Disclaimer: I do not own the Gundam Pilots or anything else that is
affiliated with them. Pretty much anything you recognize. =) I do own the
plot. The names I use that don't seem familiar, you can give the credit to
my best friends.
Author's Note FOR ANY CONFUSED READERS!:
Okay, I've gotten a couple of reviews who mentioned that Heero seemed a little selfish (you'll find a lot of that in this chapter) and here's the lil' explanation. It should make sense in this chapter and if it doesn't, I'll see if I can't do something about it for any future readers.
Heero's depended on all of his senses for everything, especially during the war and he always felt that it was his duty during the war to protect Relena, right? (nods and smiles) At least later in the war. He feels strongly that he'll only be helpless and a burden to everyone, not being able to do anything and that he'll be useless to Relena and he doesn't want to be a burden to her or make her unhappy. Besides him falling into a deep depression as well that is. And the melodramatic thing, that's just pretty much what I've actually experienced with my own problems and my parents being E.M.T.'s. Life actually gets like this and worse, I've seen it first- hand, unfortunately.
~*~Chapter 12~*~
Strained Friendship
Heero sat in the overstuffed chair, feeling the warm sunlight on his face as he listened to the few winter birds singing outside the terrace. He was staying at the Sanq palace, though most of this was against his will. He didn't even want to leave the hospital, but was practically forced to. Duo and Hilde were also staying there until they could find a new home and Trowa, Wufei, and Quatre were staying until he finally accepted what had happened. Heero accepted it, but that didn't mean he didn't hate himself and life for it. He really didn't care about life anymore or if he was always sulking and in a deep depression. He just lost all hope and constantly thought about ending his misery.
Milliardo walked down the hallway, his steps echoing softly between the walls. It had been near two weeks since the fire and his sister was still being put through torture. Just a few minutes ago, she just broke down and cried for the fourth time that week! Out of the middle of nowhere, she just began to cry. He had to do something, had to make Heero see that he wasn't the only one suffering and that life does go on. Coming upon his door, he found it open and Heero sitting next to the open terrace doors, the winter wind bringing in drifting snow flakes and freezing air. "Heero? Is it all right if I come in?"
Heero didn't want to talk to anyone at this point, he'd sunken too deep into depression to bring himself out of it alone. "It's your palace, isn't it? You can do whatever you want." His tone was blunt and rude, but he really didn't seem to notice.
Milliardo wasn't one for taking disrespect in such a manner, especially since he did nothing wrong. Yet, he didn't know but he knew what Heero was going through and he held his tongue and tried to be patient. "I want to talk to you Heero."
Heero only shrugged off the comment.
Milliardo took a seat on the end of Heero's bed, leaning on his elbows as they rested on his knees. "Heero, you've never been one to give up and stand by and watch others you care about get hurt." He ignored Heero's soft snort. "And yet you've been putting Relena through more torment than you're facing right now. You've got to try, she's done everything to make you happy and she's been by your side through everything. Sometimes I don't even see why, but she doesn't let anyone talk bad about you, even now when you're being..." Milliardo sighed and shook his head. "Look, you aren't the only one going through torment here, but you're so absorbed in your own that you can't see how hurt everyone else is. Duo and Hilde lost their home and near everything else to try and help you besides Duo risking his life to get you out of that house, Quatre's wedding has been postponed, and Trowa and Wufei are putting off a lot of their arrangements to be here to try and help you through this. You've got to.."
Heero cut in at this. "I don't have to do anything, I didn't ask them to stay! Tell them to go do what they need to do, I'm not making any of them stay! And I didn't ask Relena to stick up for me either! I don't even want to be here, so why should you care?! You've hated me since we first met, why would you care now? I would gladly end this torment if I could! Do me a favor and just end everything now, then you won't have to put up with me and have this stupid little "talk", do us all a favor..." His voice flared with hatred and anger, but turned into a grumble in the end of his declaration.
