone. She knew what happened just by the way Duo was acting. Then, pulling from his embrace as common sense took over, "You should get to sleep. You still have to work tomorrow." He only nodded and then drew her into a kiss. Hilde didn't resist, she kissed him back with a longing, proving to him she would never leave his side for the rest of eternity. Slowly, reluctantly, she pulled away, ushering him off to bed. After Duo had gone to sleep, she left for Heero's room. Hilde knocked softly upon his door, just as Duo had done. She recieved no answer. Hilde slowly opened the door, making certain to be as quiet as possible. Her meho lay with his back to the door, still and silent. Walking over to him, she found that the young man was asleep, a look of sorrow still reflected upon his face. "Poor guy. It'll be okay Heero, you'll see." She whispered softly as she picked up the vid-phone. She placed it on the windowsill and
turned back to him. Taking the blankets that had fallen to his waist, Hilde gently pulled them up to his shoulders and watched as he snuggled deeprer, finding the consoling warmth of the quilt. "May angels watch over and protect you, dear Heero," she prayed as she looked at him a moment longer, then took the vid-phone and left the room, closing the door silently behind her.
*Ding......ding........ding* The grandfather clock chimed as the clock sturck 11 PM. It was getting really late, and she still had to have energy to take care of Heero and run some early morning errands. Setting the vid-phone on the desk near her door as she entered her room, she changed into a night shirt and turned off the lights. Settling into bed, she realized just how tired she'd been. 'I hope things work out between Heero and Relena,' she thought just moments before sleep claimed her for the remainder of the night.
~*~
"Gooooooooood morning Vally Ridge! It is 5:45 and this is Jon Davis with you on this beautiful Monday morning. This is the station you listen to to make the long work day go by just a bit fatser. We'll be playing your favorites and the new hits for you just after this short com......," the alarm clock announced, waking the reluctant mechanic.
Duo hit the snooze button, burrowing his head underneath the pillow. He refused to acknowledge the rising sun as it brought the new day. Guradually he dragged himself from the bd, going through the motions of his everyday reutine. He dressed, fixed his braid, put on his shoes, fixed the bed, and headed for the kitchen. Snatching a can of pop from the fridge and grabbing a bowl of cereal, he sat down and ate quickly and silently. "Man, I don't want to go to work today," he spoke to himself. Rising from his seat at the counter, he dumped off his bowl in the sink and took the half full can of pop with him as he set out for the car. Duo was sure to lock the door before he left the house, and to leave a note for Hilde saying that he'd try and be home for lunch, but that was pending.
Duo arrived at Dave's Auto Sop and Repair just a minute before they were to open. He'd get ready, then he'd work nearly non-stop until his lunch break. some would be as easy as changing the oil and a couple of spark plugs, but some would probably be as hard as replacing an old exhuast system. It was gonna be a long day.
"Hey Duo, how you doing?" Lynn greeted her co-worker with a friendly smile.
"Hey Lynn. Dave find anyone else to help me out?" Duo questioned, hope in his voice.
"Nope, sorry." She sympathized with him. "I'll be back there helpin' ya out for a while, though. You can't keep pullin' these long days by yourself."
"Thanks Lynn. What'd Dave say though?"
"He was just glad he didn't have o come out and beg me to help you."
Duo laughed as he imagined his boss, Dave Carter, begging Lynn on his knees. Dave was a pretty cool guy, he loved to joke around and just have a fun time, as long as the work was done or being done. Duo headed in back to change into his work clothes as Lynn finished putting in the rest of the inventory information before she joined him in the "grease pit".
~y~
Hilde stretched her arms toward the sunlight that shone on the ceiling. 'Ah, another gloriuos morning,' Hilde thought to herself as she yawned and rubbed the sleep from her eyes. Jumping out of bed, she headed straight to her closet. She grabbed out a black sweater that she'd borrowed from Duo and a pair of blue jeans after debating that it would be warmer to wear these than her new white silk blouse and black dress pants. Hitting the ON button on her sterio, she listened to the news as she got ready. *there wasn't anything else on to listen to*
"..........the L3 colony has resolved it's problem witht he malfunctioning electrical system and the people can finally return to their everday lifestyle.
Meanwhile, on Earth, the peace talks have been suspended for a short period of time. The peace talks were started because of the fighting betweentwo major religious groups. These talks were headed by Prince Milliardo Peacecraft and supervised as well by his younger sister, Princess Relena Peacecraft." Hilde's attention was caught and held by the sudden announcement. "The peace talks, Prince Milliardo says, have been temporarily haulted because his sister has fallen ill. There is no set date for the peace talks to resume once more.
Onto the weather. It's 35° out now and the temperatures are only expected to raise to the.....," Hilde didn't even bother to listen to the radio.
She knew that Relena's only illness was heartbrake by the way things seemed to be going the night before. Brushing her hair to it's normal style, she began to think if she should maybe call and see how things were going with Relena and maybe see how she could help. She wasn't trying to be nosy or play matchmaker, she just couldn't watch her friends go through so much pain and frustration. she walked briskly down the hallway and stopped by Heero's door. She looked at it. Should she? she grabbed the door handle and turned it slowly, opening the door without a sound. Better safe than sorry, right? Hilde found Heero, laying with his back tot he window and facing the door. He was still asleep, still a look of sadness playing on his face. Unconciously she sighed, feeling sympathy for the guy. Heero stirred and immediately Hilde clamped her hands over her mouth, she didn't want to wake him.
Heero opened his eyes groggily, only to find a blur of shapes and colors. Blinking, he realized it was morning and Hilde was standing in his room, looking somewhat ashamed. He rolled onto his back and used the palms of his hands to wie the sleep from his eyes. 'Maybe it was just a dream,' Heero thought hopefully, recalling a "conversation" with Relena. He prayed it was all just a bad dream. "Hilde, what time is it?" he called, half asleep.
"It's almost six-thirty. I'm sorry if I woke you up. You can go back to sleep, there's noneed to worry about it. I just have a couple of errands to run this morning, then I'll be back. I just wanted to make sure you were all right." Hilde apologized quickly, looking somwhat embarrassed.
"I'm fine," he replied, stretching his arms above his head. "Duo awake yet?"
"Ya, he's at wrok though. How you feelin'?"
Heero tried to rise, but only got partially through sitting up before he fell back onto the bed, grimacing in pain. Hilde was at his side in seconds. He looked into her worried face and smiled. "I'm fine, just not ready to get up yet." He saw a smile spread across Hilde's face, though worry still lingered.
Hilde knew he'd still be sore and tired. she was glad he wasn't trying to push himself and tire himself out even more. "Well, you should try and get some rest. The doctor said that's what probably put you in the hospital in the first place," she chided. Heero only gave her a confused look. "He said you were not only physically, but mentally tired. that's what could cause a little thing like an upset stomach or the flu bug to become a deadly killer. You've been wearing yourself out, you just need to relax." She placed her hand on his.
Well, it made sense. Heero had been wearing himself out and thos nightmares were no help. He'd gotten a much needed rest last night, he was even too tired to dream. Dream. He did, but he didn't want the answer. Was his "conversation" with Relena a dream, or was it real? "Hilde," he hesitated. Hilde looked back with perked interest.
"Yes?"
"Did I talk to Relena last night? Or was it all a dream, everything she said." Silently he prayed that Hilde would reply that it was a nightmare. One look at her face told him his prayers weren't coming true.
"It, it wasn't a dream, Heero. I'm sorry." She thought about telling him it was a dream, but she couldn't lie to him.
