A/N: Back to my darling little royal dweebs
Enjoy~
'Dear Princess Kendra,
King Eric told me I have to write to you every week about some girl you know? I'm sorry this is late, I tried to get this to you sooner, I really did! It took me forever, but I found her! Please don't be angry with me, the king is already mad enough that I spilled soup on one of his tapestries. I've been trying to get the stain out for three days now it's insane!
Karen is apparently her name? I hope that's the right one?! King Eric told me I'm supposed to get facts from her about her brother that only she would know. But, she doesn't know me at all yet, so she's really shy and she's not telling me anything outside of what I can only guess is basic information?! She told me his name was Kenneth, but everyone called him Kenny. Does that count? If not let me know and I'll try harder but she doesn't really trust me yet, but I tried so hard to get more information out of her, but I think she has to warm up to me first? Maybe? I don't know! I'm trying, Your Highness, I really am! She's really nice, works for a nice old lady who made me coffee it was pretty good. I think it had nutmeg in it, really it was great and she gave me four cups and Karen just laughed at how I drank it so fast and I thought she was making fun of me, but I think she's just being polite? She might hate me. Strong possibility.
I'll keep trying to get more out of her and be more punctual, Princess, I promise!
-Tweek
PS: Can you tell Craig to send me an update on you guys? The king kinda won't let me write to him I don't think. If not though, that's fine and sorry to ask!'
Kenny's lips curled into a smile, thumb stroking over the parchment in his slim fingers. He let out a long breath of relief through his nose. Karen was safe. Tweek was still fucking insane, but Karen was safe. And no doubt the jittery blonde would keep her that way. He was loyal almost to a fault once he became close with anyone. He'd nervously wave his sword in front of an enemy and scream nonsense, but it always made for the perfect distraction for his friends to make their escape if need-be.
He gently folded the note back up and tucked it away into the top drawer of his maple desk, letting his fingertips linger on the material as he slid it back into place. He sighed, grabbing the baby blue scarf from beside him and wrapping it back around his mouth. Kenny could rest easy for right now. The day was beginning and Kendra had her duties to attend to.
A sharp knock rapped on her door and she blinked in shock, glancing over as it pushed open slightly. "Uh, Princess?" Kyle's timid voice called. She smiled fondly under her scarf. "I don't know how to do this?" he said, standing outside and blinking questionably at Stan who shrugged. "Uh, hit something once for me to come in or twice for no?" he winced.
Kendra snorted, hitting her desktop once. Kyle sighed in relief and pushed open the door, looking at the princess and scratching at his hair awkwardly. "Hi," he said.
She waved, getting to her feet and heading over to stand in front of him, watching him expectantly. She folded her hands gracefully in front of her white and gold trimmed skirt, cocking her head at the younger.
"So, that meeting with the Canada faction is about to happen," he drawled. "We have both kings here...Um...So...If you still wanna..." he looked up at her and cringed, hoping she could fill in the blanks on her own.
She patted his soft curls and silently laughed, nodding at him. Kyle watched her blue eyes light with interest and let out a long breath of respite.
He nodded, "Good. I had someone set up some parchment for you...In case you want to comment on something or ask a question and I could write a response. Or something," he cleared his throat. She nodded excitedly, beyond elated with the prospect. Getting to actually be involved with royal duties, with making decisions for a kingdom was something she'd always wanted. Sitting there looking pretty and nothing else under Cartman's thumb had never boded well for her, this was her opportunity to finally be able to learn the ropes of a kingdom, even if the Drows were different from the humans. A part of her wondered if that could be played to her advantage, not risking a possible clash of interests between customs.
Kyle smiled at her enthusiasm and jerked his head back, "Well, come on then." He pivoted on his heel, beginning to lead her out into the hall. He held up his hand to stop her in front of a handmaiden smiling gently at the princess and the prince blushed. "So, since this is a dignitary meeting, we have to wear fucking symbols of authority or whatever," he waved his hands dramatically, nodding to the servant. She opened a deep box resting in her arm and Kyle reached in, grabbing a wooden, knotted tiara from the confines. Kendra's eyes gleamed with interest at the small bouts of ivy twirling along, small orange flowers sprinkled about to add splashes of color. "Here," he tried thrusting it towards her before the handmaiden cleared her throat.
"Your Highness, it's customary for you to put the tiara on her head for the first time," she reminded him gently. "A token of sharing your kingdom with your beloved."