Milliardo looked at him in disgust. "You didn't have to ask them to stay, they're your friends and I'm sorry to ruin your little party, but there are those who care about you and care about what happens to you. We may not have started off on the best foot during the war, but you'd be surprised how people can change. You should know, you came from the cold-hearted killer to falling in love with my little sister! And don't dare try and speak what I feel if you haven't gotten into my mind. I won't lie to you, I was actually worried when I first heard from Hilde and Duo about you, then realized that you were trapped in the flames of what was once called a home. Sure at that time, I was trying to keep Relena from going mad, but it's not hard to believe that I can feel. I'm not as heartless as you might think." Shaking his head, he released a heavy sigh and continued with his voice quieted. "Relena's loved you since the first time she saw you and has risked everything for you. You didn't have to ask her to, she did because she actually cared. And to tell you the truth, I thought it was going to work out between the both of you, and I wouldn't have minded in the least to call you a brother-in-law. Just think about how much you're hurting everyone else, maybe you'll find that their pain is just a little more than yours and they're trying to take it on along with yours. Maybe you'll see that life actually goes on..." Rising, Milliardo turned to leave but stopped when he heard a quiet whisper.
Heero spoke softly, taking in what Milliardo had said but replied with a saddened tone. "You really don't see, do you?"
Milliardo turned. "What is there to see besides the fact that possibly the most faithful and true love you could find is right before you and you push it away?"
Heero opened his eyes, trying desperately to see anything but still to no avail. "Why keep a love that will only torment you further? When you can't have it...." At this, Heero stood and walked back to the bed, stretching his hands out in front of him until he felt the wooden bed post. He was falling deeper and deeper into depression and he was so tired, of everything and of life. Lying down, he listened to Milliardo who was still in the room with him, waiting for his reply.
Milliardo stood in disbelief. "Is that all? You can live without your sight, so many others do it and live regularly, half the time you wouldn't even know they were blind if they didn't tell you. And if you haven't noticed, the rest of us don't care either. You only think that you can't have love, but it's ready and waiting for you, all you have to do is accept it openly." With that, he left Heero to his thoughts. He would be back in a little while to check on him.
~*~
Quatre sat in the main room trying to change everything for the new date of his wedding. He didn't know when it would be and it had taken months to plan; yet his family was more important to him and the rest of the world could wait. "I'm sorry about this Amber, but..."
His fiancee spoke with a knowing reluctance. "I know Quatre, there's no need to explain. You do what you have to and I'll wait here for you."
Quatre nodded, that was one of the reasons he loved Amber, she was always so understanding of him and his friends. "Thank you Amber."
"Don't worry about it sweet-heart. I guess I'd better let you go, you look tired. I love you Quatre." Smiling, Amber prepared to reluctantly disconnect the line.
"I love you too Amber. I'll talk to you later then." And with that, he waited a few more seconds before hanging up. With frustrations and uncertainty clouding his mind, the once youthful pilot who's features were changed by time's hand walked from the silent room and to Relena's study where the others were discussing how to get Heero back.
Trowa jumped up from his seat immediately at hearing a soft knock on the door, realizing that it could either be one of two people at that time, Quatre or against all hope, even Heero. Opening the door, he found it to be Quatre and let in his kind-hearted friend. "Is everything all right Quatre?"
The merciful aristocrat nodded with a small smile. "Amber understands my little problem right now and it's just been put off till later. The wedding that is."
Duo nodded, sorry that Quatre had to put off his plans like this, but they had even tried to persuade him to continue and all he said was that he couldn't without his friends and his best men. Trying to lighten the dreary atmosphere, he thought the perfect time to add. "Well then, looks like I'm gonna have to call up Casandra and cancel your bachelor/stripper party."
Quatre couldn't help but let out a small laugh. "Well thanks Duo, I'm glad you guys were so thoughtful." With a smile, he took a seat near Relena. "Did you find out anything Milliardo?"
Sighing, he nodded. "Only everything that I had expected but didn't want to hear."
Wufei looked at the aging prince in confusion. "What do you mean?"
Relena waited patiently for her brother to continue, but grew irritable at his silence. "What are you trying to tell us brother?"
"I mean that he's depressed because he think that he can't love you Relena." Milliardo stood from his chair and walked over to the window, gazing out at the white snow that slowly began to melt.
"Why not? I'm right here and..."
"No," the weary prince cut his sister off. "He knows that without his eyesight, things are going to be harder for him and you all know how he hates to ask for help and accept it. It seems to me that he thinks he's a burden and that it wouldn't be worth it to be taken care of all the time and put anyone through that. The problem is, he can't see that he doesn't need his sight to live a normal life, he's just got to learn to work without his eyes." Closing his eyes and sighing, he added. "Heero keeps slipping further and further into his own depression and his will to live is fading fast. Unless we can change his mind, it'd just be kinder to put him out of his misery so to speak."
Quatre rose from his seat as well, knowing what the Prince of the Sanq Kingdom said was true. Striding to the door, he reached for the doorknob before he was stopped.
