Byleth rubbed his head as he finally finished his diary. He had a lot more time to work on it since coming to this academy. No need to cook his own food or sharpen his own blade. He had someone else to do that for him.

The down side to that was he had no idea what to do with his own spare time. The students here had friends. Schedules. Ways to hold their spare time.

He couldn't do any of that. He wasn't sure he could even step foot outside.

He didn't enjoy walking about outside before. Too many eyes on him like some kind of commodity.

Now apparently word had gotten around about his… behavior underground.

Now he had to wait three more weeks in this unnatural den before his monthly mission. Which he still did not know.

The more immediate problem was his hunger. And that required more mingling with people his own age. The only thing that could made him tremble even a little bit.

"Oh, look at you! The mighty Ashen Demon cowering from a bunch of younglings! Have you no shame?"

Meanwhile the only thing that could annoy him even a little bit sat on his bed and stared him down with a smug smirk. It should have looked silly on the small green-haired girl. But somehow it seemed fitting.

"I am not cowering from anyone. I just don't have anything to say to anyone right now and would rather not start a conversation I have nothing to contribute to."

The girl laughed.

"Quite an excuse. Bet you've been waiting to use that for some time, huh?"

"It's no excuse. I don't have anything to offer these kids."

"I doubt they see it that way. Considering the looks they throw your way. Bet you're the talk of the school."

"I don't care whether I am or not. I'm here to do a job. As long as I do that, I don't care what they think of me."

"Sure! Tell yourself whatever you need to."

Byleth rose off his chair and went for the door.

"Likewise, I have nothing to say to you right now and would rather not start a conversation with you when I have nothing to say."

Oh, so you're just going to leave me? How do you plan to win over a girl with that kind of attitude? Oh wait? Do you like boys? If so, continue!"

I'll talk to you when I get back Sothis. I can't wait."

"When you get back? I'm in your head! I'm with you everywhere you go!"

"How could I forget?"

….

Perhaps Sothis was onto something. It did seem a tad humiliating for a mercenary of his skill to sneak his way to the cafeteria. On the other hand, it proved an effective test of his skills. He would occasionally practice this as a youth in their camp. He stopped when he snuck into one tent and found two adults…. Wrestling.

He'd developed quite the sticky fingers during this time. Reports of lost items rose up exponentially after a night of subterfuge.

Speaking of lost items…. What a nice pair of glasses by his feet. And no one to collect them. Finders keepers.

And another lost item! An envelope. And another lost item! A book. And ano-

In a rare lack of alertness, he failed to appropriately watch his surroundings and bumped into someone. Both toppled over. He silently thanked the goddess his father wasn't around to witness that.

"Oh… You leave the room, and this is what happens Bernie. You run into…."

Her eyes widened as she realized who lay on his behind before her.

"Oh goddess! Please… uh… Sir! Please don't kill me! I beg you! I'll do whatever you ask! Here! You can have my… Whatever! You can have my whatever! Just don't kill me! Please!"

Byleth remained ashen-faced while the purple-haired girl continued babbling out incoherent nonsense. He recognized her as one of the Black eagles. The students who had aided him and the underground during the mercenary attack.

No doubt she had bore witness to his… outburst which had probably done a number on her already timid persona.

"Please. I beg you…. Show some mercy on- "

"Bernadetta! This is good progress! Usually, I have to drag you out of your room to attend our meetings!"

A man with long hair stood above them with a hand outstretched to help the frightened girl back to her feet. Byleth meanwhile had to rise up on his own.

"Aelfric! Thank the goddess! Please help me! I beg you!"

"From what? This fine young gentleman? Was he offering his hand in proposal?"

"No! Please, let's just go!"

"Calm yourself Bernadetta. That's rude. You can't just knock someone to the ground and then leave him there. Please apologize."

"I'm sorry! So sorry! I promise I'll never do it again! Please don't kill me!"

The man sighed but smiled at Byleth.

"I'm sorry. She's a good girl but a little shy."

Anyone else would have laughed at the word "little."

"Say young man. You aren't busy right now are you? Would you like spend some tie with us? Attend a little gathering of students?"

"No. Thank you. I need to go eat."

Byleth quickly made a movement for the cafeteria. The man's next utterance however stopped him cold.

"You really do look like your mother, you know?"

He slowly turned his head around. Careful not to display his dumb shock.

"What do you mean…. My mother?"

"Sitri. Your mother Sitri."

Bernadetta looked like she wanted to turn and bolt. But she was too nervous to leave her "savior's" side. Almost out of fear the Ashen Demon would hunt her down.

"My mother's name was… Sitri?"

"Yes. Didn't you know? Didn't Jeralt tell you?"