A small groan was his reply. He recalled all of their conversation, the hurt feelings, the regrets, his love's different emotions. Even if she never returned his love, even if she spurned him, he would always love her. Nothing could ever change that.
Hilde bit her tongue, she didn't dare tell Heero of Relena's "sickness". Maybe it would make things better, but most likely, Heero would take it upon himself as something he'd done to her and hate himself even though he didn't do it. No, she would keep it to herself.
Heero looked at his brother's girlfriend, there was something she wasn't telling him. Hilde never was good at lying. "Hilde, what is it? You're not telling me something."
"Oh, nothing. It's nothing to worry about." Hilde cursed herself for letting him see right through her.
"Hilde," he said sternly, but with patience.
Hilde got up, trying to avoid the subject. "I need to run to the campus and pick up my homework from my professors and borrow the notes from Maya, send out the car payment athe the post office, then I'll be bakc." She was standing at the door, looking back at Heero.
Heero wasn't going to let her keep avoiding him. He sat up, even if it did cause him to grimace again, and looked at Hilde once more. "Hilde, stop avoiding my question." He spoke more sternly this time. Hilde only turned from him. He placed his feet on the floor and tried to stand, but collapsed to his knees. Darn his legs! He sat on his hands and knees for a moment, then looked up at Hilde who had rushed over to his side.
"Heero, are you okay? You should still be in bed." Hilde avoided his imploring gaze, hoping to change the subject.
Heero gripped her hand and held it firmly. He tried to get the answer from her once more, "Hilde, please tell me what you're trying to keep from me. It can't be worse than having Relena reject me." He tried to sound as if the last sentence meant nothing to him, but in truth the words stung like salt in a fresh wound.
'Oh yes it can,' thought Hilde to herself. Again she tried to avoid the subject. "Duo should be coming home for lunch. You're good with machines, aren't you? Maybe you might consider being a mechanic. Duo's boss needs some help and the pay is really good. Plus, Duo says Dave's a nice guy. He could probably help you out, in getting a new job and starting over. I.....," She stopped, seeing the determination in the young man's eyes. He wasn't going to rest until he knew and Hilde wasn't going anywhere until she told.
"Hilde, stop. I don't need to be protected, just tell me what's wrong." His patience was wearing thin. Curiousity was eating at him.
"Heero, I........," she wasn't getting anywhere and he wasn't giving up. If she was here, then maybe it would be better if he did find out. He'd find out if she was gone, but if she was here, she could make sure nothing happened to him.
"Hilde, please."
She hesitated, then figured it would be best if she was with him when he found out. "It's Relena. I want you to know though, it isn't your fault and I don't want you to blame yourself for it."
"Hilde," Heero knew she was just stalling time.
"I heard on the radio this morning that the peace talks between two major religious groups have been paused. They were started by Miss Relena and her brothe. They've been stooped for a short while because Milliardo says his sister's fallen ill. She hasn't been seen, and Milliardo isn't saying anything else." She stopped, wondering if she should add the next part. She decided against it.
'Relena was just fine last night, well, before I......,' how could Hilde say it wasn't his fault? That's it, Relena was just fine until he confessed his feelings. He was just ruining everything since he called Duo, wasn't he?
Hilde watched as Heero leaned back against the bed, closing his eyes and evidentally blaming himself for it. 'Why didn't I just keep my mouth shut!?!?!?!?!?!' Sympathy filled her being as she placed her hand upon his. "Heero, it wasn't your fault. You couldn't have predicted her actions or how she would have taken what you said last night. Even I couldn't have! You didn't know she'd fall ill after you talked either."
"Hilde, she was fine until I told her what I felt." Heero persisted.
Frustration began to take over Hilde's sympathy. Sitting back and watching Heero continually blame himself for everything was really getting old! Hilde stood up and took the offense. "Look Heero. Do you even know why she fell ill? Do you even know what illness she has? I'm not going to sit idlely by and watch you blame yourself." Anger was filling her voice, but she couldn't stop herself from just saying what she thought.
Heero opened his eyes and looked, disbelieving Hild's sudden burst of anger. He'd never seen her angry, let alone this angry. He sat back and listened obediantly. He didn't even bother to argue.
"You don't, do you? Well, her only problem is she made a mistake and she can't fix it. She's only heartbroken and doesn't have the guts to admit it. I swear, it's not like she's never experienced it before. Relena's sitting in her castle, wallowing in self pity and not doing anything about it. Just like you were. Well, are you just going to sit here, or are you actually going to do something about it? She loves you and you love her and you're just gonna sit back and let it die? I don't think so! Life's not easy and thing's don't always go your way, but that doesn't mean you have the right to give up! Relena thinks someone is gonna come along and make things better. Hmph! Some nerve. Well, that's not thw way life works, you've gotta get up and do something about it yourself. If you're gonna love her, then do something about it instead of just sitting here. If you're not gonna do anything about it, just forget about her and get on with your life and make things a little easier
on the rest of us. Things didn't work out right away with Duo and me, but did you see me sitting back and crying about it? No. I can't believe you, of all people.....," Hilde trailed off, mumbling to herself about how amazing, of all people, Heero would be one to give up. She felt better about releasing her anger, but she still wasn't done.
Heero looked on, surprised, amusement, and even a little fear mixed in his eyes. this was a side he'd never seen of Hilde. In fact, he didn't think anyone, even Hilde herself, knew this side of her existed. Hilde paced the floor in front of him, continuing to mumble to herself. Suddenly she stopped and turned to face him.
"Well, are you just gonna sit ther and look at me or are you going to say something?"
"Wh-what do you want me to do?" he spoke suddenly.
Hidle thought for a moment. Now that she'd released her anger, she could concentrated and think again. She felt a little guilty for blowing up on Heero, but hey, at least he wasn't blaming himself anymore and was willing to do something about his love for Relena. Mumbling to herself, "hmmm....can't do it by vid-phone......can't just show up on her doorstep.....hmmm.......maybe we could......no, not good enough.....that'd work, yes! I'd have to........," then speaking louder, "Give me a little while, I'll have it sorted out by then. I need to talk to Duo about this." Seeing that he was still staring at her, mixed emotions reflected in his eyes, she replied more calmyl, "You need to rest, at least while I'm gone. If you don't, it'll make things a lot harder for us."
Heero nodded, still surprised by the young lady that stood in front of him. He wasn't gonna argue, that's one thing he'd learned within just those few minutes of Hilde's sudden eruption. If he argued, Lord knows what'd happen.
Hilde returned to Heero's side once again, slightly embarrassed as she felt his eyes follow her, still holding extreme anstonishment. She helped him back onto the bed and urged him to lay down. He did so obediently, surprising Hilde to some extent. "Can I get ya anything? Hungry or something?"
"No,' was his small reply. He felt sleep beckoning him again, pulling him into unconciousness.
"Go to sleep, then. I can tell you'res till tired and you need your rest." Smiling down at Heero, she sat next to him and held his hand gently.
"I-I'm sorry Hilde," Heero apologized tiredly.
"For what?" she asked, though she really didn't have to to understand him.
"For everything," was all he said.
Hilde gave his hand a reassuring squeeze, she hadn't meant to make him feel bad. Recalling a song her mother used to sing to her when Hilde though that she'd dones something to upset her mother, she began to hum the tume. Hilde would upset her mother from time to time, and her mother would assure her that she still loved her little girl by singing the song and holding her close.
"Some say love,
it is a river, that drowns the tender reed.
Some say love,
it is a razor, that leads your soul to bleed.
Some say love,
it is a hunger, an endless aching need.