"Where are you going Quatre?" Hilde finally spoke, having been deep in thought but she was not able to come up with anything.
"To see if I can't help change Heero's mind. I'm sorry, but I can't sit here and let my friend slip away without a fight, you guys might come up with something and I know you all have something to do, but I need to talk to Heero..." With a small smile of hope and determination, Quatre left the room and headed straight for Heero's.
Heero was tired but couldn't sleep, his emotions and feelings mixed and confusing. Pushing them all into the back of his mind, the once youthful pilot laid silent, not caring about it any longer. Why should he?
Footsteps fell softly in the long corridor that lead to Heero's room, no other sound disturbing the silence.
Heero sat up irritably, knowing it was someone else trying to come and change his mind. Well it was of no use. When he heard the footsteps falter outside of his door, he only snapped, "What do you want now?"
Quatre was somewhat hurt by Heero's angered tone, but it wasn't something that he hadn't heard before. "I want to help someone who is a very dear friend to me, who is a part of my family."
Heero snorted, his anger still growing steadily inside of him until he just exploded again. "Don't you have more important things to do than to make my life more miserable than it already is?!"
Quatre walked over and stood at the foot of Heero's bed, leaning against the bedpost and looking back at his friend. Heero must have sensed it because he looked in the general direction and didn't lose his focus. "I'm not trying to make your life miserable and I don't have anything that's more important than my family. You're learning whether you realize it or not Heero."
The once Perfect Soldier could feel the eyes of his comrade penetrating his soul with mercy and pity. He didn't want their pity, why didn't they just leave him alone!? "What am I learning? And why can't you people just leave me be?!"
"Heero, you know where I am, or at least close and you're sitting here searching in my direction as you always do when talking with someone. And I can't sit by and idly watch someone dear to me be hurt and take on the pain alone." Quatre stepped slowly over to the other side of the bed, making sure that his footsteps were barely audible. Heero's senses were extremely keen, his eyes that were now useless followed his movements naturally.
"So what?! Don't you even dare pity me Quatre, I don't need it and I don't need any of you! Just go to your wedding and get it over with, be happy, and leave me alone!" Heero's heart told him that he should apologize for everything he'd just said, he also wanted Quatre to stay, but he didn't. He hated Quatre and the others for their pity, but he didn't mind it. It was like two extreme opposites of every emotion and thought filled his mind, it wasn't logically possible by all rights but that's what he was feeling. With a softer and more depressed tone, he spoke. "Please, just let me be in peace Quatre..."
Quatre hesitated a minute, knowing that his friend was fighting himself with what he felt. His words stung, but his bark was worse than his bite, so to speak. Most of the time. "I can't and won't. Nor can I continue with my wedding, especially when one of my best men won't be there." He couldn't choose on of his friends to be the best man, so he had to be different and have four. "Heero, I don't pity you, just your way of thinking. The only thing that's keeping you from being happy is yourself, no one or nothing else. I know you don't believe me, but I speak the truth and I believe that you can be happy. Because I believe in you."
Heero held his tongue, facing the opposite direction from which Quatre now stood. Why were they putting up with him, why couldn't they just respect his wishes and leave him in peace? "Why?" was his only question, softly spoken and unsure.
Chuckling softly, though he didn't mean to sound inconsiderate, he replied. "I thought you would have realized that by now Heero. If I remember right, you told me the same thing before you fought with Zechs in the last battle of the war. The one before Marimaia. You told me about programming Sandrock with the Zero system and I begged you to take it out, I think I even tried to order you to take it out. I'm not sure, I was extremely confused and scared half to death at that time." Again, he couldn't help but look back on the time and laugh. "Yet you told me that I would need it to help the others since you wouldn't be there, you had another fight to finish once and for all. You left us with destroying Libra too. I begged you over and over to take it out so that I wouldn't use it, I nearly killed both you and Trowa the first time I used it and I'm all too grateful for you and Trowa living through that. But you refused, you told me that it was the only way to win against all of the mobile dolls and that I was the only one who could use it. You only smiled and said that you knew I was strong enough to use it and help to win the war once and for all, and to keep my friends alive. You believed in me when I couldn't even think about believing in myself, and your confidence showed me that if I wanted to, I could be strong enough to overcome anything. And I've believed in you and trusted you ever since." Sighing, he knew that the battle between Heero's emotions was still raging. "The others and I can teach you all you need to live without sight, but only you can determine if you wish to learn it. Only you can determine when you're going to let yourself be happy."