Green eyes snapped over towards her and he gave her an angry smile through the red beaming throughout his cheeks at the term. "Gee. Thank you," he said through his teeth. Kendra's shoulders shook in hysterics and Kyle looked at her with a pout. He grimaced, looking at the tiara in his hands up to her head. He'd have to stand on his fucking toes for this. The princess read his concerns right off, giving him a gentle smile and slowly dropping onto her knees, looking up at him expectantly. He gulped, shakily reaching forward and placing the tiara into her hair, the soft blonde locks brushing against his fingers, each touch sending a spiked shudder through his nerves.
He took his hands back and shoved them stiffly to his side, Stan watching him and shaking his head subtly, watching the princess rising back onto her feet in a graceful swoop. The handmaiden directed the box towards her, "And you do the same for him, Your Highness," she said kindly.
Kendra blinked in surprise, Kyle raising his brow at faint color taking over her own cheeks. She couldn't help but be frozen for a moment, the concept of equality a foreign mystery to her. She shook herself out of it and swallowed down the thoughts, reaching in and grasping Kyle's crown, cocking her head at the redhead's narrowed eyes.
"What the fuck. Where's my old one?" he asked, eyeing the matching orange flowers cresting along the base, similar ivy winding up each jutting branch.
"You are betrothed, Prince Kyle. When that happens, you and your beloved are given matching coronals," she explained. "A visible symbol of your union."
Kyle blinked, that word just hitting him all over again and looking up to see Kendra looking just as embarrassed as himself. He sighed inwardly in relief. Well. At least he wasn't the only one not entirely comfortable with these damn customs. Kendra straightened herself up, delicately moving to slip the crown onto Kyle's head, following it down around. The tip of her finger brushed against the back of his ear, the prince doing his best to contain his shudder. Stan watched, biting the inside of his cheek hard enough to experience the thick taste of copper worming through, tainting his mouth. Kyle always turned to putty with that spot; Only he knew that. This foreigner had no right to so casually brush against it, even if it was a mere accident.
The royals looked at each other as Kendra slowly took her hands back in silence, ignorant to Stan's bristling from not a foot away from them. Kyle cleared his throat. "Well," he said, trying to force down the shaky nature of his voice. "Shall we?" Kendra smiled again and nodded, Kyle turning and waiting for her to step to his side before setting off to lead her and Stan down to the conference room.
Kendra once more raised her brow slightly in surprise, unable to wrap her mind around walking side-by-side with the elf. She'd half expected things to be the way Cartman had told her royal life was like for an 'outsider'. She'd always be in the back, there for the support of the 'true' monarch and merely a figurehead. But Kyle seemed willing to involve her. She didn't know why it bewildered her as it did. After all, his mother did not come from Larnion soil, but she certainly seemed to be the domineering factor within the realm. She let out a silent sigh of relief with a tinge of exhaustion. She was nervous. Beyond nervous. The Drows of Canada would be the first dignitaries she'd meet as someone involved with their ways. She had to play this in a respectable manner, had to earn favor. She gulped, knowing that was much easier said than done.
She bit her lip as they approached a group of four in the corridor outside of the conference room, Sheila and Gerald talking to two tall, lanky figures. She shut her eyes and took another deep breath, flinching at a touch on her arm. She looked down to see Kyle quickly snapping his hand back towards himself, blinking nervously from her reaction. "Sorry," he murmured. She shook her head and patted his shoulder, Kyle reading with ease that it was just her nerves. He brought the three of them to a stop and looked up at her with a reassuring smile. "You'll be fine," he promised. "All you have to do is observe if you want to, all right? Just breathe. You'll be more bored than nervous, I guarantee it." She smiled shakily and nodded, Kyle just barely patting her arm with the tips of his fingers before continuing to guide them down the way.
Sheila noticed them approaching, a wide, proud smile on her plump face. "There you are," she cooed. She eyed the couple's matching crowns and couldn't help but feel such giddiness swirling within her.
The Canadian kings turned, looking back at the approaching royals and their eyes widening in surprise.
"King Terrance. King Phillip," Kyle smiled, offering them a respectful bow, Kendra following suit with a curtsey. "Wonderful to see you again."
"Holy shit it's true," Phillip gaped.
The two of them cocked their brows as Terrance stepped towards them, looking between the both of them. "Holy shit," he repeated. "Kyle, what the hell are you doing?" he demanded.
Kendra gulped nervously, wanting nothing more than to run and hide in her room. This was what she feared. She was fucked. Kyle looked at his mother starting to approach and held up his hand to stop her, the queen blinking and cocking her head. He gave her a knowing look and she nodded in understanding, stepping back beside Gerald, the both of them weaving their fingers with one another's worriedly.
The prince cleared his throat and straightened himself out. "My Kings, this is Princess Kendra of Kupa Keep," he introduced her, the blonde giving a small, embarrassed nod.
