*Disclaimer: Once again, I don't own the turtles, or Splinter, or April, or
anyone else. I do own Kelen, Lauren, and Trent. The poem, Facing Me, is
also mine.
After the initial shock wore off of Kelen waking up, hugs and kisses were exchanged. Everyone was glad she was okay, or at least awake. Trent told her what had happened during her thankfully short coma and how they found her. But then it was Kelen's turn. "Kelen, what did your dad do exactly?" Donny questioned. Kelen was silent as she thought how to describe the brutally monstrous scene that had taken place. "Kelen, you can tell us later if you want to get some rest," Leo offered. Kelen shook her head. She really wasn't strong enough to tell them now, her mind kept drifting from past to present. Sometimes she forgot what she was talking about altogether. And when she tried to talk at all, her words were slightly slurred and she would lose her breath. "No Kelen, I think you should. Just get some rest; we'll be in the other room. Call us if you need something," Donny insisted. Then everyone reluctantly left the room with Donny's instruction. Kelen grabbed onto Raph's arm as he tried to leave. "Please don't leave me," she said quietly. As weak as she was, the fear of being alone was evident in her voice. "You'll be fine," Raph said. "We're just in the other room, nothin's gonna happen," he assured her. But she wouldn't let go of his arm. He sighed and decided she would feel better if he stayed, and so would he. "Just let me tell Don," he said. She didn't really want him to leave at all, but let go of his arm.
Raph walked out into the living room where everyone had settled. "Hey Donny," he called walking out, "Kelen's real freaked out about being alone, I'm just gonna sit with her till she falls asleep." Donny eyed him suspiciously. "What?" Raph asked annoyed. "Just let her actually sleep," he said. Raph rolled his eyes and walked back to Kelen. "Well, I'm going to bed," Mikey announced. "Good idea," Leo agreed. "Trent, why don't you sleep in Raph's room if he's going to be with Kelen?" he suggested. "Then I'll go explain things to Master Splinter," Donny offered. But the three of them had already started towards their rooms. Mikey turned and came back though. "Anything changes," he said. "I'll come get you," Don promised. Then Mikey nodded and headed off to bed. "You okay on the couch?" Donny asked Lauren. "Uh-huh," she said yawning. He kissed her. "I'll be right back," he said. She nodded. He went to go tell Splinter and Lauren laid back on the couch.
Donny softly knocked on the door to Splinter's room and entered. He sat quietly in his chair, his eyes closed, deep in thought. "Yes, my son?" he asked. "Kelen woke up. We'll take turns watching her tonight to make sure nothing happens," he said. "That is good. I trust you will take care of her properly?" he half asked. "Yes, Master Splinter," he assured. He nodded. "I will go and check on her soon," he said, "Why don't you get Lauren settled on the couch." Donny bowed. "Yes, Master Splinter," he said. Then he left his Master's room. He went to check on Kelen before he went to bed. "How are you feeling?" he asked entering the room. She groaned weakly. "I figured about much. We'll have April bring you something tomorrow. I don't think a pain killer would hurt too much," he said, examining her wounds. "Anything especially hurt?" he asked her. "Everything," she moaned. Don sighed. Her wounds would heal much quicker if she was asleep and wasn't moving. "I'll check everything again in the morning. Don't even try to walk, though. Getting up would enough to knock you out," he told her firmly. "As long as you're here, I'm gettin' coffee," Raph said, pulling himself from the chair. Once he was gone, Donny sat down on the end of Kelen's bed. "Can he be in here?" Donny whispered gesturing towards the door Raph had gone through. Kelen nodded. "If he does something you don't like, tell him," Donny instructed. He knew that Raph wouldn't understand why Kelen didn't want to be handled too much right now. She nodded again. "Get some sleep," Donny said getting up. On the way back to the living room, he grabbed a blanket for Lauren. He thought of how weird it was to have his girlfriend spending the night on his couch. He walked into the living room where he had left Lauren, but she had already fallen asleep. He walked over to the couch and covered her up to her chin. Then he softly kissed her lips and told her goodnight.
Raph entered Kelen's room and flopped down into the chair beside Kelen's bed. He reached out to touch her arm, but she flinched when he did. "What's wrong, did I hurt ya?" he asked. "No," she said, "I've just been…touched a lot lately." "They were just happy you were awake," Raph said, referring to the group that had just been in there. "That's not what I mean," she said shyly. He thought for a minute. Then it hit him…her father. Her father had touched her. He became furious. "What did he do?" he asked harshly. Kelen was taken back a bit by his tone. He realized it, but couldn't change his tone. He was too mad. "What did he do?" he asked again. Kelen was quiet. She didn't want to share all the terrible details of what her father had done. Not yet, anyway. "Not now," she told him. "Kelen," he said. "Not now," she said again. He realized she wasn't going to say anything right now and gave it up. She reached out for his hand. He took it. "Please try to understand," she pleaded. "I am," he said, "I just…don't." She managed a weak smile. "I know, I don't expect you too," she said. She squeezed his hand and then let go. She turned on her side so she was facing him. "Go to sleep. Don said you should try to get a lot a rest," he instructed. "Promise you won't leave?" she asked. "Promise," he said. She closed her eyes and yawned. He felt a little uneasy about her eyes closing again. 'Just in case,' he thought as an excuse to tell her. "Kel?" he asked. "Hmmm" she responded. "I love you," he said quickly. She opened her eyes. "I love you, too," she told him. He leaned over and kissed her gently on the lips. It felt good to Kelen to hear those words. She didn't get to hear them very often. Raph didn't know what to do next. He sat back down and when he looked over at her, her eyes were closed again. He waited until he was sure she was asleep before he relaxed. Donny came in again. "Why don't you let me keep an eye on her first? I just want to make sure her fever doesn't come back. In the meantime, you should really get some sleep," Donny said this more as a statement than a question. "Just for a couple hours. I promised I wouldn't leave," Raph said. Donny nodded. Raph was going to his room when Donny remembered something. "Raph, Trent's sleeping in your room," he said bluntly. "And Lauren's on the couch. Just sleep in my room for a couple hours," he said. Raph exhaled deeply. He went to Donny's room and tried to sleep, but his mind kept drifting to Kelen.