Heero listened to Quatre, recalling what he said in the last battle of the war. Maybe.... maybe he could learn to live without his sight, if the others believed in him like that, then they must have good reason. "I-I don't know..."
"I'm going to stick by your side the entire time and I can help you Heero, we all can so that you can finally be happy as you so greatly deserve."
Heero was so confused, he didn't know if he should set himself up with false hopes again or if he should just hate life as he was doing. Bringing his hands up to his face, he hid his uncertainty, confusion, and slight fear in shame. "..Will you try?"
Quatre couldn't stop himself, a huge grin spread over his lips. "If you'll let me."
Without knowing what to do, he nodded. "Thanks Quatre."
~*~
Duo rose from his seat, growing impatient as well. Quatre had been gone for what seemed like forever and the others had all finished helping Relena and Milliardo with a few peace agreements that had been untouched since the Prince and Princess of the Sanq Kingdom, along with Ms Noin, had traveled to Duo and Hilde's home two weeks earlier. "You know guys, this really bites. Heero's in major depression right now, Quatre's still gone, and we're stuck here!" He only looked at Hilde as she tried to calm him.
"Settle down Duo. Besides Relena, Quatre has the best chance of getting Heero to change his mind, of getting to that guy. We just need to wait and be patient." Wufei moved closer to the window, feeling the slight breeze cool his warm features through the small space between the glass and the sill.
"Ugh.... I feel so helpless! This isn't cool in the slightest..." Duo sat back donw and looked at Hilde, holding her hand in his left as he was careful of his right.
A soft knocking at the door set everyone on edge, but Relena was the first to recover and walked up to the door. She's expected to find Quatre in defeat, most likely, but when she grabbed for the door and opened it, she was surprised by far. "... uh...Heero... come in, please, I'm glad to see you up and about." A giant smile lit her face as she received an acknowledging nod from Quatre.
Heero could sense Relena near him, in the area before him but he wasn't sure exactly where she was. Stretching forth his hand in an uncertain motion, he reached for her but he couldn't feel her, she was further than he thought. A gentle hand taking is told him that she still cared, he let his hand be led to her face where he graced his fingers across her soft cheek. Maybe he could learn to live without his sight, if he tried hard enough and wanted to learn to live again. "Relena?" He could hear the others in the room with her, their voices silent as all eyes were turned to him.
"I'm here Heero," she spoke with a smile, joy filling her.
"I-I want to learn to live again... to be with you..." Heero kept his voice just above a whisper, hoping she would accept him as he was now. All he heard a surprised and joyed "Oh Heero..." and then felt Relena's arms wrapped around his shoulders, her body pressed against his in a warm embrace. With only a small hesitation, he wrapped his arms around her and smiled softly, knowing she had approved.
The others watched in shock, all except Quatre who looked approvingly at the two. Things were starting to look up for them. At least for now.....
Author's Note:
Sorry this took so long, last days of high school and my teachers won't give me a break!!!!!! ~screams~ I'm cool now..~giggles~ Anyway, you thought things look up now? They go downhill from here, and it's a rollercoaster ride from this point out, that's all I'm sayin....... ~evil grin~ I'm almost done with the 5th chapter of "Just Let Me Grow Up" for those GW fic readers of mine who're hooked on it. I admit, you've got to read chapter 6, I cut down the time they had again, I WAS GETTING BORED AND RUNNING OUT OF IDEAS WITH THE WAIT!!!!!! Sorz, anywho, it gets goooooooodddd! Have fun! You'll hate me at the end of it though, just a prewarning and I am welcome to all those who will call me evil, I'll deserve it..... ~nods and smiles~ It's coming, I'm working, you'll read before I go on summer vacation, I have to work and help earn some money to help my mom and dad and I've got band camp and everything, I'm trying! Oh, if you like POV's , then I have one up in Trowa's Point of View, it's call 'Tis My Battle Now. It's sort of depressing, but shows a good message, like most of my stories. AND. . . . to those who are reading Mercy's Sacrifice, I wasn't planning something, but I love you style of thinking and I'm changin' it a lil'. ~evil grin~ An almost done, 9th grade, freshmen has in mind...... ~smirks~ WOOHOO! I'm almost a Sophmore, no more cracks on being a "stupid freshman"! Sorry, going into my personal life, but I was booted up from stupid freshman, to freshmen, to smart freshmen, to stupid freshmen just because I like to laugh! A sophmore I know is sooooo funny, anyway, Adios and look for the next chapter! ~waves~
Author's Note FOR ANY CONFUSED READERS!:
Okay, I've gotten a couple of reviews who mentioned that Heero seemed a little selfish (you'll find a lot of that in this chapter) and here's the lil' explanation. It should make sense in this chapter and if it doesn't, I'll see if I can't do something about it for any future readers.