"We know," Phillip crossed his arms and raised his brow suspiciously. "That doesn't explain the crowns," he waved towards their matching headwear.
"We're engaged," he said smoothly, inherent authority starting to replace his humiliation and hatred of the fact. "Our union will bring Zaron together and, with any luck, expand the notion that our species can coincide in peace." He pressed his fingers together in front of him, staying steady. "We can only hope that our union will also expand the waves of trade for not only Larnion and Kupa Keep, but beyond our borders as well. After all, who makes better wine than Kupa Keep? Aside from your French district of course," he smiled gently. The kings looked at each other and shared a smug smirk. "They grow grapes not available to be produced within your land's climate," he continued. "Perhaps something can be managed as to where they send you grapes and you send them back the finest wines you can make with such fruit. Maybe along the way establish a long and prosperous relationship in which you both come out of the deal with more money in your pockets and more wine in your stomachs."
Sheila and Gerald smiled brilliantly at their son, sharing a look and laughing silently with one another. Kendra looked down at the young redhead in astonishment, unable to believe the boy stammering with knocking on her door could shift on so quick a dime to being such a smooth talking dignitary. She smiled at him fondly. Larnion was in good hands.
Phillip snorted and shook his head at the prince's little speech. "You always think things through, dontcha, Kyle?"
"Well, I try, Your Majesty," he replied suavely.
Terrance flicked his arm, "Always the little know-it-all."
"Well someone has to be. Lord knows you Canadians need all the persuasion of sharing you can get if you're anything like Ike and how he refuses to so much as share air with me," he smirked. The two of them burst out laughing and Kendra's shoulders slunk in relief, feeling the tension leaving the corridor with their guffawing.
"He always has been a Canadian through and through," Terrance snorted, pushing his short black hair off his forehead. "You Larnions aren't gonna get him as easily as you may think," he teased.
Kyle shrugged dismissively, "Please. All I have to do is wave some poutine in his face and his instincts have him whining and claiming he'll do anything if he can get some."
They laughed again and Kyle looked at his parents, who nodded approvingly, Sheila's green eyes glistening with gasconade for her boy. The king and queen shared yet another look, Gerald nodding his approval immediately and Sheila clearing her throat as the kings settled. The group looked at her and she smiled. "My Kings, would you permit this meeting to be...a bit of an experiment?"
Phillip cocked his head, "What? We gonna actually make it short this time?" he snorted.
"How would you feel if Kyle and Kendra took our places?" she asked politely. The young couples' eyes widened in shock. "Kyle knows your customs just as well as ourselves and Kendra needs to learn. If you feel uncomfortable at any time, Gerald and I can step back in," she assured them.
The kings looked at each other and down to Kyle. "Ya ain't gonna jerk us around, are you, Kyle?" Terrance raised his brow with a smirk.
He gulped down his nerves, voice falling back into its flattering tone. "King Terrance, please. You know how I value our countries' friendship..." he smirked back, "Besides, I find these talks just as 'enthralling' as yourselves. Why waste precious time playing hardball?"
Phillip chuckled, glancing back at Sheila. "Well, he definitely has your conversationalist skills. Willing to bet he has the Jersian hardballing in there, too," he winked.
"Well, how about you find out?" she smiled sweetly.
The blonde king shrugged. "Fine by us. We'll call if Kyle starts trying to overthrow our country," he smirked, leading Terrance into the conference room.
Kyle waited until they were out of earshot before grabbing his mother's arm and ripping her out of view of the doorway. "Are you crazy?!" he hissed quietly, losing every ounce of elegance in his nerves. "Ma, I haven't ever done this! And Kendra doesn't know anything about-"
"Hush," she said, pushing on his shoulder. He groaned and rolled his eyes, dropping to one knee and pouting. She smirked, reaching up and pushing on Kendra's shoulder as well. She blinked in confusion, following Kyle's example, the both of them staring up at her expectantly. "Kyle, you can do this," she promised. "All you have to do is convince them they need more soil. That's it. You made a new trading prospect just thinking on your feet! You'll do wonderfully, and your father and I will be right out here if you need us." She paused, looking at Kendra and smiling lovingly. "I'm sorry for how they behaved, Princess. Rest assured, Kyle will be working nonstop to dismantle such rash assumptions."
"Uh, how about you be working on that, too?" Kyle raised his brow dryly. "You remember that this was your idea, right?"
"Hush," she repeated. She gestured her hand up, the both of them rising to their feet. "Go on," the queen urged.