Donny gently examined a bad slice wound that cut from her shoulder to her chest. Her elbow was fractured and her shin was broken in at least two places. A deeper slice wound was in her upper left thigh. He knew her father could have easily killed her but didn't. He had tortured her and looked like he had raped her. So either her father had a glimmer of fondness for her and couldn't kill her, or he was trying to get to something else first. Like them, perhaps. They knew and could make it known to others what he had done to her. Donny's guess was that he was using Kelen to get to them and then he was going to kill them all, or at least try.
But he needed to examine the wounds thoroughly right now. He couldn't do that while she was awake because she was in a fragile state. She had been raped by her own father and probably didn't have the strength to remove herself mentally from the situation if he had hurt her first. He had made a cast for her elbow and shin, but they weren't permanent and he would probably have to make new ones soon. Kelen struggled in her sleep. Donny wondered she was dreaming about and decided it was best to wake her so she would stop moving. He shook her gently, but she flinched when he touched her and remained asleep. He applied a small amount of pressure to her shoulder, but she shrugged off his hand and struggled more. 'Great," he thought, "She's probably reliving the whole situation." He went to get Raph. He could stay with her now and maybe he could get her to wake up. Donny walked briskly out of the room and shut the door. The door clicked and Kelen groggily opened her eyes. A blurry face stood above her. When it came into focus, she tried to scream, but a hand clasped over her mouth. "Now, staying alone again, are we?" her father asked. Kelen gathered strength and pushed herself off the bed. As soon as her feet touched the ground, the room tilted. It went uphill in some parts and downhill in others. Her head spun and it felt like a huge metal clamp squished all her insides into a tiny ball. She felt her body burn under the strength it took to stand. She closed her eyes and when she opened them, she was facing her father. She screamed loudly. She tried to back up, but tripped and fell. She closed her eyes, ready to embrace the pain surely coming, but instead was caught by Raphael.
Her scream had everyone rushed into the room. "What are you doing up?" Donny asked amazed she had been trying to stand. Kelen turned and fell into Raph. He hugged her tightly. "He was here," she whispered. "Who?" Leo asked. "My dad," she responded. "Kelen you just had a bad dream," Trent said. "But I wasn't sleeping," she told them in a whisper. All of a sudden, a crash was heard in the abandoned subway. Raph sat Kelen down on the bed, and they all went to see what it was, not realizing they had again left Kelen alone.
When they exited the car, the bottom rung of the ladder was broken off on one side and swinging. "You think her dad really was here?" Mikey asked. "I'd say that sounds about right," it was a menacing voice coming from the car Kelen was staying in. A heavily built, tall man came from the car. Held by the wrist, he was pulling Kelen with him. And in the other hand he had a cold, steel gun flush against her neck. "Don't move," he growled to everyone. No one moved. He smiled and chuckled. But it was not at all friendly. "Beautiful, isn't she?" he asked no one in particular. He ran his hand down the edge of her body and moved it to the inside of her thigh. Raph felt anger slowly seeping through his body and knew he couldn't ignore it much longer. Not when a man, another man, was touching her like that. Not when she looked so scared.. Kelen looked at the side of her father's face through fearful eyes. He looked much older than she remembered. And she realized she was older too.
Once there were days,
When berries were so much sweeter.
Cherries so much redder,
Watermelon seeds seemed neater.
Days were filled with cowboys.
Imagination.
Things that we were not.
And all these years,
My pain, My tears,
This is what I've sought.
One day she was gone,
And for the first time I was scared.
Days of being a child,
Days filled with smiles,
Seemed to not be there.
You used me,
You abused me,
And now it's time to pay.
Mercy and forgiveness,
Are not standing in my way.
Then I was a child,
But now those days are memories,
Now you're going to have to face,
The woman I've grown to be.
