Cho: Stretching
Author's Notes: Alright. *winces* This is my VERY first time ever writing Chiriko. As we all know, he is one of the least well-known character. Please, tell me if you think this is out of character. I'll rewrite it if that's the case.
Have you ever pondered how amazing it is how distant we are from the heavens yet how strong an impact they have on our lives? My life has been dictated by the movement of the stars, the interaction of the seven constellations of Suzaku. I listen patiently to their teachings, and they guide me in return. I was born beneath them, and I will die beneath them.
That is the destiny of a warrior of Suzaku. To follow the stars, to listen to their songs in the depths of darkest night. To learn and pray and live and die in the crimson light of the god of love. To live together, to love each other. To support one another, to find strength where there is weakness.
As solitary figures, we are nothing, but as a group, we are the pinnacle of achievement.
I want to be at the top of that mountain of success.
It is the duty of a warrior of Suzaku to serve his priestess. He protects her at all costs--even his life--no matter the situation or circumstances. He is there for her whenever she may call, and he loves her when she is in dire need of a comforting hand. Suzaku is our god, but she is his child, the mortal goddess in which we hold our faith, the light of sanguinity that holds us together as one.
But I have failed the stars. I was not there when the other falsely took my name and interrupted the ceremony. Though I was aware of the dark portent of oncoming evil long before tragedy struck my fellow warriors, I hid myself away, allowing my fears of inadequacy overcome me. For hours I would bury myself in books, forcing my shame into the subconscious darkness of my mind.
What would they think of me, a warrior of Suzaku no older than ten and three years? From circulating rumors, I had already known the ages of the older. They were adults, elders, my superiors and my damnation. Some were wise like the great Chichiri-san while others were noble and brave like Hotohori-sama. What could I, a simple boy, possibly do that would cause them to accept me as their peer?
It's not as easy as it looks, you know. All my life, I have been bestowed a mind that allowed me to stretch but never reach. I am an adult in a child's boy. Though I surpass the comprehension and intelligence of many, to most I am nothing more than a child prodigy that can be used for exploitation and discovery. Children teased me incessantly when I was little. Who could blame them? It wasn't every day one of their young peers could speak three different languages and recite hours worth of a literature from memory. It's only human nature to shun what you cannot understand.
...I never truly wanted to be a government official. I took the exams because that was what people expected from me. My mother would spend hours gossiping to her friends about what her child had suddenly discovered or solved. The attention could be nice at times, but it created an invisible barrier between my older brother and I--what could he possible do that would allow him to escape the shadows created by his younger brother's reputation? Or try my first tutor, though I loved the old man dearly, spent more time praising my intelligence rather than teaching me the hard-earned lessons of life that I needed. I would have preferred listening to him drone on for hours about things I didn't care for than listen to repetitious adulation about something I was already too aware.
People don't understand what it's really like. While my mental abilities are vast, it still requires the knowledge the first be placed there. I am intelligent, but I am not experienced. How could they expect me not to be afraid when confronted with the need to see the rest of my friends.
I am only a little boy, after all.
I stayed behind because I could not bear to deal with the prejudice I would receive. I'm no fool; I knew I would (and still am) nothing more than a child prodigy to them. That was the second reason I took the government exams. The first part would give me a reason to delay my arrival, as selfish and unfair as that seems. I assumed that at least the emperor would understand the importance of the exams.
...I failed them. Even in all my vast genius, I managed to fool myself into believing that some stupid test could be measured to the same worth as the lives of my star brothers. They suffered because of my fears, failed their mission because I allowed another to take my place. What would Suzaku think of me now if he knew his gift to me had been wasted in human fear?
My late arrival had other negative effects as well. For one, the bond between seven warriors, whether one was a Seiryuu or not, had been formed, and the loss of that life had broken the chain too heavily to allow another into it. I was isolated by who I was, not one among them. I did not share the bond of having been found by the priestess. I had been forced to come to them in all my shame immediately after being betrayed by one they loved best.
...It hurts. To know that you are alone even surrounded by those you are destined to bond with is painful, but I have no one to blame but myself. I have been foolish and ignorant; I refuse to be so any longer. I will make up for my sins, for the pain I caused. Even if they never look at me with the eyes of a fellow man, I will love them like a brother. They are the elders, and I am the lonely child.
But they have forgiven me, and that's enough. It's all I really deserve after all. If they ever knew why I didn't come...I don't know if I could ever face the shame.