Kyle looked up at Kendra, both of them sharing a nervous glance and taking a simultaneous breath. They straightened themselves out, walking to the room's door, Stan following behind. Kyle allowed the blonde to go in front of him, looking once more at his parents worriedly. They smiled reassuringly and he gulped, following the princess into the room, leaving Stan behind to close the door as he made way to sit and be on alert. The ranger pouted as he sat in a chair off to the side, wondering why Craig didn't have to attend meetings constantly like he did. He shook his head to himself. Who was he kidding? It was more time with Kyle, he never minded. Besides, watching him interact with other dignitaries was always a treat.
The prince and princess took their seats across from the kings and Kyle cleared his throat. "So," he said smoothly. "How goes the production within Canada?"
"Fairly well," Phillip answered. "Wheat and barley rates are up pretty drastically from last year."
He nodded, "And are any other crops making any kind of development?"
"Pretty flat, actually," Terrance shrugged awkwardly, looking over at the blonde sitting straight and attentively. "So, human, huh?" he asked. Kendra nodded and he set his lips, letting out a hum of thought. "You ever been to Canada?" She shook her head, adding a regretful tone to her expression.
Phillip cocked his brow, "The fuck's wrong with you? You humans usually don't stop talking."
Kyle narrowed his eyes in the slightest. "She's mute."
"Must be nice," Terrance cackled. "Getting a human to shut up is like trying to get a Beavertonian into the desert."
Kyle growled under his breath at the two of them laughing with each other, looking to see Kendra staring at the table in silence. Kyle grabbed one of her parchments and a quill, passing her a note. 'Don't take it personally. These two are fucking assholes through and through regardless of who you are.' Kendra looked at him and offered a weak smile for the kind words, Kyle's chest tightening at the embarrassment in her eyes.
She jotted him a return, 'It's fine. I can't expect automatic equality. Progression takes time I guess. Right?' Kyle read the note, looking back at her tired smile and blinking. A spark of inspiration shot through him with her word. Progression. There it was. Kendra caught the driven look and raised her brow, Kyle patting her arm. A silent signal: He had this; Watch and learn.
He cleared his throat, "Jealous?" he finally asked the two of them. They glanced over with cocked heads and he shrugged. "I mean, with the way you two ramble on, I highly doubt either of you can get a word in edgewise," he taunted.
Phillip snorted, "You don't know the half of it," he elbowed his fellow king. Terrance pushed him back and they chortled again.
Kyle leaned back and shrugged, crossing his arms, "Besides, that's something that sets Larnion apart from Canada."
They paused, looking at him confusedly. "Whaddya mean?" Terrance questioned.
"We're progressive," he said smoothly. "Our land and culture are always expanding, it's how we've stayed the steadfast kingdom that we are."
Phillip nodded, "Can't argue with that." He jerked his head over to Kendra. "Though taking her as a wife may be setting trends a bit far, Kyle."
"Oh?" he challenged, grabbing her hand for show atop the table and linking their fingers together, the both of them resisting the urge to turn red at the contact. "Or are you just behind the times?" he asked smoothly.
Terrance chuckled, "Kyle, come on. She's mute, so she can't yell at you if you say how you really feel." He shrugged, "Besides, it's an arranged marriage. Doesn't count if it's forced."
"Who says it's forced?" he cocked his brow. "Whether or not she came into our kingdom by matter of choice isn't important. What is important is I feel that her presence will bring great prosperity to us. And you know how my intuition always sings of the truth," he reminded them smartly. They glanced at each other and twisted their lips. He had a point. Kyle first meeting them when he was only a child of six had resulted in him predicting a mutiny by a grace of Ontario, Duke Scott the Dick. They'd apprehended the man and brought him to trial, finding his plans against the monarchy and forging a steadfast alliance with the Larnions and the kings becoming more than fond of the redhead across from them.
"Once again, can't argue with that," Phillip scratched through his blonde hair.
"Kendra will bring the harvest of good will between species," he squeezed her hand for emphasis. "Perhaps you should consider bringing your own good harvests to your people," he hinted.
Terrance smirked, "Clever. But our crops are doing fine."
"Your production in everything but wheat and barley is down, Your Majesties. I've read the reports," he said firmly, watching the kings cringe in embarrassment. "You need to up your rates or your economy will fall," he warned.
"Our economy will fall because the other elven economies are down," Terrance argued. "Your own included," he gestured towards the prince, who stayed steady. "We can't change that."