Kelen did something she had longed to do for years. She forced all her pain into her leg and thrust it out in front of her father. She swept his feet out from under him and prayed he wouldn't have time to pull the trigger. He fell to the ground. He shot at her and pierced her shoulder. She stumbled to her knees. But she didn't let that stop her. She kicked the gun out of his hands. It flew up into the air and Kelen caught it with her good arm. She pointed the gun at the man who had been pointing it at her for too long. "Kelen," he said calmly and sweetly, "You don't want to do that. Remember when we would go to the park and I'd push you on the swings. Huh? Remember how I'd always let you have a sip of my coffee in the morning when you were little? How could you do something like this after all those good memories we've shared?" he asked her in a fatherly way. They saw what he was trying to do. They looked at Kelen. Her expression remained cold. "No," she growled. "No I don't remember!" she started yelling. "Wanna know what I do remember? I remember when you blamed me for my mother's death. I remember when you took away all the security I've ever known. I remember when you took control over my body; the one thing I thought was mine! I remember the notes, the pain, and all those years of torture! I remember those. As for the things you did to be my father? As far as I'm concerned, you were never my father in the first place." The barrel of the gun clicked as a bullet was loaded. But her father was up and out at a sprinting pace before she could pull it. Raph immediately went after him. 'Good,' he thought, 'This guy has no idea where he's going.' He followed close at his heels and turned a long corridor he had seen the man enter. But when he turned, there was no one there. Raph was confused. Hadn't he just come down here? He drew a pair of sai from his belt. He took but one step before the man had wrapped him in a headlock from behind. Raph felt the arms tighten around his neck. He went to get free, but had forgotten that the man might still be armed. And this man was. The last thing he felt was a sharp pain in his shoulder before he went black and fell to the ground.
The darkness faded. Raph painfully opened his eyes. He was having a hard time remembering what had happened. It was quiet and he was in April's apartment. He strained to open his eyes more and saw Kelen sitting beside him. Her eyes were closed, but tears were streaming down her face. He gently tapped her shoulder. As soon as he did, a shooting pain entered his arm. He remembered. She turned her head sharply toward him. "Oh my God, I'm so glad you're awake," she said through tears. She jumped up and held onto him like he might disappear. He gently rubbed her back with the opposite arm. One of her arms was in a sling and her skin was pale. She had dark circles around her eyes. She looked worried. "Whahpned?" he tried to ask her what had happened, but he wasn't strong enough. "Raph," she said gently. He was hearing fine and could tell by her tone that she didn't have good news. "Raph, I'm leaving." His eyes shot open even more. "What?" he said perfectly. She started crying again. "Raph, I'm going to California. It's too dangerous to be here. But I promise I'll be back," she told him. "When?" he asked, his speech returning at the thought he might lose her. "I don't know," she said. "Raphael, I love you. I always will. No matter what you do you can't make me stop. And I promise I'm not breaking up with you. But I could be gone anywhere from a week to a year. My dad is trying to kill me now more than ever. Until we figure out what to do with him and where to find him, I can't be here. But I'll be back, I promise I'll be back. I couldn't stay away from you long," she told him. He knew she was trying to convince herself as well. He knew she wasn't coming back. He wiped a tear from her cheek. "When are you going?" he asked her. "Now," she whispered. He looked at her bags in the room. "So this is goodbye?" he asked in disbelief. He was having trouble taking this all in. "No, it's see you later," she corrected. "Kelen, I can't let you go. I can't lose you," he felt tears coming but pushed them away. "Raph I'm going now," she said standing. "No. No you're not. You can not leave me," he told her firmly. She reached down and kissed him tenderly. He held onto her hand. She slung a backpack onto her shoulder. She started to back up. He wouldn't let go. "Raph," she said crying, "Please don't make this any harder than already is." He tightened his grip. "Raph," she begged hysterically. "Don't go," he begged her back. She pulled her hand away. He struggled to reach for it and finally got it again. She looked deeply into his eyes. "Goodbye," she whispered. She turned her head away and started to walk out of the room. "See you later," he corrected. She paused, but didn't say anything. He felt her hand slowly slip away and held onto it for as long as he could. Her last finger slid from his grasp. She paused at the doorway, back turned. "Kelen, don't go!" he made a final plea. Trying to ignore him, she slowly walked out of the room, the door closed behind her. "Kelen," he whispered softly, letting his voice trail off. Then he let the tears come.
Kelen walked, crying uncontrollably, into the living room. Lauren was in Donny's arms. She was crying too. Mikey walked over to Kelen. "I'm gonna miss you," he said. She took him in a hug with her one good arm. "I'll be back, you'll see," she promised. She kissed his cheek. He moved away wiping a tear and Leo was behind him. "Raph's up," she said. "I heard," he told her. "I think he hates me," she told him, tears blurring her vision. He hugged her tightly. "Thanks Leo," she whispered. "What for?" he asked. "I don't know. Just, thanks," she told him. "You're welcome," he told her. He kissed her forehead. "Take care of him," she said, meaning Raph. "I will," he promised. "I love him," she said. "I know," he replied. "You have my number and address, if I'm gone for over six months, please come get me," she told him, not giving him a choice. "Okay," he promised. Lauren was still under one of Donny's arms. He took Kelen under the other. "Take care of yourself," he told her. She kissed him and slipped away from his arm. "Come on Lauren, we gotta go," she stated sadly. Lauren went away from Donny and hugged Mike and Leo. "Tell Raph bye for me," she said, knowing if she went in there he'd beg her to make Kelen stay. They nodded. Donny held her tightly and kissed her lips. She wanted to be there forever, in his arms. But she pulled away from him crying. Kelen walked away and opened the front door; April was waiting in the car for them. "Bye Kelen," Mikey said. "Later," she said. She kept reminding herself of it. That she'd see them later. Lauren followed behind her on legs that felt detached from her body. The front shut with a depressing click and the three of them started to cry softly upon hearing it. Leo wiped his eyes, tried to gain control over himself, and went to see Raph.