I follow her because I failed her, and I won't do that again. But there is another reason to, one just for me and me alone. It's because even if I don't deserve it, I still want to be the seventh link in the chain that bind us. I want to be the final line to the perfect circle of us seven. Maybe, just maybe, someday long from now in the future, they'll look at me with the eyes of a brother warrior as well, and not just as a group of angry parents looking over their troublesome son.
Final Notes From the Author:
Chiriko's a character I think many misunderstand. I mean, if you consider his ploy, it's very easily an unhappy and difficult one to deal with. Place yourself in his shoes. You're a thirteen year old boy, but you have the mind of an adult. Your instincts are that of a child, but your reason is that of an adult. It's a strange, painful paradox. We can only imagine how hard it was for him growing up, the effect it had on his family, and his life in general.
This entry was written to reflect that paradox. The wording and way of speaking would be better attributed to an adult, but throughout the entirety of the work, there is an air of childish desires. To the point where even Chiriko sometimes into less eloquent wording. I hope you liked it. ^_^ Hotohori's is next for all who care. ^_^
Ryuen: Why am I not surprised? ^_~ I Nuriko was the first one I finished that I thought came off as better than the rest, so by chance, he got his position first. I'm glad you liked that paragraph; it was a spur of the moment addition.
lotus fy fairie: Wow...interesting author name. Must check stories soon. Thank you for your kinds words! And don't worry, Tasuki should come soon! Chichiri will be taking awhile, though, since I've never written him before.
Roku-san: *hugs* Thank you. ^_^ Such kind words. I like that line too; it fits him. And yes, Nuriko always has his triumphs over pain and love, neh?
Kaze-chan: You're comparing me to the great Aeanagwen? I'm honored. ^_^ Thank THANK you for your wonderful words! (And I have been reading your fic, too! I will review! I will!)
Shnickers: Egh...same here. Good observation, poor analysis. This story is actually something I'm writing so I can get into the hang of going into the warrior's inner thoughts for the larger stories I'm planning. Thank you for considering this a well done analysis. ^_^
Kitty Lynn: You pointed out an imporant fact I think many forget. Thank you for your kind words. You have excellent analytical skills yourself. ^_~
Warnings: References to death.
Spoilers: Chiriko's apperance.
Obligatory Disclaimer: I own no part of Fushigi Yuugi or the characters Chiriko.
Devotion
Cho: StretchingHave you ever pondered how amazing it is how distant we are from the heavens yet how strong an impact they have on our lives? My life has been dictated by the movement of the stars, the interaction of the seven constellations of Suzaku. I listen patiently to their teachings, and they guide me in return. I was born beneath them, and I will die beneath them.
That is the destiny of a warrior of Suzaku. To follow the stars, to listen to their songs in the depths of darkest night. To learn and pray and live and die in the crimson light of the god of love. To live together, to love each other. To support one another, to find strength where there is weakness.
As solitary figures, we are nothing, but as a group, we are the pinnacle of achievement.
I want to be at the top of that mountain of success.
It is the duty of a warrior of Suzaku to serve his priestess. He protects her at all costs--even his life--no matter the situation or circumstances. He is there for her whenever she may call, and he loves her when she is in dire need of a comforting hand. Suzaku is our god, but she is his child, the mortal goddess in which we hold our faith, the light of sanguinity that holds us together as one.
But I have failed the stars. I was not there when the other falsely took my name and interrupted the ceremony. Though I was aware of the dark portent of oncoming evil long before tragedy struck my fellow warriors, I hid myself away, allowing my fears of inadequacy overcome me. For hours I would bury myself in books, forcing my shame into the subconscious darkness of my mind.
What would they think of me, a warrior of Suzaku no older than ten and three years? From circulating rumors, I had already known the ages of the older. They were adults, elders, my superiors and my damnation. Some were wise like the great Chichiri-san while others were noble and brave like Hotohori-sama. What could I, a simple boy, possibly do that would cause them to accept me as their peer?
It's not as easy as it looks, you know. All my life, I have been bestowed a mind that allowed me to stretch but never reach. I am an adult in a child's boy. Though I surpass the comprehension and intelligence of many, to most I am nothing more than a child prodigy that can be used for exploitation and discovery. Children teased me incessantly when I was little. Who could blame them? It wasn't every day one of their young peers could speak three different languages and recite hours worth of a literature from memory. It's only human nature to shun what you cannot understand.