The man raised his eyebrow at Byleth's silence.

"He didn't, did he? You had no idea?"

"I…. You knew my mother?"

The man smiled again. A genuine smile as far as he could tell. One must be cautious, however.

"I did. And I'd be happy to tell you all about her. If you'd like to accompany me and Bernadetta. We'd love to have you."

Bernadetta's puppy dog eyes and pleading glance towards the man suggested otherwise.

"I wasn't lying. I am hungry though."

"Not a problem! We have food at these gatherings. Food made by the attendees! I'm sure Bernadetta would love to make something with you!"

It was awfully tempting to smirk at Bernadetta's obvious struggle not to faint.

"Hmm. How many attend these events?"

"Not too many. Only a few with something to share. Certainly, less chaotic than the cafeteria."

"I… Very well. I'll do it."

"Excellent! This way then. And please my boy. Call me Aelfric. I've hoped to speak with you for some time."

Byleth took his place walking right behind Bernadetta. He could see the girl shaking and trembling up a storm.

….

"Welcome! Thank you all for attending! I realize many would rather spend their day off doing something more… fun shall we say. But a large part of school is providing aid and emotional well-being. I therefore thank all of you for caring for yourselves enough to attend! Now I believe it's Bernadetta's turn to prepare for us, correct? And to be more inclusive, why don't we have our newest member help her out, hmm? You all right with that my boy?"

Bernadetta seemed on the verge of a heart attack from Aelfric's constant attempts to hook her up with Byleth. He didn't take to the idea himself. He didn't like to watch after weak fighters. The battlefield was difficult enough without babysitting.

Still duty was part of the job. So here he was.

He pulled a knife off of the counter and pointed it at Bernadetta.

"So, what are we cutting?"

Too late he realized his mistake as the girl fell to the ground begging for mercy.

"Huh," Aelfric said quite nonchalantly. "Bernadetta, why don't we let someone else take over for now."

"I volunteer! I can do it!"

An orange-haired girl ran up next to him clearly eager to take Bernadetta's place. Until she recognized her cooking partner.

"You! Why are you here? Not content spreading misery?"

"Annette. I invited him. We're all here to give each other a chance."

The girl huffed but relented.

"Fine. I know this particular dish. It's a great one! Just follow my lead! Let me get the pot out!"

The girl rushed so fast she actually slipped and hit her head on the side of the sink. Byleth stood there a few seconds with his trademark blank expression.

"Oh… Damn it Annie… I'm fine by the way! No need to ask!"

"Good. Get the pot then."

The girl stared at him with shock for a second but nodded and rose with determination to grab the pot. Immediately after pulling it out, she dropped it on her foot.

"Ow! Come on! Why does the world have it out for me?"

Byleth was having a hard time determining if this was a dream or not.

"Annie, why don't you let me manage this?"

"No! I can do it! I can!"

"Why don't you both help?"

"Good idea… Sir. Come on Annie."

"Fine. Why don't… You get the pot Mercie? And I'll- "

"Follow my lead," Byleth commanded.

Wordlessly, he pointed out specific ingredients and moved her hand to pick them and cut them up. It was… strange. To say the least.

Eventually, they finished the dish. Grilled Herring with sliced turnips.

"Well done," Aelfric complimented with a proud smile upon his face. "Why don't we all assemble in a circle?"

The students did just that. The girl "Mercie" sat on one side of his. On the other sat a green-haired boy. From the black eagles he recalled. Across from him sat Bernadetta. Naturally, she quivered under his gaze.

"Thank you all again for attending. Our first gathering last week had some… bumps I think. But I still believe it's important to open up with each other about our weaknesses and build bonds. Tough times lie ahead for you all after all. At the end of this month, you are all scheduled to embark on your first real assignment. A real battle. With real death. Where you will al have to spill blood for the first time."

The students in the circle tensed up. Byleth found this puzzling. They were attending a school of battle tactics. What did they expect?

"Yes," the girl Mercie spoke up. "That has been on our mind. I know it's inevitable. That it's all part of the oath we swore when we attended. But even so, doing it is another thing entirely."

"With any luck, I'll be killed out there," a blue-haired girl said. "I don't wish to be a burden to anyone anymore."

"Marianne don't say that" a boy with glasses said. Ignatz if Byleth recalled correctly. "The first kill will make you feel like shit. But if you have a purpose and a reason for it, you can find a way to go on!."

Everyone stared at Ignatz somewhat perplexed.

"Sorry. I know that sounded weird. What I meant to say is that it doesn't have to be the end of the world."

"Have you killed before Ignatz," Mercie asked.

"….. Yes. I've killed several doing knight apprenticeship for Lorenz's house."