He raised his brow, "Right. You can't. But I can and am," he held up his and Kendra's linked fingers and shook them a bit. "Myself and Kendra are forging the path, Your Majesties; The path to opening up the human realms to indulge in the assets that only elves can provide them. Think of it: The humans which reside in your own country indulging in the succulent food that only you can grow with our soil. Wine produced from the fruits that only you can make. The humans of Jersey will indulge in the barley that you make for their ale, and we all know how they tend to overindulge in that," he gestured to himself, getting another small chuckle out of the kings. "My Kings, you have come to Larnion time and again for advice, and you agreed yourselves, we are the trendsetters. Let us set you for a bright future. Get yourselves ahead of the game as Princess Kendra and I prepare to announce our union and become the bridge between our species'. That way when trades start, you'll be right on target and ready to export at a moment's notice."
The kings blinked, looking at each other slowly before back to the young couple. "It's a hell of a risk," Phillip commented. "If shit falls through with you two, then Canada is screwed."
"No need to worry about that," he assured them. "This marriage is happening."
"Hm," Terrance mused, putting his chin in his palm and raising his brow. "And what if you find your true soulmate, Kyle? You'll die and Larnion will most likely fall."
Kendra cocked her brow and looked down as Kyle tensed around her fingers. The prince recovered quickly and took a steadying breath, "Perhaps Kendra is my soulmate and I just don't know it," he said smoothly. "Either way, what matters is our people. Elves and humans," he gestured between himself and the princess with his free hand. "My Kings, I implore you, don't tread water. Move forward with Larnion. Realize that only through progression can the Drows of Canada wish to make any headway."
The Canadians looked at each other again and sighed, nodding subtly to one another and chuckling. "Well," Phillip said amusedly. "You certainly made your point quicker than either of your parents ever have, Kyle."
Terrance winked at him, "You'll be a great king one day. Hopefully she can keep up with you," he joked, pointing at the princess.
"She's a great listener, she'll catch on to our ways faster than even you can, I'm sure," he teased.
Terrance snorted, "Very well. Send your parents back in and we'll draw up a contract. I just hope that you don't disappoint, Your Highness."
Kyle got to his feet, bringing Kendra up with him. "Wouldn't dream of disappointing you, Your Majesties," he said sweetly, bowing and Kendra curtseying. The kings nodded and waved them away, the two of them walking still hand in hand out the door with Stan following close behind, staring daggers at their conjoined palms.
They stepped into the corridor and Sheila and Gerald looked from the window bench they were seated upon, finding the prince and princess' hands still linked and blinking in surprise. "Did they get upset with you?" Sheila asked worriedly.
Kyle shook his head, "They're waiting for you to draw up a contract. They're in."
"Bubbeleh!" she exclaimed proudly, grasping his face and leaning him down to kiss his forehead. "I'm so proud of you!" She looked up at Kendra, grabbing her cheeks and bending her forward to do the same. "Both of you, I'm so proud," she repeated. Kendra gulped and blushed at the unfamiliar praise, feeling Kyle's hand tighten around her own and taking some comfort in the shared embarrassment.
Gerald patted both their shoulders, brown eyes beaming. "Excellent job, you two. Why don't you get some lunch and we'll meet up later?" he suggested, heading in with Sheila back to the room and shutting the door quietly behind them.
The two of them watched after them before looking at each other and smiling. The sudden realization of their fingers still intertwined slammed into both of them like boulders, eyes widening as they slowly unhooked themselves and awkwardly continued to stare. "Uh..." Kyle started. "Good...good work," he nodded curtly, gulping nervously.
She cocked her brow and pointed at him and to the door before pointing at herself and shaking her head.
Kyle's face dropped, "You did help," he protested. She and Stan both jerked back subtly in shock at his immediate understanding. "What you said got me rolling," he winced, not noticing the reaction. "We keep that shit up and we'll have all the lands either adoring us or avoiding us for being so brutal," he smirked crookedly.
Kendra stayed still for a few moments before her face broke into a wide smile, eyes gleaming with glee at the connotation. She nodded briskly and laughed, pushing some fallen strands of hair back under her new tiara. She pointed to the both of them yet again, making an eating gesture and Kyle smiled.
"Yeah, let's get some food," he agreed. He walked up beside her and looked back at Stan. "You hungry, Stan?"
"Sure," he grumbled. Kyle blinked at his attitude before shaking his head and sighing, setting off with Kendra towards the dining hall. Stan's little mood could wait until they were alone later, not really wanting to potentially start a war in front of the princess. He flickered his eyes up towards her, blinking as he met her staring right back at him. They both chuckled awkwardly, straightening themselves back to watch down the hallway side-by-side, meeting another stare down the way into their future.
A/N: Fuckin' dorks makin' trades n' shit I'm so proud of them.
Thanks for R&Ring!