Heero's depended on all of his senses for everything, especially during the war and he always felt that it was his duty during the war to protect Relena, right? (nods and smiles) At least later in the war. He feels strongly that he'll only be helpless and a burden to everyone, not being able to do anything and that he'll be useless to Relena and he doesn't want to be a burden to her or make her unhappy. Besides him falling into a deep depression as well that is. And the melodramatic thing, that's just pretty much what I've actually experienced with my own problems and my parents being E.M.T.'s. Life actually gets like this and worse, I've seen it first- hand, unfortunately.
~*~Chapter 12~*~
Strained Friendship
Heero sat in the overstuffed chair, feeling the warm sunlight on his face as he listened to the few winter birds singing outside the terrace. He was staying at the Sanq palace, though most of this was against his will. He didn't even want to leave the hospital, but was practically forced to. Duo and Hilde were also staying there until they could find a new home and Trowa, Wufei, and Quatre were staying until he finally accepted what had happened. Heero accepted it, but that didn't mean he didn't hate himself and life for it. He really didn't care about life anymore or if he was always sulking and in a deep depression. He just lost all hope and constantly thought about ending his misery.
Milliardo walked down the hallway, his steps echoing softly between the walls. It had been near two weeks since the fire and his sister was still being put through torture. Just a few minutes ago, she just broke down and cried for the fourth time that week! Out of the middle of nowhere, she just began to cry. He had to do something, had to make Heero see that he wasn't the only one suffering and that life does go on. Coming upon his door, he found it open and Heero sitting next to the open terrace doors, the winter wind bringing in drifting snow flakes and freezing air. "Heero? Is it all right if I come in?"
Heero didn't want to talk to anyone at this point, he'd sunken too deep into depression to bring himself out of it alone. "It's your palace, isn't it? You can do whatever you want." His tone was blunt and rude, but he really didn't seem to notice.
Milliardo wasn't one for taking disrespect in such a manner, especially since he did nothing wrong. Yet, he didn't know but he knew what Heero was going through and he held his tongue and tried to be patient. "I want to talk to you Heero."
Heero only shrugged off the comment.
Milliardo took a seat on the end of Heero's bed, leaning on his elbows as they rested on his knees. "Heero, you've never been one to give up and stand by and watch others you care about get hurt." He ignored Heero's soft snort. "And yet you've been putting Relena through more torment than you're facing right now. You've got to try, she's done everything to make you happy and she's been by your side through everything. Sometimes I don't even see why, but she doesn't let anyone talk bad about you, even now when you're being..." Milliardo sighed and shook his head. "Look, you aren't the only one going through torment here, but you're so absorbed in your own that you can't see how hurt everyone else is. Duo and Hilde lost their home and near everything else to try and help you besides Duo risking his life to get you out of that house, Quatre's wedding has been postponed, and Trowa and Wufei are putting off a lot of their arrangements to be here to try and help you through this. You've got to.."
Heero cut in at this. "I don't have to do anything, I didn't ask them to stay! Tell them to go do what they need to do, I'm not making any of them stay! And I didn't ask Relena to stick up for me either! I don't even want to be here, so why should you care?! You've hated me since we first met, why would you care now? I would gladly end this torment if I could! Do me a favor and just end everything now, then you won't have to put up with me and have this stupid little "talk", do us all a favor..." His voice flared with hatred and anger, but turned into a grumble in the end of his declaration.
Milliardo looked at him in disgust. "You didn't have to ask them to stay, they're your friends and I'm sorry to ruin your little party, but there are those who care about you and care about what happens to you. We may not have started off on the best foot during the war, but you'd be surprised how people can change. You should know, you came from the cold-hearted killer to falling in love with my little sister! And don't dare try and speak what I feel if you haven't gotten into my mind. I won't lie to you, I was actually worried when I first heard from Hilde and Duo about you, then realized that you were trapped in the flames of what was once called a home. Sure at that time, I was trying to keep Relena from going mad, but it's not hard to believe that I can feel. I'm not as heartless as you might think." Shaking his head, he released a heavy sigh and continued with his voice quieted. "Relena's loved you since the first time she saw you and has risked everything for you. You didn't have to ask her to, she did because she actually cared. And to tell you the truth, I thought it was going to work out between the both of you, and I wouldn't have minded in the least to call you a brother-in-law. Just think about how much you're hurting everyone else, maybe you'll find that their pain is just a little more than yours and they're trying to take it on along with yours. Maybe you'll see that life actually goes on..." Rising, Milliardo turned to leave but stopped when he heard a quiet whisper.