I say love,
it is a flower, and you it's only seed."
Hilde watched as Heero looked at her with tired, yet grateful eyes. She continued to sing with a smile upon her lips.
"It's the heart, afraid of breaking,
that never learns to dance.
It's the dream, afraid of waking,
that never takes the chance.
It's the one that won't be taken,
that cannot seem to give.
And the soul, afraid of dying,
that never learns to live."
Hilde watched as he drifted off to sleep, his breathing becoming slow and relaxed. He was almos asleep, almost. Hilde continued to sing, pouring her heart and soul into the moving words.
"When the night has been too lonely,
and the road has been too long,
and you think that love is only for the lucky and the strong.
Just remember in the winter,
far beneath the winter snows,
lies a seed that with the sun's love,
in the spring becomes the rose."
Heero heard the last few words of the song before he fell into the arms of sleep. He would sleep, and dream. Dream of his love for Relena, dream of his time spent with her, and dream of holding her in his arms once more.
Hilde finished, humming the last few notes of the song, feeling Heero slip into the land of dreamers as his grip on her hand loosened. "Sleep soundly, Heero." Hilde gently slid her hand from his and rose, walking to the door again. Glancing a second time, she was satisfied that he would be all right and walked out of the room. Grabbing her coat and the keys, she headed out to the garage. They also had a truck, an older vehicle, but as long as it worked and got her to where she wanted to go, Hilde didn't really mind.
"Good morning Hilde!" called her next door neighbor. It was Mr. Chen, a sweet, older man.
"Good morning Mr. Chen!" called Hilde in a cheery voice. She waved at him as she opened the door to the garage. Turning the key to unlock the garage door was the hardest part. 'Looks like it's startin' to rust again. Gonna have to do something about it later,' she thought as she pushed the door up. Hilde unlocked the truck, jumped in, and started it up. She pulled out o fthe garage slowly, making sure not to hit duo's tool chest. He still hadn't moved it even after Hilde had scolded him the time before. She put the truck in park, jumped out and closed the garage, locking it, jumped back into the warming vehicle, and left for the community college. She was taking a few college courses so that she could get a computer programming job. She would finish her courses and get her degree that summer. She was also top of her class, and recommened by many of her professors, so she hoped that she'd be able to get a good career started.
Pulling into the main area, she parked the truck and lock it. Jumping out, she passed by one of the security guards, waved, then trotted off towards her classes. She nocked on the closed door of her first class. It was Professors Henry's Mathematics class.
"Come in," was his answer to the knock, though his voice was muffled by the door.
Hilde opened the door and was met by the stares and smiles of her fellow classmates.
"Ah, Hilde, I was beginning to think you forgot about my class. We were just going over...."
"I'm sorry Professor, but I just came to hand in my homework and get today and tomorrow's homework."
"Is everything all right?" Mr. Henry asked, forgetting the rest of the class.
"My boyfriend's brother is over and he's ill, so I'm staying home to take care of him while Duo's at work." Most everyone knew Duo. He was a favorite subject in this class. Hilde had gotten caught talking to Mary about duo's antics one day and Mr. Henry had her announce to the class what she thought was so important. After telling the class what she told Mary, Mr. Henry must have thought it amuxing and daily he would ask, if Hilde's classmates hadn't first, about her and Duo.
"You never told us Duo had a brother," Ashely noted from the back of the room. "Is he anything like Duo?"
"Is he single?" came another question. Sarah had asked this. the rest of the class burst out laughing and started to taunt Sarah playfully.
"I'll answer later," then turning back to her professor with a smile, "may I please get my homework? I need to get home before Heero wakes up again." Her professor quickly jotted down her assignments and she left as Mr. Henry tried to bring the class back to their previous subject.
She crossed the campus grounds and headed towards her Advanced English class. Professor Stamper caught sight of her as she stood silently outside the doorway, raising her hand to knock. Waving her in, she looked at Hilde with a puzzled expression.
"Miss Hilde, you don't have my class for another hour. Did you forget?"
"No Professor Stamper, I just wanted to get my homework since I won't be in your class today or tomorrow." she was wary of the strange eyes that watched her. She didn't know anyone im Mrs. Stamper's early classes/
"Cutting my class Miss Hilde?" Professor Stamper questioned with mischief as she wrote down the assignments.
"Me? Never. I'm taking care of an ill friend. You know me better, Professor." Hilde smiled as she took the assignments for English and put them in her pocket with her Math homework.
"You're right, you'd never miss a chance to disrupt and make trouble in my class. Take care, I hope your friend feels better," called Mrs. Stamper as Hilde left.
'Just three more classes to go,' thought Hilde as she raced even further across the campus grounds to her last classes. Everything was pretty much the same. Mrs. Silvers, Hilde's computer technology professor, Mrs. Eardly, her chemistry professor, and Mr. McPheron, her geography professor acted pretty much in the same manner. After she finished explaining to Professor McPheron, she sprinted from the geography hall towards the main building. She wouldn't be bored today. Hilde already had six major paper and three reports to do. It was going to be a long day.
Jumping in the truck, she headed towards the post office, it was the closest. Dropping off the car payment in the mail box, she headed down Keowee Street and on to Maya's apartment.
"Maya, Maya c'mon. It's Hilde, answer the door!" Hilde called loud enough for her sleeping best friend to hear. There was a slow moving of footsteps from inside, and then the door opened, revealing a young woman of Hilde's age in her pj's with disheveled hair.
"Hey Hild," she called sleepily. "Whatcha want?"
"I need to borrow your notes from class." Hilde stated as she entered the small living room. Maya took night classes, the same classes that Hilde took ,but they always got the notes the night before Hilde did. "I'll have to borrow yours from tonight too."
Maya walked into the kitchen are and grabbed her notes from the table. "That's cool. Not gonna go to class today?"
"Stayin' home to take care of Duo's hombre."
A devilish grin crossed Maya's lips. "Oh, I see," she said, winking at Hilde.
"Uhn," Hilde sighed as she shook her head at her friend's devious little mind.
Maya only burst out laughing. "Joking, joking," she assured. "I'll have to come over later and check the guy out."
"Hey, you keep your paws off," she warned.
"Hey, you've got Duo, what are ya gonna do with his brother? Now that ya meantion it, I didn't know Duo had a brother." Maya looked at Hilde thoughtfully.
"He's in love, don't even think about messin' it up. But hey, you're welcome to come over and visit. He's not feeling too good, so you don't want to show up hyper and in the mood to party." Maya was cool, but she couldn get a little rambunctious from time to time.
"Tight!" she said, excitement in her voice. "I'll come over around three when I get off work. That cool?"
"Yep, but hey, gotta go. See ya later!" Hilde called as she took the notes in her hand and walked off toward the truck. Hilde looked at her watch, 'Man, already 7:52. This is taking longer than I thought. I need to get home.' She turned the ignition on and headed towards the house.
Pulling into the drive once more, she put the truck in part and turned off the engine. Striding to the door, she sorted through her keys and grabbed the one for the front door. Quietly she entered the house, finding nothing but silence. She dropped her assighments on the table and headed towards her room. She wanted to get started as soon as possible on her homework. She'd have a lot to do. Hilde stopped be Heero's door, only to find him still asleep, then approached her room, grabbed her books and lap top, and made her way to the living room once again.