Raph was laying perfectly still. The room was dark and quiet. "How are you feeling?" he asked. He didn't answer. Leo thought he might be asleep, but he wasn't. "Raph?" he asked again. "She's gone, isn't she?" Raph asked suddenly. Leo sighed and took a deep breath. "Yes Raph," he told him, "She's gone." Raph was silent. "You hungry?" Leo asked. Silence. Leo knew when to leave Raph alone, and this was one of those times. He shook his head and left.
Raph stared up at the ceiling. He studied all the different swirls of plaster and paint. It was around 2:00 a.m. Kelen had been gone for hours now. His brothers had all come in to check on him. The only one he acknowledged though was Donny. Don was more upset than Raph could ever remember seeing him. They had exchanged a couple words and Donny had re- bandaged his arm, and then he had gone. Just then, April walked into the guest bedroom he was staying in. "How are you doing?" she asked him quietly. Again, he didn't say anything. April sat on the end of the bed. "Raph," she said, "Kelen really didn't want to go today. I practically had to push her on the plane." Raph looked over at her. "Then why did she? I mean, if she didn't want to, then why?" he asked. "Because Raph, she's in danger. And by staying here she was putting you in danger. What she really should be worried about is how to avoid her father so she doesn't get killed. What she is worried about is you. She thinks you hate her," April told him. "She does?" he asked surprised. April nodded. "Think about it," she said. Then she left.
Raph thought about it for all of thirty seconds. Ignoring the time and not wondering what time it was in California, he picked up the phone. Leo had left her number and address in here when he had been in. When Raph sat up, the room spun. He didn't care. He quickly punched in the numbers on the slip of paper. He hoped April wouldn't mind a long distance call on her phone bill. The phone rang a couple times. Then a voice picked up the phone. "Hello?" it said yawning. It was Kelen. "Kel?" he asked. There was a long pause. Had he dialed the right number? "Raph?" she asked surprised. "Yeah, hey," he said. "Hi," she said quietly. He guessed she was trying not to wake Lauren. "So, how was the flight?" he asked, not quite remembering why he had called. "It was okay," she said, then there was a pause, "Do you hate me?" she finally asked, very bluntly. He laughed a little. "No," he said, "I don't hate you." He wondered how she could think that. "Okay," she said, sounding relieved. "Are you mad?" she asked him. "Yeah," he said honestly, "but only cause I miss you." She laughed. "I've only been gone for a few hours," she said. He smiled. "Ya, I know," he told her. The uncomfortable silence returned. "Hey Kelen, I was kinda out of it earlier. What happened?" he asked. "Um…" she said slowly, "My asshole of a father shot you in the arm. Then you were asleep for a while. After that, I got a very violent threat note, and my brother got on the phone and then told me I was going to California. I argued, then I packed, I said goodbye to you and your brothers and got on a plane." She said this rather unemotionally and Raph could understand why. He decided he might be like that too if he had been through what she had. "Ya," he responded, "I think I remember some of that." He heard Kelen take a shaky breath. "I'm so sorry," she said. "I shouldn't have put you through this. You shouldn't have to deal with me when I'm like this," she told him, he could hear her crying. "Are you crying, Kel?" he asked. "No," there was a long pause. "Yes," she admitted, "I just want you to hold me." He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "Me too," he told her. His arms felt very empty. She had always been so strong, and when she broke down one night, he didn't know what to do. But she had a lot of pain inside of her that hadn't been let out for years, and Raph learned how to comfort her eventually. Normally it was by holding her. "Soon," he promised. "Ya, soon," she agreed. He didn't know how soon though, so he asked her. "How far away is soon?" he asked. "Probably six months," she told him. He winced a little. Six months without touching her, holding her, not even seeing her face. He wouldn't be able to kiss her for six more months. He suddenly wished he had said more of a goodbye. "Probably?" he asked. "I told Leo to come get me if I was gone for six months. Knowing my brother, he's going to try and keep me here for as long as possible," she said. "What if he doesn't let you leave?" he asked worriedly. He didn't think he would last much longer then half a year. "He's my brother, not my keeper," she informed him. He laughed softly. "Alright," he said. In the background he heard a door open. Murmurs were heard and Kelen kept saying no. Finally she let out an exasperated groan and said into the phone, "Raph is it alright if I call you back tomorrow?" He really wanted to talk to her now, but knew she couldn't. "Sure babe," he said. He could practically feel her smile. "Bye," she said quietly. "Bye," he responded. He heard the phone click, but didn't hang up until he heard a dial tone. He placed the phone back in its holder and let Kelen's voice linger around in his head. He closed his eyes and tried to sleep, but couldn't. He was worried about her and was restless. He tried to stand, but that didn't work so well. He flopped back down on the bed. She would call him tomorrow, but she wouldn't be here tomorrow. She wouldn't actually be here for six more months. That was what he really wanted, for her to be here. Eventually his eyelids grew heavy and drifted off to sleep. All he could do was wait.