Heero spoke softly, taking in what Milliardo had said but replied with a saddened tone. "You really don't see, do you?"
Milliardo turned. "What is there to see besides the fact that possibly the most faithful and true love you could find is right before you and you push it away?"
Heero opened his eyes, trying desperately to see anything but still to no avail. "Why keep a love that will only torment you further? When you can't have it...." At this, Heero stood and walked back to the bed, stretching his hands out in front of him until he felt the wooden bed post. He was falling deeper and deeper into depression and he was so tired, of everything and of life. Lying down, he listened to Milliardo who was still in the room with him, waiting for his reply.
Milliardo stood in disbelief. "Is that all? You can live without your sight, so many others do it and live regularly, half the time you wouldn't even know they were blind if they didn't tell you. And if you haven't noticed, the rest of us don't care either. You only think that you can't have love, but it's ready and waiting for you, all you have to do is accept it openly." With that, he left Heero to his thoughts. He would be back in a little while to check on him.
~*~
Quatre sat in the main room trying to change everything for the new date of his wedding. He didn't know when it would be and it had taken months to plan; yet his family was more important to him and the rest of the world could wait. "I'm sorry about this Amber, but..."
His fiancee spoke with a knowing reluctance. "I know Quatre, there's no need to explain. You do what you have to and I'll wait here for you."
Quatre nodded, that was one of the reasons he loved Amber, she was always so understanding of him and his friends. "Thank you Amber."
"Don't worry about it sweet-heart. I guess I'd better let you go, you look tired. I love you Quatre." Smiling, Amber prepared to reluctantly disconnect the line.
"I love you too Amber. I'll talk to you later then." And with that, he waited a few more seconds before hanging up. With frustrations and uncertainty clouding his mind, the once youthful pilot who's features were changed by time's hand walked from the silent room and to Relena's study where the others were discussing how to get Heero back.
Trowa jumped up from his seat immediately at hearing a soft knock on the door, realizing that it could either be one of two people at that time, Quatre or against all hope, even Heero. Opening the door, he found it to be Quatre and let in his kind-hearted friend. "Is everything all right Quatre?"
The merciful aristocrat nodded with a small smile. "Amber understands my little problem right now and it's just been put off till later. The wedding that is."
Duo nodded, sorry that Quatre had to put off his plans like this, but they had even tried to persuade him to continue and all he said was that he couldn't without his friends and his best men. Trying to lighten the dreary atmosphere, he thought the perfect time to add. "Well then, looks like I'm gonna have to call up Casandra and cancel your bachelor/stripper party."
Quatre couldn't help but let out a small laugh. "Well thanks Duo, I'm glad you guys were so thoughtful." With a smile, he took a seat near Relena. "Did you find out anything Milliardo?"
Sighing, he nodded. "Only everything that I had expected but didn't want to hear."
Wufei looked at the aging prince in confusion. "What do you mean?"
Relena waited patiently for her brother to continue, but grew irritable at his silence. "What are you trying to tell us brother?"
"I mean that he's depressed because he think that he can't love you Relena." Milliardo stood from his chair and walked over to the window, gazing out at the white snow that slowly began to melt.
"Why not? I'm right here and..."
"No," the weary prince cut his sister off. "He knows that without his eyesight, things are going to be harder for him and you all know how he hates to ask for help and accept it. It seems to me that he thinks he's a burden and that it wouldn't be worth it to be taken care of all the time and put anyone through that. The problem is, he can't see that he doesn't need his sight to live a normal life, he's just got to learn to work without his eyes." Closing his eyes and sighing, he added. "Heero keeps slipping further and further into his own depression and his will to live is fading fast. Unless we can change his mind, it'd just be kinder to put him out of his misery so to speak."
Quatre rose from his seat as well, knowing what the Prince of the Sanq Kingdom said was true. Striding to the door, he reached for the doorknob before he was stopped.
"Where are you going Quatre?" Hilde finally spoke, having been deep in thought but she was not able to come up with anything.