"Maybe I'll start on Doegraphy, that's probably the easiest," Hilde spoke outloud to herself while shuffling through her numerous books. Grabbing the largest of the books, she settled down and opened it, readin about, "The Greatest Wars in the History of the Earth; From World War I to The War of 79 A.C." She'd have to do at least a five page major paper on the different wars, how they began, their outcome, and their affect on civilization. She had a feeling that she'd have more of a ten page paper for her professor. She wanted a good grade, so that meant she'd have to really explain everything in her paper, making it twice as long.
~*~
Milliardo closed his sister's door behind him quietly as he left for his chambers. Relena had finally cried herself to sleep after her most recent nightmare. He'd stayed with her until she slept, comforting her in her time of need.
Opening his door, he headed straight to his bed and collapsed upon it. He'd stayed with his sister all through the night and this morning, but he was too tired to do anything more. The news reporters were no help. They just kept hounding him about his sister, never leaving their personal life in peace.
"Now, just to find that kid," Milliardo thought aloud, thinking of where Heero would be. His sister didn't know what to do, so he'd have to make things right. He'd known Heero enough through battle to tell he cared greatly for his little sister and wouldn't mean to hurt her. In fact, he'd nearly died numerous times just protecting his sister, making sure no harm would befall her.
A knock on the door broght his attention back to the present. "Come in," the prince called, sitting up. Noin walked in, a look of sympathy in her eyes.
"She finally fall asleep?" Lucretzia asked, crossing over to Milliardo.
"Finally," was his reply as he stood and met Lucretzia with a kiss.
"What are we gonna do though, she's heartbroken and I'm at a total loss." She leaned into her prince as he held her in a warm embrace.
"Simple, we find the guy and get the two together, then let love take control. That's all we can really do," he said, not really knowing what other options they had.
"Simple? Heero could be anywhere and that guy has always, always been the hardest to find of all the Gundam Pilots. Sounds like a nice plan, but simple? C'mon Milliardo, even you can't say it's gonna be that easy," Noin retorted, smiling as she gazed into his face.
*Ring, ring* the vid-phone in hsi quarters sounded.
*Ring, ring*
~*~
-Lady Stardancer
Author's note:
Hey all, sorry this took a little while. My computer is really getting on my nerves! I had this one saved too, but after I printed it out I tried to save and it erased the chapter! *held back as she tries to take computer and throw it out the window two stories high* Good thing I printed it out, though. All I had to do was copy it. *sighs in relief*
I kinda had to cut this one a lil' short too, thus meaning the best part(s) of the story will be bumped up a couple of chapters. Sorry, but my dad made me cut this one down, I was almost halfway through this chapter and it was already 23 pgs. long! I cut it down in the best spot, though it really isn't best to cut this chapter down. Oh well, thanks for all my reviews! ^_^ Eight is a start. Special thanks to Tech, they pointed out that I've been spelling Duo's name wrong. (previous =Dou, should be = Duo) If I spell any other names wrong, sorry, appreciate it if you'd tell me.
I have chapter 6 half way done, so it won't take long. Sorry to keep any of waiting, but my agenda's been a lil hectic. Plus I can't spell if my life depended on it now, so this made things a little hardere. *whimpers in frustration* Hey, look forward to all of your reviews! ~*~!!!THANKS!!!~*~
~*~Chapter 5~*~
Hard Lessons in Life
"Relena, I need to tell you this now or I may never have the nerve again. I-I-I," he froze. He couldn't say it. Why couldn't he just say thos simple little words that he knew he was capable of? They were just words. Three little words!
"Heero," Relena was surprised by what she was seeing. There was a look of fear in Heero's eyes as he tried to speak the words that she was meant to hear. She thought that she wouldnever live to see the day when Heero Yuy, The Perfect Soldier, would experience fear.
Heero's frustrations were beginning to take over his fear. He blurted out quickly in anger what he'd been trying to say without even thinking about how it would sound. "OH FOR CHRIST SAKE, I LOVE YOU RELENA." He'd done it, he'd finally said it after all this time. He'd made it out to be harder than it actually was. Then realizing that he'd said it in anger and frustration, not to meantion he'd practically just yelled at Relena, he spoke more softly and with extreme sincerity, "I'm sorry for yelling like that Relena. I love you, though. I left because I didn't know what else to do, I was confused. But I could never forget you, not even if I tried. Dear God, Relena, I didn't know what to do. But," he hesitated, seeing the look of disbelief and almost utter disappointment reflected upon her face, " I knew I was wrong. To leave. I thought the confustions would go away, but it only got worse. I felt empty, like a part of me was missing. I didn't know why at first, but with help,
I now know why. It's because I wasn't with you, I couldn't be by your side." Heero's eyes looked into hers, begging her to understand, He caught her eyes and held them, but only for a moment. She tore her gaze from his imploring ne and looked at her hands as they lay in her lap. Heero felt his heart sink, for this is exactly what he didn't want to happen, This is why he'd hesitated before he hit ENTER. "I'm sorry I had to put you through so much pain Relena. I'm sorry if I still am. I just want you to be happy." His voice trailed off as he looked down himself, trying to hide the threat of oncoming tears. He couldn't forget or hight his emotions any more. Despite the fact that his friends needed him, Relena was one of the things that really made a difference. That's why he kept going, kept fighting, kept going through so much pain and torture. Because of her. It was no use now, she probably hated him for his confession and wouldn't wish to speak to him again. this he
understood, he'd put her through so much already.
Relena sat still, avoiding Heero's gaze. She was the one who was confused now. The countless nights she'd spent awake, crying for him, thinking of him. The times she sat and made herself believe that she'd done something to drive him away. she wasn't sure wheter she should be angry, forgiving, joyful, or wary of Heero. Relena just didn't want to set her heart up again only to be let down. It had broken once before, and she feared this time, should he leave her again, it wouldn't just break. It would shatter.
"I'm sorry Relena, I'll leave you in peace with your new life. I won't bother you again," he said, though to say those words caused him extreme anguish. Trying once more, even if i wasn't any use, he looked up and searched her eyes. There were no emotions hidden in her deep blue eyes, not one hint of caring or love. His vision was now being blurred by the increasing tears that he fought back, for he wasn't his usual self. If he'd had more strength, then maybe, just maybe he could have stopped them from coming.
Relena looked into Heero's face, a stolid mask in place to hid her true feelings. What met her sught was heart-breaking. She could visibly see the tears that mirrored her own hiddend emotions, the regret, longing, and even dispair in the prussian blue depths. A lone tear traced it's path down his pale cheek, Heero not even bothering to brush it away. Her mask nearly faultered, but she didn't lower it. She had to protect herself, didn't she? She couldn't let her heart be broken again. She wanted to be with him, but the question was, was Heero going to stay?
Heero, seeing that she wasn't going to changer her mind, knew what he had to do. He closed his eyes, forcing back the other tears before they fell. Opening them once again, he spoke quietly, "Goodbye Relena, I'm truly sorry." With one final glance at her expressionless face, he turned from the screen and reached for the key that read ENTER. It would end his final conversaton with the one he loved and he would bother her no longer.
Relena didn't know what to do. Was she wrong? Was she right? She didn't know, but what she did know is that she couldn't put him through this. "Heero, I......," she had hesiated a moment too long, for he was gone. Relena's screen faded to black, heero had left her once more.
Minutes after the conversation had ceased, she realized that she was ever so wrong, and only partially right. "Oh no, what have I done? What hae I done?" she cried in disbelief as she reaised her hands to her face. With Heero's departure, she realized that he'd practically sat before her, begging for one more chance, confessing his undying love for her, giving her his heart. And what did she do? She'd basically killed his hope and crushed his love.
She heard the door open, someone walk in, and the door shut right behind her, but paid it no mind. The tears of sadness she'd held off for so long, fell from her eyes, falling onto her new ankle-length skirt.