After the initial shock wore off of Kelen waking up, hugs and kisses were exchanged. Everyone was glad she was okay, or at least awake. Trent told her what had happened during her thankfully short coma and how they found her. But then it was Kelen's turn. "Kelen, what did your dad do exactly?" Donny questioned. Kelen was silent as she thought how to describe the brutally monstrous scene that had taken place. "Kelen, you can tell us later if you want to get some rest," Leo offered. Kelen shook her head. She really wasn't strong enough to tell them now, her mind kept drifting from past to present. Sometimes she forgot what she was talking about altogether. And when she tried to talk at all, her words were slightly slurred and she would lose her breath. "No Kelen, I think you should. Just get some rest; we'll be in the other room. Call us if you need something," Donny insisted. Then everyone reluctantly left the room with Donny's instruction. Kelen grabbed onto Raph's arm as he tried to leave. "Please don't leave me," she said quietly. As weak as she was, the fear of being alone was evident in her voice. "You'll be fine," Raph said. "We're just in the other room, nothin's gonna happen," he assured her. But she wouldn't let go of his arm. He sighed and decided she would feel better if he stayed, and so would he. "Just let me tell Don," he said. She didn't really want him to leave at all, but let go of his arm.
Raph walked out into the living room where everyone had settled. "Hey Donny," he called walking out, "Kelen's real freaked out about being alone, I'm just gonna sit with her till she falls asleep." Donny eyed him suspiciously. "What?" Raph asked annoyed. "Just let her actually sleep," he said. Raph rolled his eyes and walked back to Kelen. "Well, I'm going to bed," Mikey announced. "Good idea," Leo agreed. "Trent, why don't you sleep in Raph's room if he's going to be with Kelen?" he suggested. "Then I'll go explain things to Master Splinter," Donny offered. But the three of them had already started towards their rooms. Mikey turned and came back though. "Anything changes," he said. "I'll come get you," Don promised. Then Mikey nodded and headed off to bed. "You okay on the couch?" Donny asked Lauren. "Uh-huh," she said yawning. He kissed her. "I'll be right back," he said. She nodded. He went to go tell Splinter and Lauren laid back on the couch.
Donny softly knocked on the door to Splinter's room and entered. He sat quietly in his chair, his eyes closed, deep in thought. "Yes, my son?" he asked. "Kelen woke up. We'll take turns watching her tonight to make sure nothing happens," he said. "That is good. I trust you will take care of her properly?" he half asked. "Yes, Master Splinter," he assured. He nodded. "I will go and check on her soon," he said, "Why don't you get Lauren settled on the couch." Donny bowed. "Yes, Master Splinter," he said. Then he left his Master's room. He went to check on Kelen before he went to bed. "How are you feeling?" he asked entering the room. She groaned weakly. "I figured about much. We'll have April bring you something tomorrow. I don't think a pain killer would hurt too much," he said, examining her wounds. "Anything especially hurt?" he asked her. "Everything," she moaned. Don sighed. Her wounds would heal much quicker if she was asleep and wasn't moving. "I'll check everything again in the morning. Don't even try to walk, though. Getting up would enough to knock you out," he told her firmly. "As long as you're here, I'm gettin' coffee," Raph said, pulling himself from the chair. Once he was gone, Donny sat down on the end of Kelen's bed. "Can he be in here?" Donny whispered gesturing towards the door Raph had gone through. Kelen nodded. "If he does something you don't like, tell him," Donny instructed. He knew that Raph wouldn't understand why Kelen didn't want to be handled too much right now. She nodded again. "Get some sleep," Donny said getting up. On the way back to the living room, he grabbed a blanket for Lauren. He thought of how weird it was to have his girlfriend spending the night on his couch. He walked into the living room where he had left Lauren, but she had already fallen asleep. He walked over to the couch and covered her up to her chin. Then he softly kissed her lips and told her goodnight.
Raph entered Kelen's room and flopped down into the chair beside Kelen's bed. He reached out to touch her arm, but she flinched when he did. "What's wrong, did I hurt ya?" he asked. "No," she said, "I've just been…touched a lot lately." "They were just happy you were awake," Raph said, referring to the group that had just been in there. "That's not what I mean," she said shyly. He thought for a minute. Then it hit him…her father. Her father had touched her. He became furious. "What did he do?" he asked harshly. Kelen was taken back a bit by his tone. He realized it, but couldn't change his tone. He was too mad. "What did he do?" he asked again. Kelen was quiet. She didn't want to share all the terrible details of what her father had done. Not yet, anyway. "Not now," she told him. "Kelen," he said. "Not now," she said again. He realized she wasn't going to say anything right now and gave it up. She reached out for his hand. He took it. "Please try to understand," she pleaded. "I am," he said, "I just…don't." She managed a weak smile. "I know, I don't expect you too," she said. She squeezed his hand and then let go. She turned on her side so she was facing him. "Go to sleep. Don said you should try to get a lot a rest," he instructed. "Promise you won't leave?" she asked. "Promise," he said. She closed her eyes and yawned. He felt a little uneasy about her eyes closing again. 'Just in case,' he thought as an excuse to tell her. "Kel?" he asked. "Hmmm" she responded. "I love you," he said quickly. She opened her eyes. "I love you, too," she told him. He leaned over and kissed her gently on the lips. It felt good to Kelen to hear those words. She didn't get to hear them very often. Raph didn't know what to do next. He sat back down and when he looked over at her, her eyes were closed again. He waited until he was sure she was asleep before he relaxed. Donny came in again. "Why don't you let me keep an eye on her first? I just want to make sure her fever doesn't come back. In the meantime, you should really get some sleep," Donny said this more as a statement than a question. "Just for a couple hours. I promised I wouldn't leave," Raph said. Donny nodded. Raph was going to his room when Donny remembered something. "Raph, Trent's sleeping in your room," he said bluntly. "And Lauren's on the couch. Just sleep in my room for a couple hours," he said. Raph exhaled deeply. He went to Donny's room and tried to sleep, but his mind kept drifting to Kelen.