"To see if I can't help change Heero's mind. I'm sorry, but I can't sit here and let my friend slip away without a fight, you guys might come up with something and I know you all have something to do, but I need to talk to Heero..." With a small smile of hope and determination, Quatre left the room and headed straight for Heero's.
Heero was tired but couldn't sleep, his emotions and feelings mixed and confusing. Pushing them all into the back of his mind, the once youthful pilot laid silent, not caring about it any longer. Why should he?
Footsteps fell softly in the long corridor that lead to Heero's room, no other sound disturbing the silence.
Heero sat up irritably, knowing it was someone else trying to come and change his mind. Well it was of no use. When he heard the footsteps falter outside of his door, he only snapped, "What do you want now?"
Quatre was somewhat hurt by Heero's angered tone, but it wasn't something that he hadn't heard before. "I want to help someone who is a very dear friend to me, who is a part of my family."
Heero snorted, his anger still growing steadily inside of him until he just exploded again. "Don't you have more important things to do than to make my life more miserable than it already is?!"
Quatre walked over and stood at the foot of Heero's bed, leaning against the bedpost and looking back at his friend. Heero must have sensed it because he looked in the general direction and didn't lose his focus. "I'm not trying to make your life miserable and I don't have anything that's more important than my family. You're learning whether you realize it or not Heero."
The once Perfect Soldier could feel the eyes of his comrade penetrating his soul with mercy and pity. He didn't want their pity, why didn't they just leave him alone!? "What am I learning? And why can't you people just leave me be?!"
"Heero, you know where I am, or at least close and you're sitting here searching in my direction as you always do when talking with someone. And I can't sit by and idly watch someone dear to me be hurt and take on the pain alone." Quatre stepped slowly over to the other side of the bed, making sure that his footsteps were barely audible. Heero's senses were extremely keen, his eyes that were now useless followed his movements naturally.
"So what?! Don't you even dare pity me Quatre, I don't need it and I don't need any of you! Just go to your wedding and get it over with, be happy, and leave me alone!" Heero's heart told him that he should apologize for everything he'd just said, he also wanted Quatre to stay, but he didn't. He hated Quatre and the others for their pity, but he didn't mind it. It was like two extreme opposites of every emotion and thought filled his mind, it wasn't logically possible by all rights but that's what he was feeling. With a softer and more depressed tone, he spoke. "Please, just let me be in peace Quatre..."
Quatre hesitated a minute, knowing that his friend was fighting himself with what he felt. His words stung, but his bark was worse than his bite, so to speak. Most of the time. "I can't and won't. Nor can I continue with my wedding, especially when one of my best men won't be there." He couldn't choose on of his friends to be the best man, so he had to be different and have four. "Heero, I don't pity you, just your way of thinking. The only thing that's keeping you from being happy is yourself, no one or nothing else. I know you don't believe me, but I speak the truth and I believe that you can be happy. Because I believe in you."
Heero held his tongue, facing the opposite direction from which Quatre now stood. Why were they putting up with him, why couldn't they just respect his wishes and leave him in peace? "Why?" was his only question, softly spoken and unsure.
Chuckling softly, though he didn't mean to sound inconsiderate, he replied. "I thought you would have realized that by now Heero. If I remember right, you told me the same thing before you fought with Zechs in the last battle of the war. The one before Marimaia. You told me about programming Sandrock with the Zero system and I begged you to take it out, I think I even tried to order you to take it out. I'm not sure, I was extremely confused and scared half to death at that time." Again, he couldn't help but look back on the time and laugh. "Yet you told me that I would need it to help the others since you wouldn't be there, you had another fight to finish once and for all. You left us with destroying Libra too. I begged you over and over to take it out so that I wouldn't use it, I nearly killed both you and Trowa the first time I used it and I'm all too grateful for you and Trowa living through that. But you refused, you told me that it was the only way to win against all of the mobile dolls and that I was the only one who could use it. You only smiled and said that you knew I was strong enough to use it and help to win the war once and for all, and to keep my friends alive. You believed in me when I couldn't even think about believing in myself, and your confidence showed me that if I wanted to, I could be strong enough to overcome anything. And I've believed in you and trusted you ever since." Sighing, he knew that the battle between Heero's emotions was still raging. "The others and I can teach you all you need to live without sight, but only you can determine if you wish to learn it. Only you can determine when you're going to let yourself be happy."