Milliardo stepped into his sister's study, only to find that his little sister sat at her desk, upset. He crossed over the room and kneeld by her side. He instantly became worried when he saw tears streaming down his younger sibling's face. "Relena, what happened? Are you all right?"
"I drove him away again, Milliardo. I drove himaway and he's not going to come back. Heero's not going to come bakc." She sobbed, letting her elder brother draw her into an understanding hug. Even his strength gave her no comfort, so she continued to cry, harder than she'd ever cried in her lifetime.
"Shhh, everything'll be all right, it'll be all right." He rubbed her back in a soothing motion as he would do when his little sister was scared as a child. Relena hadn't been very old at the time, not even old enough to talk, but he was her big brother and it was his job to take care of her. "I'll take care of you now."
"It's not going to be all right, he probably hates me now. He said he loved me and I just rejected him. How could I be so stupid?" Relena cursed herself for her pride and uncertainty.
Milliardo, not being able to see his sister in such a state, replied with confidence and a new mission. "Don't worry, I'll make everything all right, you'll see."
~*~
Heero closed the lid of the screen, placed it on the bed next to him, and fell back onto the pillows. An emptiness unlike any other he'd felt before filled his entire being. A deep sadness overwhelmed him and he succomed to despair. His foolishness had ruined everything, and now this was the price he was to pay. "She can be happy now. I can't hurt her any longer." Heero was so deep in hopelessness that he didn't hear the light tapping on his door.
Duo strolled in, only thinking that Heero had finished his conversation with Relena and he was too tired to answer. "Hey lover boy, how'd it go?" He saw his brother's envious and saddened eyes stare at him, and he knew he'd said something wrong. "What happened buddy?" Duo leaned against the pole at the foot of his four poster bed.
"What do you think? Relena's happy with her new life and she hates me. I just hurt her when I called and told her what I felt. My stupidity ruined everything and if you don't mind, I'd like to sit her in self pit and fell like becoming more aquainted with death."
"Maybe you misinterpreted her. Maybe you just surprised her and she hadn't had time to take it in," he thought optimistically.
"Duo, I didn't misinterpret, and she had plenty of time to take it in. I messed it up, and now I feel like dying." He closed his eyes and sank into a state of depression, no longer caring.
"Hey, we can fix things. Don't give up yet." Duo didn't know what else to say. Heero was going through a lot, but he wasn't taking it like Duo would have expected. He walked over and sat next to his brother.
"Duo, it's not gonna work. I envy you and Hilde, you can be with each other and have a happy life." He looke dat Duo with forlorn eyes. He didn't care about anything any longer, so he let the tears of sorrow fall. He didn't even try to control his emotions. "Duo never, no matter what, think of ever letting Hilde go. Stay happy and keep her happy. You both have true love, something I'll never experience. But once you lose it, most don't get it back." He closed his eyes and turned from Duo, sulking in his misery.
"Heero, I........," he did't know what to say. Heero'd just given up, something he'd never done. At a loss for words and uncertainty, he placed his hand upon Heero's arm in and attempt to give him some hope. "If you love Relena, you can't give up. You have a greter and truer love for her than any other person could ever hold. You can't just give up on it, this is just an obsticle in your way. Missions don't always go as planned, but you've pulled every one of them off, haven't ya?" He hesitated a moment. "This is just another mission in life, one you've accepted and can complete, just don't give up on yourself or Relena."
Heero was silent, he didn't feel like talking. Maybe there was some truth in what Duo said. He just didn't have the strength to keep going ater something so far out of his reach. He felt the bed move as Duo rose, ten heard him walk to the door, then hesitate.
"All hope may seem to have been lost for now buddy, but that doesn't mean things don't change. You've never failed or given up, even when the rest of us wanted to. I'm not gonna let you give up, not after we've come so far and for all we've sacrificed." With that Duo left the room leaving his brother with some time to think in peace. He walked down the hall towards Hilde's room and knocked upon her door.
"C'mon in," replied a cheery, female voice. As soon as Hilde saw Duo's distraught look, she immediately knew that things hadn't gone well with Relena and Heero. "What happened Duo?"
"I don't know. Things didn't go as planned. I swear Hilde, I will never make you unhappy or leave you. I only pray you'll never leave me." Hilde had risen from the bed and now walked toward the American. He embraced Hilde in a hug and held onto her, never wanting to let her go, swearing to himself that he wouldn't let their love go, he wouldn't let things end.
"I'll never leave you Duo." Hilde said in an exasperated tone. She knew what happened just by the way Duo was acting. Then, pulling from his embrace as common sense took over, "You should get to sleep. You still have to work tomorrow." He only nodded and then drew her into a kiss. Hilde didn't resist, she kissed him back with a longing, proving to him she would never leave his side for the rest of eternity. Slowly, reluctantly, she pulled away, ushering him off to bed. After Duo had gone to sleep, she left for Heero's room. Hilde knocked softly upon his door, just as Duo had done. She recieved no answer. Hilde slowly opened the door, making certain to be as quiet as possible. Her meho lay with his back to the door, still and silent. Walking over to him, she found that the young man was asleep, a look of sorrow still reflected upon his face. "Poor guy. It'll be okay Heero, you'll see." She whispered softly as she picked up the vid-phone. She placed it on the windowsill and
turned back to him. Taking the blankets that had fallen to his waist, Hilde gently pulled them up to his shoulders and watched as he snuggled deeprer, finding the consoling warmth of the quilt. "May angels watch over and protect you, dear Heero," she prayed as she looked at him a moment longer, then took the vid-phone and left the room, closing the door silently behind her.
*Ding......ding........ding* The grandfather clock chimed as the clock sturck 11 PM. It was getting really late, and she still had to have energy to take care of Heero and run some early morning errands. Setting the vid-phone on the desk near her door as she entered her room, she changed into a night shirt and turned off the lights. Settling into bed, she realized just how tired she'd been. 'I hope things work out between Heero and Relena,' she thought just moments before sleep claimed her for the remainder of the night.
~*~
"Gooooooooood morning Vally Ridge! It is 5:45 and this is Jon Davis with you on this beautiful Monday morning. This is the station you listen to to make the long work day go by just a bit fatser. We'll be playing your favorites and the new hits for you just after this short com......," the alarm clock announced, waking the reluctant mechanic.
Duo hit the snooze button, burrowing his head underneath the pillow. He refused to acknowledge the rising sun as it brought the new day. Guradually he dragged himself from the bd, going through the motions of his everyday reutine. He dressed, fixed his braid, put on his shoes, fixed the bed, and headed for the kitchen. Snatching a can of pop from the fridge and grabbing a bowl of cereal, he sat down and ate quickly and silently. "Man, I don't want to go to work today," he spoke to himself. Rising from his seat at the counter, he dumped off his bowl in the sink and took the half full can of pop with him as he set out for the car. Duo was sure to lock the door before he left the house, and to leave a note for Hilde saying that he'd try and be home for lunch, but that was pending.
Duo arrived at Dave's Auto Sop and Repair just a minute before they were to open. He'd get ready, then he'd work nearly non-stop until his lunch break. some would be as easy as changing the oil and a couple of spark plugs, but some would probably be as hard as replacing an old exhuast system. It was gonna be a long day.
"Hey Duo, how you doing?" Lynn greeted her co-worker with a friendly smile.
"Hey Lynn. Dave find anyone else to help me out?" Duo questioned, hope in his voice.