Donny gently examined a bad slice wound that cut from her shoulder to her chest. Her elbow was fractured and her shin was broken in at least two places. A deeper slice wound was in her upper left thigh. He knew her father could have easily killed her but didn't. He had tortured her and looked like he had raped her. So either her father had a glimmer of fondness for her and couldn't kill her, or he was trying to get to something else first. Like them, perhaps. They knew and could make it known to others what he had done to her. Donny's guess was that he was using Kelen to get to them and then he was going to kill them all, or at least try.
But he needed to examine the wounds thoroughly right now. He couldn't do that while she was awake because she was in a fragile state. She had been raped by her own father and probably didn't have the strength to remove herself mentally from the situation if he had hurt her first. He had made a cast for her elbow and shin, but they weren't permanent and he would probably have to make new ones soon. Kelen struggled in her sleep. Donny wondered she was dreaming about and decided it was best to wake her so she would stop moving. He shook her gently, but she flinched when he touched her and remained asleep. He applied a small amount of pressure to her shoulder, but she shrugged off his hand and struggled more. 'Great," he thought, "She's probably reliving the whole situation." He went to get Raph. He could stay with her now and maybe he could get her to wake up. Donny walked briskly out of the room and shut the door. The door clicked and Kelen groggily opened her eyes. A blurry face stood above her. When it came into focus, she tried to scream, but a hand clasped over her mouth. "Now, staying alone again, are we?" her father asked. Kelen gathered strength and pushed herself off the bed. As soon as her feet touched the ground, the room tilted. It went uphill in some parts and downhill in others. Her head spun and it felt like a huge metal clamp squished all her insides into a tiny ball. She felt her body burn under the strength it took to stand. She closed her eyes and when she opened them, she was facing her father. She screamed loudly. She tried to back up, but tripped and fell. She closed her eyes, ready to embrace the pain surely coming, but instead was caught by Raphael.
Her scream had everyone rushed into the room. "What are you doing up?" Donny asked amazed she had been trying to stand. Kelen turned and fell into Raph. He hugged her tightly. "He was here," she whispered. "Who?" Leo asked. "My dad," she responded. "Kelen you just had a bad dream," Trent said. "But I wasn't sleeping," she told them in a whisper. All of a sudden, a crash was heard in the abandoned subway. Raph sat Kelen down on the bed, and they all went to see what it was, not realizing they had again left Kelen alone.
When they exited the car, the bottom rung of the ladder was broken off on one side and swinging. "You think her dad really was here?" Mikey asked. "I'd say that sounds about right," it was a menacing voice coming from the car Kelen was staying in. A heavily built, tall man came from the car. Held by the wrist, he was pulling Kelen with him. And in the other hand he had a cold, steel gun flush against her neck. "Don't move," he growled to everyone. No one moved. He smiled and chuckled. But it was not at all friendly. "Beautiful, isn't she?" he asked no one in particular. He ran his hand down the edge of her body and moved it to the inside of her thigh. Raph felt anger slowly seeping through his body and knew he couldn't ignore it much longer. Not when a man, another man, was touching her like that. Not when she looked so scared.. Kelen looked at the side of her father's face through fearful eyes. He looked much older than she remembered. And she realized she was older too.
Once there were days,
When berries were so much sweeter.
Cherries so much redder,
Watermelon seeds seemed neater.
Days were filled with cowboys.
Imagination.
Things that we were not.
And all these years,
My pain, My tears,
This is what I've sought.
One day she was gone,
And for the first time I was scared.
Days of being a child,
Days filled with smiles,
Seemed to not be there.
You used me,
You abused me,
And now it's time to pay.
Mercy and forgiveness,
Are not standing in my way.
Then I was a child,
But now those days are memories,
Now you're going to have to face,
The woman I've grown to be.