...I never truly wanted to be a government official. I took the exams because that was what people expected from me. My mother would spend hours gossiping to her friends about what her child had suddenly discovered or solved. The attention could be nice at times, but it created an invisible barrier between my older brother and I--what could he possible do that would allow him to escape the shadows created by his younger brother's reputation? Or try my first tutor, though I loved the old man dearly, spent more time praising my intelligence rather than teaching me the hard-earned lessons of life that I needed. I would have preferred listening to him drone on for hours about things I didn't care for than listen to repetitious adulation about something I was already too aware.
People don't understand what it's really like. While my mental abilities are vast, it still requires the knowledge the first be placed there. I am intelligent, but I am not experienced. How could they expect me not to be afraid when confronted with the need to see the rest of my friends.
I am only a little boy, after all.
I stayed behind because I could not bear to deal with the prejudice I would receive. I'm no fool; I knew I would (and still am) nothing more than a child prodigy to them. That was the second reason I took the government exams. The first part would give me a reason to delay my arrival, as selfish and unfair as that seems. I assumed that at least the emperor would understand the importance of the exams.
...I failed them. Even in all my vast genius, I managed to fool myself into believing that some stupid test could be measured to the same worth as the lives of my star brothers. They suffered because of my fears, failed their mission because I allowed another to take my place. What would Suzaku think of me now if he knew his gift to me had been wasted in human fear?
My late arrival had other negative effects as well. For one, the bond between seven warriors, whether one was a Seiryuu or not, had been formed, and the loss of that life had broken the chain too heavily to allow another into it. I was isolated by who I was, not one among them. I did not share the bond of having been found by the priestess. I had been forced to come to them in all my shame immediately after being betrayed by one they loved best.
...It hurts. To know that you are alone even surrounded by those you are destined to bond with is painful, but I have no one to blame but myself. I have been foolish and ignorant; I refuse to be so any longer. I will make up for my sins, for the pain I caused. Even if they never look at me with the eyes of a fellow man, I will love them like a brother. They are the elders, and I am the lonely child.
But they have forgiven me, and that's enough. It's all I really deserve after all. If they ever knew why I didn't come...I don't know if I could ever face the shame.
I follow her because I failed her, and I won't do that again. But there is another reason to, one just for me and me alone. It's because even if I don't deserve it, I still want to be the seventh link in the chain that bind us. I want to be the final line to the perfect circle of us seven. Maybe, just maybe, someday long from now in the future, they'll look at me with the eyes of a brother warrior as well, and not just as a group of angry parents looking over their troublesome son.
Final Notes From the Author:
Chiriko's a character I think many misunderstand. I mean, if you consider his ploy, it's very easily an unhappy and difficult one to deal with. Place yourself in his shoes. You're a thirteen year old boy, but you have the mind of an adult. Your instincts are that of a child, but your reason is that of an adult. It's a strange, painful paradox. We can only imagine how hard it was for him growing up, the effect it had on his family, and his life in general.
This entry was written to reflect that paradox. The wording and way of speaking would be better attributed to an adult, but throughout the entirety of the work, there is an air of childish desires. To the point where even Chiriko sometimes into less eloquent wording. I hope you liked it. ^_^ Hotohori's is next for all who care. ^_^
Ryuen: Why am I not surprised? ^_~ I Nuriko was the first one I finished that I thought came off as better than the rest, so by chance, he got his position first. I'm glad you liked that paragraph; it was a spur of the moment addition.
lotus fy fairie: Wow...interesting author name. Must check stories soon. Thank you for your kinds words! And don't worry, Tasuki should come soon! Chichiri will be taking awhile, though, since I've never written him before.
Roku-san: *hugs* Thank you. ^_^ Such kind words. I like that line too; it fits him. And yes, Nuriko always has his triumphs over pain and love, neh?
Kaze-chan: You're comparing me to the great Aeanagwen? I'm honored. ^_^ Thank THANK you for your wonderful words! (And I have been reading your fic, too! I will review! I will!)
Shnickers: Egh...same here. Good observation, poor analysis. This story is actually something I'm writing so I can get into the hang of going into the warrior's inner thoughts for the larger stories I'm planning. Thank you for considering this a well done analysis. ^_^
Kitty Lynn: You pointed out an imporant fact I think many forget. Thank you for your kind words. You have excellent analytical skills yourself. ^_~