"Nope, sorry." She sympathized with him. "I'll be back there helpin' ya out for a while, though. You can't keep pullin' these long days by yourself."
"Thanks Lynn. What'd Dave say though?"
"He was just glad he didn't have o come out and beg me to help you."
Duo laughed as he imagined his boss, Dave Carter, begging Lynn on his knees. Dave was a pretty cool guy, he loved to joke around and just have a fun time, as long as the work was done or being done. Duo headed in back to change into his work clothes as Lynn finished putting in the rest of the inventory information before she joined him in the "grease pit".
~y~
Hilde stretched her arms toward the sunlight that shone on the ceiling. 'Ah, another gloriuos morning,' Hilde thought to herself as she yawned and rubbed the sleep from her eyes. Jumping out of bed, she headed straight to her closet. She grabbed out a black sweater that she'd borrowed from Duo and a pair of blue jeans after debating that it would be warmer to wear these than her new white silk blouse and black dress pants. Hitting the ON button on her sterio, she listened to the news as she got ready. *there wasn't anything else on to listen to*
"..........the L3 colony has resolved it's problem witht he malfunctioning electrical system and the people can finally return to their everday lifestyle.
Meanwhile, on Earth, the peace talks have been suspended for a short period of time. The peace talks were started because of the fighting betweentwo major religious groups. These talks were headed by Prince Milliardo Peacecraft and supervised as well by his younger sister, Princess Relena Peacecraft." Hilde's attention was caught and held by the sudden announcement. "The peace talks, Prince Milliardo says, have been temporarily haulted because his sister has fallen ill. There is no set date for the peace talks to resume once more.
Onto the weather. It's 35° out now and the temperatures are only expected to raise to the.....," Hilde didn't even bother to listen to the radio.
She knew that Relena's only illness was heartbrake by the way things seemed to be going the night before. Brushing her hair to it's normal style, she began to think if she should maybe call and see how things were going with Relena and maybe see how she could help. She wasn't trying to be nosy or play matchmaker, she just couldn't watch her friends go through so much pain and frustration. she walked briskly down the hallway and stopped by Heero's door. She looked at it. Should she? she grabbed the door handle and turned it slowly, opening the door without a sound. Better safe than sorry, right? Hilde found Heero, laying with his back tot he window and facing the door. He was still asleep, still a look of sadness playing on his face. Unconciously she sighed, feeling sympathy for the guy. Heero stirred and immediately Hilde clamped her hands over her mouth, she didn't want to wake him.
Heero opened his eyes groggily, only to find a blur of shapes and colors. Blinking, he realized it was morning and Hilde was standing in his room, looking somewhat ashamed. He rolled onto his back and used the palms of his hands to wie the sleep from his eyes. 'Maybe it was just a dream,' Heero thought hopefully, recalling a "conversation" with Relena. He prayed it was all just a bad dream. "Hilde, what time is it?" he called, half asleep.
"It's almost six-thirty. I'm sorry if I woke you up. You can go back to sleep, there's noneed to worry about it. I just have a couple of errands to run this morning, then I'll be back. I just wanted to make sure you were all right." Hilde apologized quickly, looking somwhat embarrassed.
"I'm fine," he replied, stretching his arms above his head. "Duo awake yet?"
"Ya, he's at wrok though. How you feelin'?"
Heero tried to rise, but only got partially through sitting up before he fell back onto the bed, grimacing in pain. Hilde was at his side in seconds. He looked into her worried face and smiled. "I'm fine, just not ready to get up yet." He saw a smile spread across Hilde's face, though worry still lingered.
Hilde knew he'd still be sore and tired. she was glad he wasn't trying to push himself and tire himself out even more. "Well, you should try and get some rest. The doctor said that's what probably put you in the hospital in the first place," she chided. Heero only gave her a confused look. "He said you were not only physically, but mentally tired. that's what could cause a little thing like an upset stomach or the flu bug to become a deadly killer. You've been wearing yourself out, you just need to relax." She placed her hand on his.
Well, it made sense. Heero had been wearing himself out and thos nightmares were no help. He'd gotten a much needed rest last night, he was even too tired to dream. Dream. He did, but he didn't want the answer. Was his "conversation" with Relena a dream, or was it real? "Hilde," he hesitated. Hilde looked back with perked interest.
"Yes?"
"Did I talk to Relena last night? Or was it all a dream, everything she said." Silently he prayed that Hilde would reply that it was a nightmare. One look at her face told him his prayers weren't coming true.
"It, it wasn't a dream, Heero. I'm sorry." She thought about telling him it was a dream, but she couldn't lie to him.
A small groan was his reply. He recalled all of their conversation, the hurt feelings, the regrets, his love's different emotions. Even if she never returned his love, even if she spurned him, he would always love her. Nothing could ever change that.
Hilde bit her tongue, she didn't dare tell Heero of Relena's "sickness". Maybe it would make things better, but most likely, Heero would take it upon himself as something he'd done to her and hate himself even though he didn't do it. No, she would keep it to herself.
Heero looked at his brother's girlfriend, there was something she wasn't telling him. Hilde never was good at lying. "Hilde, what is it? You're not telling me something."
"Oh, nothing. It's nothing to worry about." Hilde cursed herself for letting him see right through her.
"Hilde," he said sternly, but with patience.
Hilde got up, trying to avoid the subject. "I need to run to the campus and pick up my homework from my professors and borrow the notes from Maya, send out the car payment athe the post office, then I'll be bakc." She was standing at the door, looking back at Heero.
Heero wasn't going to let her keep avoiding him. He sat up, even if it did cause him to grimace again, and looked at Hilde once more. "Hilde, stop avoiding my question." He spoke more sternly this time. Hilde only turned from him. He placed his feet on the floor and tried to stand, but collapsed to his knees. Darn his legs! He sat on his hands and knees for a moment, then looked up at Hilde who had rushed over to his side.
"Heero, are you okay? You should still be in bed." Hilde avoided his imploring gaze, hoping to change the subject.
Heero gripped her hand and held it firmly. He tried to get the answer from her once more, "Hilde, please tell me what you're trying to keep from me. It can't be worse than having Relena reject me." He tried to sound as if the last sentence meant nothing to him, but in truth the words stung like salt in a fresh wound.
'Oh yes it can,' thought Hilde to herself. Again she tried to avoid the subject. "Duo should be coming home for lunch. You're good with machines, aren't you? Maybe you might consider being a mechanic. Duo's boss needs some help and the pay is really good. Plus, Duo says Dave's a nice guy. He could probably help you out, in getting a new job and starting over. I.....," She stopped, seeing the determination in the young man's eyes. He wasn't going to rest until he knew and Hilde wasn't going anywhere until she told.
"Hilde, stop. I don't need to be protected, just tell me what's wrong." His patience was wearing thin. Curiousity was eating at him.
"Heero, I........," she wasn't getting anywhere and he wasn't giving up. If she was here, then maybe it would be better if he did find out. He'd find out if she was gone, but if she was here, she could make sure nothing happened to him.
"Hilde, please."
She hesitated, then figured it would be best if she was with him when he found out. "It's Relena. I want you to know though, it isn't your fault and I don't want you to blame yourself for it."
"Hilde," Heero knew she was just stalling time.
"I heard on the radio this morning that the peace talks between two major religious groups have been paused. They were started by Miss Relena and her brothe. They've been stooped for a short while because Milliardo says his sister's fallen ill. She hasn't been seen, and Milliardo isn't saying anything else." She stopped, wondering if she should add the next part. She decided against it.