Kelen did something she had longed to do for years. She forced all her pain into her leg and thrust it out in front of her father. She swept his feet out from under him and prayed he wouldn't have time to pull the trigger. He fell to the ground. He shot at her and pierced her shoulder. She stumbled to her knees. But she didn't let that stop her. She kicked the gun out of his hands. It flew up into the air and Kelen caught it with her good arm. She pointed the gun at the man who had been pointing it at her for too long. "Kelen," he said calmly and sweetly, "You don't want to do that. Remember when we would go to the park and I'd push you on the swings. Huh? Remember how I'd always let you have a sip of my coffee in the morning when you were little? How could you do something like this after all those good memories we've shared?" he asked her in a fatherly way. They saw what he was trying to do. They looked at Kelen. Her expression remained cold. "No," she growled. "No I don't remember!" she started yelling. "Wanna know what I do remember? I remember when you blamed me for my mother's death. I remember when you took away all the security I've ever known. I remember when you took control over my body; the one thing I thought was mine! I remember the notes, the pain, and all those years of torture! I remember those. As for the things you did to be my father? As far as I'm concerned, you were never my father in the first place." The barrel of the gun clicked as a bullet was loaded. But her father was up and out at a sprinting pace before she could pull it. Raph immediately went after him. 'Good,' he thought, 'This guy has no idea where he's going.' He followed close at his heels and turned a long corridor he had seen the man enter. But when he turned, there was no one there. Raph was confused. Hadn't he just come down here? He drew a pair of sai from his belt. He took but one step before the man had wrapped him in a headlock from behind. Raph felt the arms tighten around his neck. He went to get free, but had forgotten that the man might still be armed. And this man was. The last thing he felt was a sharp pain in his shoulder before he went black and fell to the ground.
The darkness faded. Raph painfully opened his eyes. He was having a hard time remembering what had happened. It was quiet and he was in April's apartment. He strained to open his eyes more and saw Kelen sitting beside him. Her eyes were closed, but tears were streaming down her face. He gently tapped her shoulder. As soon as he did, a shooting pain entered his arm. He remembered. She turned her head sharply toward him. "Oh my God, I'm so glad you're awake," she said through tears. She jumped up and held onto him like he might disappear. He gently rubbed her back with the opposite arm. One of her arms was in a sling and her skin was pale. She had dark circles around her eyes. She looked worried. "Whahpned?" he tried to ask her what had happened, but he wasn't strong enough. "Raph," she said gently. He was hearing fine and could tell by her tone that she didn't have good news. "Raph, I'm leaving." His eyes shot open even more. "What?" he said perfectly. She started crying again. "Raph, I'm going to California. It's too dangerous to be here. But I promise I'll be back," she told him. "When?" he asked, his speech returning at the thought he might lose her. "I don't know," she said. "Raphael, I love you. I always will. No matter what you do you can't make me stop. And I promise I'm not breaking up with you. But I could be gone anywhere from a week to a year. My dad is trying to kill me now more than ever. Until we figure out what to do with him and where to find him, I can't be here. But I'll be back, I promise I'll be back. I couldn't stay away from you long," she told him. He knew she was trying to convince herself as well. He knew she wasn't coming back. He wiped a tear from her cheek. "When are you going?" he asked her. "Now," she whispered. He looked at her bags in the room. "So this is goodbye?" he asked in disbelief. He was having trouble taking this all in. "No, it's see you later," she corrected. "Kelen, I can't let you go. I can't lose you," he felt tears coming but pushed them away. "Raph I'm going now," she said standing. "No. No you're not. You can not leave me," he told her firmly. She reached down and kissed him tenderly. He held onto her hand. She slung a backpack onto her shoulder. She started to back up. He wouldn't let go. "Raph," she said crying, "Please don't make this any harder than already is." He tightened his grip. "Raph," she begged hysterically. "Don't go," he begged her back. She pulled her hand away. He struggled to reach for it and finally got it again. She looked deeply into his eyes. "Goodbye," she whispered. She turned her head away and started to walk out of the room. "See you later," he corrected. She paused, but didn't say anything. He felt her hand slowly slip away and held onto it for as long as he could. Her last finger slid from his grasp. She paused at the doorway, back turned. "Kelen, don't go!" he made a final plea. Trying to ignore him, she slowly walked out of the room, the door closed behind her. "Kelen," he whispered softly, letting his voice trail off. Then he let the tears come.
Kelen walked, crying uncontrollably, into the living room. Lauren was in Donny's arms. She was crying too. Mikey walked over to Kelen. "I'm gonna miss you," he said. She took him in a hug with her one good arm. "I'll be back, you'll see," she promised. She kissed his cheek. He moved away wiping a tear and Leo was behind him. "Raph's up," she said. "I heard," he told her. "I think he hates me," she told him, tears blurring her vision. He hugged her tightly. "Thanks Leo," she whispered. "What for?" he asked. "I don't know. Just, thanks," she told him. "You're welcome," he told her. He kissed her forehead. "Take care of him," she said, meaning Raph. "I will," he promised. "I love him," she said. "I know," he replied. "You have my number and address, if I'm gone for over six months, please come get me," she told him, not giving him a choice. "Okay," he promised. Lauren was still under one of Donny's arms. He took Kelen under the other. "Take care of yourself," he told her. She kissed him and slipped away from his arm. "Come on Lauren, we gotta go," she stated sadly. Lauren went away from Donny and hugged Mike and Leo. "Tell Raph bye for me," she said, knowing if she went in there he'd beg her to make Kelen stay. They nodded. Donny held her tightly and kissed her lips. She wanted to be there forever, in his arms. But she pulled away from him crying. Kelen walked away and opened the front door; April was waiting in the car for them. "Bye Kelen," Mikey said. "Later," she said. She kept reminding herself of it. That she'd see them later. Lauren followed behind her on legs that felt detached from her body. The front shut with a depressing click and the three of them started to cry softly upon hearing it. Leo wiped his eyes, tried to gain control over himself, and went to see Raph.