Heero listened to Quatre, recalling what he said in the last battle of the war. Maybe.... maybe he could learn to live without his sight, if the others believed in him like that, then they must have good reason. "I-I don't know..."
"I'm going to stick by your side the entire time and I can help you Heero, we all can so that you can finally be happy as you so greatly deserve."
Heero was so confused, he didn't know if he should set himself up with false hopes again or if he should just hate life as he was doing. Bringing his hands up to his face, he hid his uncertainty, confusion, and slight fear in shame. "..Will you try?"
Quatre couldn't stop himself, a huge grin spread over his lips. "If you'll let me."
Without knowing what to do, he nodded. "Thanks Quatre."
~*~
Duo rose from his seat, growing impatient as well. Quatre had been gone for what seemed like forever and the others had all finished helping Relena and Milliardo with a few peace agreements that had been untouched since the Prince and Princess of the Sanq Kingdom, along with Ms Noin, had traveled to Duo and Hilde's home two weeks earlier. "You know guys, this really bites. Heero's in major depression right now, Quatre's still gone, and we're stuck here!" He only looked at Hilde as she tried to calm him.
"Settle down Duo. Besides Relena, Quatre has the best chance of getting Heero to change his mind, of getting to that guy. We just need to wait and be patient." Wufei moved closer to the window, feeling the slight breeze cool his warm features through the small space between the glass and the sill.
"Ugh.... I feel so helpless! This isn't cool in the slightest..." Duo sat back donw and looked at Hilde, holding her hand in his left as he was careful of his right.
A soft knocking at the door set everyone on edge, but Relena was the first to recover and walked up to the door. She's expected to find Quatre in defeat, most likely, but when she grabbed for the door and opened it, she was surprised by far. "... uh...Heero... come in, please, I'm glad to see you up and about." A giant smile lit her face as she received an acknowledging nod from Quatre.
Heero could sense Relena near him, in the area before him but he wasn't sure exactly where she was. Stretching forth his hand in an uncertain motion, he reached for her but he couldn't feel her, she was further than he thought. A gentle hand taking is told him that she still cared, he let his hand be led to her face where he graced his fingers across her soft cheek. Maybe he could learn to live without his sight, if he tried hard enough and wanted to learn to live again. "Relena?" He could hear the others in the room with her, their voices silent as all eyes were turned to him.
"I'm here Heero," she spoke with a smile, joy filling her.
"I-I want to learn to live again... to be with you..." Heero kept his voice just above a whisper, hoping she would accept him as he was now. All he heard a surprised and joyed "Oh Heero..." and then felt Relena's arms wrapped around his shoulders, her body pressed against his in a warm embrace. With only a small hesitation, he wrapped his arms around her and smiled softly, knowing she had approved.
The others watched in shock, all except Quatre who looked approvingly at the two. Things were starting to look up for them. At least for now.....
Author's Note:
Sorry this took so long, last days of high school and my teachers won't give me a break!!!!!! ~screams~ I'm cool now..~giggles~ Anyway, you thought things look up now? They go downhill from here, and it's a rollercoaster ride from this point out, that's all I'm sayin....... ~evil grin~ I'm almost done with the 5th chapter of "Just Let Me Grow Up" for those GW fic readers of mine who're hooked on it. I admit, you've got to read chapter 6, I cut down the time they had again, I WAS GETTING BORED AND RUNNING OUT OF IDEAS WITH THE WAIT!!!!!! Sorz, anywho, it gets goooooooodddd! Have fun! You'll hate me at the end of it though, just a prewarning and I am welcome to all those who will call me evil, I'll deserve it..... ~nods and smiles~ It's coming, I'm working, you'll read before I go on summer vacation, I have to work and help earn some money to help my mom and dad and I've got band camp and everything, I'm trying! Oh, if you like POV's , then I have one up in Trowa's Point of View, it's call 'Tis My Battle Now. It's sort of depressing, but shows a good message, like most of my stories. AND. . . . to those who are reading Mercy's Sacrifice, I wasn't planning something, but I love you style of thinking and I'm changin' it a lil'. ~evil grin~ An almost done, 9th grade, freshmen has in mind...... ~smirks~ WOOHOO! I'm almost a Sophmore, no more cracks on being a "stupid freshman"! Sorry, going into my personal life, but I was booted up from stupid freshman, to freshmen, to smart freshmen, to stupid freshmen just because I like to laugh! A sophmore I know is sooooo funny, anyway, Adios and look for the next chapter! ~waves~