'Relena was just fine last night, well, before I......,' how could Hilde say it wasn't his fault? That's it, Relena was just fine until he confessed his feelings. He was just ruining everything since he called Duo, wasn't he?
Hilde watched as Heero leaned back against the bed, closing his eyes and evidentally blaming himself for it. 'Why didn't I just keep my mouth shut!?!?!?!?!?!' Sympathy filled her being as she placed her hand upon his. "Heero, it wasn't your fault. You couldn't have predicted her actions or how she would have taken what you said last night. Even I couldn't have! You didn't know she'd fall ill after you talked either."
"Hilde, she was fine until I told her what I felt." Heero persisted.
Frustration began to take over Hilde's sympathy. Sitting back and watching Heero continually blame himself for everything was really getting old! Hilde stood up and took the offense. "Look Heero. Do you even know why she fell ill? Do you even know what illness she has? I'm not going to sit idlely by and watch you blame yourself." Anger was filling her voice, but she couldn't stop herself from just saying what she thought.
Heero opened his eyes and looked, disbelieving Hild's sudden burst of anger. He'd never seen her angry, let alone this angry. He sat back and listened obediantly. He didn't even bother to argue.
"You don't, do you? Well, her only problem is she made a mistake and she can't fix it. She's only heartbroken and doesn't have the guts to admit it. I swear, it's not like she's never experienced it before. Relena's sitting in her castle, wallowing in self pity and not doing anything about it. Just like you were. Well, are you just going to sit here, or are you actually going to do something about it? She loves you and you love her and you're just gonna sit back and let it die? I don't think so! Life's not easy and thing's don't always go your way, but that doesn't mean you have the right to give up! Relena thinks someone is gonna come along and make things better. Hmph! Some nerve. Well, that's not thw way life works, you've gotta get up and do something about it yourself. If you're gonna love her, then do something about it instead of just sitting here. If you're not gonna do anything about it, just forget about her and get on with your life and make things a little easier
on the rest of us. Things didn't work out right away with Duo and me, but did you see me sitting back and crying about it? No. I can't believe you, of all people.....," Hilde trailed off, mumbling to herself about how amazing, of all people, Heero would be one to give up. She felt better about releasing her anger, but she still wasn't done.
Heero looked on, surprised, amusement, and even a little fear mixed in his eyes. this was a side he'd never seen of Hilde. In fact, he didn't think anyone, even Hilde herself, knew this side of her existed. Hilde paced the floor in front of him, continuing to mumble to herself. Suddenly she stopped and turned to face him.
"Well, are you just gonna sit ther and look at me or are you going to say something?"
"Wh-what do you want me to do?" he spoke suddenly.
Hidle thought for a moment. Now that she'd released her anger, she could concentrated and think again. She felt a little guilty for blowing up on Heero, but hey, at least he wasn't blaming himself anymore and was willing to do something about his love for Relena. Mumbling to herself, "hmmm....can't do it by vid-phone......can't just show up on her doorstep.....hmmm.......maybe we could......no, not good enough.....that'd work, yes! I'd have to........," then speaking louder, "Give me a little while, I'll have it sorted out by then. I need to talk to Duo about this." Seeing that he was still staring at her, mixed emotions reflected in his eyes, she replied more calmyl, "You need to rest, at least while I'm gone. If you don't, it'll make things a lot harder for us."
Heero nodded, still surprised by the young lady that stood in front of him. He wasn't gonna argue, that's one thing he'd learned within just those few minutes of Hilde's sudden eruption. If he argued, Lord knows what'd happen.
Hilde returned to Heero's side once again, slightly embarrassed as she felt his eyes follow her, still holding extreme anstonishment. She helped him back onto the bed and urged him to lay down. He did so obediently, surprising Hilde to some extent. "Can I get ya anything? Hungry or something?"
"No,' was his small reply. He felt sleep beckoning him again, pulling him into unconciousness.
"Go to sleep, then. I can tell you'res till tired and you need your rest." Smiling down at Heero, she sat next to him and held his hand gently.
"I-I'm sorry Hilde," Heero apologized tiredly.
"For what?" she asked, though she really didn't have to to understand him.
"For everything," was all he said.
Hilde gave his hand a reassuring squeeze, she hadn't meant to make him feel bad. Recalling a song her mother used to sing to her when Hilde though that she'd dones something to upset her mother, she began to hum the tume. Hilde would upset her mother from time to time, and her mother would assure her that she still loved her little girl by singing the song and holding her close.
"Some say love,
it is a river, that drowns the tender reed.
Some say love,
it is a razor, that leads your soul to bleed.
Some say love,
it is a hunger, an endless aching need.
I say love,
it is a flower, and you it's only seed."
Hilde watched as Heero looked at her with tired, yet grateful eyes. She continued to sing with a smile upon her lips.
"It's the heart, afraid of breaking,
that never learns to dance.
It's the dream, afraid of waking,
that never takes the chance.
It's the one that won't be taken,
that cannot seem to give.
And the soul, afraid of dying,
that never learns to live."
Hilde watched as he drifted off to sleep, his breathing becoming slow and relaxed. He was almos asleep, almost. Hilde continued to sing, pouring her heart and soul into the moving words.
"When the night has been too lonely,
and the road has been too long,
and you think that love is only for the lucky and the strong.
Just remember in the winter,
far beneath the winter snows,
lies a seed that with the sun's love,
in the spring becomes the rose."
Heero heard the last few words of the song before he fell into the arms of sleep. He would sleep, and dream. Dream of his love for Relena, dream of his time spent with her, and dream of holding her in his arms once more.
Hilde finished, humming the last few notes of the song, feeling Heero slip into the land of dreamers as his grip on her hand loosened. "Sleep soundly, Heero." Hilde gently slid her hand from his and rose, walking to the door again. Glancing a second time, she was satisfied that he would be all right and walked out of the room. Grabbing her coat and the keys, she headed out to the garage. They also had a truck, an older vehicle, but as long as it worked and got her to where she wanted to go, Hilde didn't really mind.
"Good morning Hilde!" called her next door neighbor. It was Mr. Chen, a sweet, older man.
"Good morning Mr. Chen!" called Hilde in a cheery voice. She waved at him as she opened the door to the garage. Turning the key to unlock the garage door was the hardest part. 'Looks like it's startin' to rust again. Gonna have to do something about it later,' she thought as she pushed the door up. Hilde unlocked the truck, jumped in, and started it up. She pulled out o fthe garage slowly, making sure not to hit duo's tool chest. He still hadn't moved it even after Hilde had scolded him the time before. She put the truck in park, jumped out and closed the garage, locking it, jumped back into the warming vehicle, and left for the community college. She was taking a few college courses so that she could get a computer programming job. She would finish her courses and get her degree that summer. She was also top of her class, and recommened by many of her professors, so she hoped that she'd be able to get a good career started.
Pulling into the main area, she parked the truck and lock it. Jumping out, she passed by one of the security guards, waved, then trotted off towards her classes. She nocked on the closed door of her first class. It was Professors Henry's Mathematics class.
"Come in," was his answer to the knock, though his voice was muffled by the door.
Hilde opened the door and was met by the stares and smiles of her fellow classmates.
"Ah, Hilde, I was beginning to think you forgot about my class. We were just going over...."
"I'm sorry Professor, but I just came to hand in my homework and get today and tomorrow's homework."
"Is everything all right?" Mr. Henry asked, forgetting the rest of the class.