Raph was laying perfectly still. The room was dark and quiet. "How are you feeling?" he asked. He didn't answer. Leo thought he might be asleep, but he wasn't. "Raph?" he asked again. "She's gone, isn't she?" Raph asked suddenly. Leo sighed and took a deep breath. "Yes Raph," he told him, "She's gone." Raph was silent. "You hungry?" Leo asked. Silence. Leo knew when to leave Raph alone, and this was one of those times. He shook his head and left.
Raph stared up at the ceiling. He studied all the different swirls of plaster and paint. It was around 2:00 a.m. Kelen had been gone for hours now. His brothers had all come in to check on him. The only one he acknowledged though was Donny. Don was more upset than Raph could ever remember seeing him. They had exchanged a couple words and Donny had re- bandaged his arm, and then he had gone. Just then, April walked into the guest bedroom he was staying in. "How are you doing?" she asked him quietly. Again, he didn't say anything. April sat on the end of the bed. "Raph," she said, "Kelen really didn't want to go today. I practically had to push her on the plane." Raph looked over at her. "Then why did she? I mean, if she didn't want to, then why?" he asked. "Because Raph, she's in danger. And by staying here she was putting you in danger. What she really should be worried about is how to avoid her father so she doesn't get killed. What she is worried about is you. She thinks you hate her," April told him. "She does?" he asked surprised. April nodded. "Think about it," she said. Then she left.
Raph thought about it for all of thirty seconds. Ignoring the time and not wondering what time it was in California, he picked up the phone. Leo had left her number and address in here when he had been in. When Raph sat up, the room spun. He didn't care. He quickly punched in the numbers on the slip of paper. He hoped April wouldn't mind a long distance call on her phone bill. The phone rang a couple times. Then a voice picked up the phone. "Hello?" it said yawning. It was Kelen. "Kel?" he asked. There was a long pause. Had he dialed the right number? "Raph?" she asked surprised. "Yeah, hey," he said. "Hi," she said quietly. He guessed she was trying not to wake Lauren. "So, how was the flight?" he asked, not quite remembering why he had called. "It was okay," she said, then there was a pause, "Do you hate me?" she finally asked, very bluntly. He laughed a little. "No," he said, "I don't hate you." He wondered how she could think that. "Okay," she said, sounding relieved. "Are you mad?" she asked him. "Yeah," he said honestly, "but only cause I miss you." She laughed. "I've only been gone for a few hours," she said. He smiled. "Ya, I know," he told her. The uncomfortable silence returned. "Hey Kelen, I was kinda out of it earlier. What happened?" he asked. "Um…" she said slowly, "My asshole of a father shot you in the arm. Then you were asleep for a while. After that, I got a very violent threat note, and my brother got on the phone and then told me I was going to California. I argued, then I packed, I said goodbye to you and your brothers and got on a plane." She said this rather unemotionally and Raph could understand why. He decided he might be like that too if he had been through what she had. "Ya," he responded, "I think I remember some of that." He heard Kelen take a shaky breath. "I'm so sorry," she said. "I shouldn't have put you through this. You shouldn't have to deal with me when I'm like this," she told him, he could hear her crying. "Are you crying, Kel?" he asked. "No," there was a long pause. "Yes," she admitted, "I just want you to hold me." He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "Me too," he told her. His arms felt very empty. She had always been so strong, and when she broke down one night, he didn't know what to do. But she had a lot of pain inside of her that hadn't been let out for years, and Raph learned how to comfort her eventually. Normally it was by holding her. "Soon," he promised. "Ya, soon," she agreed. He didn't know how soon though, so he asked her. "How far away is soon?" he asked. "Probably six months," she told him. He winced a little. Six months without touching her, holding her, not even seeing her face. He wouldn't be able to kiss her for six more months. He suddenly wished he had said more of a goodbye. "Probably?" he asked. "I told Leo to come get me if I was gone for six months. Knowing my brother, he's going to try and keep me here for as long as possible," she said. "What if he doesn't let you leave?" he asked worriedly. He didn't think he would last much longer then half a year. "He's my brother, not my keeper," she informed him. He laughed softly. "Alright," he said. In the background he heard a door open. Murmurs were heard and Kelen kept saying no. Finally she let out an exasperated groan and said into the phone, "Raph is it alright if I call you back tomorrow?" He really wanted to talk to her now, but knew she couldn't. "Sure babe," he said. He could practically feel her smile. "Bye," she said quietly. "Bye," he responded. He heard the phone click, but didn't hang up until he heard a dial tone. He placed the phone back in its holder and let Kelen's voice linger around in his head. He closed his eyes and tried to sleep, but couldn't. He was worried about her and was restless. He tried to stand, but that didn't work so well. He flopped back down on the bed. She would call him tomorrow, but she wouldn't be here tomorrow. She wouldn't actually be here for six more months. That was what he really wanted, for her to be here. Eventually his eyelids grew heavy and drifted off to sleep. All he could do was wait.