"What was your first kill," Annette asked a little too excitedly. Ignatz fidgeted with visible discomfort.

"It was a bandit. I tried to talk him down. But he was desperate. Talked about his family. How he had nothing to lose." He took a deep breath before continuing.

"I panicked. Kept trying to talk him down as he approached. When he was right on top of me, I whipped my sword out and he ran into it. He….."

He shuddered and stopped.

"It gives you something to think about," Aelfric spoke up. "These aren't mindless beasts you'll be fighting, but human beings. With lives and desires of their own. When you kill you deprive them of that."

"That uh… Doesn't make me feel better sir," Annette said.

"It's not meant to. This is not something you should do with pride, I believe. Loathe as I am to say it, I believe the most important thing you should learn from this is the true awfulness of battle. That first kill will live with you for all your life. There's no avoiding that."

The students in the room looked down at their hands as if imagining what they would look like covered red. Annette meanwhile stared at Byleth next to her.

"You were an assassin or something before coming here weren't you? What was your first kill like?"

Byleth looked Aelfric's way to see if he approved where this was going, but the man of course smiled back.

"Go ahead my boy. We're all here to open up."

"It was a rapist. He tried to force himself on me, so I cut his genitals off and shoved them down his throat."

Aelfric's expression showed he regretted permitting that. The students near him scooted their chairs away. Bernadetta looked like she was going to faint.

"You know," Aelfric said. "I think that's a good place to stop."

….

"That was… Well, it was honest."

Byleth stared back waiting for the man to make an excuse to leave. He was used to it. However, most of those people displayed fear. This one showed only concern.

"I'm sure you're expecting me to ask you never to return to one of these sessions again. But no. I would very much like you to attend everyone when possible."

Byleth actually raised an eyebrow.

"What?"

"Finally! I got something out of you! See? It can be done! It just takes time."

"Why do you care? I'm not a student. Do you expect me to believe this is all out of the goodness of your heart?"

"Well… No. I suppose that would sound dishonest wouldn't it? I want to help you out of respect for your mother."

Byleth took a deep breath.

"You mean Sitri? Who you somehow knew?"

"Yes. We grew up together as best friends in this very school. She and I remained so throughout her entire life. Even after she paired up with Sir Jeralt. Right up until her death at childbirth."

The only sign of conflict on Byleth's face was his trembling clenched fist.

"My mother gave birth…. Here…. And died…. From it?"

"You didn't know? Jeralt didn't tell you?"

He stared back.

"He really didn't did he? Surely you must have asked. Why didn't he say anything?"

Byleth sat back onto the chair behind him. He suddenly found it hard to stand. Unusual for him.

"Here. I can see this is a lot for you. Take some water. Drink."

He complied without complaint. Like a puppet on his master's strings.

"I'm sorry. This probably isn't the best way to tell you."

"No. I… Thanks."

Aelfric stared as if confirming his honesty. But eventually nodded in response.

"You're welcome. It's the main point of such gatherings you know. To get us to open up."

Byleth didn't respond. Aelfric let him retain silence for another minute.

"You know I don't just work to build trust between students up here. I also try to do the same between the surface and abyss."

Byleth's eyes met him.

"I understand you've met them? Curious bunch, but they're good people overall. They're like you really. People lost with nowhere to go. Surrounded by people they feel they can't connect to. They deserve someone to speak out for them."

Byleth continued with the silent treatment.

"From what I've heard, you made a good impression on them."

"I made a good impression on one. A little girl who wants me to make her a professional killer."

Aelfric chuckled.

"Yes. Little Fleche. Just a lost soul trying to find her place in the world. Like you. My point is this. I think it would do you good to get to know them. Find ways to help each other. It would help you as well."

Byleth rose to his feet.

"Thank you for your… attention. But I think I've had enough psychology for one day."

"Of course. One step at a time after all. Slow and steady. But I do hope you consider returning back to our next assemblage."

Byleth moved for the door without response.

"You look so much like her you know."

He paused a brief moment before resuming his course. Albeit faster.

Outside his room, h found Jeralt waiting.

"Hey kid. Didn't see you for breakfast. Where've you been?"

"Learning about Sitri."

His father's eyes widened.

"Where did you hear that?"

"Was I born here? Did my mother die here?"

"I… Kid listen I- "

He did not in fact listen. He walked straight into his room.

"Byleth? Byleth wait! Let me explain!"

He did not listen. He simply fell onto his bed and buried his head into the pillow.

A hand placed itself onto the back of his head.

"You feel lost."

"It turns out I don't know myself at all."

Sothis smiled sadly.

"Yet another thing we share in common it seems."