"My boyfriend's brother is over and he's ill, so I'm staying home to take care of him while Duo's at work." Most everyone knew Duo. He was a favorite subject in this class. Hilde had gotten caught talking to Mary about duo's antics one day and Mr. Henry had her announce to the class what she thought was so important. After telling the class what she told Mary, Mr. Henry must have thought it amuxing and daily he would ask, if Hilde's classmates hadn't first, about her and Duo.
"You never told us Duo had a brother," Ashely noted from the back of the room. "Is he anything like Duo?"
"Is he single?" came another question. Sarah had asked this. the rest of the class burst out laughing and started to taunt Sarah playfully.
"I'll answer later," then turning back to her professor with a smile, "may I please get my homework? I need to get home before Heero wakes up again." Her professor quickly jotted down her assignments and she left as Mr. Henry tried to bring the class back to their previous subject.
She crossed the campus grounds and headed towards her Advanced English class. Professor Stamper caught sight of her as she stood silently outside the doorway, raising her hand to knock. Waving her in, she looked at Hilde with a puzzled expression.
"Miss Hilde, you don't have my class for another hour. Did you forget?"
"No Professor Stamper, I just wanted to get my homework since I won't be in your class today or tomorrow." she was wary of the strange eyes that watched her. She didn't know anyone im Mrs. Stamper's early classes/
"Cutting my class Miss Hilde?" Professor Stamper questioned with mischief as she wrote down the assignments.
"Me? Never. I'm taking care of an ill friend. You know me better, Professor." Hilde smiled as she took the assignments for English and put them in her pocket with her Math homework.
"You're right, you'd never miss a chance to disrupt and make trouble in my class. Take care, I hope your friend feels better," called Mrs. Stamper as Hilde left.
'Just three more classes to go,' thought Hilde as she raced even further across the campus grounds to her last classes. Everything was pretty much the same. Mrs. Silvers, Hilde's computer technology professor, Mrs. Eardly, her chemistry professor, and Mr. McPheron, her geography professor acted pretty much in the same manner. After she finished explaining to Professor McPheron, she sprinted from the geography hall towards the main building. She wouldn't be bored today. Hilde already had six major paper and three reports to do. It was going to be a long day.
Jumping in the truck, she headed towards the post office, it was the closest. Dropping off the car payment in the mail box, she headed down Keowee Street and on to Maya's apartment.
"Maya, Maya c'mon. It's Hilde, answer the door!" Hilde called loud enough for her sleeping best friend to hear. There was a slow moving of footsteps from inside, and then the door opened, revealing a young woman of Hilde's age in her pj's with disheveled hair.
"Hey Hild," she called sleepily. "Whatcha want?"
"I need to borrow your notes from class." Hilde stated as she entered the small living room. Maya took night classes, the same classes that Hilde took ,but they always got the notes the night before Hilde did. "I'll have to borrow yours from tonight too."
Maya walked into the kitchen are and grabbed her notes from the table. "That's cool. Not gonna go to class today?"
"Stayin' home to take care of Duo's hombre."
A devilish grin crossed Maya's lips. "Oh, I see," she said, winking at Hilde.
"Uhn," Hilde sighed as she shook her head at her friend's devious little mind.
Maya only burst out laughing. "Joking, joking," she assured. "I'll have to come over later and check the guy out."
"Hey, you keep your paws off," she warned.
"Hey, you've got Duo, what are ya gonna do with his brother? Now that ya meantion it, I didn't know Duo had a brother." Maya looked at Hilde thoughtfully.
"He's in love, don't even think about messin' it up. But hey, you're welcome to come over and visit. He's not feeling too good, so you don't want to show up hyper and in the mood to party." Maya was cool, but she couldn get a little rambunctious from time to time.
"Tight!" she said, excitement in her voice. "I'll come over around three when I get off work. That cool?"
"Yep, but hey, gotta go. See ya later!" Hilde called as she took the notes in her hand and walked off toward the truck. Hilde looked at her watch, 'Man, already 7:52. This is taking longer than I thought. I need to get home.' She turned the ignition on and headed towards the house.
Pulling into the drive once more, she put the truck in part and turned off the engine. Striding to the door, she sorted through her keys and grabbed the one for the front door. Quietly she entered the house, finding nothing but silence. She dropped her assighments on the table and headed towards her room. She wanted to get started as soon as possible on her homework. She'd have a lot to do. Hilde stopped be Heero's door, only to find him still asleep, then approached her room, grabbed her books and lap top, and made her way to the living room once again.
"Maybe I'll start on Doegraphy, that's probably the easiest," Hilde spoke outloud to herself while shuffling through her numerous books. Grabbing the largest of the books, she settled down and opened it, readin about, "The Greatest Wars in the History of the Earth; From World War I to The War of 79 A.C." She'd have to do at least a five page major paper on the different wars, how they began, their outcome, and their affect on civilization. She had a feeling that she'd have more of a ten page paper for her professor. She wanted a good grade, so that meant she'd have to really explain everything in her paper, making it twice as long.
~*~
Milliardo closed his sister's door behind him quietly as he left for his chambers. Relena had finally cried herself to sleep after her most recent nightmare. He'd stayed with her until she slept, comforting her in her time of need.
Opening his door, he headed straight to his bed and collapsed upon it. He'd stayed with his sister all through the night and this morning, but he was too tired to do anything more. The news reporters were no help. They just kept hounding him about his sister, never leaving their personal life in peace.
"Now, just to find that kid," Milliardo thought aloud, thinking of where Heero would be. His sister didn't know what to do, so he'd have to make things right. He'd known Heero enough through battle to tell he cared greatly for his little sister and wouldn't mean to hurt her. In fact, he'd nearly died numerous times just protecting his sister, making sure no harm would befall her.
A knock on the door broght his attention back to the present. "Come in," the prince called, sitting up. Noin walked in, a look of sympathy in her eyes.
"She finally fall asleep?" Lucretzia asked, crossing over to Milliardo.
"Finally," was his reply as he stood and met Lucretzia with a kiss.
"What are we gonna do though, she's heartbroken and I'm at a total loss." She leaned into her prince as he held her in a warm embrace.
"Simple, we find the guy and get the two together, then let love take control. That's all we can really do," he said, not really knowing what other options they had.
"Simple? Heero could be anywhere and that guy has always, always been the hardest to find of all the Gundam Pilots. Sounds like a nice plan, but simple? C'mon Milliardo, even you can't say it's gonna be that easy," Noin retorted, smiling as she gazed into his face.
*Ring, ring* the vid-phone in hsi quarters sounded.
*Ring, ring*
~*~
-Lady Stardancer
Author's note:
Hey all, sorry this took a little while. My computer is really getting on my nerves! I had this one saved too, but after I printed it out I tried to save and it erased the chapter! *held back as she tries to take computer and throw it out the window two stories high* Good thing I printed it out, though. All I had to do was copy it. *sighs in relief*
I kinda had to cut this one a lil' short too, thus meaning the best part(s) of the story will be bumped up a couple of chapters. Sorry, but my dad made me cut this one down, I was almost halfway through this chapter and it was already 23 pgs. long! I cut it down in the best spot, though it really isn't best to cut this chapter down. Oh well, thanks for all my reviews! ^_^ Eight is a start. Special thanks to Tech, they pointed out that I've been spelling Duo's name wrong. (previous =Dou, should be = Duo) If I spell any other names wrong, sorry, appreciate it if you'd tell me.
I have chapter 6 half way done, so it won't take long. Sorry to keep any of waiting, but my agenda's been a lil hectic. Plus I can't spell if my life depended on it now, so this made things a little hardere. *whimpers in frustration* Hey, look forward to all of your reviews! ~*~!!!THANKS!!!~*~